1. When bạn get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why bạn were speeding, tell him bạn wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend bạn are deaf.

4. If he asks if bạn knew how fast bạn were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if bạn can see his gun.

6. When he says bạn aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why bạn were speeding, tell him bạn had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him bởi his first name.

11. Pretend bạn are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks bạn to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks bạn to spread them, tell him bạn don’t go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say “Usually my dates buy me bữa tối, bữa ăn tối first”

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause bạn don’t like ink on your fingers.

19. After bạn sign the ticket and give it to him, say “Oops! That’s the wrong name.”

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say “License and registration, please” right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read bạn your rights, sing “La La La, I can’t hear you!”

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes bạn away.

25. Before bạn sign the ticket, pick your nose. bạn have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it’s a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar…..

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like bạn are retarded.

32. When he’s telling bạn what bạn did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells bạn to stop, say what are bạn talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin bánh doughnut and say hmmm….only 5 of bạn here tonight…….

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five yêu thích Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say bạn missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if bạn can buy his car.

48. If he takes bạn to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If bạn know him, say bạn had his wife for dinner.

51. If bạn don’t know him, ask if bạn can have his wife for dinner. Oops…I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When bạn are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what bạn gonna do with that.

59. If bạn are female, say I don’t do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks bạn in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say “Look at the pretty colors!”

62. Tell him bạn like men in uniform.

63. Ask if bạn can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party