Real life Luigi. XD

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a vòng tròn that had its two sides gently compressed bởi a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...

link

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╞╟╚╔╩╦ ╠═ ╬╧╨╤ ╥╙╘╒╓ ╫╪┘┌
{｡^◕‿◕^｡} (◕^^◕) ✖✗✘♒♬✄ ✂✆✉✦✧♱ ♰♂♀☿❤❥ ❦❧ ™®©♡♦ ♢♔♕♚♛★ ☆✮ ✯☄☾☽ ☼☀☁☂☃☻ ☺☹ ☮۞۩ εїз☎☏¢ ☚☛☜☝☞☟✍
✌☢☣☠☮☯ ♠♤♣♧♥ ♨๑❀✿ ψ☪☭♪ ♩♫℘ℑ ℜℵ♏ηα ʊϟღツ回...

I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall tường and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 giây and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....

This is A TRUE STORY AND IF bạn DON'T PASS THIS ON bạn DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All ngày long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...

Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für den Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...

***Lol this was probably a lot funnier to the drunk people who wrote it at three in the morning but.... here bạn go xD

Or if you'd just rather check it out on youtube:
link

I wanna be a grizzly bear, so beary bad
Stealin' honey from bees just to make them mad
I wanna live in the forest with, Booboo and Yogi
So we can steal picnic baskets as three

Oh every time I close my eyes...
I see the back of my eyelids
And I bet bạn didn't know this
I swear, the world is unprepared for when I'm a Grizzly bear

Yeah I would climb trees like bears do
And probably attack you, not an every day
Hike in the forest
I'd probably...

25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .


"If bạn don't straighten up, I'm going to knock bạn into the middle of tiếp theo week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I đã đưa ý kiến so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me thêm LOGIC .


"If bạn fall out of that lung lay, swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure...

MonaVie
Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature’s hàng đầu, đầu trang superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body’s tổng thể health.

Offers potent antioxidant protection against free radicals.
Features a wide array of nutrients for optimal health.
Delivers the antioxidant...

A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of kẹo per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each năm on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix thực phẩm to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...

chapter 1 discovery

"what should we do today Teki?" Kiely asked her tiny dog. Knowing that the dog couldn't posibly respond in any other way than wagging her tail hoặc bark and that is exactly what the dog did.
Kiely sat tiếp theo to her chihuahua and ran her hand down her back feeling her soft black and brown fur."your a good baby girl" she crooned at the little puppy.
"Lets go to the park and then we could go to fred's,"Kiely finally desided Teki was still wagging her tail. Kiely made her way to the bathroom to freshen up and take a shower. She got out of the vòi hoa sen and headed toward the mirror to...