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posted by Canada24
~Personal Information~
-Canada’s birthday is February 11th, 1994, a few days before Valentines.. Not that Valentines ngày actually MATTERS.
-His’s real name is Connor, but is sometimes called Cons bởi his friends.. His name Canada24, was originally a inside joke amongst himself, as CANADA24 is his mật khẩu for anything that EVER needed a password..
-Connor was born a christian. But he doesn't believe very much in Jesus.. Well, at least not the part about him being the son of God.. But he believes the painful death on the cross.. Humans are animals.
-Connor has both Irish blood, french blood.. Even a little American blood, witch might explain my sadistic humour, and tình yêu of violence in media.
-Connor can ONLY speak english. He knows no french words.

~Family~
-Connor's father, Eric, works for a secretive origination. Making him a legal spy. But Eric only does the computer stuff with a team he controls.
-Connor currently works under the same place, his mom, Susan, worked her whole entire life. Ciana. He tells people she does human resear
-Connor's first Xbox game ever was Resident Evil 5. He never knew the old ones, so as far as HE was concerned, this was the greatest game ever.
-Connor's first PS3 ever. Was Pirates of the Caribbean. Before, all he knew was the Gamecube, and was blown away bởi the graphics.. Sadly, looking back, the graphics of that game did NOT hold up.
-Connor hated Trevor Phillips the first time. But ironically chose "death wise". But the một giây time. Connor LOVED Trevor Phillips. But chose to kill him.
-Connor's most hated video game character is Roy Earle from LA Noire.
-Connor has played and beaten GTA 4, Max Payne 3, Call of Duty, Red Dead Redemption, La Noire, and GTA 5, thêm times than he’d like to admit.
-Connor HATED Dead Rising 1, but LOVED Dead Rising 2.
-Connor’s yêu thích Pokemon is.. Nobody. He hates that shit.
-Connor's yêu thích Grand Theft Auto characters are Johnny Klebitz, Packie McCreary, and Michael De Santa.
-Connor has played GTA 4 enough times, to know Roman's running joke of constantly asking to go bowling is complete fucking bullshit. Roman NEVER wants to go bowling.. And he's the only one that doesn't chó cái, bitch at bạn if bạn don't call him enough, so Roman is actually the BEST person to hang with..

~Opinions~
-Connor thinks foot ball is the worst sport. and never watches Super Bowls.
-Connor hates anything spicy
-Connor see’s adult chó cuter than puppies. But only if bạn trained them to be quite and full of love.
-Connor’s yêu thích youtuber is Nostaglia Critic. Even though just about EVERY movie Doug rips on, is Connor's guilty pleasure.
-Connor loves trái cam, màu da cam sodas the most.
-Connor sees himself as Hellbent from Planet Dolan.
-Connor loves Freddy Krueger thêm than Jason Voorhees.
-Connor watched Alpha and Omega, just because had Danny Glover.
-Connor finds Tara Strong a little over rated. But loves her My little Pony, and Fairy Odd Parents..
-Connor hates Sô cô la cake.
-Connor hates GAY-HATE, because a friend of his was beaten up in public for it.
-Connor thinks the Assassins Creed games stopped being cool as soon as he started playing Black Flag, and was extremely bored..
-It took Connor the một giây time of playing to realize Trevor is Canadian.

~Miscellaneous~
... Only for jokes. I'm not a violent person all..
- Stabbed a homeless man for being a homeless man.
-Shoot a baby.. Just because.
-Strangled a shark, "chuck norris" style.
-Bullies Jesus into going on the cross, cause it was better than what Connor was gonna do to him.
-Shot a drug addict he thought was a zombie.
-Shot a man while attending a rally against gun violence.
-Scared voters into voting for Trump.
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to bạn as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If bạn are the phone company, I already sent the money. If bạn are my parents, please send money. If bạn are my financial aid institution, bạn didn't lend me enough money. If bạn are my friends, bạn owe me money. If bạn are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4....
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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until bạn find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit bạn first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of bạn shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give bạn a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A chó sói, sói named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do bạn want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." các câu trả lời Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are bạn doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as...
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I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
posted by mehere
hàng đầu, đầu trang 24 Eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope bạn like this one better than the first one please leave a bình luận if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
100: CHEEECCKPOOOINT
99: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
98: táo, apple pie... hoặc Pumkin?
97: Sit on your pockets! (Well known teacher saying)
96: mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommmy mommmy mommy luis luis luis luis mama mama mama mama WHAT? hi.
95: Lawl
94: Baby turtles
93: 9000!!!!
92: Da da di da did did do do di da did di do!
91: MY POKEMON BRING ALL THE NERDS TO THE YARD AND THERE LIKE YA WANNA TRADE CARDS? DAM RIGHT! I WANNA TRADE CARDS I WILL TARDE YOU, BUT NOT MY CHARIZARD!
90: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeck POINT!
89: 88, 87, 86, 85...
84: Online daters are desprete.... they rely on the internt!
83: mama I pooped
82: c'mon!...
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posted by amutokitty
What is Vocaloid? A voice synthesizer. A Toyota Corolla endorser. An amazing group of digitized singers that bạn can download right onto your computer. My yêu thích group of singers. From vocaloid that are so well known that they become viral, like Hatsune Miku, to the ones that bạn almost never hear about, like Prima and Tonio, these singers have a wide variety of voice types, specialties, songs, and looks. I have been following Vocaloid ever since I heard little Hachune Miku sing her version of Ievan Polkka while swinging her leek, and since then I've acquired a vast knowledge of the amazing...
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"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, đã đưa ý kiến as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry âm nhạc videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford giống ngựa rừng ở mể tây cơ, mustang Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time yêu thích fast thực phẩm restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out hoặc dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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1.You abuse our tình yêu bạn lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we tình yêu him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our tình yêu is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we tình yêu be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape hoặc form.
6.Guys bạn should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with bạn (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly tình yêu we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When bạn (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by nymph_tonks
Stranger: hi


You: hi asl


Stranger: 20 m


Stranger: u?


You: 15 female


Stranger: nice to meet you!


You: GO GO POWER RANGERS!


Stranger: yeah!


Stranger: what are bạn up to?


You: ther was this lady earlier who told me i shouldnt be on the internet at 15.


Stranger: lol


Stranger: and where should u be?


You: probably outside ithout any thuyền mành, rác rưởi, rác thực phẩm hoặc soda


Stranger: fair enough


You: i would survive.


Stranger: do u like talking to strangers?


You: online, through text.


Stranger: where r u from?


Stranger: I am from UK btw


You: im from the us.


Stranger: nice


You: im bored


Stranger: oh...and I am italian


Stranger: we could do something...
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 HAHAHA
HAHAHA
HERE I AM AGIAN BUT THIS TIME WITH MY SIBLING...ya!!!so WE ARE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE TRAGIC STORY OF STALKERS...SO READ THIS danh sách AND IF bạn DO ANYTHING ON THIS danh sách SEE A DOCTER FAST..SO CALL 555-STLAKER HELP(THIS IS NOT REAL DO NOT CALL AND IF bạn DO I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR bạn GETING INVOLVED WITH SOME DILEMA/PROBLEM)PLEASE DO NOT CALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!HERE ME DO NOT CALLL!!!

lIST BEGINS NOW:
1.DO bạn HAVE THE EURGE TO FALLOW PEOPLE AROUND(FRIENDS,GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS hoặc WORSE STRANGERS)
2.DO bạn TEXT/CALL CERTIAN PEOPLE 23/7(AS bạn CAN SEE NOT 24/7 BUT 23/7 THAT WAY THEY HAVE 1HR TO RREST)
3.DO...
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posted by cloudstrifefan
Everything bạn can do with both a ruler and a compass,you can do with a compass alone.

The number symbol,#,is also known as an "octothorpe".

Cats sleep twice as much as people-up to 18 hours per day.

An ancient Greek vase from around 500 BC shows a boy playing with a yo-yo.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia (approx. 40 million)as there are people.

"Almost" is the longest common word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Human thigh Bones are stronger than concrete.

In Alaska's Matanuska Vally,the long hours of sunlight have been used to grow giant vegetables...
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INTRO-
She sings the songs that she learns from
Jen and all the cool girls
She doesn't know what they mean
But she doesn't really have a care in the world

PRE-
She turn red then she turned redder
What was so funny?
They whispered fierce words about her
She fakes a smile
Pictures the snickers with laughture

CHORUS1-
I said,
Why do bạn always go on?
I got a grip on reality finally
But why should I hold on?
This is too hard for me.
They said;
Didn't your mama ever tell ya?
I thought she'd taught ya well but
You're livin life in a fantasy
Why'd bạn treat your life like a dream?

VS1-
She skipped over to the 4th pew
in...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can bạn tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The cần điều khiển, phím điều khiển is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her thêm attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do bạn say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are bạn boys all in the same band?
A3: Do bạn guys all play for the Green vịnh, bay Packers?

Q: How do bạn make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around fanpop and around the world :D


Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 phút looking at the trái cam, màu da cam nước ép, nước trái cây box because it đã đưa ý kiến "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. bạn can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say bạn should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching ti vi bởi candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find ti vi very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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So there has been a lot of new horror phim chiếu rạp coming out and a lot of people doing dumb stuff in that movie.

So I'm gonna help bạn survive. you're welcome.

1. Don't take a trip to a secluded area.
-You could go to Vegas, New York, Paris so why the hell go into a damn desert.

2.Don't invite your boyfriend and the local village slut on the same trip. And don't get mad when they have sex.
-You knew she was a slut so don't get mad when it goes down

3.Don't run out of your hiding spot if the killer can't see you.
-He can't see you! He doesn't know where bạn are! Stay there and shut the hell up.

4.Don't...
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added by 3xZ
added by EgoMouse
Source: MLP
#1: BLAND PROTAGONISTS:
It mostly seems to be female protagonists.
They just don't care for anything, they look like they don't even want to be in this film..


#2; MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ASSHOLES:
And these are the GOOD guys.


#3: JUMP SCARES:
Just stop.. Maybe bạn can try having actual SCARY stuff.
Weird images, dark shadows, that type of stuff..


#4: VILLAIN WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP:
bạn have him at gun point, and he's tied to a chair.. Fucking shoot him already!


#5: TRAGIC VILLAIN:
I don't mind this one, it often works.
But still, can't he just be evil, for the sake of being evil.
Like Michael Myer's in the original film?


#6: POINTLESS REMAKES:
Stop.. Just stop.