bạn Know What's Bulls**t

Stand on hàng đầu, đầu trang of the high board and say bạn won't come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because bạn have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend bạn can't swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....".
Sit on the hàng đầu, đầu trang of the water slide and don't move.
Swim near a stranger and say,...

I found this one on the internet:

Why did the chicken vượt qua, cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to vượt qua, cross the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because...

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up bởi hát bờ biển, bãi biển Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say bạn taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....

Tell me if u think this is funny hoặc not i just want to know. I got bored so i wrote this:

RANDOM GUY AND FORTUNE COOKIE!!!!


Cookie:Would bạn like to hear your fortune?


Random guy: Uhh sure I guess?


Cookie: Good *cookie stays silent*


Random guy: Uh bạn gonna tell me my fortune?


Cookie:*comes back down to earth* What?


Random guy: bạn gonna tell me my fortune hoặc what?!?!?


Cookie:Why the hell would I tell bạn your fortune?


Random guy: bạn đã đưa ý kiến bạn WOULD!!!!


Cookie:Well have bạn been smoking anything lately, cause clearly I am a cookie and bánh quy, cookie don't talk nor tell people fortunes.


Random guy:0.o But you...

Hello fellow ngẫu nhiên fanpopers,
i am writting this to inform bạn that a certain new fanpoper with the tên người dùng of ajl has recently claimed she created this spot. She created a câu hỏi saying that she was the creator of the spot and she created a diễn đàn saying that she was the creator and we should respect her wishes and not post twilight stuff. Now bạn will not be able to find these two contributions why bạn ask well because when me and BellaCullen96 questioned her about being the spot creator she deleted both. but if bạn want proof that she đã đưa ý kiến this check out this forum
link
Now bạn may ask...

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have được trao us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We tình yêu to be held, talked too but if bạn press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very Công chúa tóc xù generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen...

GOD HATES ME

Chapter 1

        God Hates Me.
-ate some fries.
-Went to bed.

Chapter 2

        I am in a better mood today because I did my prayers and God spoke to me and he promised to put me in a group with my friends.
God Loves Me.

Chapter 3

        God must die! He is being so unreasonable!!! I asked him to put me in a group with my Những người bạn but does he listen??! No! God is a bitch!
-I'm an emo from now on
-Went to bed

Chapter 4

        God...

Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I tình yêu the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your tim, trái tim beat
Is my yêu thích lullaby.

Month Two.

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If bạn could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my trang chủ though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three.

You know what Mommy,
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes bạn happy.
I always want bạn to be happy.
I don't like it when bạn cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with bạn even though
You can't hear...

Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie™ features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature's hàng đầu, đầu trang superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body's tổng thể health.

The Premier Açai Blend™
MonaVie's delicious blend of body-beneficial fruits is designed to nourish your body with powerful antioxidants and...

Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to di chuyển on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When bạn leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe bạn embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...

-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down thuyền in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...