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posted by karpach_13
Product Warnings:

"Do not use if bạn cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.


"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.


"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.


"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.


"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.


"Do not use while sleeping hoặc unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.


"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a Sô cô la CD in a gift basket.


"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.


"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.


"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.


"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.


"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.


"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy mũ bảo hiểm used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, hoặc sparks." -- On an

"Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.


"Battery may explore hoặc leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.


"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner đạn, hộp mực for a laser printer.


"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.


"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.


"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.


"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."


"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's pizza, bánh pizza box.


"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.


"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."


"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.


"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.


"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.


"Not suitable for children aged 36 months hoặc less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 năm old.


"Do not recharge, put in backwards, hoặc use." -- On a battery.


"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated ghế, chỗ ngồi cushion.


"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.


"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on động vật only." -- On an electric cattle prod.


"For use bởi trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.


"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.


"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.


"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either bởi falling into the water hoặc while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.


"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm bởi 15cm bởi 12cm.


"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.


"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.


"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.


"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.


"Twist hàng đầu, đầu trang off with hands. Throw hàng đầu, đầu trang away. Do not put hàng đầu, đầu trang in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.


"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a sữa crate.


"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.


"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of con chuột poison.


"Fragile. Do not drop." -- đã đăng on a Boeing 757.


"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.


"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.


"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.


"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.


"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.


"Do not drive car hoặc operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.


"For indoor hoặc outdoor use only." -- On a string of giáng sinh lights.


"Wearing of this quần áo, may mặc does not enable bạn to fly." -- On a child sized Siêu nhân costume.


"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.


"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.


"Warning: do not use if bạn have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.


"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a siêu thị món tráng miệng box.


"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a siêu thị món tráng miệng box.


"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.


"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.


"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.


"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.


"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a ti vi advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is bởi using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.


"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.


"Do not dangle the chuột bởi its cable hoặc throw the chuột at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.


"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.


"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.


"Do not eat if niêm phong, con dấu is missing." -- On đã đưa ý kiến seal.


"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."


"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.


"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.


"Warning: Misuse may cause injury hoặc death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.


"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.


"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.


"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.


"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.


"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a trái cây Roll-Up snack.


"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.


"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.


"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.


"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.


"Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image.
Assurances:


"Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
Small Print From Commercials:


"Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.


"Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.


"Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.


"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
Signs and Notices:

"No stopping hoặc standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.


"Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm bờ biển, bãi biển park circa 1950.
"These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.


"All cups leaving this store, rather full hoặc empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.


"Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.


"Prescriptions cannot be filled bởi phone." -- On a form in a clinic.


"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.


"Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided vòi hoa sen mũ lưỡi trai, cap box.


"Payment is due bởi the due date." -- On a credit card statement.


"No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.


"Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
Safety Procedures:


"Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.


"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.
Ingredients:

"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients danh sách on a package of trái cây buns.


"100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater.


"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if bạn believe this may be the case.
Materials:
Covering: 100% Unknown.
Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
-- On a pillow.


"Cleans and refreshes without soap hoặc water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image.
Instructions:

"Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the
plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.


"Take one capsule bởi mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.


"Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.


"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a bánh nướng xốp, muffin at a 7-11.


"Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.


"Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.


"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann Nữ hoàng băng giá dinner.


"Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.


"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.


"Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.


"The appliance is switched on bởi setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an cà phê espresso kettle.


"For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich, bánh sandwich box.
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posted by itachifan1
If bạn stop before bạn reach the end bạn have a very small heart...


Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,


He told his Những người bạn that it was cool,


And when he pulled the trigger back,


It shot with a great crack.


Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,


I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!


But Mommy, when I went to school that day,


I never đã đưa ý kiến good-bye,


I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.


When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,


And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.


Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I tình yêu him very much,


And...
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