Please- link before questioning, "WHY IS _____ ON THIS LIST?!"

Try to be unbiased - I'm not trying to be a hypocrite but I think Delena is a great example to use:

While they obviously have bad parts of their relationship, I think it would be completely ludicrous to say they are more toxic than ships where the guy has attempted to rape the girl, assault her, and repeatedly lie and manipulate her. So choose whatever you want, but try to be honest and acknowledge that all of these ships have toxic elements and just because you love one or more of them... doesn't mean they aren't toxic. And on the flip of that - just because you dislike a ship, that doesn't mean they're the worst on this list.

For me it comes down to Chuck & Blair and Rumple & Belle. [Spuffy would be 3rd, but I'm giving Spike a little leeway since 1.) the show actually acknowledges what he did as being wrong. 2.) Throughout the rest of their "relationship", things were way more equal between the two of them than other couples on this list - sure Spike was a vampire, but Buffy is THE slayer and she never shied away from getting physical. ]

My feelings on Chuck & Rumple aren't a secret, I think both of them did disgusting, heinous things throughout their shows times. I also once liked both of them and both of their relationships. So the deciding factor for me came down to how the shows/creators treated their actions:

With OUAT, Rumple faced consequences, it was made clear that he did wrong. The creators definitely didn't sit around making up bullshit excuses, claiming none of the characters were scared of him/his actions etc.

Gossip Girl on the other hand... they continued to treat Chuck like the golden boy, the creators made bullshit excuses, claimed Blair was never scared when he tried to punch her in the face, etc. The writers repeatedly ignored disgusting "fans" cheering for Chuck to further abuse and humiliate Blair, talking about how he SHOULD HAVE PUNCHED HER! The creators continuously pushed the message that if a man mentally and verbally abuses you repeatedly, is willing to trade your body for a fucking hotel, claims that he owns you and you will never be with another man and then tries to punch you in the damn face... hey, it's all good as long as he's rich and attractive!

^At least Leighton finally admitted they were toxic lmao. Anyways, I think all the couples I know are somewhat toxic. Even RR and Rumbelle (who I hardcore ship). It is what it is lol. At the end of the day fiction.

I was torn between Chair and Ezria but ultimately had to go with Ezria because at least in all of these other cases it was two adults, where Aria was a literal child AND Ezra's student when they first got together. Not to mention he was manipulating, using, and lying to her the whole time which just makes the situation 10x worse imo.

Ughhhh you're right. I think I try to push down how uncomfortable Ezria makes me but jfc... he should have been arrested, how tf was he not??

Violet and Tate without a doubt. I mean, it's pretty obvious. But tbh the whole murder house thing is pretty toxic so you can't expect anything else from the couple.

Also Ezria and Chair had their toxic moments without a doubt. At the beginning I didn't ship Ezria at all, I actually started shipping them in the later seasons cause I was a full on Jason/Aria shipper. I never liked the whole teacher/student thing at all.

I was waiting for this pick and this novel sized comment from holly the minute I saw the video :p

Anyways my order goes:

mr big / carrie
rumbelle
chair
delena

I seriously don’t find the teacher/student disturbing at all if both want to :p the book thing WAS creepy, I’ll admit but after s3 I don’t really see any character/couple development in the form that we knew them in the beginning. At that point Mar was only trying to get the fans shocked and hooked.
RR were immature. There’s a difference in immature and toxic.

For me, Chair, Delena, Rumbelle & Spuffy are the most toxic. I won't get into specifics, I don't want to upset those who ship them but that's why I'm very anti of the latter three and while I shipped Chair, things were never the same after S4.
+ Big/Carrie (bc he was a scumbag and they both cheated to be with each other), Ezria (because of the age gap & he is her teacher) & Lana/Lex too to a lesser degree.

As for Karamel, it's not their relationship per se that is toxic but it's because Mon El is a problematic character.

For RR, I agree with Nic about the fact that they are immature, though Ross's jealousness is very meh.
I don't really see the toxicy in Olicity but I don't ship them either bc I don't see it and there's too much drama.

Though I have to disagree with you Holly about Rumple, yes they did say multiple times that he did wrong but they always came back to 'he's the Dark One, he is weak.'. Like it solves anything. Even in the S6, they made his son Neal (in flashbacks) act very OOC to make Rumple look good. They changed facts and characters to make Rumple's redemption believable and that really doesn't sit well with me.

And yes Moosh, it is fiction but real life women & girls romanticize some of these toxic relationships (a lot of the couples in the list are fan-favorites) and that's a big problem.

^yes, I know trust me. And I’ve talked about that multiple times in various different areas for everyone here to know I take that stuff very seriously. I threw in the fiction comment in relation to Holly’s be unbiased comment because I know multiple people on this spot ship a lot of these couples and I don’t want any unnessary issues over our fictional preferences.

^I know that. It's just that nowadays I see so many people on Tumblr wanting to have [character]'s romantic relationship which turns out to be so toxic, it's just disheartening (main example for me is 50 Shades of Grey, I haven't seen/read the series but from what I heard it's borderline psycho). I just wished that toxic relationships in fiction would just be acknowledged as toxic and just do so that they are mended, to show that change can happen and that the abused part of the couple (it's usually women) are not going to put up with that crap anymore.

I seriously don’t find the teacher/student disturbing at all if both want to :p

But that's the problem when it comes to real life situations, Nic. A student might be physically attracted to a teacher, they might THINK they want a relationship, but they don't really know what they're getting themselves into. There's a reason we have statutory rape laws, there's a reason most workplaces don't allow regular level employees to date anyone higher up than them, etc. - because there is a power imbalance. And I will forever be frustrated at how the PLL writers/Marlene promoted Ezra and Aria's relationship with very little consequences - it sent a horrible message to impressionable young girls, and boys, that a teacher/student relationship is okay.

I get that you ship them, Nic, and I do respect that... but I wish you would acknowledge that they were seriously problematic!

Delena is my OTP and Damon is one of my favorite males but I've acknowledged plenty of times that Delena/Damon could be problematic! You can acknowledge that a couple/character exhibits problematic behaviors and still love them, I just feel I would be a hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge that Delena weren't always healthy... doesn't mean I don't still love them forever ♥

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As for Karamel, it's not their relationship per se that is toxic but it's because Mon El is a problematic character.

I think that is an excellent explanation, Aline! I hope more people, not just on here but in general, realize that most of our favorites are problematic AT LEAST ONCE IN A WHILE! Being able to acknowledge that is GOOD, it helps us rise above silly drama and ship wars.

For RR, I agree with Nic about the fact that they are immature, though Ross's jealousness is very meh.

I think part of the problem is that a lot of people are looking at their relationship from today's perspective, not acknowledging that a lot of the tropes from the show were more accepted back then. Times change, people grow and adapt to the times, but that doesn't mean that every piece of fiction from 10+ years ago is toxic trash.

I will always have a soft spot for Ross & Rachel ♥ They were one of the first couples I cared about, despite only being like 6 or 7 when they were first getting together! But as I've grown up, I do look at them a bit more critically and I definitely prefer Mondler. I don't think Ross is some terrible guy, people on Tumblr/social media that constantly shit on him and claim he's such a horrid piece of trash are just too fucking much! He definitely is problematic though, but so is Rachel. Ross needed to respect boundaries more imo, and the jealousy wasn't attractive. I think the biggest thing that always bothers me is his immaturity/inability at taking responsibility for their breakup. He spent years making excuses for what he did to Rachel and let's just be real here:

Even if he genuinely did believe they were done, which I don't think he did but whatever! He still went and slept with another woman the very same night they "broke up"... that's just trashy imo. And it seemed to me like he never really grasped WHY it hurt Rachel so bad.

Though I have to disagree with you Holly about Rumple, yes they did say multiple times that he did wrong but they always came back to 'he's the Dark One, he is weak.'. Like it solves anything. Even in the S6, they made his son Neal (in flashbacks) act very OOC to make Rumple look good. They changed facts and characters to make Rumple's redemption believable and that really doesn't sit well with me.

I actually do quite agree with you, I just think that OUAT was much better about treating Rumple as the villain he was than GG was with Chuck. The lengths they went to in order to excuse away all of Chuck's disgusting behaviors... UGHHHH.

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And yes Moosh, it is fiction but real life women & girls romanticize some of these toxic relationships (a lot of the couples in the list are fan-favorites) and that's a big problem.

I want to emphasize this because it's so important! And Rana and I especially have talked about the negative impact some of these relationships, as well as others not listed, have on young girls and how scary it is. It's one of the reasons I'm so passionate when I speak about how wrong I believe some relationships are, and I get that some of you guys ship couples like Chair, Rumbelle, Stydia, Emison, Bamon, Klaroline, etc... but all of those relationships have so many problematic aspects and it frightens me how popular they are and how much young girls idolize them and completely gloss over abusive, harmful behaviors.

barrie
rumbelle
delena
chair

they are the worst