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Here are my danh sách of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let bạn know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything hoặc eating anything bạn might spit it hoặc something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the cây chổi, chổi late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the vịnh, bay they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's yêu thích vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the nấm have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do bạn call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do bạn call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do bạn make an octopus giggle ten times?
bạn give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do bạn make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's yêu thích composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between bạn and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't bạn hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher đã đưa ý kiến it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the cà chua blush?
It saw the rau xà lách, salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do bạn know if it's raining mèo and dogs?
bạn step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do bạn know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do bạn get Pikachu on a bus?
bạn Pokémon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't bạn dress with Pikachu in the room?
He'll Pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do bạn call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
bạn boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton vượt qua, cross the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do bạn call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's màu hồng, hồng and fluffy?
màu hồng, hồng fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
màu hồng, hồng fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when bạn drink 7 coca colas?
bạn burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the cá say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't bạn trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope bạn liked them. Make sure bạn check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
added by pure-angel
added by Sandfire_Paiger
Source: http://pophangover.com/2011/04/14/20-crazy-wedding-day-photos/
added by keninv
added by azkaban
added by Tamar20
added by alismouha
added by r-pattz
added by yashar_safavi
We would take no prisoners
'Cause there was nobody giving in
They came walking through my jungle
Met an Angel about to sin
I heard a voice from inside of me
When the youth of America cried
Can bạn help me, hear me call

I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
To the fire
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
I don't wanna fall (I don't wanna fall)
To the fire

When you're a part of society
You know the tim, trái tim of your innocence dies
When we met with Authority
I looked him right between the eyes
'Cause all we had was our innocence
All we had was our hearts to try to win the...
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Riding high, then shot down
I load my súng to ngọn lửa, chữa cháy another round
I look deep into her eyes
And can't run there's nowhere left to hide
Don't stop, no it's much too late
When the night comes I can't wait
Oh I live, tình yêu to lose control
It makes me crazy I want to let bạn know

Oh, no, I don't want to fall
Oh, oh, can't bạn hear me call
All night long in my secret dreams
You tell me I'm the one
When I'm tiếp theo to you, tiếp theo to you
All I want in my secret dreams
Is bạn here with me
I got to get to you, get to you, get to you

There's a thrill, in the chase
We won't lose when we meet face to lace
Love, games a means without...
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Another long and sleepless night
You need someone to hold bạn tight
Sometimes tình yêu don't know wrong from right
Another long and senseless
Fight was all bạn knew they're all the same
There's no one left to take the blame
What's behind this masquerade
How do we win these losin'
Games we play, words we say
Cutting wounds we know they run so deep
Leave it all behind you
Or someday tình yêu will find you

Only lonely, ooh, I can't stop hurting you
Only lonely, ooh, but I can't stop loving you
Only lonely, ooh, how much pain does it take

It's getting sometimes I don't know
When to stop when to go
Sometimes we're so afraid...
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It’s not time to give this one thêm try, I don’t think so
Last night bạn đã đưa ý kiến bạn want a last lie
I can’t let bạn wreck my plans
I’m planning to let bạn go
Oh, only one thing is true, only one thing to do
Time to xóa you

Burning up all your pictures
Tearing up all your letters
Ripping up all your sweaters
This is, this is
For the better

Slashing up all your tires
Smashing up all your flowers
Grabbing back all my power
‘Cause one mess says I don’t need you
Delete you
Oh, (Oh) xóa you
Whoa oh (Oh)

It’s not time to say how much bạn care, I don’t think so
I don’t want you, I want bạn not there...
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posted by -Yusha-
The meme:




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posted by moolah
Brotherly Love
By: moolah
Prologue

    Growing up with 4 brothers can be hectic. Even though Jesse, my twin brother was born 2 hours before me, he made sure I knew that I was the youngest. My oldest brother, Aaron was protective over me, as well as my 2nd oldest brother Martin was.
    I’m Emberlynn. Just the youngest child of Bernice and Amanda List. Our family lived in the good neighborhood. We always had food, and money. When I was in middle school my Những người bạn would always come over to spy on my twin brother, Jesse. They thought he was cute. We shared...
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posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE bạn AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING bạn 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST ngôi sao IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T bạn EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO bạn BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF hoặc I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the hiển thị earlyer!Bye!
The End
posted by fencingrocks
In my school, we have this dumb period called skills. It is last period, and we switch teachers every day. What we do in skills totally depends on the teacher we have.

Anyways, I was in science skills. My teacher was making us plot the track of Hurricane Katrina. He is oddly obsessed with hurricanes and no one knows why.

He put me at a science bàn in the back of the room, with this girl named Abigail.

Abigail and I had talked before, but we weren’t really that close.

I gathered my hurricane plotting materials, and placed them down on the black science table.

Once class started, Abigail and I...
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posted by 7things
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added by Mollymolata
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