ngẫu nhiên Article: Read some very funny answering machine messages

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Read some very funny answering machine messages

posted by australia-101

These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to bạn as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If bạn are the phone company, I already sent the money. If bạn are my parents, please send money. If bạn are my financial aid institution, bạn didn't lend me enough money. If bạn are my friends, bạn owe me money. If bạn are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now bạn say something.

5. Hi, I'm not trang chủ right now, but my answering machine is, so bạn can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If bạn leave a message, I'll call bạn soon. If bạn leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, bạn are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows hoặc a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait bởi your phone until I call bạn back.

13. If bạn are a burglar, then we're probably at trang chủ cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't trang chủ and it's an toàn, két an toàn to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, bạn have the right to remain silent. Everything bạn say will be recorded and will be used bởi us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

deathding, jordanyeaboi and 7 others like this

JudyRro Picture this: machine learning, with https://gowombat.team/machine-learning expertise, becomes the comedy scriptwriter for your data. It doesn't just analyze; it understands patterns, learns from the data's quirks, and delivers insights with a touch of wit. The result is a symphony of intelligence that transforms raw data into a delightful narrative

3

NikPiks QuikPiks - What Punk Actually Means

posted by windwakerguy430

So the punk scene, what a scene it is. Big mohawks, piercings, and a bad attitude that all those phim chiếu rạp and annoyed parents warned us about. But seriously, it’s not all that. Nowadays, punk has become nothing thêm than a front for stores like Hot Topic to make a quick buck off of and unless your Green Day, most of your venues are a small bar if they’re lucky. What is the kind of thing punk is mistaken for, what is it really, and just what happened to it all? Well, that’s what I am here to talk about today. Sadly, don’t expect a huge analysis on this one. This is merely a myriad of thoughts...

My favourite scene in Mirror Mirror

posted by andy10B

The one thing missing in Snow White and the seven dwarfs is any communication between Snow White and the Evil Queen . Unlike in Disney's Lọ lem and Công chúa tóc mây all of whom are step mum verses step daughter. Two different people Snow White kind, happy and a giving person, whilst the Queen is a harsh, mean and only cares for herself.

In Mirror Mirror there is a brilliant hiển thị of this in one of the first scenes.

So Snow White is 18 today. She is sad, lonely and bored in her bedroom, a bird pops in and so Snow White feeds it, then she hears a fanfare coming from downstairs. Snow gets excited...

Elijah Jones set for new album promotion in September?

posted by seattlelivin

Elijah Jones, 2019 album? and K-12?

Recently, Jones had released an interesting pastel and aesthetic looking bức ảnh on his channel with his name entitled on it. The pastel bức ảnh was of a cái gối, gối and trích dẫn expressing "I haven't gone anywhere... I've been teasing. I don't know if bạn guys are ready for what is about to be in store.."

We think that Jones's tiếp theo promotional album will actually be K-12 bởi Melanie Martinez. As subjected from a người hâm mộ account. This would make sense because in January 2019 Jones released a đàn piano song entitled "Teddy Bear" it is a referenced look to the new surprise promotion this year.

Upon the quotes....

Michael Sheen on The Great Comic Relief Bake Off

added by Blaze1213IsBack

Animated Movies, as well as Giải cứu thế giới and Villains of the năm 2000 Scorecards

posted by 99148770

There are the danh sách of Animated phim chiếu rạp of the năm 2000 Scorecard.

There is the opinion of the scorecard, no matter, When bạn love, like, neutral, dislike hoặc hate the movies.

List:

*Chicken Run (Aardman) - Love
*Rugrats In Paris: The Movie (Nickelodeon) - Love
*The Emperor's New Groove (Disney) - Like
*The Road To El Dorado (Dreamworks) - Like

There are the danh sách of Animated Movie Protagonists of the năm 2000 Scorecard.

List:

*Ginger The Hen (Chicken Run, Aardman) - Love
*Chuckie Finster (Rugrats In Paris: The Movie, Nickelodeon) - Love
*Kuzco (The Emperor's New Groove, Disney) - Neutral
*Tulio and Miguel...

1

NikPiks - Into the Spiderverse: An Animated Masterpiece

posted by windwakerguy430

Date: December 2017. A new trailer for Spider-Man is announced, a film known as Into the Spiderverse. The trailer looks insane and I’m already hyped. I can’t wait to see Peter Parker in his first theatrical animated feature…. Oh, it’s Miles Morales, the guy who was in a lot of really, really bad comic books… O-Oh, okay. Well, from what I see, Sony is making it. What other animated features did they make this year……… bạn all know what. So yeah, Sony, Miles, my confidence in Hollywood at its lowest point possible… Yeah, I see nothing but good. But wait… Phil Lord and Chris...

1

A Somewhat Thing: 1. Room of Useless Memories

posted by pLaStIcSUNDAE

"Let...me...out."

"Let. M-me. In."

Number 05 fell back into a lean against the stony, plain gray tường behind her, still attempting to focus the blurriness in her swollen right eye. Though she herself couldn't see it, she knew that it probably looked just as bad as it felt.
Meanwhile, her good eye could still see the man who sat in the middle of the small box of a room, the flickering light above them swinging back and forth dismally.
She could see the back of his head shifting, large lumps crawling around frantically beneath his scalp like a house full of rats under a pale and stained comforter....

project blue beam

posted by MeiMisty

by Serge Monast
Originally Published 1994

from EducateYourSelf Website

Serge Monast and another journalist, both of whom were researching Project Blue Beam, died of "heart attacks" within weeks of each other although neither had a history of tim, trái tim disease. Serge was in Canada.

The other Canadian journalist was visiting Ireland. Prior to his death, the Canadian government abducted Serge’s daughter in an attempt to dissuade him from pursuing his research into Project Blue Beam.

His daughter was never returned. Pseudo-heart attacks are one of the alleged methods of death induced bởi Project...

1

3 SCARIEST Japanese URBAN LEGENDS in Gacha Life

added by Blaze1213IsBack

LaurenZside

video

2

Elijah Jones - New Album?, Everything bạn need to know.

posted by seattlelivin

Elijah Jones, Kinlee And Elijah Trend Long Overdue

The Kinlee and Elijah trend long overdue hasn't made such an outbreak in the năm 2019. The trend died down early 2018 after Jones's "Forgive To Forget" album released back in early 2017. Soon after Jones promoted its twin album "Brave Enough" bởi Lindsey Stirling, released in the third trimester of 2016.

Currently, Jones hasn't announced new album updates. Much bởi which he hasn't hardly đã đưa ý kiến anything since releasing his third and final book "The Entwine Series: Entrap" back in July 2018. With little information we can only wildly guess whether hoặc not his tiếp theo supposedly album will spark the...

2

Elijah Jones - Gives up the "Kinlee And Elijah" Trend.

posted by seattlelivin

Elijah Jones, currently in speculation about a potential 2019 album confirms to have "let go" of the Kinlee And Elijah trend. For those of bạn who don't know. Kinlee And Elijah was a trend that started off in 2015 after Jones releasee his sophomore album "Utilize" The trend was based around characters in 2015. But upon suffering depression and promoting a Lindsey Stirling album in 2016, Elijah used Kinlee And Elijah as the final passing for Elijah's trilogical album "Forgive To Forget" 2017. Based after the Công chúa tóc xù Enough album he promoted in August 2016.

Currently, after relleasing the kewyord in 2018. Followers have been in câu hỏi on whether hoặc not Jones will be releasing his 4th studio album rumoured to release in 2019. With little hype and little posting, we can only hope that Jones will have something releasing this year. Currently after releasing the keyword
Jones is expected to start something new, and different for his tiếp theo "supposedly" 2019 album.

2

How I Think My New yêu thích Characters Would Do In A Horror Movie (REPOST)

posted by zanhar1

Repost with my new yêu thích characters because for some reason this one got removed??? Like I searched for it because I was planning on making another bài viết like this but I couldn't find this one.

I had good fun making my silly ‘how my yêu thích characters would hold out in a zombie apocalypse’ article, so I decided to make another about how each would do in a horror movie. It is kind of vague as there‘s a vast many types of horror movies. So the characters won’t be as closely connected to one another as in the last one—characters A and B will interact with character C thêm than characters...

Overwatch Parody: Nightmare Before giáng sinh

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!

SeanTheHedgehog: *Sitting at a bàn in front of a laptop* Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, when a movie called The Nightmare Before giáng sinh was released. And then twenty three years later, Overwatch was created. If bạn haven't seen a combination of Overwatch with The Nightmare Before Christmas, I'd say it's time bạn begin now.

Song (Start at 1:19): link

---

A scare con quạ spins around clockwise as the wind blows. We are on the Hollywood map, decked out in Halloween decor.

Reapers: *Singing*...

2

Burger King Foot rau diếp

posted by SilentForce

Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what bạn get. A 4channer uploaded a bức ảnh anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the rau diếp bạn eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.

But that's even worse.

The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 phút later, the Burger King in câu hỏi was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed...

3

Very brief mô tả of dyslexia... (no joke, took 5 minutes)

posted by 2ntyOnePilots

Suppose letters looked backwards, sideways, completely out of place, hoặc reflected, moving hoặc different màu sắc for you.

Suppose letters looked backwards, sideways, completely out of place, or reflected, moving or different colors for you.

Dyslexia is a brain-based condition. It causes difficulty with reading, spelling, nghề viết văn and sometimes speaking. In people with dyslexia, the brain has trouble recognizing hoặc processing certain types of information. ... Like other types of learning and attention issues, dyslexia is a lifelong condition.

See captions of pictures^

why do y’all still care about grammar in the năm of our lord 2018

posted by sadleech

because it makes u feel intellectually superior? because bạn associate it with education and think that the thêm educated bạn are the better bạn are? because being educated automatically makes bạn an athority on whatever bạn wanna say? because when u don’t have a real argument it’s an easy way to get points?

here’s the thing

last time I had an account on this hellscape (before I was rly active on Twitter and stuff) I cared a looooooot about grammar like y’all do. I was totally a dick about it. but then I realized! It doesn’t fucking matter! someone can make a great point and not have...

Canada24 reviews Halloween 3: SEASON OF THE WITCH

posted by Canada24

Welcome of my Halloween inspired movie reviews.

I been đọc many of Wind's reviews only to realize "I SUCK at reviewing".. But also, his Halloween review did give me a review.. Lets talk about the third..

Now, firstly. Movie two, that was suppose to be the end of Michael.. The producer wanted different stories.. Different villain s.. But people just wanted Michael. So they were forced to revive him. Hense why the phim chiếu rạp became worse and worse.. Even after Halloween H20 gave us the perfect death. No, it wasn't enough for people.. Just like Jason and Freddy. Michael had to be done to death.....

The Nut House Episode 8

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. bạn can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 8: Going Too Far

Song: link

Yellow Triangle: *Eating a hot dog when he hears the music*
Pencil: Where is that coming from?!
Parker: *Walks into The Nut House wearing a marching uniform, marching with a stick in his hand*
David & Liz: *Watching Parker*
David: What...

The Nut House Episode 6

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. bạn can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 6: Cards

Kevin: *Walking through the park*
Liam: xin chào Kevin. *Runs over to him*
Kevin: Liam. *High fives Liam as he arrives* What brings bạn here?
Liam: An interest for walking. You?
Kevin: The same. Plus, I wanted to relive some nostalgia of the playground....

1

FUNNY SOUTH PARK MOMENTS:

posted by Canada24

FUNNY SOUTH PARK MOMENTS:

#1: (I FORGET THE TITLE):
Stan: Shut up Cartman, bạn silly goose!
Randy: (stops car) WHAT DID bạn SAY!?
Stan: I just me-
Randy: bạn call him an a*** like normal people!
Stan: But dad I-
Randy: STANLEY CALL YOURR FRIEND AN A*** RIGHT NOW!!
Stan: ... Cartman your an a***.
Randy: Thank you!

#2: CHRISTIAN ROCK BAND:
Cartman (forms a band with Butters and Token): I resent that, sir! I have never in my life done anything just for the money! If I'm lying may the Lord strike me down right now.
*Cue Butters and Token looking up at the sky in fear and Butters backing away.*

#3: RAISINS:...