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Okay, instead of just nghề viết văn about ngẫu nhiên things that no one really cares about, I’m going to make a danh sách of my absolute yêu thích words in the entire universe. But first: HAPPY CHRISTMAHANUKWANZA!!!! Most people just say Happy Holidays, but I like to be original. 

1.    Blimo = The mix between a blimp and a limo
2.    Uber = It’s like very, but thêm epic.
3.    Freaking = it’s like saying ‘fucking’ but bạn don’t get in trouble for saying it.
4.    Epic/Epicness = you’d better know what this means.
5.    Pie = an awesome dessert.
6.    Cheese = I don’t even know why I like saying this, I just do.
7.    Awesome-sauce = okay, so this isn’t my word. It’s still epic.
8.    Schoo = it’s what I call my dog.
9.    Banana = should I even explain this one?
10.    Peoples = Instead of saying ‘people’ I say ‘peoples.’ It just sounds better.
11.    Sirius = this actually started on Fanpop. It’s a reference to Sirius Black in Harry Potter. (Hmm, should I mention Potato also?)
12.    YAY! = YAY!

And now for the danh sách of words that I won’t say:

1.    Gay
2.    Retarded

I HATE it when people use those words as insults. Especially gay. It’s stupid. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH EITHER OF THESE THINGS. Thank you.
Now I’m going to tell bạn all about the sweet, loving family giáng sinh story that everyone knows, entitled: “Mom, can I get a new cell phone?”
You’ve all asked it. bạn know it’s true. But this year, my parents ACTUALLY AGREED! I was sooo exited. bạn see, while some of bạn might have an iPhone, hoặc a Blackberry, I have a flip phone. That’s right, a flip phone. My phone is known throughout my ENTIRE SCHOOL as the crappiest phone known to peoples. (See?) My parents and I looked online, and we found the BEST phone EVER. And best of all It was FREE. That’s right, FREE. It was my dream cell phone, and I wouldn’t have to pay a dime for it! I was jumping with excitement. Well, bạn all know what happens in stories like these: the uber (see?) exited girl gets her hoes up, and then SOMETHING comes along and kills the girl’s hopes and dreams, condemning her to live in a sad, new phoneless state for all of eternity. Were bạn guessing that this was going to happen?
bạn would be right.
Have bạn ever heard of a phone contract? Well, it’s basically where bạn can only get a free phone every two years. Guess what? I have one. So I can’t get a new phone until May. MAY. *Cries* I DON’T WANNA WAIT UNTIL MAY! I WANT A NEW PHONE NOW!!!!
It didn’t work.
So, I will be the not-so-proud owner of a flip phone until tiếp theo May. Five thêm months, five thêm months, five thêm months……
added by PaulInDaHood
Source: unfriendable
added by smartone123
Source: me
added by Alexyss_Cullen
I'm putting two funny các bài viết together in one, hope bạn enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I tình yêu deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would bạn know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what bạn need, and I'll tell you...
continue reading...
1) I can't reach my license unless bạn hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3) Aren't bạn the guy from the Village People?

4) Hey, bạn must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5) Are bạn Andy hoặc Barney?

6) I thought bạn had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer

7) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8) I pay your salary!

9) Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10) Do bạn know why bạn pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11)...
continue reading...
posted by ciaraluvsjustin
1.Grimace painfully,while smacking your forhead and say"Shut up all of you,just shut up!"
2.Crack open your cặp, vali, cặp tài liệu hoặc purse,and while peering inside,ask"got enough air in there little guy?"
3.Meow occasionally.
4.Stare at another passenger for a while,then announce in horror,"You're one of THEM!!" then back away slowly and scream until they get out of the elevator.
5.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
6.Make explosion noises whenever someone preses a button.
7.Drop a pen,then wait until someone picks it up and scream"THATS MINE.
8.Bring your camera and take pictures of everyone on the elevator.
9.When the doors close,say to the person tiếp theo to you"Its OK.They open up again"then give them reassuring hug.
10.Swat at flies that don't exist.
added by mistymaydawngo
added by TitanicLeoKate
Source: Tumblr
added by edwardrobertcul
added by xXitachiXx
added by gossip-girl999
added by Queen365
added by Heidihi2
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Haha!!I tình yêu this song!
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