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a joke here

a skeleton is walking down the street. a thief speaks to the skeleton: "money hoặc life!"
the skeleton: "take what bạn find"

^.^ it may be stupid but i tình yêu it

One ngày little Johnny went 2 school, and his homework was to find the first 4 lettrs of the alphabet. So he goes trang chủ & asks his mom, "wuts da 1st lettr of the alphabet?" & she says "bequiet!" so he rites it down. Then he goes 2 his sister & asks her da same thing, but shes listening 2 âm nhạc & sez "oh yeah!" so he rites it down. den he goez 2 his bro & asks HIM, but hez watchin TV & sez "nananana BATMAN! nananana BATMAN!" so he rites it down. Then he asks his dad, but hes takin out the trash singin "in the garbage" so he rites it down.

then his teacher asks johnny, "what the 4 lettrs of da alphabet?"-"bequiet!" 'wannaa go 2 the principals office?'-"oh yeah!" so there he is wit da principal, 'who do u think u r?!'-"nananana Batman!nananana Batman!"-'im calling your parents! where do u liv?!'-"in the garbage" haha. XD

Dust came out from a man's mouth because he told an old joke xd

A man and woman are in a court getting divorced and were fighting over the custody of the child. The mom tells the judge, "I gave birth to the child as well as took care of him, while the dad did nothing". Since the dad really did not do anything for the kid, the only thing he could tell the judge is, "If bạn put a coin in a kẹo machine, is the kẹo yours hoặc the kẹo machine's?".
It might be hard for some of bạn to understand it. So, here's the hint- 'Think the bad way!'

Two turtles went camping for the weekend and they took some bia and sandwiches for when they got there. The only trouble was,the campsite was a weeks trip away. So the turtles set off with their bia and sandwiches,and a week later,they arrived at the campsite. Sitting down for a rest,one of the turtles suddenly says "Oh no! We've forgotten the bia opener!" The other one says "We can't have sandwiches without beer! You'd better go back and get it." The other replies,"No way! If I go back and leave bạn here,you'll eat the sandwiches without me!" The first one says "I promise I won't,now just go back and get it." So the other rùa, con rùa trudges off. 2 weeks later,the first rùa, con rùa is starving hungry and the only thing he has to eat is the sandwiches. He opens the basket to take one out when the other rùa, con rùa jumps out from behind a rock and shouts "I KNEW IT! I'M NOT ****ING GOING!"

I'm not afraid of the cops in Santa Ana, there on bicycles. I mean, how intimidating is this: "Alright Buddy, pull it over" *chine chine* *honk honk*? What do they do when they arrest somebody?: "alright, in the basket."

Inb4AmeliaBediliaresponse.

Q-If ur state is a áo khoác were would da black ppl be (not 2 be mean if u are 1 n not 2 b racies)
A-in da mui xe

docter docter i think im blind

i do to bạn came in through the window

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Only two. The hard part is getting them in the lightbulb

Q: How can bạn tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: bạn can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If bạn are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and bạn have a gun with only two bullets, what do bạn do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do bạn call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can bạn tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do bạn have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was được trao to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog đã đưa ý kiến in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Ok so There r 2 Zebras 1 ngựa rằn, ngựa vằn Says "i dont know if im Whit With blk Strips, hoặc blk With Whit Strips.The Other ngựa rằn, ngựa vằn Says Y dont u Ask god. So The frist ngựa rằn, ngựa vằn Asked God Th Same Question. God đã đưa ý kiến u are Wat u Are. He Gose bakk The một giây ngựa rằn, ngựa vằn Says "Wat Did he say" The frist ngựa rằn, ngựa vằn Replied "he đã đưa ý kiến U r Wat u r" The một giây ngựa rằn, ngựa vằn sad " u r White Wit Blk Strips hoặc God Woulda đã đưa ý kiến U iz Wat U iz" Lol

KK...

Q: How do bạn get Lady Gaga pissed at you?

A: bạn poke her face (Poker Face)!!!