People im making a story n i need ure opinion on the part i made!!!!

So i decided 2 make my first story(wooohoo) n a funny one...il post a small part off the 1st chapter....oh and sorry if my english is bad....il fix it when i finish it...feel free to criticise

the storys about a guy nicknamed failo couse he fails a lot....his full name is michael Mc Ground,the story follows him in a pcyho n sick adventures
"AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FAIL"
It was a stormy n cold night,rain had no intentions of stoping. I was looking out the window n i saw an old man in the rain.i feelt sorry n sad for him,so i pulled up my curtains n i layed in my giường to watch the tv. I was watching the news n i saw tht an abandoned mine was still full of vàng n diamonds.i decided to go in it tonight before its reopened.

So thats the part....what do ya think????