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These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to bạn as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If bạn are the phone company, I already sent the money. If bạn are my parents, please send money. If bạn are my financial aid institution, bạn didn't lend me enough money. If bạn are my friends, bạn owe me money. If bạn are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now bạn say something.

5. Hi, I'm not trang chủ right now, but my answering machine is, so bạn can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If bạn leave a message, I'll call bạn soon. If bạn leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, bạn are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows hoặc a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait bởi your phone until I call bạn back.

13. If bạn are a burglar, then we're probably at trang chủ cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't trang chủ and it's an toàn, két an toàn to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, bạn have the right to remain silent. Everything bạn say will be recorded and will be used bởi us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when bạn are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then bạn may call her bởi this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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hi, i'm kairi. i felt bored and just decided to give up my acquired knowledge for those of bạn who need a little help with being thêm được ưa chuộng on fanpop/ are bored and just feel like đọc something.

1. consider something someone might want to take part in. some of the most được ưa chuộng các câu trả lời have to do with games hoặc something of the sort. this is because they sound interesting to a fan, so they'll click it.

2. ask the những người hâm mộ about themself. people like talking about themselves and sharing interesting stories, it's human nature.

3. think about what you're asking. think about the subject's popularity....
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EF PEPLE CONTNUU 2 WRIT LYK DIS I WILL ART FLIPIN OUT!
Translation: If people continue to write like this I will start flipping out!

....Now there's two points alone in that sentence and those points were horrible spelling and the constant abuse of the huy hiệu lock. Most people continue doing these two things to get on everyone's nerves. I can understand that some people nghề viết văn this way if he/she had dyslexia hoặc someone learning to speak English and hasn't quite grasped it yet hoặc if you're texting someone on your phone(that can be a real pain), but there's absolutely no excuse for the rest of us...
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1. Always have kindness with you. If bạn have no kindness, then you're no better than anyone else.

2. Always listen to what your Những người bạn have to explain. If they have a proublem and need to explain it to you, stop what you're doing and listen to them carefully.

3. Be respectfull. Using respect will let the person know who bạn are hoặc what they think bạn are.

4. Never curse at your friends. It will lead to arguments, breakouts, and maybe even sleepless nights hoặc bad days.

5. Always lend a hand. If you're Những người bạn are having a prouble, feel free to lend a hand for them. But remeber to ask them if...
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posted by spunkyonyx
Agapanthus africanus
Family: Amaryllidaceae
Common names: ~Lily of the Nile~ ~Blue African Lily ~ ~African Lily~

Agapanthus originates from South Africa. The scientific name refers to the Greek word ~agape~ for ~love~ and ~anthos~ for ~ flower.~

The lily-like florets clustered on a long, thick leafless stem are available year-round in purple and white.
Agapanthus is sensitive to the presence of ethylene gas. This hoa should be kept away from naturally occurring gas, i.e. ripening fruit.

Agave americana L.
Family: Agavaceae
Common Names: ~Century Plant ~ ~West Indian Daggerlog ~ ~Rattlesnake-master~...
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posted by invadercalliope
I HOPE bạn ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!

do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!

we need your help!

grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!


bạn can lead the way!

hey! hey!

do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!

swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)

it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
posted by BeautysOverated
 :)
:)
1.    Run to the hàng đầu, đầu trang of the Eiffel Tower
2.    Eat snails in France
3.    Go to Hollywood
4.    Climb the Statue of Liberty
5.    Gamble in Vegas
6.    Attend a major sporting event
7.    Attempt to catch the ball at the Superbowl
8.    Drive across America –> coast to coast
9.    Go to the pyramids in Egypt
10.    Ride a lạc đà in the desert
11.    Climb Uluru
12.    Spend...
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posted by cute20k
Do bạn have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause bạn to spit and ask bạn not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. bạn fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. bạn blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All ngày long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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These trích dẫn are trích dẫn with differnt meanings of tọc mạch, chồn, ferret hoặc just the animal.
“If a tọc mạch, chồn, ferret bites bạn it is nearly always your own fault.”
“To go rabbit hunting with a dead ferret"
“I'm not sure what the các lượt xem are. I had a private conversation and I did get a feeling ? a feeling. Well, bạn can't take a feeling to the bank. So, it's up to me to try to tọc mạch, chồn, ferret it out.”
“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”
“You need that U.N. inspection team in there on the ground. They're the people that can find it and tọc mạch, chồn, ferret it out,”
“We still have a lot of work to do, and we still have to work on recovering prairie dog populations so the ferrets can survive.”
The End!
After spending hours alone and together Miki and Hei come out.Once both out she lead Hei to her personal weapon room "wow bạn own every last weapon here?" "yep and trust me its not easy hiding this big room" she shows him each one and hiển thị him how to use them all.After that they both chose three weapons and fought for a vary long time (A.K.A 5 hours) Luka (Miki's twin brother)got trang chủ to see that his sister on the floor laughing and giggling and with a big smile on her face "well well well who do we have here little miss 'i don't need a boyfriend' on the floor with a guy" "Luka?! so not cool...
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posted by invadercalliope
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodi dam
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodi dam
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodi dam
Dam dadi doo dam dam
didoodi dam
*music*
When the morning
come come
I'm dancing like
you're dumb dumb
And when the groove
is high
When dummies jump
to sky
If bạn feel the groove
groove
The dummies have to
move move
Can bạn feel the beat? The beat?
The beat?
You never tell me
what is wrong
Cause now it's time to be alone
Let me tình yêu you
everyday
So long bạn let the dummies play
Dance to the
beat dance
dance to the beat
Dance to the
beat dance
dance to the beat
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodidam
Dam dadi doo
dam dam
didoodidam
Dam dadi...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Why not smile? bạn can always find a reason to smile, believe it hoặc not. bạn can say that your life is the worst, bạn can find a hundred reasons to prove that your life sucks, but I bet bạn anything, that if bạn let yourself search, bạn can find a thousand reasons to smile. Whether it's a person, a memory, a possession, bạn can always find something worth living for.

So many people spend their lives hating, complaining, moaning, but really, what's the point? Of course, everyone has off days, everyone gets angry, upset, annoyed, but bạn don't need to spend your whole life living like that. Everyone...
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(I EDITED THIS A LITTLE SO I COULD ADRESS SOME OTHER STEREOTYPES THAT I THINK ARE WRONG and EXTREMELY HURTFUL!!!!)

In the world of stereotypes...


I HAVE CURVES, so I MUST be a fat-ass.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm BRITISH, so I MUST talk like a butler.

I DON'T WEAR SKIRTS, so I MUST be a tom-boy.

I'm POOR, so I MUST be homeless.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I FELL IN tình yêu WITH A MAN WHILE HE WAS TAKEN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I’M EMOTIONAL, so I MUST be looking...
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posted by LadyL68
♥If you're asking if I need you,♥
♥The answer is forever♥


♥If you're asking if I'll leave you♥
♥ The answer is never♥



♥If you're asking what I value,♥
♥The answer is you♥




♥If you're asking if I tình yêu you♥
♥The answer is I do♥








☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮

















READ THIS!!! I didn't write this poem, I found it earlier today.
posted by iamagagamonster
~~ dont be offended, i tình yêu bruno mars' music, he just walked into this trap~~

** follow the beat of just the way bạn are **

oh her eyes shadow makes her look like a clown and i hate it
her hair her hair looks like spiders live in it and its weird
shes so creepy
and i tell her everyday

oh i know i know when tell her this she won't believe me
and its so its so sad that she dont see what i see
but everytime she asks me "do i look ok" i say..

when i see your face, theres that perfect thing that i would change cos look at that mustache
girl bạn need to shave

and when bạn smile, the whole world ducks and...
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I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her trang chủ because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the...
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Answer their các câu hỏi with questions

Ask if bạn they can put thực phẩm color in the cheese.

Ask them to deliver it in a limo.

Ask to see a menu

Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again

Ask about pizza, bánh pizza maintenance and repair.

Ask for a deal available somewhere else.

Ask for the guy who took your order last time. Be sure to throw in a bình luận about his abs.

Ask if the pizza, bánh pizza has had its shots

Ask if the pizza, bánh pizza is organically grown

Ask if them for a free ngày with one of the staff if bạn make order over $30.

Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
In Japan,people use lots of smileys hoặc emotions in their messaging.

While emoji (graphical presentations of emoticons) are probably most known, “kaomoji” (from “kao” = face, “moji” = character) are the Japanese version of Western/Eastern emoticons and there are practically endless variations available.

The biggest difference to the Western/Eastern and Japanese emotions is that they read horizontally and bạn don’t need to turn your head to understand them.

For example the Western/Eastern emoticon for “Happy” looks like this :-)/:) while the Japanese version looks like this (^_^).

Do bạn use these emotions hoặc others in your emails?

Here are some examples:

(^_^) happy

(((º Д º ;))) scared

(-´´-;) problems

(>_<) angry

(?_?) confused

(-.-)zzZ sleepy

(^ _^;) embarrassed

(^O^) very happy

(T_T) sad

(^ ε ^) Kiss
-See thêm emotions here: link
1) wacg alote of T.V. hoặc be on the computer a long time
2) don't eat thực phẩm that can make bạn sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda hoặc crush
4) gety near load stuff hoặc equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late giờ
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms đường phố, street orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make bạn hiper



those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.


plz writ a commet to tell me what bạn did on the list

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
hàng đầu, đầu trang 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time bạn wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say bạn don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...
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