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posted by ilovepenguins
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim bạn are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe bạn but DONT give up, see how far bạn can get ( WARNING, may result in bạn being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when bạn are the only one laughing.

4. when the plane is still on the ground, Rock back and forth in your ghế, chỗ ngồi and say aloud "THIS TURBULANCE SURE IS ROUGH!!"

5. Wear rags and a headscarf, claim that your name is Svetolafoson Frojhkyhkjuhjdj and that bạn are being deported back to Estonia, look pleased when your told that this plane is not going there. say "Really?!, u haf not met me if zey ask zen, ok?!"

6. As the plane is landing, adopt the 'Duck and Cover' position as bạn scream "WE ARE GOING TO CRASH! ONLY DEATH AWAITS US ALL NOW! DEATH I TELLS YA!!!!" when bạn land safely, stand up and leave the plane normally, thank the stewardess for a lovely flight.

7. Go in to the toilet and make loud vomiting noises, keep going for a few minutes, then come out and announce to the plane that the toilet is blocked, act like its not your fault.

8. Stand up and ask the passengers if anyone " wants to tham gia the mile high club with you?" wink suggestively at various people...of both sexes.

9. Get the pilot to hiển thị bạn round the cockpit, come out afterwards and say "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGH HE COULD FLY THE PLANE AFTER SO MUCH rượu vodka, vodka BUT IT JUST SHOWS, THEY REALLY ARE TRUE PROFESIONALS!".

10. Delight your fellow passengers with your impression of a plane crashing in to the sea, complete with sound effects.

11. Enthrall your companions on the plane bởi telling them that bạn knew the pilot of Buddy Holly's plane and you're pretty sure he trained at the same place as your current pilot.

12. Give a fact filled guide of the area bạn are flying over, this can include " And if bạn look to your right bạn will see the wreckage of our sister plane, after she was shot at and subsequently crashed in to that mountain side which, as bạn can see, her burnt out hull remains embedded in, the bodies were never found.'

13. Streak.

14. Occasionally scream........loudly.

15. Get up and announce that bạn are going to hi-jack the plane, make to get out a gun, but act like its not there, check all your pockets and then say " OH CRAP, I MUST HAVE LEFT IT IN THE OTHER COAT, OK, NEVER MIND!" Sit down like nothing has happened.

16. From the một giây bạn take off, every ten giây say in the same voice "are we there yet?"

17. Keep sniffing around and eventually say in a loud voice "CAN bạn SMELL BURNING?"

18. Go to the cockpit, wait a few second, then come back and say in a loud voice, "UMM SHOULD'NT THERE BE...LIKE....A PILOT?"

19. When your on a small, ten person plane, Inform everyone that bạn used to be an aerodynamic engineer and this plane is VERY badly built.

20. As bạn get of the plane, look worried and announce loudly" VAIT A MINUTE, VOT IZ ZIS PLACE?! ZIS IZ NOT POLAND, VERE ZE HELL IZ ZIS?!?!?!?"

21. If you're flying first class, make sure to sit behind someone. When that person is sleeping, grap your motion sickness bag and vomit in it. After bạn do that, hold the bag in the air and then pop it on the person. See what happens......
posted by kinga10111
A person can not fold a normal size piece of paper in half thêm than 8 times.



There are just over 300 million cell phones used daily in the United States alone.



A shrimps tim, trái tim is in it’s head.



Kissing is actually healthier than shaking someones hand.




Natural pearls will melt in vinegar.



An ôliu, ô liu cây can live up to 1500 years.



Cleopatra married two of her brothers.



Ants can’t shut their eyes.




On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building looks like an American flag.



Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, while women shirts have the buttons on the left.



Chewing...
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50 ngẫu nhiên các câu hỏi people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will bạn marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The ngày came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing bạn know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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1.His cell phone number (picture this bạn are on a ngày with him and she calls to ask wat time will she be home)

2.His parents-(If your mom knows his parents then be prepared to see sum embarrasing pics,of yuor boyfriend)

3. If he is a virgin!! (ppicture this your up in your room with him and she pops in when yall r about to Kiss and she freaks out)

4.His ex-girlfriends (if your mom knows ur boyfriend's ex girlfriends then be prepared to hear what did, tthis girl havetht my daughter didnt)

5.What his style is (your out with ur bf and mom and bạn turn the corner and she yells OH LOOK A THOOSE SEXY...
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 X(
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I bet I know what some of bạn are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat hoặc what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two phút when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my ipod hoặc laptop for a week if I left it open again. hoặc when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the tiếp theo table.
Turn around every thirty-seven giây to the people at the tiếp theo bàn and ask them if your ghế, chỗ ngồi is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever bạn see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their bàn and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time bạn take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the bàn itself; and make sure to make...
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added by tanyya
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added by ShadowFan100
The tiêu đề says it all, really. So I just want to start this all off bởi apologizing to like..... The three of bạn that probably were đọc this. Cultober II was something I had planned since last year. I reviewed 31 horror phim chiếu rạp last năm and really wanted to do the same this year. However, I don't have the same free time I did a năm ago. With work and other projects being in the way, as well as playing indie games for In-Indie, I have no time to review 31 films. I had hoped that limiting it to 16 would help... and then I limited it to 10. And even then it wasn't going to do any good. So...
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added by SilentForce
added by SilentForce
added by MeiMisty
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