I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if bạn do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
thêm than 99% of cá mập attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if bạn are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that bạn can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person tiếp theo to bạn with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as bạn spot a shark- furiously stab the person tiếp theo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as bạn can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every cá mập has a theme song. If bạn here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a cá mập has got you. At this late stage bạn are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the bờ biển, bãi biển do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With cá mập Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
thêm than 99% of cá mập attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if bạn are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that bạn can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person tiếp theo to bạn with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as bạn spot a shark- furiously stab the person tiếp theo to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as bạn can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every cá mập has a theme song. If bạn here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a cá mập has got you. At this late stage bạn are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the bờ biển, bãi biển do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Im sorry if bạn dont like me Im sorry if bạn think I suck but most of all Im sorry, I dont give a fuck
Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who bạn are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.
I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change hoặc be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.
If bạn don't like my words, don't listen. If bạn don't like my appearance, don't look. If bạn don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.
Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. bạn think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who bạn are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.
I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change hoặc be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.
If bạn don't like my words, don't listen. If bạn don't like my appearance, don't look. If bạn don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.
Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. bạn think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Note; This song is based off of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic's very own Pinkie Pie's song, 'Giggle at the Ghostie'.
Come on, Fanpop, don't bạn see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, bạn gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
báo cáo the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave bạn alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!
Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of fanpop and ze internetz. :3
Come on, Fanpop, don't bạn see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, bạn gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
báo cáo the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave bạn alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!
Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of fanpop and ze internetz. :3
Not a người hâm mộ but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.
4. Sophia Bush
She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.
3. Kaya Scodelario
Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!
2. Katie Cassidy
This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.
1. Megan Fox
Not a người hâm mộ but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!
Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.
2) Every five phút yell "The aliens are coming!"
3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time bạn see it.
4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)
5) Announce that bạn are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.
6) Call your house number and announce that bạn are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure bạn dont get a wrong number!!
7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.
8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."
9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
2) Every five phút yell "The aliens are coming!"
3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time bạn see it.
4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)
5) Announce that bạn are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.
6) Call your house number and announce that bạn are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure bạn dont get a wrong number!!
7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.
8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."
9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
1.You abuse our tình yêu bạn lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we tình yêu him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our tình yêu is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we tình yêu be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape hoặc form.
6.Guys bạn should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with bạn (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly tình yêu we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When bạn (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
2.When we find the right guy we tình yêu him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our tình yêu is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we tình yêu be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape hoặc form.
6.Guys bạn should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with bạn (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly tình yêu we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When bạn (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just đọc some of the Kẻ hủy diệt trích dẫn through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash ngày tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. bạn might get annoyed bởi it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash ngày tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. bạn might get annoyed bởi it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.