After bạn cut off a vehicle, give a "Thanks-for-letting-me-in" wave and nod to the other driver.
Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
Drive closely behind speeding ambulances and ngọn lửa, chữa cháy trucks so bạn get ahead of everyone who pulls over to let them pass.
Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
If another driver honks at you, ignore it, continue to do exactly what bạn are doing, and give him a dirty look.
If another driver is courteous enough to let bạn in front of him/her, hiển thị your appreciation bởi letting the entire world in front of you, including máy kéo trailers and construction vehicles.
If for some reason bạn had to pull over on the shoulder, wait until a car is approaching to pull back onto the road.
If the driver behind bạn is honking and flashing his headlights because he is in some sort of an emergency rush, do NOT pull over to let him pass.
If bạn are driving fast, stick one arm out the window, twist your hand back and forth, and pretend to be an airplane as the wind lifts your arm.
If bạn are on vacation and bạn see any sort of wildlife, stop in your lane to take a lot of pictures.
If bạn get Mất tích while driving, the best place to stop and get your bearings is at a green light.
If bạn have a car phone, use it as much as possible. If bạn have no one to call, hold the phone up to your ear and pretend.
If bạn need to stop to ask for directions, wait until there is a car behind bạn and stop in your lane to block traffic. Try to ask directions from either a 90 năm old local, a deaf person, an illegal alien, hoặc a child.
If bạn see a vehicle getting in your lane directly behind you, hit your brake pedal. The closer the vehicle, the harder bạn should press.
If bạn see an emergency vehicle traveling on the opposite side of a concrete divider, stop abruptly.
If your vehicle is capable of spinning its tires on dry roads, take advantage of this. Make as much black smoke as possible.
Keep your brake light blinking bởi keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.
Maintain flex-time at work so that bạn can drive around leisurely when others are rushing to get to work on time.
Make sure bạn have at least one of the following bumper stickers:
"I may be slow but I'm ahead of you"
"If bạn don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk"
"If bạn can read this, you're too close"
"I'd rather be skiing"
"I brake for no apparent reason"
On multi-laned roads, always drive at the same speed as the vehicle tiếp theo to you. Try to "box" in drivers behind you, who are attempting to pass.
Slow down drastically for every little bump in the road.
Swerve into the opposite lanes to avoid hitting roadside obstacles... like Styrofoam cups and Twinkie wrappers.
Use your driving time as an opportunity to have an intimate encounter with your significant other.
When approaching a curve in the road, slow down as if the road is ENDING.
When approaching a yield sign, either accelerate without looking hoặc come to a full and complete stop.
When drivers ahead of bạn pull over to let emergency vehicles pass, accelerate so that they can not merge back into traffic.
When driving at a slower speed, stay in the left-most lane.
When driving in a lane that is going to end because of construction, ignore all the "LANE CLOSED - MERGE AHEAD" signs. Then wait until the last một giây and cut off the other drivers that had the common sense to switch lanes earlier.
When driving in heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic, always drive with at least 10 car lengths in front of you.
When having another vehicle follow bạn to where ever bạn are going, and a third car merges between you, drive 5 miles an giờ just to make sure that your followers (who are 2 cars behind) can see you.
When picking up a passenger during the early morning hoặc late night, in a residential neighborhood, stop in front of the house and honk the horn. Either a series of long honks hoặc in a melody of a song such as "Shave and a haircut" is appropriate.
When there's traffic behind you, always drive 8-20 MPH below the đã đăng limit.
Whenever possible, cut off other drivers and slow down.
Whenever bạn see a police car, even parked, slam on the brakes and drive 15-20 MPH slower than the speed limit.
While listening to your yêu thích song, let other drivers on the road know that your listing to your yêu thích song. The best way to do this is, is to steer the car with your knee, pretend to be holding a pair of drum sticks, and start beating away at the steering wheel and rear-view mirror. While the whole time bobbing your head all over the place.
While traveling down residential streets, drive 2 MPH and look at all the houses and landscaping. In fact, look everywhere except out the front windshield.
Women are encouraged to put on their make-up while driving.
bạn always have the right of way.
Your car stereo should be blasting âm nhạc at approximately 900,000 dB.
Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
Drive closely behind speeding ambulances and ngọn lửa, chữa cháy trucks so bạn get ahead of everyone who pulls over to let them pass.
Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
If another driver honks at you, ignore it, continue to do exactly what bạn are doing, and give him a dirty look.
If another driver is courteous enough to let bạn in front of him/her, hiển thị your appreciation bởi letting the entire world in front of you, including máy kéo trailers and construction vehicles.
If for some reason bạn had to pull over on the shoulder, wait until a car is approaching to pull back onto the road.
If the driver behind bạn is honking and flashing his headlights because he is in some sort of an emergency rush, do NOT pull over to let him pass.
If bạn are driving fast, stick one arm out the window, twist your hand back and forth, and pretend to be an airplane as the wind lifts your arm.
If bạn are on vacation and bạn see any sort of wildlife, stop in your lane to take a lot of pictures.
If bạn get Mất tích while driving, the best place to stop and get your bearings is at a green light.
If bạn have a car phone, use it as much as possible. If bạn have no one to call, hold the phone up to your ear and pretend.
If bạn need to stop to ask for directions, wait until there is a car behind bạn and stop in your lane to block traffic. Try to ask directions from either a 90 năm old local, a deaf person, an illegal alien, hoặc a child.
If bạn see a vehicle getting in your lane directly behind you, hit your brake pedal. The closer the vehicle, the harder bạn should press.
If bạn see an emergency vehicle traveling on the opposite side of a concrete divider, stop abruptly.
If your vehicle is capable of spinning its tires on dry roads, take advantage of this. Make as much black smoke as possible.
Keep your brake light blinking bởi keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.
Maintain flex-time at work so that bạn can drive around leisurely when others are rushing to get to work on time.
Make sure bạn have at least one of the following bumper stickers:
"I may be slow but I'm ahead of you"
"If bạn don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk"
"If bạn can read this, you're too close"
"I'd rather be skiing"
"I brake for no apparent reason"
On multi-laned roads, always drive at the same speed as the vehicle tiếp theo to you. Try to "box" in drivers behind you, who are attempting to pass.
Slow down drastically for every little bump in the road.
Swerve into the opposite lanes to avoid hitting roadside obstacles... like Styrofoam cups and Twinkie wrappers.
Use your driving time as an opportunity to have an intimate encounter with your significant other.
When approaching a curve in the road, slow down as if the road is ENDING.
When approaching a yield sign, either accelerate without looking hoặc come to a full and complete stop.
When drivers ahead of bạn pull over to let emergency vehicles pass, accelerate so that they can not merge back into traffic.
When driving at a slower speed, stay in the left-most lane.
When driving in a lane that is going to end because of construction, ignore all the "LANE CLOSED - MERGE AHEAD" signs. Then wait until the last một giây and cut off the other drivers that had the common sense to switch lanes earlier.
When driving in heavy bumper-to-bumper traffic, always drive with at least 10 car lengths in front of you.
When having another vehicle follow bạn to where ever bạn are going, and a third car merges between you, drive 5 miles an giờ just to make sure that your followers (who are 2 cars behind) can see you.
When picking up a passenger during the early morning hoặc late night, in a residential neighborhood, stop in front of the house and honk the horn. Either a series of long honks hoặc in a melody of a song such as "Shave and a haircut" is appropriate.
When there's traffic behind you, always drive 8-20 MPH below the đã đăng limit.
Whenever possible, cut off other drivers and slow down.
Whenever bạn see a police car, even parked, slam on the brakes and drive 15-20 MPH slower than the speed limit.
While listening to your yêu thích song, let other drivers on the road know that your listing to your yêu thích song. The best way to do this is, is to steer the car with your knee, pretend to be holding a pair of drum sticks, and start beating away at the steering wheel and rear-view mirror. While the whole time bobbing your head all over the place.
While traveling down residential streets, drive 2 MPH and look at all the houses and landscaping. In fact, look everywhere except out the front windshield.
Women are encouraged to put on their make-up while driving.
bạn always have the right of way.
Your car stereo should be blasting âm nhạc at approximately 900,000 dB.
"Do bạn hear that?"Alicia asked."What?"Henry and Sarah asked."That,that,that sound.It's like."Alicia banged the floor."No.I don't hear anything."Said Sarah."Come here."Alicia said.
They got out.
Alicia beckoned them.
"There!It's getting louder!"
The banging continued.
Alicia found herself in the woods.
She stopped.
Henry and Sarah caught up to her.
Alicia covered her mouth.
"What.Is.I-i-it?"Alicia asked.
Down the steep hill.Was a door the door was buried in the ground.under leaves.
The three Những người bạn stepped down.The noise grew louder.Henry and Sarah could hear it now.
Alicia was down first.She saw a keyhole.Alicia looked for the key.
"ALICIA!"Sarah said.
Alicia looked down,stopped her foot from going down,And backed up.A blood puddle.
"Oh my go-"
"The key!It's in the blood!"Henry said.
"Ew!I'm not picking it up!"Alicia said.
Sarah looked around and pushed Henry forward.
Henry picked up the key,And put it in the keyhole...
They got out.
Alicia beckoned them.
"There!It's getting louder!"
The banging continued.
Alicia found herself in the woods.
She stopped.
Henry and Sarah caught up to her.
Alicia covered her mouth.
"What.Is.I-i-it?"Alicia asked.
Down the steep hill.Was a door the door was buried in the ground.under leaves.
The three Những người bạn stepped down.The noise grew louder.Henry and Sarah could hear it now.
Alicia was down first.She saw a keyhole.Alicia looked for the key.
"ALICIA!"Sarah said.
Alicia looked down,stopped her foot from going down,And backed up.A blood puddle.
"Oh my go-"
"The key!It's in the blood!"Henry said.
"Ew!I'm not picking it up!"Alicia said.
Sarah looked around and pushed Henry forward.
Henry picked up the key,And put it in the keyhole...
2. Troll. If bạn troll, bạn will be banned in 10 giây flat and nobody will feel sorry for bạn when bạn whine about your old account being banned.
3. Speak 1337. if u t4lk li3k d3s, nobody will take bạn seriously.
4. Talk trash about Hetalia. I don't like Hetalia, but I don't talk trash about it. The fangirls will rape bạn with hate if bạn say rude things.
5. Be anything like dudelol17.
Taylor:*Wakes up*LIZZIE!*panting*
Lizzie:Taylor!Taylor,Calm down.
Taylor's P.O.V:
I looked around and saw Charm,Amber,Amy,and Lizzie.
Taylor:What?Wait what happened??
Amy:You were outside,Had scratches on your arm,so we drove bạn to the hospital.
I looked at my arm,A scratch ran down my arm,My eyes got huge.
Lizzie:It's okay!You're okay!
Then Amber turned on the TV.
Lady on news:Today Johnathan Jonesmen was arrested for murdering his wife.And today,his 3 daughters are in a orphanage.And his oldest daughter,Taylor is in the hospital.
I started to get dizzy.I almost dozed off when.
Lizzie:Taylor,Here *hand a bracelet*
The Bracelet had five rhinestones, and 5 charms.One had a little girl dancing,The một giây one was a key,The third one had a tim, trái tim lock,The fourth one had a lock,The fifth one had Locket,I opened it up.I saw a bức ảnh of Me and Lizzie.
Lizzie:Taylor!Taylor,Calm down.
Taylor's P.O.V:
I looked around and saw Charm,Amber,Amy,and Lizzie.
Taylor:What?Wait what happened??
Amy:You were outside,Had scratches on your arm,so we drove bạn to the hospital.
I looked at my arm,A scratch ran down my arm,My eyes got huge.
Lizzie:It's okay!You're okay!
Then Amber turned on the TV.
Lady on news:Today Johnathan Jonesmen was arrested for murdering his wife.And today,his 3 daughters are in a orphanage.And his oldest daughter,Taylor is in the hospital.
I started to get dizzy.I almost dozed off when.
Lizzie:Taylor,Here *hand a bracelet*
The Bracelet had five rhinestones, and 5 charms.One had a little girl dancing,The một giây one was a key,The third one had a tim, trái tim lock,The fourth one had a lock,The fifth one had Locket,I opened it up.I saw a bức ảnh of Me and Lizzie.
There once lived a 10 năm old girl named,Scarlett.
Her family lived in a Big,HUGE,Mansion.
S:Mom!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!
M:If I say Fine,will bạn stop?
S:YES!!!
M:Yes.
S:(Hugs mom)THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!WOO HO!!
Scarlett ran up to call her 3 friends,Nancy,Penny,and Chloe.
S:(Calls)SHE đã đưa ý kiến YES!!!
Then her brother,Ethan,Came in,holding a bag of chips.
E:SHUT UP,SCARLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S:SHHHHUUUUTT UUUUPPP!!!
Then he stomped out.
M:Scarlett!I just remembered!I have to work tomorrow!
S:So?We're responsible,Mom!Besides,(mumbles)Ethan...is....(gulp,pretends to barf)Responsible.
M:Um...I don't know
S:Don't make me say it...AGAIN!
M:Fine!!But bạn have to help me with the groceries!
S:(Makes face)Fine!Last deal!
M:Come on!
--------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED!
Her family lived in a Big,HUGE,Mansion.
S:Mom!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!
M:If I say Fine,will bạn stop?
S:YES!!!
M:Yes.
S:(Hugs mom)THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!WOO HO!!
Scarlett ran up to call her 3 friends,Nancy,Penny,and Chloe.
S:(Calls)SHE đã đưa ý kiến YES!!!
Then her brother,Ethan,Came in,holding a bag of chips.
E:SHUT UP,SCARLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S:SHHHHUUUUTT UUUUPPP!!!
Then he stomped out.
M:Scarlett!I just remembered!I have to work tomorrow!
S:So?We're responsible,Mom!Besides,(mumbles)Ethan...is....(gulp,pretends to barf)Responsible.
M:Um...I don't know
S:Don't make me say it...AGAIN!
M:Fine!!But bạn have to help me with the groceries!
S:(Makes face)Fine!Last deal!
M:Come on!
--------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED!
Teacher:Okay Suzi go to the map and find North America.
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If bạn were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was tiếp theo to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put kẹo in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
kẹo Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i tình yêu these!),a lot thêm too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!
BYE GUTS AND GURLS!
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If bạn were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was tiếp theo to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put kẹo in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
kẹo Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i tình yêu these!),a lot thêm too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!
BYE GUTS AND GURLS!
Ashley:Okay,lets see there's,a four năm old Amber,
A 12 năm old Kennedy,A 5 năm old Harper,And then there's 9 năm old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her búp bê back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do bạn want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ for half a minute.
*Ten phút later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do bạn know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked bạn as the Babysitter cause bạn have 7 siblings and bạn all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
A 12 năm old Kennedy,A 5 năm old Harper,And then there's 9 năm old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her búp bê back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do bạn want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ for half a minute.
*Ten phút later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do bạn know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked bạn as the Babysitter cause bạn have 7 siblings and bạn all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!