ngẫu nhiên Article: 6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:

7

6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:

posted by Liepe

I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if bạn do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!
__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
thêm than 99% of cá mập attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if bạn are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that bạn can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.

3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person tiếp theo to bạn with BBQ rib sauce.

4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as bạn spot a shark- furiously stab the person tiếp theo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as bạn can.

5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every cá mập has a theme song. If bạn here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.

6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a cá mập has got you. At this late stage bạn are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the bờ biển, bãi biển do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!

Happy swimming! :D

deathding, I-Luv-L and 5 others like this

hetaliaitaly the thing about fat people is really really mean

Liepe It's just a joke. I have nothing against fat people or anything like that, so please don't be offend by that.

Bond_Of_Fury That's actually pretty funny.

soffi LMFAO!!!

Liepe Glad you enjoyed it.

18

33 Really Weird Exam các câu trả lời

posted by musicfanaticXD

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited bởi mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah món tráng miệng and traveled bởi Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an táo, apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bánh mỳ, bánh mì which is bánh mỳ, bánh mì made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...

7

A Poem 4 An Awsome Friend

posted by Alexyss_Cullen

bạn came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one ngày embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I tình yêu the special bond that we beutifully share,
I tình yêu the way bạn hiển thị u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever an toàn, két an toàn within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...

18

When people ask stupid questions..anoying but also funny!

posted by 7things

1)At the movies: When bạn meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are bạn doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't bạn try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When bạn ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer bơ Masala" dish good?...

30

31 Ways to Annoy Your Parents xD

posted by Mp4girl

xD... I found that alot of ppl are posting these ^^

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down yer pants as bạn can and then start dancing

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when bạn laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Everytime they say your name jump up and down rub yer stomach and pat your head.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear...

2

the flavors of HI-C nước ép, nước trái cây boxes and THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

posted by itachifan1

* trái cam, màu da cam Lavaburst
* đào (no longer produced)
* Poppin' màu hồng, hồng Lemonade
* dâu, dâu tây Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* kẹo táo, apple cooler

[edit] Hi-C Blast

* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* trái cây Pow
* trái cây Punch
* Orange
* trái cam, màu da cam Supernova
* màu hồng, hồng Lemonade
* dâu rừng, quả mâm xôi Kiwi
* Strawberry
* dâu, dâu tây Kiwi
* Wild Berry

[edit] Hi-C chua Blast

* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________

THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

5

My câu hỏi of Love;; Fear of Loving bạn && Used Me

posted by lollipopszx3

Did bạn really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be thêm than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special ngày
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that ngày
there was lots to be đã đưa ý kiến
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When bạn đã đưa ý kiến "I tình yêu you"
I đã đưa ý kiến "I tình yêu bạn too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be thêm
What if I did...

20

hàng đầu, đầu trang 10 ways to freak out your roomate

posted by chowjoyi

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) di chuyển everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an con voi weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...

11

hàng đầu, đầu trang ten reasons to be cheerful! :D

posted by pandawinx

10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our Những người bạn and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if bạn sometimes feel sad hoặc depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to bạn sorry, but if your in any other country, then bạn still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When bạn think of Sô cô la everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )

29

100 Ways to Order a pizza, bánh pizza, bánh pizza

posted by Shelly_McShelly

1. If using a touch-tone, press ngẫu nhiên numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza, bánh pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their các câu hỏi with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...

17

Stupid ngẫu nhiên Product Warnings (1)

posted by Shelly_McShelly

1. "Do not use if bạn cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping hoặc unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of...

22

Funny trích dẫn From Real People

posted by Shelly_McShelly

Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. bạn can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say bạn should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching ti vi bởi candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find ti vi very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...

13

CONGATS! your the 1000th PERSON to... FAIL! YES bạn FAIL! FIND OUT WHY bạn FAIL NOW!

posted by emma-may

WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO bạn - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring bạn the news of fail blog sooner...

some of bạn may know but the rest of bạn probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your ngày to ngày FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most ngẫu nhiên posts of failed bức ảnh shots of failures đã đăng bởi dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make bạn laugh! bạn can take failed pictures your self...

7

5 things that will make everyone think you're insane!

posted by werewolflover

Hey,it's werewolflover.you seemed to like my other bài viết like this so here's another one.I hope bạn enjoy and please rate and comment.
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks bởi (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a trà party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals bởi say "would bạn like to tham gia us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the màu hồng, hồng fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good hoặc I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?

6

20 Ways To Annoy a Disney ngôi sao

posted by xxXsk8trXxx

1. Go to a Miley Cyrus buổi hòa nhạc with an obsessed Twilight Fangirl, and go up on stage with her in the middle of the buổi hòa nhạc and talk about Edward Cullen (fangirl hoặc not). Make sure bạn both wear My Chemical Romance T-Shirts.

2. Make a gossip magazine write about a Joe Jonas and Robert Patterson scandal.

3. Tell Selena Gomez hoặc Demi Lovato that they're bad role models.

4. Diss Selena Gomez's fasion style.

5. Bring Marilyn Manson and Gene Simmons (both with makeup) to the set of Sonny With A Chance.

6. Compare Joe Jonas's áo khoác in "Burnin Up" and a The Black Parade jacket. Farmiliar?

7. Morph Miley...

9

The one thing to prove that bạn are a gunniess

posted by patrisha727

hiển thị this to your math teacher, and tell me what his/her reaction is! ^_^

Pi = 3.
141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399 375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825 342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582 231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559 644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475 648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610 454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315 588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057 270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548 074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011 949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737...

Total Drama Action Episode 14 (When It Comes Out)

posted by Random9747649

"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT ngày IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
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30

30 Things To Do During An Exam

posted by wild-bby

My friend đã đăng these on her bebo page a while cách đây so I thought I'd share them with bạn :D

1) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say ``oh geez, better get cracking'' and do some gibberish work.

2) Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming ``Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!''

3) If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the surface integral symbol.

4) Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5) Talk the entire way through the...

8

famous lef handers

posted by shiriny

one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

thêm famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy cá đuối, ray cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz

18

strange but cool facts-1

posted by shiriny

-chocolate kills dogs! True, Sô cô la affects a dog's tim, trái tim and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

-Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

-Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

-Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

-Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

-A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head

-Brains are thêm active sleeping than watching TV

-There are thêm chickens than people in the world

-The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows...

2

How To Annoy Other Drivers

posted by BellaCullen96

After bạn cut off a vehicle, give a "Thanks-for-letting-me-in" wave and nod to the other driver.
Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
Drive closely behind speeding ambulances and ngọn lửa, chữa cháy trucks so bạn get ahead of everyone who pulls over to let them pass.
Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
If another driver honks at you, ignore it, continue to do exactly what bạn are doing, and give him a dirty look.
If another driver is courteous enough to let bạn in front of him/her, hiển thị your appreciation bởi letting the entire...