How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While bạn Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that bạn have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that bạn really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, hoặc just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless bạn make something for the sake of hiển thị off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually thêm to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any người hâm mộ of rock âm nhạc from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to hiển thị it to bạn all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made bởi the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the thêm meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A ngày in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and chẻ, phân chia, split into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on Nintendo games, the most gần đây one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird Nhật Bản only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in Châu Âu for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in Nhật Bản on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, bạn were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And bởi the end, I hope, bạn will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. bạn play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the tim, trái tim to Kiss her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls tim, trái tim bởi gaining confidence bởi kissing other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, bãi rác, dumpster diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the một giây I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I tình yêu this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for thực phẩm is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s thêm strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when bạn go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a thêm charming demeanor. I wish thêm games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby cáo, fox really was inspired bởi Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, bởi the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so bạn gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). bạn have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, hoặc seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a ngày of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight trang chủ robotically every ngày (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done bởi the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the âm nhạc is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I tình yêu hearing the âm nhạc of the town drown out when bạn go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as bạn can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the âm nhạc fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, chó barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while bạn sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train trang chủ with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and kissing them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the bức ảnh album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange thiết kế they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about kissing people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if bạn game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if bạn are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get bạn killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills bạn at a low level. Ride the slide? bạn trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? bạn jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net bạn shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item bạn carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes bạn need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes bạn can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell bạn that. At the factory, bạn can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell bạn that, so bạn could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless bạn bởi chance start pushing buttons and learn, hoặc just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, bạn live, hoặc bạn die, but bạn reload your save, bạn learn, bạn go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit bởi lightning when bạn solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck bạn for that one game. So yeah, bạn better be kissing people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I tình yêu these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a âm nhạc box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a con nhện, nhện with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to tình yêu most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her Mất tích hát career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes trang chủ to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my các sở thích is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when bạn get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town bởi two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until bạn ngọn lửa, chữa cháy him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the thêm depression, thêm serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because bạn live in poverty bởi police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make bạn glad, and this game can make bạn sad. But this game can also make bạn really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been hát this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic đít, mông, ass puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If bạn play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. bạn don’t have to get every kiss. bạn can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when bạn can Kiss them, it’s randomized. bạn can’t just go to their spot at night and Kiss them, of course not. bạn gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. cà tím Boy wants bạn to eat an cà tím in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants bạn to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants bạn to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want bạn to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to Kiss them. And it could be ngẫu nhiên when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into bạn and knock bạn down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If bạn Kiss them before the moment, they will hit bạn and it may even kill you. Regardless, if bạn wait too long, they will leave and bạn have no chance of getting them until bạn either reload your save, hoặc go do something else hoặc sleep hoặc read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I tình yêu time management games. Some of my yêu thích games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours đọc a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I đã đưa ý kiến we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the tình yêu letter set needed to beat the game, bạn gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks bạn bởi making bạn a manager card to come in and look around. bạn ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right hoặc get hurt and risk death. But I assume bạn survived. So bạn have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code bạn got from the old manager into the tram numbers and bạn will open the an toàn, két an toàn on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give bạn hints and it has a funny pay off. And bạn complete your goal. Not bad… But if bạn want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So bạn get to Funny Bone Factory and start đọc your book at the train station. bạn arrived after every other worker was going in, so bạn can’t go in. No, bạn can’t go in at any point. bạn go in while everyone else is going in, hoặc you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after bạn wait, and I’ll assume bạn kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So bạn save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and bạn get to go in. bạn do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and bạn have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his Kiss later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. bạn can NOT go to these areas how bạn want. bạn have to go to them on a set order at a set time. bạn leave when the game says bạn can leave. Batayan is in the một giây of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. bạn have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, bạn don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, bạn have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, bởi some miracle, bạn get the security guard to be in the fourth area. bạn hide and wait for night and now bạn have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. bạn need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send bạn there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is ngẫu nhiên when he will be kissable, and can knock into bạn and waste time. After that, there’s one in the một giây area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if bạn aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants bạn to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the một giây area to Kiss one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just hiển thị up then fuck off without giving bạn a chance. Then bạn gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then bạn can Kiss him. After that, bạn gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean bạn can explore the factory on your own hoặc at night. If bạn miss one, bạn gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to Kiss them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were bạn even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to Kiss one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste thêm of my time just to Kiss them. But when the game isn’t frustrating bạn with giving it to bạn straight but not actually letting bạn have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a Kiss from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as bạn Kiss certain people, they may drop for bạn an Alien Dictionary, which allows bạn to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help bạn figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant âm nhạc box… um, okay… And then after that, bạn have to go and find the right notes to the âm nhạc box. But the game doesn’t tell bạn that bạn need to find a set of ngôi sao Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. bạn could come to that bởi exploring this part at ngẫu nhiên and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So bạn put it there and get the notes. But when bạn get the notes, bạn can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can bạn put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant âm nhạc box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, bóng đá means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of bóng đá on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no bóng đá ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got Mất tích in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like bạn need to Kiss this alien to prove bạn had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give bạn the piece of the tình yêu Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if bạn want to play this game, skip this tiếp theo paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and bạn are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s tim, trái tim in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts bạn into some… fucking weird place. bạn are now having to test your logic of what bạn learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if bạn just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for thực phẩm in her bar, and bạn have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that tình yêu her cooking, bạn pass and can di chuyển onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. bạn meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins bạn against answering twenty các câu hỏi about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital hoặc the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if bạn have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, bạn can prevail. It all comes down to hoping bạn can survive the mèo onslaught of questions, and attacks if bạn get them wrong, bởi testing how much bạn invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the trà she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable bạn think bạn are, having someone hiển thị genuine kindness to you, to help bạn out just because they want to, and hiển thị that bạn care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I tình yêu this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would tình yêu to see Chulip get revived as a sort of manga comic hoặc a cartoon of sorts hoặc something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and thiết kế other games later on, including being the producer of the No thêm Giải cứu thế giới games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if bạn can help it. And for the tình yêu of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell bạn if bạn should play this game hoặc not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that bạn really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, hoặc just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless bạn make something for the sake of hiển thị off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually thêm to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any người hâm mộ of rock âm nhạc from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to hiển thị it to bạn all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made bởi the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the thêm meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A ngày in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and chẻ, phân chia, split into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on Nintendo games, the most gần đây one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird Nhật Bản only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in Châu Âu for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in Nhật Bản on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, bạn were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And bởi the end, I hope, bạn will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. bạn play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the tim, trái tim to Kiss her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls tim, trái tim bởi gaining confidence bởi kissing other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, bãi rác, dumpster diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the một giây I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I tình yêu this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for thực phẩm is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s thêm strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when bạn go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a thêm charming demeanor. I wish thêm games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby cáo, fox really was inspired bởi Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, bởi the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so bạn gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). bạn have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, hoặc seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a ngày of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight trang chủ robotically every ngày (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done bởi the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the âm nhạc is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I tình yêu hearing the âm nhạc of the town drown out when bạn go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as bạn can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the âm nhạc fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, chó barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while bạn sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train trang chủ with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and kissing them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the bức ảnh album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange thiết kế they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about kissing people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if bạn game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if bạn are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get bạn killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills bạn at a low level. Ride the slide? bạn trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? bạn jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net bạn shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item bạn carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes bạn need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes bạn can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell bạn that. At the factory, bạn can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell bạn that, so bạn could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless bạn bởi chance start pushing buttons and learn, hoặc just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, bạn live, hoặc bạn die, but bạn reload your save, bạn learn, bạn go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit bởi lightning when bạn solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck bạn for that one game. So yeah, bạn better be kissing people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I tình yêu these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a âm nhạc box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a con nhện, nhện with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to tình yêu most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her Mất tích hát career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes trang chủ to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my các sở thích is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when bạn get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town bởi two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until bạn ngọn lửa, chữa cháy him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the thêm depression, thêm serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because bạn live in poverty bởi police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make bạn glad, and this game can make bạn sad. But this game can also make bạn really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been hát this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic đít, mông, ass puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If bạn play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. bạn don’t have to get every kiss. bạn can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when bạn can Kiss them, it’s randomized. bạn can’t just go to their spot at night and Kiss them, of course not. bạn gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. cà tím Boy wants bạn to eat an cà tím in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants bạn to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants bạn to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want bạn to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to Kiss them. And it could be ngẫu nhiên when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into bạn and knock bạn down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If bạn Kiss them before the moment, they will hit bạn and it may even kill you. Regardless, if bạn wait too long, they will leave and bạn have no chance of getting them until bạn either reload your save, hoặc go do something else hoặc sleep hoặc read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I tình yêu time management games. Some of my yêu thích games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours đọc a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I đã đưa ý kiến we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the tình yêu letter set needed to beat the game, bạn gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks bạn bởi making bạn a manager card to come in and look around. bạn ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right hoặc get hurt and risk death. But I assume bạn survived. So bạn have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code bạn got from the old manager into the tram numbers and bạn will open the an toàn, két an toàn on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give bạn hints and it has a funny pay off. And bạn complete your goal. Not bad… But if bạn want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So bạn get to Funny Bone Factory and start đọc your book at the train station. bạn arrived after every other worker was going in, so bạn can’t go in. No, bạn can’t go in at any point. bạn go in while everyone else is going in, hoặc you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after bạn wait, and I’ll assume bạn kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So bạn save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and bạn get to go in. bạn do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and bạn have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his Kiss later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. bạn can NOT go to these areas how bạn want. bạn have to go to them on a set order at a set time. bạn leave when the game says bạn can leave. Batayan is in the một giây of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. bạn have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, bạn don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, bạn have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, bởi some miracle, bạn get the security guard to be in the fourth area. bạn hide and wait for night and now bạn have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. bạn need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send bạn there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is ngẫu nhiên when he will be kissable, and can knock into bạn and waste time. After that, there’s one in the một giây area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if bạn aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants bạn to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the một giây area to Kiss one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just hiển thị up then fuck off without giving bạn a chance. Then bạn gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then bạn can Kiss him. After that, bạn gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean bạn can explore the factory on your own hoặc at night. If bạn miss one, bạn gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to Kiss them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were bạn even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to Kiss one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste thêm of my time just to Kiss them. But when the game isn’t frustrating bạn with giving it to bạn straight but not actually letting bạn have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a Kiss from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as bạn Kiss certain people, they may drop for bạn an Alien Dictionary, which allows bạn to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help bạn figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant âm nhạc box… um, okay… And then after that, bạn have to go and find the right notes to the âm nhạc box. But the game doesn’t tell bạn that bạn need to find a set of ngôi sao Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. bạn could come to that bởi exploring this part at ngẫu nhiên and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So bạn put it there and get the notes. But when bạn get the notes, bạn can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can bạn put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant âm nhạc box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, bóng đá means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of bóng đá on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no bóng đá ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got Mất tích in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like bạn need to Kiss this alien to prove bạn had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give bạn the piece of the tình yêu Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if bạn want to play this game, skip this tiếp theo paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and bạn are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s tim, trái tim in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts bạn into some… fucking weird place. bạn are now having to test your logic of what bạn learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if bạn just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for thực phẩm in her bar, and bạn have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that tình yêu her cooking, bạn pass and can di chuyển onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. bạn meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins bạn against answering twenty các câu hỏi about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital hoặc the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if bạn have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, bạn can prevail. It all comes down to hoping bạn can survive the mèo onslaught of questions, and attacks if bạn get them wrong, bởi testing how much bạn invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the trà she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable bạn think bạn are, having someone hiển thị genuine kindness to you, to help bạn out just because they want to, and hiển thị that bạn care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I tình yêu this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would tình yêu to see Chulip get revived as a sort of manga comic hoặc a cartoon of sorts hoặc something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and thiết kế other games later on, including being the producer of the No thêm Giải cứu thế giới games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if bạn can help it. And for the tình yêu of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell bạn if bạn should play this game hoặc not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
