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posted by kitty190123
1. Sing the Người dơi theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Những người bạn in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If bạn have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours bởi hooking a máy quay, máy quay phim to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal bởi conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what bạn think."

17. Claim that bạn must always wear a bicycle mũ bảo hiểm as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors bạn are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip bao da, holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying thêm any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over bởi clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink đạn, hộp mực across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler ngẫu nhiên numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that bạn "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for ngẫu nhiên times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train tiếp theo Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly bạn can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five phút before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints bởi the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of trái cam, màu da cam traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your bữa tối, bữa ăn tối with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in ngẫu nhiên spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone bạn meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do bạn hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address bạn as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When giáng sinh caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Người dơi smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's chuột is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture bởi tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that bạn don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" hoặc the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your giáng sinh lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra ghế, chỗ ngồi for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a thi ca recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their các câu trả lời in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim bạn can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Always & Forever
By: moolah
Chapter One: Tuesdays
    
    Hi! My name is Naomi Locket. I am 15 years old and I have no parents. None! They died in a horrible car accident, but that’s all right bởi me, it gives me thêm time to spend with the hottest guy alive-Thomas Richards. He’s my boyfriend of 2 years. He has auburn hair and green eyes. But, the disadvantage of having a boyfriend, and being so close, is the often result-babies. Our daughter and son (twins), Jordyn(girl) and Emmett(boy) are about 6 months old. Jordyn is the most adorable little baby,...
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posted by darkkhorn19
If bạn have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, bạn have $1.19. bạn also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest ngẫu nhiên speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company...
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posted by invadercalliope
Hi everyone this is the Invader Calliope show!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and l then Mellow then Near!
I do tình yêu Misa though!
I tình yêu cơm, gạo balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I tình yêu my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I tình yêu the colors: vôi Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I tình yêu the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Miss Carey: Here are your costumes for the play children. Come and see!
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own thiên nga costume. Look at my trái cam, màu da cam beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here bạn are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look thêm ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
It can be hard at times, but for some girls it is no problem to be Những người bạn with an ex.

The key is in how the relationship has ended. It's important that there is no anger and no one has cheated. If this is true for bạn then it is thêm than possible that with a little time bạn two can go back to being friends.

Những người bạn and just friends. bạn must be clear about what bạn want. Sometimes when we pretend to want to be Những người bạn with our ex, we are really looking to get back together. Sometimes this is what bạn want and it works, but if it goes wrong then things will be even worse.

Give him space. If after some time apart bạn still want to continue to spend time together without wanting to be a couple, then bạn are ready to be Những người bạn again!

-source: justjared T.V show<>
Hey everyone!!This is the story of the time I was at Wal-Mart with some Những người bạn and the ngọn lửa, chữa cháy alarm went off but nobody cared and a baby died!


So anyway me and my friend Gyrrrrrrlllllllll were at Wal-Mart stealing stuff when the ngọn lửa, chữa cháy alarm went off.It was so funny cause nobody knew what to do.We were all just standing there not moving.It would have been thêm funny to bạn if bạn *had've been there.


*I don't even think this is a word!

The End.

Nevermind.Fanpop đã đưa ý kiến this bài viết is too short.Now what?That's all I had to say.Maybe if I say KITTENS!!!That will work.
"As I was sleeping on the tree, something suddenly tickled me. It wasn't like a cái gối, gối feather hoặc a back scratcher, but was thêm like a scaley tickle. As I giggled in my sleep, a tight squeeze suddenly brought my attention. As I woke up and looked around, I realized I was being trapped bởi a large python- a 20 ft long sucker at that!

I had no idea how this snake found me nor did I wanted to know why he caught me. The large seprent suddenly squeezed me tighter and tighter until my face turned dark purple. I was suffocating to my death. It would've been the end of the world for me. Luckly, the...
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This is a funny story I came up with just now, so I hope bạn all enjoy it. ^_^

"My most ngẫu nhiên adventure ever began on a distant island far, far away from anywhere. The island was silent, no one appeared to live on the island. It was all quite until a loud stomp was heard from a distance. As I pulled my face up from the beachy sand, I began shaking with fear, not even wanting to know who hoặc what made that noise.

With a light of speed, I raced my way out from the bờ biển, bãi biển and into the dense jungle. I was hoping to find help, but couldn't find anyone. Just then however, someone grabbed me very quickly...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
Katy Perry is a bit spaced out! Why? Because she keeps forgetting important facts, like that Russell Brand is her husband!

She's been married for a couple months now, but still can’t get used to calling him her husband.

“I forget to call him ‘my husband’ sometimes and still say ‘my boyfriend’. But I’ll get there,” she said.

This can happen to anyone we suppose, it takes a while to get used to the idea of being a wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 One of my yêu thích book series'.
One of my favorite book series'.
At least, I think that it’s the fifth. Okay, I haven't written in a while, but still. Miss me? The correct answer to that câu hỏi is: "Yes Rosie, we ALLLLLL missed you! Where were you!?" Well I'm glad bạn asked! I've been around. Mostly on the Harry Potter vs. Twilight club though. Either way, I'm back with all new topics and stuff. Sooooooo....
Alright Ladies and Gentleman, today I’m going to talk about something that I feel strongly about, even thought I know that many (weird) people will go psycho on me. And for all bạn haters of haterz, I just want to tell bạn that THIS IS AN OPINION!...
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Yesterday, Demi Lovato talked about the nominees for the American âm nhạc Awards coming up on the 21st of November.

It will be really exciting, because in the category for Best Female Popstar we have Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry!

In the category for Best Male Artist we have to choose between Justin Bieber, his friend Usher and Eminem. Who will win?

And as far as Artist of the Year, it is between Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Ke$ha and Eminem. An interesting mix and tough competition.

bạn can vote for your các sở thích on the event webpage here: American âm nhạc Awards.
i hope bạn like it..s not my best work but its pretty good. exspecially when i play it on gutair.its the first bài viết i put on here so plz bình luận , honestly, and say if i should put more??thanks!sorry about the bad format


YOur lvoe is suicide(title)

I know bạn amy not understand
but if bạn can
please understand
I see bạn underestimate me
all i can be
please try to see

If i turn around just for a minute
what would bạn say? take this away
If i told bạn how i feel, would it be real hoặc is this all fake??

Chourus: your tình yêu is suicide, all trapped inside-inside my mind. It trys to escape , to...
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 This picture is completely irrelivant to my blog.
This picture is completely irrelivant to my blog.
Hello, I’m back! I’ll write thêm now.
So this ngẫu nhiên kid comes up to me today and says: “Is there someone bạn want to defenestrate?” Now, I have a pretty large vocabulary, but I had no idea what she just said, so I đã đưa ý kiến “What?” and she đã đưa ý kiến “Defenestration is the act of throwing someone out of a window.” And then without looking at me she just turned and walked away, leaving me standing there thinking what the hell just happened? I have got to find out who that girl is, because whoever she is, she is AWSOME.
    One thought that occurred to me today was (those...
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Okay, I wanted to create a website and start a blog, but I’ve never really had the time, hoặc the ability. So what I plan to do is post some sort of ngẫu nhiên blog on the ngẫu nhiên người hâm mộ page. Just things that I’ve been thinking lately.
So, to start off I’m going to tell a story about my life.
One ngày this summer, my friend (Let’s call him ‘Joe’) and I were playing capture the flag. (One of my yêu thích games.) With his little sister and my little brother. We’re tiếp theo door neighbors, so we had his house be our base, and our siblings got my house. My brother immediately ran inside the house...
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5 thêm incredibly ngẫu nhiên stuff...I'd like to note that not everything listed is exactly possible, but each is genuinely unique and ngẫu nhiên in it's own way....

5) wear a nametag that reads "hello. My name is Jesus Christ" (or famous person) when some one says "you're not Jesus" turn around and say "Jesus? Where?"
4) befriend a zombie (don't try unless you're okay with being bitten)
3) give out autographs to complete strangers and pretend you're famous
2) divide bởi zero (it's a little harder than it looks)
1) walk up behind someone and whisper in their ear "I like mudkips...."

Lots of laughs...I recommend 3, 2 and 1
Ever met that one person who really really aggervates bạn , like constantly talking hoặc doing everything bạn do , well im gonna help bạn deal with them without punching them in the face (kris style <3)

1) always carry a stress ball , those things do work , and if not , bạn can always throw it at him/her

2) Carry a cái gối, gối in bạn purse/bag , so if bạn need to scream , scream in the cái gối, gối , this pervents people from thinking your crazy

3) Earphones , bạn COULD use them to block that person out , but studies hiển thị that if that person happens to nuốt, nhạn one of the earphones , they wont talk anymore ,

4)Just a hint ; throwing chairs never helps ,

5)Try to be their friend , mabey that'll work

6) if its your sibbling ,

Girl:flush her fav búp bê barbie doll
Boy:Flush his favorate comic book
mixed gender: Flush their face (:

Again; Kris style <3
any ideas on any other topis to make kris style , please tell me (: <3
KrisLovesYou !
posted by energizerbunny
Anyway I'm back and I had a great time, except when we were on a bus and it was over 100 degrees, it was soooo hot, and after a while people were starting to get ill...but not me, I was laughing at everyone and they were getting mad at me lol


So we finally got at the cabins, the boys got the bigger one but they had thêm people, besides the girls had a much better game room, me and 4 other girls wanted to stay up all night...you could tell that we were sleepy because we were giggling at nothing and jumping at everything lol


I was soo sleepy, I fell asleep on the Pooltable which was surprisingly...
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posted by MovieManiac95
 Are bạn MAD!?
Are You MAD!?
-Jumped And Hit Nothing
-Fell UP The Stairs
-Eaten your hand
-Swallowed nothing but choked anyways
-Gone Without Blinking
-Scratched An Itch That Was Never There
-Craved Cake but ate cereal
-Wished to fly, but had wings all along
-Skipped Without Moving
-Talked without talking
-Looked at nothing
-Done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
-Wished for school to be over, but miss it in the end
-eaten a cookie in your dream and tasted it

???????????????????????????


IF SO, LEMME KNOW :)
_________________________________________
If you're wondering what that was all about,
it was merely an introduction to my strange-ness,
and it's a...
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ngẫu nhiên Facts but are They True?



The first couple to be shown in giường together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every ngày thêm money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury




Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.




It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number...
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posted by simpleplan
Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.

What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.

In 1386, a pig in France was executed bởi public hanging for the murder of a child

The average person laughs 10 times a day!

12 newborns will be được trao to the wrong parents daily, on average!

The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year

The storage capacity of human brain exceeds 4 Terrabytes

According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored ngày for self-destruction.

Cats sleep 16 to 18 hours per day.

The most money ever paid for a...
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