:D

[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits tiếp theo Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have bạn tried hiển thị him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed bởi funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like bạn - very homosexually.
Contributed bởi funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - cá Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...

Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first ngày of 7th grade I was so excited to see my Những người bạn after summer yay. Well the first ngày of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my Những người bạn Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m trang chủ and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She đã đưa ý kiến “I might come back to page tiếp theo semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...

EMOTICONS Happy‏
^o^ ☺ ☻ ت ヅ ^.^ ツ ッ シ Ü ≧◡≦ ᵔᴥᵔ ^^ (°⌣°)
٩(^‿^)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃) ◕‿◕ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶ =^.^=
(•‿•) ó‿ó ¢‿¢ ٩◔‿◔۶ ಠ◡ಠ ༺‿༻ (^L^)
♥‿♥ ◙‿◙ ●‿● ^( '‿' )^ ^‿^ ❀‿❀ 乂◜◬◝乂
{◕ ◡ ◕} (｡◕‿◕｡) ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ (▰˘◡˘▰)
< (^^,) > q(❂‿❂)p <【☯】‿【☯】> |◔◡◉| ⊂◉‿◉つ
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ ۹⌤_⌤۹ ⎝⎲⏝⏝⎲⎠ ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
⎝ᄽ⏝⏠⎠...

France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! bạn call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! bạn DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All bạn are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has thêm dick! I have an army of Red Coats! bạn have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so bạn guy will need a babysitter!


*10 phút later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 phút later*
Amber:I wuv trà parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are bạn doing?
Amber:Having a trà party!
Ashley:Can I...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President hoặc Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a năm plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

This con vịt, vịt walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do bạn have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the con vịt, vịt leaves.

The tiếp theo day, the con vịt, vịt returns and asks, "Do bạn have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the con vịt, vịt leaves.

The ngày after that, the con vịt, vịt walks in the store again and asks "Do bạn have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told bạn no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if bạn come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Every ngày at school is the same
2. bạn never know if your braids look digusting hoặc not
3. bạn are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. bạn would like to think that people notice hoặc even think about bạn but bạn are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows hoặc cares about
5. bạn worry people will write nasty các bình luận on your fanpop bài viết that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all bạn do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When bạn only really have like 3 Những người bạn at school and 2 of them...

The hiển thị SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The hiển thị SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed bởi a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine phút of the hiển thị may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob hoặc Caillou, in which hình ảnh change thêm slowly, hoặc to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

I'm putting two funny các bài viết together in one, hope bạn enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I tình yêu deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would bạn know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what bạn need, and I'll tell you...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy chịu, gấu on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some thực phẩm while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the phòng bếp, nhà bếp was when Tina got trang chủ she saw what the phòng bếp, nhà bếp was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their trang chủ the Teddy chịu, gấu was hiding in the phòng bếp, nhà bếp cupboard as it chuckled...

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 một phút power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course bạn sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the hàng đầu, đầu trang off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are bạn discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, một giây i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her thắt lưng, vành đai serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got trang chủ my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started đọc it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 một giây later i hear my mother scream off the hàng đầu, đầu trang of her lungs LILLY GET bạn BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she đã đưa ý kiến uuummm my homework...

..... ngẫu nhiên Facts .....

If bạn have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, bạn have $1.19. bạn also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest ngẫu nhiên speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids bởi their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....