1. It’s OK to kill people.
2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.
3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.
4. Medicine became obsolete in the năm 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a tường caused human health to regenerate to 100%.
5. Eating stuff found on the floor is good for bạn – your parents were wrong.
6. Sometime in the future, Earth will be menaced bởi hordes of alien spacecraft that fly in predictable patterns and can be killed in one hit. The logical course of action will be to dispatch one Công chúa tóc xù hero in an untested plane/tank/spaceship to take them all on without help.
7. Winners don’t use drugs.
8. Buildings may have crates full of goodies on their roofs, so always check, even if it means riding a motorbike up the ngọn lửa, chữa cháy escape.
9. Enemies, rather than approach bạn directly, behave like Michael Flatley (of Riverdance fame) on a conveyor belt.
10. Keycards are only manufactured in primary colors.
11. Tanks will go faster if bạn turn the tháp nhỏ, tháp pháo backwards and keep firing.
12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.
13. Most guards forget bạn unsuccessfully tried to strangle them after walking around for 20 seconds.
14. It’s surprising just how useful martial arts are on the modern battlefield.
15. When bạn get shot, bạn don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.
16. If a crown princess is abducted bởi political dissidents hoặc terrorists it is advisable to avoid using Special Forces and instead hire the services of an Italian plumber hoặc a dizzy egg.
17. Firearms are most simply reloaded bởi pointing them at the tường and pulling the trigger.
18. Crates only contain one single item, much smaller than the thùng itself. The item will usually be in the dead centre of the thùng with no supporting packing material.
19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way bạn came. You’ve clearly missed something.
21. Wrexham can win the Champions League if bạn have about 483 full days to spare, 80% of which are spent waiting for CM04 to load (non-UK folk may not get this one).
22. Jumping on turtles’ heads is socially acceptable. Unless it’s being used as a euphemism for needing the toilet.
23. Contrary to được ưa chuộng belief, bạn don’t gain experience and knowledge bởi education and hard work. bạn get it from wandering around the countryside killing wildlife.
24. Princesses float farther than plumbers.
25. Despite what logic dictates, the ideal shape for a war robot is not squat, armored, with a low centre of gravity, but a bipedal humanoid. Ideally with hands to hold a gun, rather than built in weaponry.
26. Large men are slow but strong; women are fast but weak.
27. When bạn look down, bạn can’t see your feet.
28. Explosives don’t work on doors unless they’re a bit shinier than the other doors.
29. If working on high scaffolding, beware of gorillas throwing barrels off the hàng đầu, đầu trang floor.
30. No girls.
31. Always be sure to smash any crates bạn come across, they will always contain good things.
32. Despite the fact that modern weapons systems are effective over hundreds of miles, in the future all space/air/sea combat will be conducted within about 50 yards of the enemy.
33. Contrary to the strict regulations bạn might think pilots have to adhere to, bạn can actually fly any aircraft upside down beneath the Golden Gate Bridge without getting in trouble.
34. War is the best fun ever.
35. It doesn’t matter where bạn shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as bạn do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.
36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.
37. In medieval times, women regularly fought in wars, wearing armor that afforded them equal protection to Luật sư đấu trí of plate mail worn bởi men, despite only covering about 3 inches of skin.
38. Most martial arts will teach bạn how to throw fireballs at about green thắt lưng, vành đai level.
39. Roman and medieval generals had a zoomable and rotatable 3D view of the battlefield, and controlled their soldiers bởi clicking giant arrows.
40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.
41. When your life ends bạn will be được trao 10 giây to decide whether bạn fancy going again (in some circumstances this may cost bạn some change).
42. As long as bạn are wearing at least one ring bạn will never die.
43. Pulling out a weapon makes bạn see a + sign wherever bạn look.
44. Running from side to side hoặc backwards is just as easy and quick as running forwards.
45. Never trust a giant monkey wearing a tie.
46. Graveyard zombies are predatory homosexuals, who’ll strip bạn down to your Y-fronts.
47. Bus-loads of people will turn up to a mostly empty field to see a man in a hippo costume stand tiếp theo to a mail box.
48. Fat people are always evil. If not from the beginning, they will betray bạn eventually.
49. bạn can only use a pair of skis once and the only cửa hàng selling them at resorts is invariably on the other side of a busy motorway with no visible means of a pedestrian thoroughfare.
50. Not only is it perfectly normal for động vật to talk, but their default attitude is “sassy”.
51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future bởi building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.
52. bạn know when bạn have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for bạn to decapitate him.
53. Prostitutes will judge bạn on the fanciness of your car and give bạn 25% bonus health post-sex. This is only in the pre-AIDS ’80s. In 2008, bạn will be tsk-ed at bởi an Eastern European, which makes bạn feel sick and guilty, even though you’ve been stabbing people all day.
54. Karate and driving can both be learned in phút simply bởi repeating sequential dance routines as requested bởi cartoon animals.
55. Wearing a pair of white gloves to work every ngày may seem an unwise choice if your chosen career is plumbing, but, in reality, bạn will never have to dirty your pristine mitts bởi fishing a swollen, fetid tampon from a shit-clogged outflow pipe.
56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if bạn wait for a few seconds.
57. Explosives are not stored, as bạn might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing tiếp theo to them.
58. Doing athletics really hurts your wrist after a while.
59. bạn can’t ever trip, even when running backwards as fast as bạn can while firing a shotgun.
60. World War II infantry jargon included such phrases as “lol”, “n00b” and “OMG HaXXoR!!11!” Modern counter-terrorist SWAT teams use the same phrases.
61. People wink out of existence when you’re not there to see them.
62. On the whole, bạn can withstand a lot thêm bullets/punches/magic compared to the other guy.
63. Always shut the door behind you, especially if it looks like it might snow later on.
64. bạn don’t need scintillating conversation get on in life. Two-word commands will do fine.
65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.
66. Being on the goodies’ side doesn’t automatically make bạn winners of The War.
67. bạn can up your bank balance $1,000 at a time bởi chanting ‘FUND’.
68. Kick enough chó con and you’ll eventually gain the strength, wisdom and dexterity to take on ninjas.
69. thực phẩm can heal most serious injuries instantly.
70. Even cyborgs/ninjas/special agents able to smash whole cities with their fists and defeat the mightiest opponent in close combat are stumped when confronted with a locked door hoặc box, and have to go find the key.
71. âm nhạc spontaneously plays whenever bạn do anything exciting.
72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and ngọn lửa, chữa cháy wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.
73. If bạn notice a discolored section on a brick wall, try running up really close and pressing on it, for it may give way and lead bạn to a secret cache of weapons and armor.
74. Bullet holes will gradually disappear, foiling your attempts to draw a c--k and balls on the ground with a machine gun.
75. When you’ve run out of thực phẩm and stuff, just leave the house and then go back in again.
76. When bạn kill people, sometimes they turn into thực phẩm hoặc money. hoặc some bullets.
77. bạn can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.
78. When crawling along air-conditioning ducts, if bạn go phía trước, chuyển tiếp and back a few times bạn may hoặc may not see a pair of tits.
79. First aid kits can be applied to your injuries in under a second, and will instantly fix your injuries and make bạn healthier.
80. Flashlights only last for one minute, but thankfully recharge themselves over time.
81. If you’re in a lâu đài looking for a Mất tích loved one, they’re in another one.
82. If you’re good enough at trading/bartering – every single cửa hàng in the world will reduce their prices specially for you.
83. bạn can lead a fulfilling and adventurous life, and keep several friends, without ever opening your mouth.
84. bạn can shoot open a padlock, but locks on wooden doors only ever leave a dent.
85. It is possible to carry an infinite amount of items, including a full sunday roast spread, for no adequately explored reason, without impeding either your speed hoặc clothing.
86. “Sho-ryu-ken!” is the best opening line to start a punch-up in a pub.
87. Conversation is easy! Just think of two hoặc three possible responses, and pick the one bạn think will lead to the greatest reward.
88. Firing a rocket launcher straight into the floor is an excellent idea, and will get bạn cool stuff, provided bạn jump into the air as bạn do it.
89. Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are lithe, slim, and have very large breasts.
90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.
91. The owners of theme parks/zoos/hospitals are able to pick up visitors to their attractions with a giant grapple, and drown them in lakes without penalty.
92. Being shot in the face is only a minor inconvenience, but going into an area bạn are not supposed to will result in instant death.
93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.
94. The được ưa chuộng third dimension was introduced in the ’80s, before which you’d simply shrink and di chuyển thêm slowly to convey distance.
95. bạn can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if bạn carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that cô ca can.
96. If someone bạn don’t like is in a swimming pool, simply remove the steps to get out. Then they will be stuck and drown through exhaustion.
97. Frogs die in water.
98. bạn can gaze at a woman’s tits for hours on end without either of bạn becoming embarrassed. However, attempts to mount her from every side like a determined St. Bernard will always result in bạn bouncing off her textured hide.
99. If bạn win a really big fight, don’t relax until you’ve made sure there isn’t a much thêm powerful robot version of your late opponent lurking in a corner.
100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.
101. Comprehensive military training can be acquired simply bởi climbing a rope, crouching and firing down a range a few times.
2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.
3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.
4. Medicine became obsolete in the năm 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a tường caused human health to regenerate to 100%.
5. Eating stuff found on the floor is good for bạn – your parents were wrong.
6. Sometime in the future, Earth will be menaced bởi hordes of alien spacecraft that fly in predictable patterns and can be killed in one hit. The logical course of action will be to dispatch one Công chúa tóc xù hero in an untested plane/tank/spaceship to take them all on without help.
7. Winners don’t use drugs.
8. Buildings may have crates full of goodies on their roofs, so always check, even if it means riding a motorbike up the ngọn lửa, chữa cháy escape.
9. Enemies, rather than approach bạn directly, behave like Michael Flatley (of Riverdance fame) on a conveyor belt.
10. Keycards are only manufactured in primary colors.
11. Tanks will go faster if bạn turn the tháp nhỏ, tháp pháo backwards and keep firing.
12. Anything in the world can be made from food, wood and gold.
13. Most guards forget bạn unsuccessfully tried to strangle them after walking around for 20 seconds.
14. It’s surprising just how useful martial arts are on the modern battlefield.
15. When bạn get shot, bạn don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.
16. If a crown princess is abducted bởi political dissidents hoặc terrorists it is advisable to avoid using Special Forces and instead hire the services of an Italian plumber hoặc a dizzy egg.
17. Firearms are most simply reloaded bởi pointing them at the tường and pulling the trigger.
18. Crates only contain one single item, much smaller than the thùng itself. The item will usually be in the dead centre of the thùng with no supporting packing material.
19. If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way bạn came. You’ve clearly missed something.
21. Wrexham can win the Champions League if bạn have about 483 full days to spare, 80% of which are spent waiting for CM04 to load (non-UK folk may not get this one).
22. Jumping on turtles’ heads is socially acceptable. Unless it’s being used as a euphemism for needing the toilet.
23. Contrary to được ưa chuộng belief, bạn don’t gain experience and knowledge bởi education and hard work. bạn get it from wandering around the countryside killing wildlife.
24. Princesses float farther than plumbers.
25. Despite what logic dictates, the ideal shape for a war robot is not squat, armored, with a low centre of gravity, but a bipedal humanoid. Ideally with hands to hold a gun, rather than built in weaponry.
26. Large men are slow but strong; women are fast but weak.
27. When bạn look down, bạn can’t see your feet.
28. Explosives don’t work on doors unless they’re a bit shinier than the other doors.
29. If working on high scaffolding, beware of gorillas throwing barrels off the hàng đầu, đầu trang floor.
30. No girls.
31. Always be sure to smash any crates bạn come across, they will always contain good things.
32. Despite the fact that modern weapons systems are effective over hundreds of miles, in the future all space/air/sea combat will be conducted within about 50 yards of the enemy.
33. Contrary to the strict regulations bạn might think pilots have to adhere to, bạn can actually fly any aircraft upside down beneath the Golden Gate Bridge without getting in trouble.
34. War is the best fun ever.
35. It doesn’t matter where bạn shoot someone, even if it’s in the foot, as long as bạn do it enough times there will eventually be an immediate transition between alive and dead.
36. There is no practical difference between walking into a weapon and picking it up.
37. In medieval times, women regularly fought in wars, wearing armor that afforded them equal protection to Luật sư đấu trí of plate mail worn bởi men, despite only covering about 3 inches of skin.
38. Most martial arts will teach bạn how to throw fireballs at about green thắt lưng, vành đai level.
39. Roman and medieval generals had a zoomable and rotatable 3D view of the battlefield, and controlled their soldiers bởi clicking giant arrows.
40. Everyone speaks English, including Nazis, aliens and the living dead.
41. When your life ends bạn will be được trao 10 giây to decide whether bạn fancy going again (in some circumstances this may cost bạn some change).
42. As long as bạn are wearing at least one ring bạn will never die.
43. Pulling out a weapon makes bạn see a + sign wherever bạn look.
44. Running from side to side hoặc backwards is just as easy and quick as running forwards.
45. Never trust a giant monkey wearing a tie.
46. Graveyard zombies are predatory homosexuals, who’ll strip bạn down to your Y-fronts.
47. Bus-loads of people will turn up to a mostly empty field to see a man in a hippo costume stand tiếp theo to a mail box.
48. Fat people are always evil. If not from the beginning, they will betray bạn eventually.
49. bạn can only use a pair of skis once and the only cửa hàng selling them at resorts is invariably on the other side of a busy motorway with no visible means of a pedestrian thoroughfare.
50. Not only is it perfectly normal for động vật to talk, but their default attitude is “sassy”.
51. Modern tank warfare will be replaced in the future bởi building a very large number of tanks on the battlefield itself, then attacking the enemy’s strongest point head-on with hundreds of them at once.
52. bạn know when bạn have won a fight when your opponent stands still, waiting for bạn to decapitate him.
53. Prostitutes will judge bạn on the fanciness of your car and give bạn 25% bonus health post-sex. This is only in the pre-AIDS ’80s. In 2008, bạn will be tsk-ed at bởi an Eastern European, which makes bạn feel sick and guilty, even though you’ve been stabbing people all day.
54. Karate and driving can both be learned in phút simply bởi repeating sequential dance routines as requested bởi cartoon animals.
55. Wearing a pair of white gloves to work every ngày may seem an unwise choice if your chosen career is plumbing, but, in reality, bạn will never have to dirty your pristine mitts bởi fishing a swollen, fetid tampon from a shit-clogged outflow pipe.
56. The bodies of your murdered victims will fade and disappear if bạn wait for a few seconds.
57. Explosives are not stored, as bạn might expect, in secure containers in controlled environments, but in barrels that are littered around combat zones at random. Highly-trained evil soldiers are quite happy to engage in sustained fire-fights while standing tiếp theo to them.
58. Doing athletics really hurts your wrist after a while.
59. bạn can’t ever trip, even when running backwards as fast as bạn can while firing a shotgun.
60. World War II infantry jargon included such phrases as “lol”, “n00b” and “OMG HaXXoR!!11!” Modern counter-terrorist SWAT teams use the same phrases.
61. People wink out of existence when you’re not there to see them.
62. On the whole, bạn can withstand a lot thêm bullets/punches/magic compared to the other guy.
63. Always shut the door behind you, especially if it looks like it might snow later on.
64. bạn don’t need scintillating conversation get on in life. Two-word commands will do fine.
65. Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.
66. Being on the goodies’ side doesn’t automatically make bạn winners of The War.
67. bạn can up your bank balance $1,000 at a time bởi chanting ‘FUND’.
68. Kick enough chó con and you’ll eventually gain the strength, wisdom and dexterity to take on ninjas.
69. thực phẩm can heal most serious injuries instantly.
70. Even cyborgs/ninjas/special agents able to smash whole cities with their fists and defeat the mightiest opponent in close combat are stumped when confronted with a locked door hoặc box, and have to go find the key.
71. âm nhạc spontaneously plays whenever bạn do anything exciting.
72. Modern military training teaches that the best way to defeat an enemy is to stand stock still in plain view of the enemy and ngọn lửa, chữa cháy wildly. Making sinister noises to reveal your location is good, too.
73. If bạn notice a discolored section on a brick wall, try running up really close and pressing on it, for it may give way and lead bạn to a secret cache of weapons and armor.
74. Bullet holes will gradually disappear, foiling your attempts to draw a c--k and balls on the ground with a machine gun.
75. When you’ve run out of thực phẩm and stuff, just leave the house and then go back in again.
76. When bạn kill people, sometimes they turn into thực phẩm hoặc money. hoặc some bullets.
77. bạn can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.
78. When crawling along air-conditioning ducts, if bạn go phía trước, chuyển tiếp and back a few times bạn may hoặc may not see a pair of tits.
79. First aid kits can be applied to your injuries in under a second, and will instantly fix your injuries and make bạn healthier.
80. Flashlights only last for one minute, but thankfully recharge themselves over time.
81. If you’re in a lâu đài looking for a Mất tích loved one, they’re in another one.
82. If you’re good enough at trading/bartering – every single cửa hàng in the world will reduce their prices specially for you.
83. bạn can lead a fulfilling and adventurous life, and keep several friends, without ever opening your mouth.
84. bạn can shoot open a padlock, but locks on wooden doors only ever leave a dent.
85. It is possible to carry an infinite amount of items, including a full sunday roast spread, for no adequately explored reason, without impeding either your speed hoặc clothing.
86. “Sho-ryu-ken!” is the best opening line to start a punch-up in a pub.
87. Conversation is easy! Just think of two hoặc three possible responses, and pick the one bạn think will lead to the greatest reward.
88. Firing a rocket launcher straight into the floor is an excellent idea, and will get bạn cool stuff, provided bạn jump into the air as bạn do it.
89. Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are lithe, slim, and have very large breasts.
90. The world is packed with unexplored ruins, most of which are packed to the rafters with treasure. Despite this, no one has yet bothered to explore them.
91. The owners of theme parks/zoos/hospitals are able to pick up visitors to their attractions with a giant grapple, and drown them in lakes without penalty.
92. Being shot in the face is only a minor inconvenience, but going into an area bạn are not supposed to will result in instant death.
93. Nazis/Alien Invaders/Evil Megacorps are always leaving medical supplies around for their opponents to heal themselves with. Their own soldiers are under strict instruction not to touch them. Ever.
94. The được ưa chuộng third dimension was introduced in the ’80s, before which you’d simply shrink and di chuyển thêm slowly to convey distance.
95. bạn can probably fit another rocket launcher in your rucksack if bạn carefully rearrange those four ammo clips and that cô ca can.
96. If someone bạn don’t like is in a swimming pool, simply remove the steps to get out. Then they will be stuck and drown through exhaustion.
97. Frogs die in water.
98. bạn can gaze at a woman’s tits for hours on end without either of bạn becoming embarrassed. However, attempts to mount her from every side like a determined St. Bernard will always result in bạn bouncing off her textured hide.
99. If bạn win a really big fight, don’t relax until you’ve made sure there isn’t a much thêm powerful robot version of your late opponent lurking in a corner.
100. “Ninja” is the most common occupation on the planet, just above “Secret Agent” and “Alien in Disguise”.
101. Comprehensive military training can be acquired simply bởi climbing a rope, crouching and firing down a range a few times.
BOOBLESS (55378008)
HIGH (4614)
HOBO (0804)
LESBO (09537)
hello (01134)
shell (77345)
Hi (14)
BOOB (8008)
LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại (101)
so (05)
_______________________________
Well i'm geting tired of that :P
Hahahaha
bạn won't ever know them hoặc will bạn >.>
Plz comment
hoặc i will eat you
i will
i promise
O_O i left my sandmich in the oven
OH NO!!!!!
I BLAM bạn HANNAH MONTANAH!
AND bạn TO JB!
ALONG WITH BARNEY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT MADE A ngọn lửa, chữa cháy WERES THE ngọn lửa, chữa cháy THINGY!
HIGH (4614)
HOBO (0804)
LESBO (09537)
hello (01134)
shell (77345)
Hi (14)
BOOB (8008)
LOL – Liên minh huyền thoại (101)
so (05)
_______________________________
Well i'm geting tired of that :P
Hahahaha
bạn won't ever know them hoặc will bạn >.>
Plz comment
hoặc i will eat you
i will
i promise
O_O i left my sandmich in the oven
OH NO!!!!!
I BLAM bạn HANNAH MONTANAH!
AND bạn TO JB!
ALONG WITH BARNEY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT MADE A ngọn lửa, chữa cháy WERES THE ngọn lửa, chữa cháy THINGY!
