1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with bia and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. di chuyển your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
11. Walk and talk backwards.
12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're thêm than meets the eye."
14. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," "Casablanca") almost inaudibly.
15. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian Arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).
16. Collect all your urine in a small jug.
17. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring bạn food.
18. Get a computer. Leave it on when bạn are not using it. Turn it off when bạn are.
19. Ask your roommate if your family can di chuyển in "just for a couple of weeks."
20. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as bạn can. Pretend to masturbate while đọc them.
21. Fake a tim, trái tim attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
22. Eat glass.
23. Smoke ballpoint pens.
24. Smile. All the time.
25. Collect dog poop in baby thực phẩm jars. Sort them according to what bạn think the dog ate.
26. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho-Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When bạn get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before bạn get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
28. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a danh sách of grievances.
29. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.
30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
31. Dye all your underwear vôi green.
32. Spill a lot of bia on his/her bed. Swim.
33. Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.
34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).
36. Pray to Azazoth hoặc Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one một phút and then stand up. Announce that bạn are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
38. Arrange thirteen toothbrushes of different màu sắc on your dresser. Set one aside from the rest. Laugh hysterically at the one toothbrush. When your roommate asks about it, refuse to discuss the situation.
39. Paint your half of the room black. hoặc paisley.
40. Whenever s/he is about to fall asleep, ask các câu hỏi that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
41. Shave off one of your roommate's eyebrows. bình luận repeatedly on how it makes him/her look younger.
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
43. Put horseradish in your shoes.
44. Shelve all your sách with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that bạn can never find the book that bạn want.
45. Always flush the toilet three times.
46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.
48. Give him/her an allowance.
49. Listen to radio static.
50. Open your window shades before bạn go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as bạn wake up.
51. Cry a lot.
52. Send secret admirer notes on your roommate's e-mail.
53. Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If s/he walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously.
54. Paste used Kleenexes to his/her walls.
55. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
56. If bạn get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed.
57. Put pornos under his/her bed. Whenever someone comes to visit your roommate when they're not home, hiển thị them the magazines.
58. Whenever bạn go to sleep, start jumping on your bed. Do so for a while, then jump really high and act like bạn hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your giường and fake like bạn were knocked out. Use this method to fall asleep every night for a month.
59. If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks.
60. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 giây then hang up.
61. Whenever s/he goes to shower, drop whatever you're doing, grab a towel, and go vòi hoa sen too.
62. Find out your roommate's post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her bởi UPS.
63. Collect all of your pencil shavings and sprinkle them on the floor.
64. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate.
65. Call safety & security whenever your roommate turns up his/her music.
66. Follow him/her around on weekends.
67. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.
68. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.
69. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
70. Take his/her underwear. Wear it.
71. Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her.
72. Stare at your roommate for five phút out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.
73. Tell your roommate that someone called and đã đưa ý kiến that it was really important but bạn can't remember who it was.
74. Let mice loose in his/her room.
75. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever bạn can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that bạn don't trust your ceiling.
76. Take your roommate's papers and hand them in as your own.
77. Skip to the bathroom.
78. Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend.
79. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. bình luận about the beautiful foliage.
80. When bạn walk into your room, turn off your lights. Turn them on when bạn leave.
81. Print up satanic signs and leave them in your room where s/he can find them.
82. Whenever you're on the phone and s/he walks in, hang up immediately without saying anything and crawl under your desk. Sit there for two minutes, then call whoever it was back.
83. Insist on nghề viết văn the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before bạn go to bed.
84. Use a bible as Kleenex.
85. Burn incense.
86. Eat moths.
87. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the tiếp theo ngày that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The tiếp theo ngày say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
88. Collect Chia Pets.
89. Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language.
90. Eat a bag of marshmallows before bạn go to bed. The tiếp theo day, spray three bottles of whipped cream all over your floor. Say bạn got sick.
91. Wipe deodorant all over your roommate's walls.
92. If bạn know that s/he is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.
93. Leave táo, apple cores on his/her bed.
94. Keep feces in your fridge. Complain that there is never anything to eat.
95. Urinate in a jar and leave it bởi your bed. When your roommate isn't looking, replace it with a jar of táo, apple juice. Each night before bạn go to bed, take a big swig from the jar.
96. Don't ever flush.
97. Buy an inflatable doll. Sleep with it.
98. Hang stuffed động vật with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever bạn walk bởi them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."
99. Lick him/her while they are asleep.
100. Dress in drag.
101. Buy Lay's potato chips with all your money. Stack the bags in the middle of the room in a pyramid. Eat them whenever your roommate is in the room. For every one bạn eat, offer your roommate one, each time telling him, "No one can eat just one."
102. Wear no clothes in the room except a cowboy hat.
103. Lay in the middle of the room and chant to pagan gods.
104. Plant cỏ in the carpet and scream at your roommate every time s/he takes a step in the room. Put up a "please don't walk on the grass" sign.
105. Give your roommate's clothes to the Salvation Army.
106. Pretend to vòi hoa sen often but only wash your hair in the sink. See how long it takes your roommate to notice.
107. Read lots of science fiction and begin to act as though bạn think your roommate is an alien in disguise. Jump on him/her and try to rip off the humanoid mask the alien is wearing.
108. Invite a homeless person to live in your room and sleep in your roommate's bed.
109. Set off the smoke alarm in your room and tell the ngọn lửa, chữa cháy department your roommate was smoking.
110. Become your own twin brother and tell your roommate that bạn and your brother never appear in the same place at once. Tell your roommate the same thing again after leaving and coming back into the room.
111. Sleep face down under your mattress on a bunkbed and stare at your roommate all night through the springs.
112. Wear ammonia as a cologne.
113. Whenever your roommate goes to sleep, wake up.
114. Whenever your roommate wakes up, go to sleep.
115. Have really weird Những người bạn who have strange loud conversations. Whenever your roommate walks in, bạn all be quiet and stare at him/her until s/he leaves.
116. Mount a wall-sized mirror on your tường and then ask your roommate not to look at it because demonic forces from the other side will escape into this world if s/he does.
117. Build an antfarm. Let your ants have "jailbreaks". Then ask your roommate to help bạn hunt down all the renegade ants.
118. Wear nothing but tightie-whities whenever your roommate has guests.
119. Nail boards across your window. When your roommate asks why, tell him/her bạn know they're all watching you.
120. Start a scab collection. Keep it in a locked glass case on your desk. Tell your roommate that bạn know s/he was looking for the key.
121. Leave Kleenexes dipped in mayonnaise on the floor. Tell guests that your roommate is disgusting and hiển thị them.
122. Start a new-wave cult. Hold nightly candle-lit rituals in your room with your followers.
123. Begin to accumulate a used gum ball. Weigh it every day. Accuse your roommate of stealing gum.
124. Throw blood on your roommate when s/he is wearing a áo, áo khoác and shout, "Animal killer!"
125. Get a friend to leave a phone message for bạn with your roommate, saying the test results came back positive. When your roommate tells you, cough, faint, and then refuse to discuss it.
126. Laugh a lot in the morning. Tell your roommate to be happy all the time.
127. Put no-doze pills in your roommate's drinks.
128. Set your alarm clock for three o'clock. Push the doze button every 5 phút when it beeps for the tiếp theo five hours, each time telling your roommate that you'll wake up in five minutes.
129. Get your roommate's social security number. Call the registrar and switch all of his/her classes. Tell your roommate at the end of the term that the Philosophical Environmental Anthropology exam is supposed to be really hard. Wish him/her luck.
130. Play Dungeons & Những câu chuyện về rồng all the time. Tell your roommate to obey bạn because bạn are the Dungeon Master. Attack invisible Những câu chuyện về rồng with a cardboard sword.
131. Make a voodoo doll of your roommate. Kill it.
132. Learn the words to all your roommate's yêu thích songs. Sing along.
133. Learn to play an accordion.
134. Make a contract with the Mafia to kill your roommate. Become a born-again Christian and dreadfully regret your actions. Explain to your roommate the situation, how sorry bạn are, and that there is nothing bạn can do to prevent the hit. Try to convert your roommate before s/he dies.
135. Build a snowman out of big balls of toilet paper. Throw water on it and begin to cry that the snowman is melting.
136. Put Vaseline on everything. Tell your roommate that bạn were just trying to "loosen up" the room.
137. Tell your roommate on a daily basis that s/he is projecting negative karma.
138. Whenever your roommate gets clothes back from the laundry, hide them. Then wear some every ngày until bạn have removed all the stolen clothes from hiding and they are all now dirty. Ask your roommate to wash them again.
139. Learn a lot of quotations. Whenever bạn talk to your roommate, say nothing but trích dẫn for three weeks.
140. Adopt an iguana. Collect the skin peelings. Give them to your roommate as a peace offering from Peter (the iguana).
141. Bring several chó to your room. Hold conversations with them whenever your roommate comes in. If s/he complains, tell him/her s/he is being prejudiced on the basis of your friends' species. Call him/her a bigot.
142. Sign up your roommate for all the radical organizations on campus. If they call, tell them s/he is very interested in and in favor of their cause.
143. Buy seven different colored yo-yo's. Practice with them seven hours a day, alternating yo-yo's on the hour.
144. Create an animal cemetery in your floor. Hold memorial services. If your roommate complains, tell him/her that s/he has no respect for the dead.
145. When your roommate is typing, type on your keyboard in synchronization.
146. Become a Trekkie. Talk to your communicator. Tell Scottie to beam bạn up and run quickly from the room. If your roommate asks, tell him/her "Dammit, Jim, I'm just a doctor!"
147. Buy forty two-liter bottles of generic soda. Dump out one bottle. Every time bạn drink a bottle, piss in the empty one. Do so until bạn have thirty-nine bottles of urine. Complain to your roommate that generic soda tastes awful.
148. Order five anchovy pizzas in your roommate's name. When the deliverer arrives, tell them that your roommate likes to play jokes on the pizza, bánh pizza place and then your roommate lies about his/her ordering. Tell them where s/he is.
149. Put in your contacts when bạn go to bed. Scream in agony as bạn rip them from your bloody eyelids in the morning. Put them in again that night. Complain to your roommate that bạn just can't see a darned thing anymore.
150. Insist that bạn are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the giường holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If s/he asks about the wrappers, say bạn know nothing about them.
151. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while s/he is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors bởi your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
152. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as bạn can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't bạn be going somewhere?"
153. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When s/he does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again."
154. Every time bạn see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
155. Set your roommate's giường on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
156. Put your glasses on before bạn go to bed. Take them off as soon as bạn wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
157. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but bạn can't say anything more, hoặc you'll have to face the consequences.
158. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that s/he do the same.
159. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that bạn are in training. Eat a dozen bánh doughnut every night.
160. Every Thursday, pack up everything bạn own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an giờ and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
161. Every time bạn wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say bạn don't know what s/he is talking about.
162. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
163. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.
164. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
165. Buy a jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
166. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
167. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
168. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When s/he comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When bạn finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
169. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? S/he won't be here much longer."
170. If your roommate comes trang chủ after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
171. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that bạn don't know how they got there.
172. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
173. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time s/he coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are bạn dying?"
174. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
175. Keep a một giống nhện, tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, she's around here somewhere."
176. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When bạn recover, say bạn can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
177. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that s/he needs bowling shoes.
178. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.
179. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
180. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that s/he hurt its feelings. Watch TV with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
181. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that bạn are hungry.
182. cú đấm a hole in the TV. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the poor picture quality.
183. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an giờ every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The tiếp theo day, start standing in front of the window again.
184. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He/She just didn't belong."
185. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that bạn feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
186. Cover your giường with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring bạn thực phẩm and water.
187. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"
188. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that bạn were hot. Open and close the broken window as bạn normally would.
189. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that bạn hit the bull's eye.
190. Send hoa to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When bạn see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.
191. Call your roommate "Clyde" bởi accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the tiếp theo few weeks, until bạn are calling him/her "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore, Murray."
192. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while bạn are sleeping.
193. di chuyển everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if s/he knows how much an con voi weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
194. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
195. When your roommate comes in, pretend that bạn are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After bạn hang up, say, "That was your mom. She đã đưa ý kiến she'd call back."
196. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When s/he leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, bạn can come out now."
197. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells bạn to take it off, say, "Who the hell do bạn think bạn are? A king?"
198. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."
199. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
200. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless s/he says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.
201. Scatter stuffed động vật around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
202. Hang a tire lung lay, swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease diễn xuất like a monkey and claim that the tire lung lay, swing was your roommate's idea. When bạn and your roommate are alone again, continue diễn xuất like a monkey.
203. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say that the lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ made bạn do it.
204. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If s/he refuses, claim that bạn have won bởi forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the room. Insist that s/he remove all of his/her possessions immediately.
205. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor).
206. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that bạn are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses bạn of not having any Native-American roots, claim that s/he has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.
207. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.
208. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that bạn were trying to kill a mosquito.
209. Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If s/he asks about it, tell him/her that bạn traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.
210. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the tiếp theo day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
211. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a tường for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."
212. Shave off one of your eyebrows. Look at your thông tin các nhân in the mirror for hours each day; first one side, then the other. Every three minutes, remark to your roommate, "Something looks different..." When s/he các bình luận on your eyebrow, look surprised and ask when your one eyebrow appeared.
213. Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, báo cáo that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.
214. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to know!"
215. Collect potato chips that bạn think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."
216. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!")
217. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with bạn anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if bạn can box with his/her shadow.
218. When bạn walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh, you're here!" Walk away yelling and cursing.
219. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her an toàn, két an toàn return.
220. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the dưa hấu can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the dưa hấu out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
221. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what bạn think." If s/he asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
222. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When bạn finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
223. Paint a tunnel on the tường like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as bạn attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "Damn road runner...."
224. Leave memos on your roommate's giường that say things like, "I know what bạn did," and "Don't think bạn can fool me." Sign them in blood.
225. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If s/he protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
226. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.
227. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Refer to your roommate as "matey." Threaten to make him/her walk the plank if s/he doesn't swab the deck.
228. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
229. Buy a telescope. Sit on your giường and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for bạn to see.
230. Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking about.
231. Watch "Psycho" every ngày for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.
232. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.
233. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making ngẫu nhiên corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that bạn just couldn't take it anymore.
234. Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let bạn back in. If s/he asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.
235. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and bọc your head in bandages. When bạn see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."
236. Carve a jack-o'lantern. Complain to your roommate that the jack-o-lantern has been staring at you. The tiếp theo day, tell your roommate that the jack-o-lantern thinks s/he has been staring at it. Confide in your roommate that bạn really don't like the jack-o'lantern, but bạn can't convince it to di chuyển out.
237. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin hát famous operas as loud as bạn can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
238. Hang a bóng rổ net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to bóng rổ games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that bạn think the refrigerator has been taking steroids.
239. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much bạn tình yêu lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much bạn hate lemonade.
240. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving bạn and your roommate.
241. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about an hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.
242. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to tham gia you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
243. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be an earthquake soon. While your roommate is out, trash everything on his/her side of the room. When s/he returns, explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.
244. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a Band-Aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
245. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate that the tôm, tôm hùm is making up his own rules.
246. Make bánh xèo, bánh kếp every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that bạn think the king of the bánh xèo, bánh kếp has been taking bribes.
247. While bạn are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can ngọn lửa, chữa cháy in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that bạn are just trying to get even.
248. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.
249. Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your roommate that the lạc đà spotted him/her in a restricted area and đã đưa ý kiến not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel.
250. Put out a plate of bánh quy, cookie at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the bánh quy, cookie while your roommate is asleep. The tiếp theo morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If s/he tries to tell bạn the Sandman did it, insist that bạn know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks. Grumble angrily and storm out of the room.
251. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to him/her before s/he goes to class.
252. Every time bạn enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
253. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read without one when the lights are out, remarking every so often how great the book is.
254. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the giường onto the floor. Pretend bạn are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.
255. Keep a chuột đồng, hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."
256. Make bánh mì nướng for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ in. Eat the plain bread, looking at the lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ angrily, and complain that the lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.
257. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going away to "find yourself." Leave, and come back in about ten minutes. If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man/woman to find.
258. Never speak to your roommate directly. If bạn need to ask hoặc tell him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.
259. Every night, before bạn go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When s/he brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If s/he ever refuses to bring bạn a glass of water, lie on the giường and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging sounds, until s/he does so.
260. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If s/he asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."
261. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see bạn again."
262. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
263. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to giường now."
264. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with bạn every morning.
265. Recite Dr. Seuss sách all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them loudly and directly to your roommate. If s/he tells bạn to stop, act offended and spend the ngày in bed.
266. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until s/he pays the tickets.
267. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry, little buckaroo. You'll be an toàn, két an toàn with me."
268. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.
269. Paint abstract paintings, and tiêu đề them things like, "Roommate Dying in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel." bình luận often about how much bạn tình yêu the paintings.
270. Wear glasses, and complain that bạn can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the glasses, act like bạn can see fine.
271. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements with your face. Explain to your roommate that bạn have established a connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp. Tell your roommate that "Grandma đã đưa ý kiến 'hi.'"
272. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your collection of "inert gases." Look at them often. One day, act surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released one of the gases. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.
273. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream hysterically for about five phút every time bạn put one on.
274. Rollerskate up and down the hallway. Every time bạn see your roommate, crash into him/her and knock him/her down. Apologize, and say that s/he looked like "the enemy."
275. Put headphones on your roommate while s/he is sleeping, and subliminally teach him/her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.
276. Stick your head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your head crashes through the glass. Then say, "Silly me," open the window again, and try to stick your head through. Act like bạn hit your head on something.
277. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute bạn upon sight. If s/he refuses, insist that s/he do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of bạn any more."
278. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever bạn add to it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that sailboat."
279. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
280. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, diễn xuất like you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved one in danger hoặc a recipe for really great chili.
281. Whenever your roommate has company, walk over into the middle of the room and sit down cross-legged without saying a word. Be oblivious to their presence. Pull a long piece of string out of your pocket, leaving one end still in your pocket. Take the other end and place it in your mouth. Make loud chewing noises as bạn chew on the string. If anybody says anything give them a questioning look, grunt, and continue to chew while staring, unfocused, straight ahead.
282. Buy a copy of Helter Skelter hoặc Silence of the Lambs hoặc any equally gruesomely titled book. Sit in a room with your roommate and read the book (or pretend to) with a highlighter mumbling, "That looks good..." as bạn highlight passages in the book.
283. Every now and then start twitching violently and scream "Snakes, snakes!"
284. Subscribe to as many mailing lists and reply to as much thuyền mành, rác rưởi, rác mail as possible under your roommate's name. Complain that bạn never get mail.
285. Wear your clothing backwards and walk around the room backwards.
286. Carry a pair of walkie-talkies with bạn at all times. Insist that s/he use one when ever s/he wants to talk to you.
287. Play hide and seek with yourself. If your roommate asks what you're doing behind the couch, under the table, etc., look at them exasperatedly, come out of hiding and tell him/her that s/he gave away your hiding place. Refuse to talk to him/her for several hours.
288. Tie bedsheets together into a rope. Use it to get out of the dorm every morning.
289. Steal a tire from a fraternity lawn. Bring it to your room. Bathe it. Name it. Sleep in it.
290. Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, "Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking bạn out.
291. Talk on the phone a lot. Don't pick up the receiver.
292. Talk to your roommate but don't let any sound come out. Get mad at him/her for not listening to you.
293. Ask your roommate if Bob, your invisible friend, can stay the night. If s/he agrees, ask your roommate if s/he can turn down the music. Explain that Bob has a headache.
294. Start a brothel.
295. Constantly slip and fall on your carpet.
296. Post a sign in your bathroom that reads: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." Check every time to make sure s/he follows it.
297. Invite the Dean to sleep over.
298. Invite the school President to sleep over.
299. Invite your roommate to sleep over.
300. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything.
301. Walk into walls.
302. Leave little notes in the vòi hoa sen for him/her.
303. Every time bạn take a shower, yell audibly, "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
304. When your roommate has Những người bạn over, get under your covers and stare at them through a little hole in the covers. Use a telescope.
305. When bạn leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, "I'm watching you."
306. Make a care package for your roommate. Leave the room and ride back and forth outside your window saying, "Speedy Delivery!" until s/he comes out.
307. di chuyển very stiffly and grin. Tell your roommate that you've turned into Gumby.
308. Study computer science and listen to techno while talking about robots taking over the world.
309. Sleep with a trái chuối, chuối (or lemon) and refuse to throw it out even after it rots.
310. Wear a silly hat.
311. Tell him/her that you're committing suicide, and let him/her find some dynamite under your bed.
312. Leave lots of pills in your drawer, and walk around like a zombie.
313. di chuyển your giường around the room once a day, and leave it in a new position every night.
314. Lock your door every time bạn go through it. Tell him/her that you're afraid of aliens.
315. Eat raw mỳ ống, mì ống for dinner.
316. Put bricks in the middle of the room, and explain to him/her that bạn intend to make a fireplace to save electricity.
317. Write letters to yourself from famous people. Mail them to yourself.
318. Arrange your pillows and blankets every night to make it look like bạn are asleep. Do this for three weeks. Buy a cantaloupe and a knife. Stick the dao, con dao in the cantaloupe. Lay it on the cái gối, gối where your head should be.
319. Spend hours in your room on personal hygiene. Spend at least an giờ a ngày clipping your nails, another giờ combing your hair, yet another giờ washing your face and hands, etc.
320. Buy copies of Playgirl if bạn are male, hoặc playboy if bạn are female. Read the magazine very slowly. If your roommate comments, grin and say, "I bought it for the articles."
321. Take a thirty-minute shower. Turn the water off. Go to the toilet for five minutes. Get back in the vòi hoa sen and take another thirty-minute shower. If your roommate comments, shake your head and mutter, "Damn diarrhea."
322. Talk on the phone in gibberish. Use a high-pitched, squeaky tone.
323. Leave morbid outgoing messages on your answering machine. Be creative.
324. When your roommate is about to come home, hide in the closet. Five phút after s/he gets home, walk out. If s/he comments, act as if bạn don't know what s/he's talking about.
325. Carve grotesque, morbid, and/or erotic pictures into your bedframe with a butcher knife.
326. Place porn mags, both soft- and hard-core, around the room. Buy ten hoặc twenty jars of Vaseline. Stack them in a pile in a corner on the floor. Whenever your roommate is expecting company, smear your hands with Vaseline. When greeting them, shake hands vigorously for a minute.
327. Whenever you're talking to your roommate, add extra words to your sentences ("Hey Dan, did bạn turn in your Calculus -lick- homework?"). When talking to other people around your roommate, add his/her name to your conversation ("Can bạn give me the -Dan- notes for Friday's physics class?"). If your roommate comments, act as if bạn don't know what s/he's talking about.
328. Take up playing a musical instrument. Practice constantly in the room, but don't play anything coherent. Play "Hot vượt qua, cross Buns" hoặc similar three-note songs twenty times until bạn get it perfect.
329. Take up cooking. Cook exotic foods from scratch without using any cookbooks hoặc recipes.
330. Come trang chủ at three in the morning wearing shredded jeans and no shirt. Dive into the room and under your bed. Tell your roommate that bạn were being held captive bởi ten Mesopotamian foot soldiers in full battle array.
331. Burn candles at night. Yell at your roommate if s/he turns on any light and claim that they'll scare "your friends" away.
332. Invite your invisible Những người bạn over for a few weeks. Blame them when all his/her bia is gone. Be convincing.
333. Get a Brother P-Touch labeler. Label EVERYTHING!!!
334. Whenever your boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps over, leave wearing his/her clothes.
335. Hide all your roommate's stuff and tell him/her that s/he never lived with you. Extra points if s/he checks with the housing director.
336. Give your roommate a plastic bag. Ask him/her to shit in it because your pet dung beetles are hungry.
337. Borrow your roommate's clothes. Offer to wash them, then act like they were yours all along.
338. Replace his/her toothpaste with Fix-O-Dent.
339. If bạn live on the first floor, refuse to use the door. Climb in and out through the window. Claim doctor's orders.
340. Hide under a pile of dirty clothes in the closet. Twitch a lot and mutter, "They can't suck my brain if they can't find me!"
341. Scratch your head a lot. Pretend to eat the lice bạn find. Offer one to your roommate.
342. Don't vòi hoa sen for three weeks. Complain often about the stench. Demand that your roommate do his/her laundry.
343. Talk about your roommate to the little man who lives in your pocket.
344. Groom yourself like a cat.
345. Build a fort out of bia cans. Refuse to come out until bạn are granted audience with Zontar, High Lord of Saria 3.
346. Organize a black mass. Tell your roommate that the sacrifice backed out at the last một phút and if s/he would volunteer.
347. Say everything in Pig Latin.
348. Save all of your nail clippings. Make sculptures out of them.
349. Refer to yourself in the royal third person.
350. Funnel Pepsi.
351. Spend all of your money on Alvin and the Chipmunks records. Play them constantly. Say that it's an assignment for your "Popular âm nhạc in the Youth Subculture" class.
352. Save the wrappers to everything that bạn eat. Collect them in a ball and store it on your roommate's bed.
353. Paint a mural depicting Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo on your roommate's mattress. Hand it in to your art teacher for a grade.
354. Refuse to wash your underwear. Say that bạn are trying to prove LaMarck's theory of spontaneous generation.
355. Develop ESP. Answer all of your roommate's các câu hỏi before s/he asks them.
356. Make your giường 15 times a day. Sleep on the floor.
357. Save your used tissues. Have snowball fights.
358. Wear sunglasses at night. Bump into things often. Swear loudly.
359. Throw out your bed. di chuyển in with your roommate.
360. Wear all of your clothes backwards.
361. Buy a snake. Give it free reign of the room.
362. Name your books. Call them like chó when it's time to study.
363. Cut the faces out of all your pictures.
364. Hang all of your posters up facing the wall.
365. Pick up the phone every two minutes. Then slam it down and say, "Damn, missed them again!" Continue for two weeks.
366. Dance around the room with underwear on your head while listening to old Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass records. If your roommate các câu hỏi you, throw a pair on his/her head and TANGO!!!
367. Wear quần kaki, khakis and riding boots around the room. Goosestep often.
368. Steal all of your roommate's pens. Make a tower out of them. Bite him/her if s/he tries to get them back.
369. Develop Multiple Personality Disorder. Use your other selves to act out Shakespearean tragedies.
370. Open the window. After 30 minutes, complain about the cold and open it wider.
371. Two words: Nudist colony.
372. Listen to Morrisey. Be happy before, during, and after bạn listen.
373. Tattoo your roommate's name on your butt. Insist that s/he do the same for you.
374. Get a loft. Sleep hanging upside down from it like a bat.
375. Play Dungeons and Những câu chuyện về rồng a lot. (A lot means that bạn should own a sword, and at some time during the năm bạn should dress up as your character.)
376. Wear Underoos.
377. Carve a large phallus. Pray to it daily.
378. Walk around with a hot dog sticking out of your fly. Act like it isn't there.
379. Put a chamber pot in your closet. Fill it with lemon-lime Gatorade. Pretend to use it. Drink from it and offer your roommate a cup.
380. Make your finger talk to you. Write backwards on the walls.
381. Constantly ask your roommate, "Do bạn feel lucky?" while fingering a bulge under your jacket.
382. Put peas in the toilet everytime bạn go to the bathroom.
383. Listen to nothing but obscure Broadway musicals. Learn all the words and sing along. Be sure to do all the different voices.
384. Get a copy of your roommate's car key. Turn his/her car around in its parking space. A few days later, di chuyển it to the tiếp theo space. A few days after that, di chuyển it two spaces over. Continue until bạn start moving the car to a different lot.
385. Shave off one of your eyebrows. Buy a doll hoặc plush animal and shave one of its eyebrows as well. Whenever bạn enter the room, give a secret salute and handshake to the toy. Sit with it for hours and talk loudly about the folly of the two-eyebrowed ones.
386. Open a can of his/her beans hoặc spaghetti, empty it into his/her giường and then replace the can in the cupboard.
387. Replace the fuses in his electrical equipment with a lower rating.
388. di chuyển all of his furniture outside. Tell him/her that it was such a nice ngày out, bạn wanted to be sure s/he enjoyed it.
389. Eat jewelry. Accessorize food.
390. Smash your roommate's yêu thích cassettes and bọc the tape around your naked body, running around the apartment screaming "Fly, be free! Fly, be free!"
391. Watch TV at least 15 hours a day. Before doing so, turn the set around so it faces the wall. Watch the back of it.
392. Invite your roommate to play catch out in the yard. Every time bạn catch the ball, catch it near your head. Fall to the ground screaming.
393. Frantically scribble something on paper. When finished, eat it. Start again.
394. Complain about your menstral cramps. Loudly. This works best, of course, if bạn happen to be male.
395. Make some cơm, gạo for dinner. Pause suddenly, spit out a mouthful and scream "Maggots! Maggots!" Blame your roommate. When done, make thêm cơm, gạo and finish eating.
396. Try to convince your roommate that bạn are indeed Louis XVI of France. Every time he grabs a dao, con dao hoặc cuts something scream in terror and go running out of the apartment clutching your neck.
397. Pretend bạn are Jan Brady. (Marsha Marsha Marsha!)
398. When talking to him/her, alternate between being exceedingly polite and disgustingly rude every sentence.
399. Scratch yourself and others. Stop when bạn draw blood.
400. Play violent games with imaginary friends.
401. Communicate using only your eyebrows and tongue.
402. Ask your roommate to pose for a portrait. Leave.
403. Sacrifice vegetables in the middle of the room.
404. Worship the Professor and Mary Ann.
405. Hang your roommate in effigy.
406. Never allow your roommate's head to be below yours.
407. Pretend your arms and legs have been amputated. Insist that bạn "cannot wipe."
408. Speak at length about your lust for Pippi Longstocking as your roommate tries to fall asleep.
409. Sit in the room all weekend rubbing a baseball bat. When your roommate enters the room, close your eyes and rub as fast as bạn can.
410. Complain vehemently that pedophilia legislation is "too restrictive."
411. Find out your roommate's mother's name. Tatoo it on your inner thigh, then claim, "She made me do it!"
412. When your roommate has been awake for several minutes, run up to him/her screaming "Rashes! Rashes!" as loud as bạn can. Repeat during classes.
413. Light your hair on fire. Refuse to put it out.
414. Keep a harem of thirty Cabbage Patch Kids. Ask if your roommate "has any desires."
415. While your roommate sleeps, insert straws into his/her nose. If s/he removes them, administer CPR.
416. Repeat everything your roommate says, but without the consonants.
417. When your roommate enters the room, chain yourself to the giường and make beckoning gestures. Look demure.
418. Go through his/her sách hilighting all instances of the words "death" and "children." Insist that he study them.
419. Go through medical supply catalogs circling all electric drill and suction devices. Leave them (the catalogs, not the devices) lying around.
420. Administer last rites as s/he sleeps.
421. Quote Bob Barker at length.
422. Wear decoder rings. Insist that s/he Kiss them.
423. Wear a hard hat at all times. Remove it when your roommate enters the room and dive under the bed.
424. Pretend to administer electro-schock therapy as s/he studies.
425. Whenever s/he has Những người bạn over, complain loudly about his/her hygiene. Be graphic.
426. Paint targets on the back of all his/her shirts. Buy a crossbow.
427. When bạn write, use the wrong end of the pen. Ask him/her why it doesn't work. When s/he explains it to you, nod thoughtfully and say, "OK, I've got it." Turn the paper over, and try again.
428. Remove the shelves from the refrigerator. Sit inside, moaning periodically.

429. Leave urgent telephone messages for him/her when no one has called.
430. Give unsolicited sensual massages at least once daily.
431. Go for joy-rides in the washing machine.
432. Pack your roommate's clothing in ice overnight. Put it back in the dresser before s/he wakes up.
433. Carry a crowbar with bạn at all times. Dress it.
434. Do all your homework in the bathroom, using the toilet as a desk.
435. Carry an electric người hâm mộ at all times. Speak into it.
436. Follow your roommate around all ngày whispering, "I can reach where bạn can't."
437. Write on your arms and legs with coarse sandpaper.
438. Nail meat to the walls. thịt ba rọi, thịt xông khói is best.
439. Collect cow tongues. Paint them. Nail them up tiếp theo to the bacon.
440. Try to eat your own ear.
441. Lie spread-eagled on your roommate's bed. Make him/her di chuyển you.
442. Chase your roommate with a bloody toothbrush. Tell him/her "It only hurts for a little while."
443. Lick his/her feet as he sleeps. If s/he wakes up, apologize. After s/he falls asleep, start licking his/her face.
444. Call him/her Mommy.
445. Invite your roommate's parents to a "surprise" party for your roommate. When they get there, stone them.
446. Buy a gerbil. Go into your room and close the door. Hide the gerbil in the closet, and then giggle and squirm uncontrollably for the rest of the day.
447. Put tapes/CDs in the stereo and listen to them with the volume off. Replace them regularly. Tell your roommate to be quiet so bạn can hear.
448. Stand behind him/her while he brushes his teeth. When s/he takes the brush out of his/her mouth, force it back in.
449. Announce everything bạn do as a group activity. (i.e. "We're going to giường now.") If your roommate fails to do whatever bạn said, accuse him/her of not being a "team player."
450. Every giờ on the hour, call to get the time. Reset each of your clocks to the second. Remark that your roommate has no respect for the virtue of being prompt.
451. Plug your telephone handset into your modem's in jack. Make the modem noises into the handset. ("Wheeeheeeeooooaiyeee...") Complain about how your stupid computer never works.
452. Develop partial amnesia each time bạn go to sleep. When bạn wake up, claim to have forgotten anything regarding your roommate. Spend hours finding out everything about him/her, and just before bạn go to bed, say bạn think bạn and s/he will be great friends. When bạn wake up, claim to have forgotten anything regarding your roommate...
453. When your roommate leaves the room, raid his/her bít tất, sock drawer. Switch one of each pair of your roommate's socks with one of your own.
454. Buy a bunch of T-shirts with flamboyant designs. Wear them inside out. Look in the mirror often and say, "This looked so much better in the store..."
455. Watch TV continually. Change channels so that bạn only see the commercials. Memorize the commercials verbatim and chant them after lights out.
456. Spell out the last word of each sentence bạn say to your roommate.
457. Learn Morse code. Adopt it as your sole method of communication.
458. Announce on the answering machine that your roommate has moved out. Tell anyone who calls for him/her not to call here anymore.
459. When your roommate is out of the room, di chuyển his/her possessions over to your side of the room. When s/he returns, throw the things back over to your roommate's side, angrily telling him/her, "Stop invading my space."
460. Redivide the room horizontally. Claim bạn want the bottom half.
461. Eat lots of alphabet soup. Throw out any of the letters that are in your roommate's name; claim bạn want nothing to do with them.
462. Count down the days till the tiếp theo full moon. Whenever bạn vượt qua, cross out another day, get a wild look in your eyes and mutter, "Soon...so very soon..."
463. Read your textbooks aloud. Ask your roommate for help on big words.
464. soạn thảo an obituary for your roommate. Keep it đã đăng in a conspicuous place and update it frequently. báo cáo the ngày of death as one week before the end of the semester.
465. Give your roommate a jar of peanuts. Wait until s/he has eaten half of them, then explain they used to be chocolate-covered, but bạn licked all the Sô cô la off of them. As an aside, mention that bạn are coming down with the flu.
466. Explain that bạn need to sell your giường to make ends meet. Ask if bạn can sleep in your roommate's bed. If s/he refuses, ask if bạn can sell his/her giường instead.
467. Two words: pet liverwurst.
468. di chuyển all of your possessions to your roommate's side of the room, and all of his/her possessions to your side. di chuyển everything back the tiếp theo day. Do this each ngày for a week.
469. If your roommate has cans of Chef Boyardee, buy dog thực phẩm in similar-size cans. Switch the labels.
470. Hold a raffle with your roommate as the prize.
471. Five phút after bạn go to bed, claim that bạn think the Boogeyman is hiding in your closet. Make your roommate check the closet. Five phút later, claim he is hiding under your bed. Make your roommate check. Repeat as desired.
472. Dress as similarly as possible like your roommate. Walk closely tiếp theo to him/her the whole day, remarking "Don't we look like twins?" to any passersby.
473. Do impressions all the time. Good ones to try: Mr. T, Gilbert Gottfried, Judy Tenuta, Roseanne Barr.
474. Become a secret agent for a week. Eat every piece of paper after đọc it. Speak into your lapel. Accuse your roommate of stealing the secret plans to the world's greatest battlestation. Carry a gun.
475. Become a mime. Nothing is thêm annoying than a mime.
And at Christmastime...
476. Claim bạn were a giáng sinh cây in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and trash on the floor.
477. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
478. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.
479. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."
480. Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters hoặc leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
481. Hang a vớ, thả, còn hàng with your roommate's name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "You've been very naughty this year."
482. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how bạn never get to tham gia in on the reindeer games.
483. Make conversation out of giáng sinh Carols. (i.e. "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")
484. bọc yourself in giáng sinh lights and roll around in the snow.
485. Sing: "All I want for giáng sinh is my roommate's two front teeth..."
486. Give your roommate the gifts from the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song.
487. Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically, "It didn't work!"
488. Whip your roommate screaming "Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen..."
489. Tear down all your roommate's giáng sinh decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"
490. Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of giáng sinh Future, please have mercy on my soul!"
491. Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying bạn a house on 34th Street.
492. Pin a pointsettia to your lapel.
493. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.
494. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's Những người bạn "give it a yank."
495. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "Every time a chuông, bell rings an Angel gets his wings."
496. Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the Grinch lấy trộm, đánh cắp Christmas" over and over in your
497. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "He sees bạn when you're sleeping..."
498. Steal a life-size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."
499. When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her posessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.
500. Smoke mistletoe. Do whatever comes naturally.