-If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty
like that's gonna happen
-It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt
now ya tell me!
-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up
can u say hypocrites?
-If at first bạn don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
that reminds of this one chick
-You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me
they like me better! they like me better!
-My imaginary friend thinks bạn have some serious problems
you're really freaking him out
-When bạn get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
he was sooo looking!
-Love comes in many colors
so does crap... ur point!
-One ngày we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
been there... never done it though
-Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to bạn is to have nothing to do with it.
but he is a great kisser!
-Give a person a cá and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother bạn for weeks!
to bad those weeks have to end
-Love your enemies! It really pisses them off!
it's really fun when they're mad!
-A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
it really does!
-I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
who does?
-The voices in my head don't like you
they're not very fond of me either
-Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas
even though some could destroy the human race
-A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
She đã đưa ý kiến the same thing!
-Some people are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
they even look like slinkies!
-If bạn were me... I'd be ugly!
at least bạn have good hair
-You can't make somebody tình yêu you. All bạn can do is stalk them and hope for the best!
i did that once! he left the country
-War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
stupid reason i might add!
-Before bạn criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
she was so pissed!
-the statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you!
DAMNIT!
-Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional
thêm people should think about that
-Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.
Satan is waiting on the other side
-You laugh now because you're older than me bởi mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
What now?!
-I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the Kỳ lân are diễn xuất all emo again
the Kỳ lân are such downers!
-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
oh Yeah!
-You're intoxicated bởi my very presence
either that hoặc it's from those 12 beers
-Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
i see nothing wrong!
-Break my tim, trái tim I break your neck
Anger Management
-Flying is easy just throw yourself at the floor and miss (Not responsible for any injuries sustained from throwing self at floor)
Owie!
-You know it's going to be a bad ngày when bạn jump out of giường and miss the floor
it really was a bad day
-Sometimes violence is the only way to get what bạn want
if that doesn't work... try seducing!
-Life isn't passing me bởi it's trying to run me over
that was close!
-I know I seem mean but it's because I don't like you
simple reasoning
-Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
well it's gonna happen eventually
-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
i soooo owned him!
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
some don't even live that long
-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
poor America
-What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
what they go through to get some
-Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
EWWWWWW!
-You cry, I cry, bạn laugh, I laugh, bạn fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
SOOOOO FUNNY!
-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
What A Party
-I don't obsess! I think intensely.
GOD! Don't Judge!
-All the good ones are either gay, married, hoặc fictional characters in sách hoặc movies.
they could get a divorce
-There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
i'm one of the counting ones!
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the súng help. If bạn stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Fair enough
-Amatures built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...
what's the big deal! They're boats!
-those who dont learn from history are doomed to repeat it
AWWW MAN!
-There's nothing wrong with taking to ngẫu nhiên objects, its when they start to talk back that bạn need to worry.
REALLY?!
-Who ever đã đưa ý kiến that words never hurt obviously has never got hit bởi a dictionary.
it hurts really bad!
-Who ever says 'as easy as taking kẹo from a baby' has never tried to.
so the ones that don't say it did?!
-I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous
feel the rush!
-yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet
that's right!
-save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.
best thực phẩm ever
- I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.
besides, whats the fun in that?
- No I won't go to hell! it has a restraining order against me
we had some relationship issues
-Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
yeah cuz that line's real original!
-when Life gives bạn lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?
not me! that's for sure!
-when Life gives bạn lemons, make giống nho, nho juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how bạn did it.
now that i can agree on!
-when Life gives bạn lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
not very much apparently
I'm not so good with the advice. can i interest bạn in a sarcastic comment?
-i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
oops! did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
- i used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out
and it's super hard to put bad in!
-I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that.
damn! why didn't u tell me sooner?!
-smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to
note: smile thêm often
- i talk to myself because my các câu trả lời are the only ones i accept!
it's going pretty well!
- therapy is expensive. popping bubble bọc is cheap... bạn decide
it's actually very affective!
-i used to see a shrink... until she đã đưa ý kiến life isn't for everyone
she was so mean!
- excuse me, have bạn seen my sanity? I think I Mất tích it
can't lose what u never had
-if ôliu, ô liu oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
awwww! poor baby!
-money can't buy happiness. it just buys everything bạn need to achieve it
true that!
-the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide
i wud too
-your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
his name is George!
-tell the truth and run
an important lesson
-if electricity comes from electrons, where do bạn think morality comes from?
i know some people like that
-Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
another very important lesson
-if everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something
NO DUH!
-education is important. school however, is another matter.
agree 100%!
-i used to be normal... until i met those freaks i call my friends
they're like a disease (jk)
-You can talk to inanimate objects, but when they talk back, bạn know somethings wrong
that happened to me once
-Don't bạn dare tell me the sky is the when there are footsteps on the moon.
think much?
-Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
NO! it stops at pluto! DUH!
-Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
UM...OUCH!
-When someone annoys bạn it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them.
that's super!
-What happens if bạn get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...i wonder...
R.I.P.
-Unfortunately, bạn can't die of a broken heart.
How do bạn know that?!
-Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over
HELLO AFTERLIFE!
-If bạn know me, chances are bạn hate me.
it's alright... cuz i hate u too
-I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away
i knew i should've gotten stronger rope
-Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
and that's their own damn fault!
-He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said, "I will tình yêu bạn until the last rose dies."
this one's actually cute
-Sometimes people run away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.
Sometimes they just runaway because
-Sometimes bạn make me so mad I wanna throw bạn in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.
who đã đưa ý kiến i was gonna save you
-"I tình yêu you" is eight letters. So is "bullshit."
i'll believe it when i see it
-People say tình yêu is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?
ever heard of a magician?
-You call me crazy, I've been called worse bởi the voices in my head.
they're sometimes really cruel
-You call me crazy like its the ultimate insult but I just stare at bạn blankly and say "So"
i'm not sure what to say
-I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every một phút of it.
it's actually quite enjoyable!
-Don't make someone a priority when they make bạn an option.
NO DUH! THAT'S SO STUPID!!
-If bạn live to be 100, I want to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
who wants to live to be that old?!
-When bạn đã đưa ý kiến bạn hated me I felt all fuzzy inside. I wonder why.
i'm guessing it's because bạn hate him too!
-Twilight made me realize... Real life is extremely boring.
that just increased my opinion
-Tu madre! Yes, bạn just got burnt in Spanish.
YES! SPANISH BURN!
-If he's dumb enough to walk away, then be smart enough to let him go.
if not... screw your head on!
-Keep on talking maybe one ngày you'll say something intelligent
Like that's gonna happen!
-When I đã đưa ý kiến "I wish bạn a life time of happiness" after bạn screwed me over I meant I was going to kill you
my cousin did that... now she's in a mental institution
-Its a funny thing when everyone at the local asylum knows your name
at least you're well-known
-Your intelligence is stupid
just like you!
-I'm a ngọn lửa, chữa cháy fighter, I'm hear to save your đít, mông, ass not Kiss it.
screw him! i'll stay in the fire!
-I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong and it wasn't even my neck
my poor grannie
-My boyfriend and I can't have a public relationship. He's afraid the town will either lock him up in the asylum and ask him what i did to make him delusional enough to like me hoặc run him out for being involved with the devil.
xin chào he asked me out!
-“Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit your đít, mông, ass down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!”
best saying ever!
-Sarcastic! Me? Never!
who would say that?!
-If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two?
i hear it's talking to inanimate objects
-I’m a cold and heartless bitch, but I’m damn good at it
can't argue with that
-Sometimes I wonder ' Why is that frisbee getting bigger' and then it hits me...
OWWWWWWWWWW! That really hurt!
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...NO!!.
if bạn don't like me, oh well. newsflash, bitch: i don't live to please you
like that's gonna happen
-It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt
now ya tell me!
-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up
can u say hypocrites?
-If at first bạn don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
that reminds of this one chick
-You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me
they like me better! they like me better!
-My imaginary friend thinks bạn have some serious problems
you're really freaking him out
-When bạn get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
he was sooo looking!
-Love comes in many colors
so does crap... ur point!
-One ngày we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
been there... never done it though
-Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to bạn is to have nothing to do with it.
but he is a great kisser!
-Give a person a cá and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother bạn for weeks!
to bad those weeks have to end
-Love your enemies! It really pisses them off!
it's really fun when they're mad!
-A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
it really does!
-I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
who does?
-The voices in my head don't like you
they're not very fond of me either
-Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas
even though some could destroy the human race
-A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
She đã đưa ý kiến the same thing!
-Some people are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
they even look like slinkies!
-If bạn were me... I'd be ugly!
at least bạn have good hair
-You can't make somebody tình yêu you. All bạn can do is stalk them and hope for the best!
i did that once! he left the country
-War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
stupid reason i might add!
-Before bạn criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
she was so pissed!
-the statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you!
DAMNIT!
-Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional
thêm people should think about that
-Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.
Satan is waiting on the other side
-You laugh now because you're older than me bởi mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
What now?!
-I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the Kỳ lân are diễn xuất all emo again
the Kỳ lân are such downers!
-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
oh Yeah!
-You're intoxicated bởi my very presence
either that hoặc it's from those 12 beers
-Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
i see nothing wrong!
-Break my tim, trái tim I break your neck
Anger Management
-Flying is easy just throw yourself at the floor and miss (Not responsible for any injuries sustained from throwing self at floor)
Owie!
-You know it's going to be a bad ngày when bạn jump out of giường and miss the floor
it really was a bad day
-Sometimes violence is the only way to get what bạn want
if that doesn't work... try seducing!
-Life isn't passing me bởi it's trying to run me over
that was close!
-I know I seem mean but it's because I don't like you
simple reasoning
-Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
well it's gonna happen eventually
-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
i soooo owned him!
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
some don't even live that long
-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
poor America
-What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
what they go through to get some
-Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
EWWWWWW!
-You cry, I cry, bạn laugh, I laugh, bạn fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
SOOOOO FUNNY!
-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
What A Party
-I don't obsess! I think intensely.
GOD! Don't Judge!
-All the good ones are either gay, married, hoặc fictional characters in sách hoặc movies.
they could get a divorce
-There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
i'm one of the counting ones!
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the súng help. If bạn stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Fair enough
-Amatures built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...
what's the big deal! They're boats!
-those who dont learn from history are doomed to repeat it
AWWW MAN!
-There's nothing wrong with taking to ngẫu nhiên objects, its when they start to talk back that bạn need to worry.
REALLY?!
-Who ever đã đưa ý kiến that words never hurt obviously has never got hit bởi a dictionary.
it hurts really bad!
-Who ever says 'as easy as taking kẹo from a baby' has never tried to.
so the ones that don't say it did?!
-I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous
feel the rush!
-yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet
that's right!
-save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.
best thực phẩm ever
- I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.
besides, whats the fun in that?
- No I won't go to hell! it has a restraining order against me
we had some relationship issues
-Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
yeah cuz that line's real original!
-when Life gives bạn lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?
not me! that's for sure!
-when Life gives bạn lemons, make giống nho, nho juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how bạn did it.
now that i can agree on!
-when Life gives bạn lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
not very much apparently
I'm not so good with the advice. can i interest bạn in a sarcastic comment?
-i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
oops! did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
- i used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out
and it's super hard to put bad in!
-I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that.
damn! why didn't u tell me sooner?!
-smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to
note: smile thêm often
- i talk to myself because my các câu trả lời are the only ones i accept!
it's going pretty well!
- therapy is expensive. popping bubble bọc is cheap... bạn decide
it's actually very affective!
-i used to see a shrink... until she đã đưa ý kiến life isn't for everyone
she was so mean!
- excuse me, have bạn seen my sanity? I think I Mất tích it
can't lose what u never had
-if ôliu, ô liu oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
awwww! poor baby!
-money can't buy happiness. it just buys everything bạn need to achieve it
true that!
-the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide
i wud too
-your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
his name is George!
-tell the truth and run
an important lesson
-if electricity comes from electrons, where do bạn think morality comes from?
i know some people like that
-Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
another very important lesson
-if everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something
NO DUH!
-education is important. school however, is another matter.
agree 100%!
-i used to be normal... until i met those freaks i call my friends
they're like a disease (jk)
-You can talk to inanimate objects, but when they talk back, bạn know somethings wrong
that happened to me once
-Don't bạn dare tell me the sky is the when there are footsteps on the moon.
think much?
-Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
NO! it stops at pluto! DUH!
-Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
UM...OUCH!
-When someone annoys bạn it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them.
that's super!
-What happens if bạn get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...i wonder...
R.I.P.
-Unfortunately, bạn can't die of a broken heart.
How do bạn know that?!
-Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over
HELLO AFTERLIFE!
-If bạn know me, chances are bạn hate me.
it's alright... cuz i hate u too
-I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away
i knew i should've gotten stronger rope
-Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
and that's their own damn fault!
-He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said, "I will tình yêu bạn until the last rose dies."
this one's actually cute
-Sometimes people run away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.
Sometimes they just runaway because
-Sometimes bạn make me so mad I wanna throw bạn in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.
who đã đưa ý kiến i was gonna save you
-"I tình yêu you" is eight letters. So is "bullshit."
i'll believe it when i see it
-People say tình yêu is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?
ever heard of a magician?
-You call me crazy, I've been called worse bởi the voices in my head.
they're sometimes really cruel
-You call me crazy like its the ultimate insult but I just stare at bạn blankly and say "So"
i'm not sure what to say
-I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every một phút of it.
it's actually quite enjoyable!
-Don't make someone a priority when they make bạn an option.
NO DUH! THAT'S SO STUPID!!
-If bạn live to be 100, I want to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
who wants to live to be that old?!
-When bạn đã đưa ý kiến bạn hated me I felt all fuzzy inside. I wonder why.
i'm guessing it's because bạn hate him too!
-Twilight made me realize... Real life is extremely boring.
that just increased my opinion
-Tu madre! Yes, bạn just got burnt in Spanish.
YES! SPANISH BURN!
-If he's dumb enough to walk away, then be smart enough to let him go.
if not... screw your head on!
-Keep on talking maybe one ngày you'll say something intelligent
Like that's gonna happen!
-When I đã đưa ý kiến "I wish bạn a life time of happiness" after bạn screwed me over I meant I was going to kill you
my cousin did that... now she's in a mental institution
-Its a funny thing when everyone at the local asylum knows your name
at least you're well-known
-Your intelligence is stupid
just like you!
-I'm a ngọn lửa, chữa cháy fighter, I'm hear to save your đít, mông, ass not Kiss it.
screw him! i'll stay in the fire!
-I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong and it wasn't even my neck
my poor grannie
-My boyfriend and I can't have a public relationship. He's afraid the town will either lock him up in the asylum and ask him what i did to make him delusional enough to like me hoặc run him out for being involved with the devil.
xin chào he asked me out!
-“Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit your đít, mông, ass down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!”
best saying ever!
-Sarcastic! Me? Never!
who would say that?!
-If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two?
i hear it's talking to inanimate objects
-I’m a cold and heartless bitch, but I’m damn good at it
can't argue with that
-Sometimes I wonder ' Why is that frisbee getting bigger' and then it hits me...
OWWWWWWWWWW! That really hurt!
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...NO!!.
if bạn don't like me, oh well. newsflash, bitch: i don't live to please you