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I'M THINKING.... BUT NOTHING'S HAPPENING!

I'm not smiling at you, I'm just trying not to laugh. :)

I'm not lazy, I'm just happy doing nothing.

(*)Theres always a light at the end of a tunnel, just pray its not a train(*)

My imaginary friend thinks your crazy.

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, bạn can be impossible?

Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home.

Dont steal, the government hates competition.

Sarcasm is just one thêm service I offer.

Ask me about microwaving mèo for fun and profit.

Earn easy cash in your spare time bởi blackmailing friends.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Those who live bởi the sword get shot bởi those who don't.

I tình yêu cats... They taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with ngọn lửa, chữa cháy at one end and a fool at the other!


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either


CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied bởi the number present


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force bởi which masculine will power is defeated bởi feminine water-power!...
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NOT bởi ME~~~~~~♥♥♥

1. Don't tell us when bạn think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever bạn have to say during commercials.
3. If bạn don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about bạn ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like bạn to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that bạn can eat all you...
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1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that bạn didn't ask the price for.

3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the thực phẩm comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.


4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.


5. Pay for a large order in pennies.


6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time bạn pass the window. For added fun,...
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