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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The tiếp theo time bạn and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a phiếu bầu to see which of bạn successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with bạn - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever bạn have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If bạn were really looking for an honest answer, bạn wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The tiếp theo time bạn make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused bởi rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do bạn and your Những người bạn keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if bạn look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' yêu thích outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If bạn must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then bạn never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know bạn can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises hoặc promotions were gained bởi arm wrestling the boss.
If bạn don't read this, someone else wil
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posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEELL!
HIA EVERYBODY!
I'm your host InvaderCalliope!
Well i'm going to sing! *sings*
WELL AS bạn KNOW I GET TONS AND TONS OF người hâm mộ LETTERS! NOW I WILL READ ONE TO YOU!
The Letter reads:Big hello to InvaderCalliope on this hiển thị i allways see a new guest ngôi sao so i was wondering how do bạn do it?
bạn WANNA KNOW BECAUSE ITS AN HONOR TO BE ON THIS hiển thị BEING ON THIS hiển thị AS ME AS THE HOST!
Well todays guest ngôi sao is..............KEEF!
Keef:HI EVERYONE I HOPE ZIM AND DIB ARE WATCHING THERE MY BEST FRIENDS!
InvaderCalliope:You know your Những người bạn are going to think your pathetic.
Keef:WHAT!
InvaderCalliope:You herd me if bạn make them know your there whole world there going to use you!
OH NO WERE OUTTA TIME!
WELL BYE!
BUT FIRST PLZ ENJOY TODAYS SPECAIL PICTURE!
BYE ME!
*music*
Nazonazo mitai ni
chikyuugi wo tokiakashitara
Minna de doko made mo ikeru ne
*music*
Wakuwaku shitai to negainagara sugoshiteta yo
Kanaetekureta no wa dare nano?
Jikan no hate made boooon!!
Wa-pu de ru-pu
na kono omoi wa
Nani mo kamo wo makikonda souzou de asobou
Aru hareta hi no koto
Mahou ijou no yukai
ga
Kagirinaku furisosogu fukanou janai wa
*music*
Ashita mata au toki warai nagara hamingu
Ureshisa wo atsumeyou
Kantan nanda yo
konna no
Oikakete ne tsukamaete mite
Ooki na yume
yume suki deshou?
*music*
Iroiro yosou ga
dekisou de dekinai
mirai
Some demo hitotsu
dake wakaru yo
*music*
Kirakira hikatte atsui
kumo...
continue reading...
posted by TDItwin
here is something funny to try get 2 of your freinds together and put on this ngẫu nhiên ninger play (sorry if i offend bạn i herd this some were and its been in my mind for a tháng so i thought td post it here)

sioki:saska saska are bạn in there this is your consious speaking ...moo..live with it!

saska:sorry being an emo makes it hard to concentrat on ninger traing

sapa:i know what bạn mean every bodys always telling me to...

sioki:SHUT UP sapa we all have arational hate for bạn !!

sapa:what i havent done enything yet??

sioki:we still hate bạn !!

sapa: dose saska hate me too?

sioki:no hes an emo he has no emotins except for the one that is emo ...GOD WHY DO bạn EXSIST?!?!

sapa:what the i havent done enything to deserve this kind of treatment

sioki:STOP EXISTING!!

saska:*starts beatboxing*

saps+sioki:*join in*
this gose on for 5 giây till bạn all cry total ninger theme song
 look at them
look at them
posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on Facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I Mất tích my phone, can bạn call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!...
continue reading...
50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time bạn turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him hoặc her that you’ve Mất tích your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he hoặc she has anything...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the lò nướng on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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NOTE: These "facts" have not necessarily been verified. They are just for fun.

1.If bạn keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

2.San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.

3.Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical cá stores.

4.A Wisconsin xe nâng, xe nâng hàng operator for a Miller bia distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper hiển thị him drinking a Bud Light.

5.More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million).

6.For every person on earth, there are an estimated...
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72 things Guys should know about Girls <3...


1. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

2. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.

3. When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her.

4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her bạn tình yêu her.

5. Call her before bạn sleep and after bạn wake up

6. Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

7. Tease her and let her tease bạn back.

8. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

9. Watch her yêu thích movie with her hoặc her yêu thích hiển thị even if bạn think its stupid.

10. Give her the world.

11. Let her wear your clothes....
continue reading...
1. Guys may be flirting around all ngày but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

5. bạn have to tell a guy what bạn really want before he gets the message clearly.

6. Guys tình yêu their moms hoặc grandmas.

7. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

8. bạn can never understand him unless bạn listen to him.

9. Beware. Guys can make gossips...
continue reading...
added by emma-janee
added by deedeeflower
Source: panoramio.com