I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if bạn do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
thêm than 99% of cá mập attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if bạn are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that bạn can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person tiếp theo to bạn with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as bạn spot a shark- furiously stab the person tiếp theo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as bạn can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every cá mập has a theme song. If bạn here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a cá mập has got you. At this late stage bạn are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the bờ biển, bãi biển do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
thêm than 99% of cá mập attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if bạn are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that bạn can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person tiếp theo to bạn with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as bạn spot a shark- furiously stab the person tiếp theo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as bạn can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every cá mập has a theme song. If bạn here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a cá mập has got you. At this late stage bạn are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the bờ biển, bãi biển do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Ask everyone bạn meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as bạn can.
If bạn see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to con vịt, vịt under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as bạn can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as bạn can.
If bạn see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to con vịt, vịt under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as bạn can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, hoặc pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum thêm gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min hoặc completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting thêm till bạn reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, hoặc pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum thêm gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min hoặc completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting thêm till bạn reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Okay, so I was sitting on the đi văng last night watching some rubbish ti vi hiển thị and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my cầu vồng colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I tình yêu bạn soooooo much' and so I was like 'I tình yêu bạn more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting bạn a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting bạn one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten phút later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.
THE END
THE END
A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
I don't care who you are, it still looks like a Nazi salute to me.
The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do bạn think are greater,the advantages hoặc disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from bạn mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes bạn hoặc hits bạn *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to bạn first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Những người bạn house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes bạn *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets bạn wear his clothing *he likes bạn in his stuff*
7) If bạn are tired of waiting for him to make the first di chuyển *make it yourself*
1) She walks away from bạn mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes bạn hoặc hits bạn *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to bạn first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Những người bạn house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes bạn *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets bạn wear his clothing *he likes bạn in his stuff*
7) If bạn are tired of waiting for him to make the first di chuyển *make it yourself*
So, it's been five years since bạn passed. I wanted to take a few phút to remind people of how wonderful bạn were and how much bạn impacted my life. Honestly, even now, I miss talking to you. I miss your tình yêu các điểm thưởng on my tường and I miss just being able to talk to someone and being to say the things that I can't to anyone else.
Do bạn remember when bạn told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that bạn calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had thêm time to be Những người bạn and hang out together. I really do. bạn were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to bạn and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank bạn so much.
R.I.P BLW.
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Do bạn remember when bạn told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that bạn calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had thêm time to be Những người bạn and hang out together. I really do. bạn were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to bạn and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank bạn so much.
R.I.P BLW.
<333333333333333333333333333
I noticed some very sad things if bạn replay the first Red Dead after the prequel..
1: Jack's đắng, cay đắng line "teach me and your just run away again hoặc something" is now sadder when the prequel reveals John ran off for a whole năm when Jack was really little. Jack's clearly still angry.
2: Dutch.. He's some kinda Empty Shell of the man we once knew. The man he and Hosea raised from childhood is now out to kill hoặc capture him. And he clearly hasn't gotten better, mentally. He is now just another crazed enemy.
3: Uncle's death.. Despite having taken a level in jerkass, we feel like we know the man bởi this point. It's like meeting up with an friend... And than watching them get murdered.
4: If bạn have Jack kill Ross, bascally Arthur and John died in vein.. But sadly this is probably the true ending..
5: Seeing Bill and Javier can be rough now..
1: Jack's đắng, cay đắng line "teach me and your just run away again hoặc something" is now sadder when the prequel reveals John ran off for a whole năm when Jack was really little. Jack's clearly still angry.
2: Dutch.. He's some kinda Empty Shell of the man we once knew. The man he and Hosea raised from childhood is now out to kill hoặc capture him. And he clearly hasn't gotten better, mentally. He is now just another crazed enemy.
3: Uncle's death.. Despite having taken a level in jerkass, we feel like we know the man bởi this point. It's like meeting up with an friend... And than watching them get murdered.
4: If bạn have Jack kill Ross, bascally Arthur and John died in vein.. But sadly this is probably the true ending..
5: Seeing Bill and Javier can be rough now..
