Open Your Eyes

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If bạn have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal bởi conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what bạn think."

7. Claim that bạn must always wear a bicycle mũ bảo hiểm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...

1. Back away from each person saying, "EW! GERMS!"

2. Sit in someone's lap and say, "I'm afraid your going to die, Jimmy."

3. Bring a radio and play screamo music.

4. Every once in a while, ask a doctor, "IS IT MY TURN YET?!"

5. Ask everyone why they're just sitting there.

6. When Dorah comes on, sing the lyrics.

7. Grab toys such as búp bê barbie búp bê and scream, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Look, Mr. Stuffy Wuff is happy!"

8. Yell, "IT'S A TRAP!" and tackle a ngẫu nhiên patient.

9. Poke at someone's scab and yell, "IS THIS SCAB EATABLE?!"

10. When your finally called on, yell, "FINALLY! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

11. Go up to...

Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the Nữ hoàng băng giá thực phẩm doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps bạn out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around giáng sinh time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if bạn can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...

Jeez, so many lists about girls telling guys what they should do when imposing them and such... It's time to extinguish those high standards, with some cold, hard, facts about us. Fighting ngọn lửa, chữa cháy with fire. *puts on sunglasses* Oh yeah.

So girls, here's a danh sách about boys, bởi a boy.


Guys look, but don't flirt!
1. We look at other girls often, as ashamed as some of us might be about it. We're just naturally distracted. It, however, doesn't mean we're flirting with them straight away. Here's a câu hỏi I'd like to ask all girls in a relationship. What are bạn expecting your boyfriend to do, cheat on...

1. When bạn get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why bạn were speeding, tell him bạn wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend bạn are deaf.

4. If he asks if bạn knew how fast bạn were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if bạn can see his gun.

6. When he says bạn aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why bạn were speeding, tell him bạn had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him bởi his first name.

11. Pretend bạn are gay and ask...

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
Actually, I wanted to get bạn something super great, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If bạn don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life đã đưa ý kiến Kitty Collins. Be glad you’re doing it gracefully.
An old fart is as good as a new one….



(written...

WARNING: This rant will contain swearing

This episode...oh god this episode...

It starts with the Griffin family stuck in their house during a Hurricane. The Griffins (excluding Meg) decides to play a game and Meg wants to tham gia their game, they tell her:

"No one wants to be fingerbanged bởi you!"

The Griffins are as***les towards Meg. And before bạn Family Guy những người hâm mộ start to flame me, Meg is my yêu thích character.

Peter decides to annoy the whole family. To which Meg opens up a can of soda. Peter snaps at Meg, and surprisingly Meg stands up for herself.

Now what amazes me is that the hiển thị puts her...