There are certain rules of survival in horror movies. The movie Scream had some rules, but they weren’t very useful. Our rules are much better and teach bạn exactly how to survive a horror movie.
Don’t walk around saying “Hello?” like the killer is going to reply “Yeah I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”
If someone says “Oh yeah, that’s the house where Old Man Jenkins was murdered” then it’s time to di chuyển house.
If your friend gets bitten bởi a zombie and says “Maybe I wont turn into one”, kill him. Better an toàn, két an toàn than sorry.
Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don’t drop it. Car? Won’t start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die.
If something licks your hand in the darkness, it’s not your dog. Your dog is dead.
Stay away from places like Amityville, Haddonfield, Camp Crystal Lake, Elm đường phố, street and the entire state of Maine.
If you’re running around completely naked, bạn might as well just murder yourself.
Don’t be black. For some reason, in horror movies, black people are usually the first to die.
If bạn are annoying hoặc a wise-ass, bạn will die before the black guy.
If bạn are a hot blond girl with big boobs, bạn will die before the annoying guy and the black guy.
If bạn open the door and there is a man standing there, holding an axe, he didn’t come to chop firewood.
Never go to the toilet alone. If needs be, poop your pants. It’s much safer.
If bạn see a clown, RUN. That clown isn’t hanging around to make bạn some balloon animals!
Leave slow hoặc clumsy Những người bạn behind. Every man for himself. Somebody’s got to live to tell the story.
Don’t chẻ, phân chia, split up and look for clues. Everything bạn learned from Scooby-Doo is wrong.
bạn know that creepy clown statue upstairs that is freaking bạn out? Well it’s not a statue.
Never say “I’ll be right back” because bạn won’t be right back.
When you’re walking around a spooky old house, at least try turning the lights on!
If you’re running from the killer, you’re going to trip and fall down at least twice. thêm if you’re a girl.
If bạn trip and fall, don’t lay there with the “Ow it hurts” face. Get up and continue running!
If the killer is chasing you, bạn don’t have to run fast. Just faster than your friends.
No matter how fast bạn run, the killer will always be right behind hoặc in front of you, despite the fact that he is shuffling along at a slower and thêm dramatic pace.
On a stormy night, bạn will find an open window that bạn were sure was locked. It didn’t magically unlock itself!
Whatever bạn do, remember that the killer will never forget what bạn did last Summer.
If you’re pointing a gun at the killer, don’t say “If bạn di chuyển I’ll shoot! I’m serious!” Just shoot him already!
Just lay down on the floor and pretend to be dead. Hey, it works for bears… doesn’t it?
Never back out of one room into another without looking. It’s always behind you.
If bạn see something moving, hit it with a baseball bat… even if it turns out to be your friend. lung lay, swing first, say sorry later.
Listen to the Lời khuyên of all the people in the movie theater who are yelling at the screen!
Don’t trot round the house shouting, “Hey! is anybody there?” Of course there’s somebody there, dummy!
Never take a shower. Killers tình yêu showers. Anyway, sweaty people are slippery and harder to catch.
If you’re a girl, get a boyfriend. He’ll be horribly murdered in front of you, but at least you’ll live.
If bạn hear weird noises, don’t go to investigate. You’re not Dora the Explorer.
Stay out of the library. It’s one of the worst places to hide. Seriously, it’s like a labyrinth of getting murdered. Do bạn realize how easy it is for a killer to hide behind a bookcase?
If you’ve beaten the killer into a bloody pulp and you’re sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up hoặc otherwise destroy him.
If somebody claims that there’s nothing wrong, something is horribly, horribly wrong.
If you’re asked to babysit during a storm, on Halloween, on Friday the 13th hoặc during a full moon, just say “Sorry, no can do”.
Don’t pick up hitchhikers and don’t hitchhike. If bạn do both, then the worst case scenario is: bạn could end up picking yourself up and murdering yourself.
If one of your Những người bạn is injured, leave them behind. Even if it’s just a skinned knee. That qualifies as an injury. Leave them.
If bạn friend gets shot, don’t, under any circumstances, do CPR. This will only make them die faster!
Always have your keys at the ready. bạn don’t want to be fumbling in your bag going “Oh where are they I’m sure I have them here somewhere”, while the killer closes in.
Drips are never good. If bạn hear a dripping sound, it’s blood. Likewise, if bạn hear a clang, it’s a meat cleaver and if bạn hear a thunk, it’s a severed head.
If there is a scary legend, believe it. It’s real. It doesn’t matter of the legend says the killer has an củ hành, hành tây for a head hoặc a chịu, gấu trap for a mouth. It’s real and he’s coming for bạn tonight.
If someone says “It’s just the wind, guys. Everything’s fine. Stop overreacting”, bạn should reply “Yeah well I hope I won’t overreact when you’re dead and stuffed beneath the floorboards”.
Avoid screaming, crying, whispering, panting, wheezing hoặc breathing heavily when you’re trying to hide. Killers are not deaf.
Never bend down to spit out your toothpaste. When bạn come back up, there’ll be someone standing behind bạn in the mirror.
Don’t go to places with weird names like Terror Lake, Hell Hollow, Devil’s Den, Screamerville, Skull Valley, Dead Man’s Crossing, Spook Hill, Ghost Creek, Bloody Springs hoặc Slaughter Beach.
Never go downstairs to check out a weird noise. Especially not in your underwear.
If your Những người bạn go to check out a strange noise and don’t return, don’t go looking for them. Just make new friends.
If your son starts telling bạn “I see dead people”, put him up for adoption!
If you’re babysitting a kid and they tell bạn they saw someone scary at the window, tell them to stand at the window and wave while bạn go hide.
If your running from zombies and your friend trips, don’t worry. Leave them and say “I’ll see bạn again when you’re a zombie”
DO NOT hide where bạn obviously could be SEEN… like BEHIND a LAMP! *idiot*
This is the 21st Century. bạn have a cell phone. Why does nobody in horror phim chiếu rạp call 911?
If you’re black, stay away from white people. They’re too curious – always checking out noises and getting killed.
Have a fat friend. They will come in useful. If bạn run into the killer, bạn can use them as a human shield.
When bạn hear the âm nhạc change to “ch, ch, ch, ch…ah, ah, ah, ah”, you’re as good as dead.
If bạn and your Những người bạn are running from the killer, trip up your friends. bạn can always make new friends, but there’s only one you.
If bạn are babysitting and the phone rings, don’t answer it. Just go trang chủ and let the kids fend for themselves.
Always check the back ghế, chỗ ngồi of the car. 9 out of 10 times, the killer will be crouched there going “Aw dude bạn caught me!”
If bạn come to a deserted town, it’s probably been deserted for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
If you’re not sure who’s the killer and who’s an innocent person, shoot them all and let God sort them out.
If bạn see something mutating, don’t stand there with your “OMFG” face and wait for it to finish mutating. Kill it with ngọn lửa, chữa cháy and get the hell outta there.
I’m a leader not a follower… but if we’re going into a haunted house… you’re going first.
If some idiot in the group says “Let’s chẻ, phân chia, split up”, tell him “OK bạn go that way, the rest of us will go this way”
Never under any circumstances run upstairs if bạn are being chased. Once bạn get upstairs, there’s nowhere left to go.
If you’re hiding from the killer, put your phone on silent.
make sure the killer is dead. if the killer isn’t dead they will just keep coming back like team rocket.
OK under the giường is not a real hiding spot. What self-respecting killer WOULDN’T check under the bed.
If your BestFriendForever trips and falls and screams “Don’t leave me!”, change their friendship status to BestFriendForNever.
If bạn find your friend stabbed 78 times and lying in a pool of blood, dont go “OMG what happened?” bạn KNOW what happened.
The killer never dies the first time. Wait until he gets up, then kill him again.
when bạn find your friend stabbed 78 times dont comfort her. Run! She’s gonna die anyway.
When you’re driving at night and bạn hit someone, don’t stop to see if they’re OK.
Hide in the fridge. Killers don’t get hungry and stop for munchies during a murder spree.
Never look behind bạn while running away. When bạn look back, the killer will be standing in front of you.
Make sure your car has a full tank of gas and your cell phone is fully charged.
Whenever a puppet hoặc doll turns to bạn and says “Let’s play”, it doesn’t REALLY want to play.
If bạn knock on the door of a creepy old house and it opens bởi itself, don’t go inside.
If objects in your house become possessed and start attacking you, don’t run into the kitchen. That’s where the knives are.
If bạn hear a little girl hát a nursery rhyme, say “Feet don’t fail me now!” and start running.
Don’t stop at a gas station and ask the creepy old man for directions. He’s not going to help you.
After bạn shoot the killer, don’t drop your gun.
If someone hands bạn a videotape and says “If bạn watch this bạn will die in 7 days”, don’t break out the popcorn.
If bạn see something weird, tell someone. Don’t just go “Oh, I must be imagining things.”
There is a killer in town and the police have asked us to give bạn the following safety tips. Stay in well-lit areas, do not travel alone whenever possible, always wipe front to back.
Never get into a car. It will either not start, break down, run out of gas hoặc bạn will lose the keys. Either way, the killer will be hiding in the back seat.
If a policeman arrives, don’t get your hopes up. He will be killed just before he reaches you.
Find a good hiding place and STAY THERE. If the killer can’t see hoặc hear you, WHY WOULD bạn MOVE?
If bạn are buying a house and the real estate agent is all like “well, yeah, full disclosure – there were some murders that happened here”, buy a different house.
If bạn hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate. The killer is there. Also your dog is dead.
Never attempt to pull off the killer’s mask. bạn won’t like what bạn see.
Never assume the killer is dead. Shoot him, stab him, chop off his arms, legs and head, then burn the pieces and put them out with holy water. If possible, rocket his charred remains into space. Even then, he probably won’t be dead.
If bạn have any history of mental illness, bạn will discover at the end of the movie that bạn were the killer all along.
If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism. di chuyển very very far away. Because there’s blood on your walls. Blood! On your walls! Your walls are bleeding!
Never Kiss your boyfriend hoặc girlfriend. Smooching couples are a magnet for deranged serial killers.
Never yell things like “It’s over now” hoặc “We made it”. That guarantees that it’s not over and bạn won’t make it.
If bạn spot a weird dude in your garden holding a chainsaw, he is not there to trim your hedges.
Don’t get drunk hoặc do drugs. Escaping from a killer is much harder when you’re stumbling around and hát to yourself.
If you’re going on vacation, Google the name of the area. If the first five tìm kiếm results are news stories about Missing Persons, take a holiday somewhere else.
Don’t go outside just because bạn hear a noise. That’s like coming out and saying “Here I am! I’m ready to be murdered now!”
Protect yourself. Find a weapon. Gun, knife, chainsaw = weapons. Umbrella, mop, lamp = not weapons.
Don’t drink alcohol hoặc do drugs. Killers in horror phim chiếu rạp have an extra-special hatred of drunk hoặc stoned teenagers.
If your Dad goes insane and starts hacking down your bedroom door with an axe, don’t try to reason with him. Jump out the window.
Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don’t drop it. Car? Won’t start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die.
If bạn hear a scary noise and find out that it’s just the cat, the tiếp theo scary noise bạn hear won’t be just the cat.
If one of your arms hoặc legs gets chopped off, don’t let it get bạn down. Later on, bạn may be able to replace it with a chainsaw hoặc machine gun.
Don’t sacrifice yourself to save someone else. Usually the person bạn saved will die anyway.
If bạn see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s just one of your Những người bạn playing a prank on you.
If your parents murdered a serial killer years ago, the killer will return to murder you. Strangely, he will leave your parents alone.
If your girlfriend is a hot cheerleader, dump her for the weird chick that nobody likes. Weird chicks never get killed, cheerleaders always die.
A good strategy is to say “No! Kill me instead!” That way, the killer will leave bạn alone and murder everbody else. Reverse psychology.
Don’t make Những người bạn with rednecks hoặc hillbillies unless bạn want to be down on all fours, squealing like a pig.
Never make a plan, because your plan will take into account everything that could possibly happen, except for the one thing that actually happens.
If bạn throw away a doll and come trang chủ to find it waiting for you, immediately leave the country. There is no other way to get rid of it.
If the calls are coming from inside the house, get outside the house.
When bạn find a strange weapon, immediately grab it. Later on, this will be the only weapon capable of killing the monster.
If bạn are shooting at a monster with a big gun and it has no effect, don’t take out a smaller gun and start shooting.
If a girl with long black hair starts crawling out of your TV, hit the OFF button on the remote before she gets all the way out.
If you’re being chased bởi a killer and bạn meet one of your Những người bạn and they ask “what’s wrong?”, don’t stop to explain. Just shout “Cantstoptotalkkillerchasingmeseeyoulater” as bạn pass by.
If all else fails, make Những người bạn with the villain and help him kill everyone else. If bạn can’t beat ‘em, tham gia ‘em.
A danh sách bởi Scary For Kids. Link here:
link
Don’t walk around saying “Hello?” like the killer is going to reply “Yeah I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”
If someone says “Oh yeah, that’s the house where Old Man Jenkins was murdered” then it’s time to di chuyển house.
If your friend gets bitten bởi a zombie and says “Maybe I wont turn into one”, kill him. Better an toàn, két an toàn than sorry.
Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don’t drop it. Car? Won’t start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die.
If something licks your hand in the darkness, it’s not your dog. Your dog is dead.
Stay away from places like Amityville, Haddonfield, Camp Crystal Lake, Elm đường phố, street and the entire state of Maine.
If you’re running around completely naked, bạn might as well just murder yourself.
Don’t be black. For some reason, in horror movies, black people are usually the first to die.
If bạn are annoying hoặc a wise-ass, bạn will die before the black guy.
If bạn are a hot blond girl with big boobs, bạn will die before the annoying guy and the black guy.
If bạn open the door and there is a man standing there, holding an axe, he didn’t come to chop firewood.
Never go to the toilet alone. If needs be, poop your pants. It’s much safer.
If bạn see a clown, RUN. That clown isn’t hanging around to make bạn some balloon animals!
Leave slow hoặc clumsy Những người bạn behind. Every man for himself. Somebody’s got to live to tell the story.
Don’t chẻ, phân chia, split up and look for clues. Everything bạn learned from Scooby-Doo is wrong.
bạn know that creepy clown statue upstairs that is freaking bạn out? Well it’s not a statue.
Never say “I’ll be right back” because bạn won’t be right back.
When you’re walking around a spooky old house, at least try turning the lights on!
If you’re running from the killer, you’re going to trip and fall down at least twice. thêm if you’re a girl.
If bạn trip and fall, don’t lay there with the “Ow it hurts” face. Get up and continue running!
If the killer is chasing you, bạn don’t have to run fast. Just faster than your friends.
No matter how fast bạn run, the killer will always be right behind hoặc in front of you, despite the fact that he is shuffling along at a slower and thêm dramatic pace.
On a stormy night, bạn will find an open window that bạn were sure was locked. It didn’t magically unlock itself!
Whatever bạn do, remember that the killer will never forget what bạn did last Summer.
If you’re pointing a gun at the killer, don’t say “If bạn di chuyển I’ll shoot! I’m serious!” Just shoot him already!
Just lay down on the floor and pretend to be dead. Hey, it works for bears… doesn’t it?
Never back out of one room into another without looking. It’s always behind you.
If bạn see something moving, hit it with a baseball bat… even if it turns out to be your friend. lung lay, swing first, say sorry later.
Listen to the Lời khuyên of all the people in the movie theater who are yelling at the screen!
Don’t trot round the house shouting, “Hey! is anybody there?” Of course there’s somebody there, dummy!
Never take a shower. Killers tình yêu showers. Anyway, sweaty people are slippery and harder to catch.
If you’re a girl, get a boyfriend. He’ll be horribly murdered in front of you, but at least you’ll live.
If bạn hear weird noises, don’t go to investigate. You’re not Dora the Explorer.
Stay out of the library. It’s one of the worst places to hide. Seriously, it’s like a labyrinth of getting murdered. Do bạn realize how easy it is for a killer to hide behind a bookcase?
If you’ve beaten the killer into a bloody pulp and you’re sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up hoặc otherwise destroy him.
If somebody claims that there’s nothing wrong, something is horribly, horribly wrong.
If you’re asked to babysit during a storm, on Halloween, on Friday the 13th hoặc during a full moon, just say “Sorry, no can do”.
Don’t pick up hitchhikers and don’t hitchhike. If bạn do both, then the worst case scenario is: bạn could end up picking yourself up and murdering yourself.
If one of your Những người bạn is injured, leave them behind. Even if it’s just a skinned knee. That qualifies as an injury. Leave them.
If bạn friend gets shot, don’t, under any circumstances, do CPR. This will only make them die faster!
Always have your keys at the ready. bạn don’t want to be fumbling in your bag going “Oh where are they I’m sure I have them here somewhere”, while the killer closes in.
Drips are never good. If bạn hear a dripping sound, it’s blood. Likewise, if bạn hear a clang, it’s a meat cleaver and if bạn hear a thunk, it’s a severed head.
If there is a scary legend, believe it. It’s real. It doesn’t matter of the legend says the killer has an củ hành, hành tây for a head hoặc a chịu, gấu trap for a mouth. It’s real and he’s coming for bạn tonight.
If someone says “It’s just the wind, guys. Everything’s fine. Stop overreacting”, bạn should reply “Yeah well I hope I won’t overreact when you’re dead and stuffed beneath the floorboards”.
Avoid screaming, crying, whispering, panting, wheezing hoặc breathing heavily when you’re trying to hide. Killers are not deaf.
Never bend down to spit out your toothpaste. When bạn come back up, there’ll be someone standing behind bạn in the mirror.
Don’t go to places with weird names like Terror Lake, Hell Hollow, Devil’s Den, Screamerville, Skull Valley, Dead Man’s Crossing, Spook Hill, Ghost Creek, Bloody Springs hoặc Slaughter Beach.
Never go downstairs to check out a weird noise. Especially not in your underwear.
If your Những người bạn go to check out a strange noise and don’t return, don’t go looking for them. Just make new friends.
If your son starts telling bạn “I see dead people”, put him up for adoption!
If you’re babysitting a kid and they tell bạn they saw someone scary at the window, tell them to stand at the window and wave while bạn go hide.
If your running from zombies and your friend trips, don’t worry. Leave them and say “I’ll see bạn again when you’re a zombie”
DO NOT hide where bạn obviously could be SEEN… like BEHIND a LAMP! *idiot*
This is the 21st Century. bạn have a cell phone. Why does nobody in horror phim chiếu rạp call 911?
If you’re black, stay away from white people. They’re too curious – always checking out noises and getting killed.
Have a fat friend. They will come in useful. If bạn run into the killer, bạn can use them as a human shield.
When bạn hear the âm nhạc change to “ch, ch, ch, ch…ah, ah, ah, ah”, you’re as good as dead.
If bạn and your Những người bạn are running from the killer, trip up your friends. bạn can always make new friends, but there’s only one you.
If bạn are babysitting and the phone rings, don’t answer it. Just go trang chủ and let the kids fend for themselves.
Always check the back ghế, chỗ ngồi of the car. 9 out of 10 times, the killer will be crouched there going “Aw dude bạn caught me!”
If bạn come to a deserted town, it’s probably been deserted for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
If you’re not sure who’s the killer and who’s an innocent person, shoot them all and let God sort them out.
If bạn see something mutating, don’t stand there with your “OMFG” face and wait for it to finish mutating. Kill it with ngọn lửa, chữa cháy and get the hell outta there.
I’m a leader not a follower… but if we’re going into a haunted house… you’re going first.
If some idiot in the group says “Let’s chẻ, phân chia, split up”, tell him “OK bạn go that way, the rest of us will go this way”
Never under any circumstances run upstairs if bạn are being chased. Once bạn get upstairs, there’s nowhere left to go.
If you’re hiding from the killer, put your phone on silent.
make sure the killer is dead. if the killer isn’t dead they will just keep coming back like team rocket.
OK under the giường is not a real hiding spot. What self-respecting killer WOULDN’T check under the bed.
If your BestFriendForever trips and falls and screams “Don’t leave me!”, change their friendship status to BestFriendForNever.
If bạn find your friend stabbed 78 times and lying in a pool of blood, dont go “OMG what happened?” bạn KNOW what happened.
The killer never dies the first time. Wait until he gets up, then kill him again.
when bạn find your friend stabbed 78 times dont comfort her. Run! She’s gonna die anyway.
When you’re driving at night and bạn hit someone, don’t stop to see if they’re OK.
Hide in the fridge. Killers don’t get hungry and stop for munchies during a murder spree.
Never look behind bạn while running away. When bạn look back, the killer will be standing in front of you.
Make sure your car has a full tank of gas and your cell phone is fully charged.
Whenever a puppet hoặc doll turns to bạn and says “Let’s play”, it doesn’t REALLY want to play.
If bạn knock on the door of a creepy old house and it opens bởi itself, don’t go inside.
If objects in your house become possessed and start attacking you, don’t run into the kitchen. That’s where the knives are.
If bạn hear a little girl hát a nursery rhyme, say “Feet don’t fail me now!” and start running.
Don’t stop at a gas station and ask the creepy old man for directions. He’s not going to help you.
After bạn shoot the killer, don’t drop your gun.
If someone hands bạn a videotape and says “If bạn watch this bạn will die in 7 days”, don’t break out the popcorn.
If bạn see something weird, tell someone. Don’t just go “Oh, I must be imagining things.”
There is a killer in town and the police have asked us to give bạn the following safety tips. Stay in well-lit areas, do not travel alone whenever possible, always wipe front to back.
Never get into a car. It will either not start, break down, run out of gas hoặc bạn will lose the keys. Either way, the killer will be hiding in the back seat.
If a policeman arrives, don’t get your hopes up. He will be killed just before he reaches you.
Find a good hiding place and STAY THERE. If the killer can’t see hoặc hear you, WHY WOULD bạn MOVE?
If bạn are buying a house and the real estate agent is all like “well, yeah, full disclosure – there were some murders that happened here”, buy a different house.
If bạn hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate. The killer is there. Also your dog is dead.
Never attempt to pull off the killer’s mask. bạn won’t like what bạn see.
Never assume the killer is dead. Shoot him, stab him, chop off his arms, legs and head, then burn the pieces and put them out with holy water. If possible, rocket his charred remains into space. Even then, he probably won’t be dead.
If bạn have any history of mental illness, bạn will discover at the end of the movie that bạn were the killer all along.
If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism. di chuyển very very far away. Because there’s blood on your walls. Blood! On your walls! Your walls are bleeding!
Never Kiss your boyfriend hoặc girlfriend. Smooching couples are a magnet for deranged serial killers.
Never yell things like “It’s over now” hoặc “We made it”. That guarantees that it’s not over and bạn won’t make it.
If bạn spot a weird dude in your garden holding a chainsaw, he is not there to trim your hedges.
Don’t get drunk hoặc do drugs. Escaping from a killer is much harder when you’re stumbling around and hát to yourself.
If you’re going on vacation, Google the name of the area. If the first five tìm kiếm results are news stories about Missing Persons, take a holiday somewhere else.
Don’t go outside just because bạn hear a noise. That’s like coming out and saying “Here I am! I’m ready to be murdered now!”
Protect yourself. Find a weapon. Gun, knife, chainsaw = weapons. Umbrella, mop, lamp = not weapons.
Don’t drink alcohol hoặc do drugs. Killers in horror phim chiếu rạp have an extra-special hatred of drunk hoặc stoned teenagers.
If your Dad goes insane and starts hacking down your bedroom door with an axe, don’t try to reason with him. Jump out the window.
Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there. Phone? Never works. Gun? Don’t drop it. Car? Won’t start. Neighbors? Never home. Police? Always die.
If bạn hear a scary noise and find out that it’s just the cat, the tiếp theo scary noise bạn hear won’t be just the cat.
If one of your arms hoặc legs gets chopped off, don’t let it get bạn down. Later on, bạn may be able to replace it with a chainsaw hoặc machine gun.
Don’t sacrifice yourself to save someone else. Usually the person bạn saved will die anyway.
If bạn see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s just one of your Những người bạn playing a prank on you.
If your parents murdered a serial killer years ago, the killer will return to murder you. Strangely, he will leave your parents alone.
If your girlfriend is a hot cheerleader, dump her for the weird chick that nobody likes. Weird chicks never get killed, cheerleaders always die.
A good strategy is to say “No! Kill me instead!” That way, the killer will leave bạn alone and murder everbody else. Reverse psychology.
Don’t make Những người bạn with rednecks hoặc hillbillies unless bạn want to be down on all fours, squealing like a pig.
Never make a plan, because your plan will take into account everything that could possibly happen, except for the one thing that actually happens.
If bạn throw away a doll and come trang chủ to find it waiting for you, immediately leave the country. There is no other way to get rid of it.
If the calls are coming from inside the house, get outside the house.
When bạn find a strange weapon, immediately grab it. Later on, this will be the only weapon capable of killing the monster.
If bạn are shooting at a monster with a big gun and it has no effect, don’t take out a smaller gun and start shooting.
If a girl with long black hair starts crawling out of your TV, hit the OFF button on the remote before she gets all the way out.
If you’re being chased bởi a killer and bạn meet one of your Những người bạn and they ask “what’s wrong?”, don’t stop to explain. Just shout “Cantstoptotalkkillerchasingmeseeyoulater” as bạn pass by.
If all else fails, make Những người bạn with the villain and help him kill everyone else. If bạn can’t beat ‘em, tham gia ‘em.
A danh sách bởi Scary For Kids. Link here:
link
1) Pay the ring bearer a dollar to pick his/her nose during the ceremony.
2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.
3) Pay the hoa girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.
4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure bạn disabled the piano/organ first.
5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.
6) Get your best friend to call bạn repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure bạn set your ringtone to an irritating tone.
7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.
8) "Trip" and spill Sô cô la fondue all over the bride.
9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid di chuyển bởi getting married" sign on the groom's back.
10) "Invite" a pit bull.
2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.
3) Pay the hoa girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.
4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure bạn disabled the piano/organ first.
5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.
6) Get your best friend to call bạn repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure bạn set your ringtone to an irritating tone.
7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.
8) "Trip" and spill Sô cô la fondue all over the bride.
9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid di chuyển bởi getting married" sign on the groom's back.
10) "Invite" a pit bull.
#9 Have one of your Những người bạn hit bạn on the back and spit out a piece of white gum hoặc a tic-tak, this will make people think they broke your tooth.
#8 Go to the mall and ask people if they have change for the payphone. Don't stop until bạn have $20 hoặc more.
#7 If bạn have to write a story for English class, write: Once upon a time, The end, and turn it in.
#6 After a lesson, if the teacher ask if there are any questions, ask something completely randon like "Where do em bé come from?"
#5 If the teacher leaves during the middle of a movie, get up and change the channel to Spongebob hoặc âm nhạc videos.
#4 Go around hát the Free Credit Report.com songs.
#3 Go around hitting people on the head and say: "Could've had a v8."
#2 Get a bra and use it to shoot eggs at people.
#1 When the intercom comes on, drop to your knees and yell, "NO! It's those voices again!