I can began to see the side view mirrors fog up as I sit alone the car. Matt was still in the front yard, pacing back and forth, and back and forth. A part of me just wanted him to get in the car already but the other part of me just wanted to stay alone. As I began to get Mất tích in my thought I saw the car door open. Matt got in and didn’t bother to turn on the car. he didn’t look at me and I didn’t look at him. He finally turned on the car…slowly..but he turned it on. He sighed low enough for me not start the conversation. As he pulled out and started off on the road I just looked out the window.
“Jaz i-” he started but my phone rang. It was my mom.
I tried to rush her off the phone because I figured it was nothing important but then I heard her say “so bạn can just with Matthew tonight.” And I felt my tim, trái tim stop.
I agreed to stay with him tonight but I now had to tell him. And that was the hard part. I hung up the phone and sucked in a huge breath.
“Hey….Umm..I have to..I mean..I umm ..can i stay with bạn tonight? My mom is gonna stay out later than she thought.”
I could barely get the words out of my mouth.
“Ohh..Yeah. You’re welcome anytime. bạn know that.” He probably shot me a warm smile but I didb’t bother to look.
“Jaz I’m sorr-”
“No! No! No! I don’t want to here it Matt. I know I should’ve found another way from keeping bạn from that football player. I know i screwed up okay? I don’t wanna hear bạn try to apologize when bạn didn’t do anything.” Those words came out thêm smoothly but definitely thêm harsh.
I didn’t notice we were pulling up into his parents drive away already. I got out first and swiftly walked towards the door. I just wanted to go the guest room and go to bed. Matt was still sitting in his car. He didn’t get off the car until I rang the doorbell. Probably didn’t want to have to explain to his dad why he was sitting in the car alone. His dad answered the door and greeted me with a surprised smile. i asked if i could stay with him in the nicest way I could and then shot up the stairs as soon as let room for me to get through the door. Matthew was barely walking through the door. He did look hurt bởi what I đã đưa ý kiến but i wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. When I didn’t see him walk up the stairs, i knew he would be going to tell his dad what happened. Usually i would want to ez-drop but I didn’t this time. An giờ hoặc two went bởi when I heard a knock on my door. I couldn’t sleep.
“Come In.”
Matthew walked in a box of pizza, bánh pizza and the most guilty smile a man could have.
:“Pizza?” He had a hopeful smile.
I tried to smile and I just nodded. He came and plumped on the giường with me and put the pizza, bánh pizza box in front of us.
“Look I know bạn are mad at me. But i want bạn to here me out please?”
“I couldn’t really resit hearing what he had to say.
“First of all Im not mad at bạn Matt. When have I ever been mad at you? And fine…I will hear bạn out.”
We both took a deep breath and relaxed.
He took and deep breath and began, “Well what bạn đã đưa ý kiến in the car hurt…and untrue.”-he couldn’t look at me anymore-" That kiss"-i flinched at the word-" was ….is….the best Kiss I have ever had. And I wouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone else but you…"
I looked up at him and gave him a smile that even I couldn’t believe I gave him. It was a flirty smile! He knew that smile and he as well was surprised. He hesitated at first bởi then leaned in to give me a Kiss on my forehead. It was sweet, I will have to admit that but he didn’t have me yet.
“I hope bạn know I’m not done. We’re gonna be at this for a while.” He shot me back a flirty smile now.
I smiled at him and then just like that the words came out when I didn’t mean for them to come out…It was an accident.! …“i tình yêu you”
“Jaz i-” he started but my phone rang. It was my mom.
I tried to rush her off the phone because I figured it was nothing important but then I heard her say “so bạn can just with Matthew tonight.” And I felt my tim, trái tim stop.
I agreed to stay with him tonight but I now had to tell him. And that was the hard part. I hung up the phone and sucked in a huge breath.
“Hey….Umm..I have to..I mean..I umm ..can i stay with bạn tonight? My mom is gonna stay out later than she thought.”
I could barely get the words out of my mouth.
“Ohh..Yeah. You’re welcome anytime. bạn know that.” He probably shot me a warm smile but I didb’t bother to look.
“Jaz I’m sorr-”
“No! No! No! I don’t want to here it Matt. I know I should’ve found another way from keeping bạn from that football player. I know i screwed up okay? I don’t wanna hear bạn try to apologize when bạn didn’t do anything.” Those words came out thêm smoothly but definitely thêm harsh.
I didn’t notice we were pulling up into his parents drive away already. I got out first and swiftly walked towards the door. I just wanted to go the guest room and go to bed. Matt was still sitting in his car. He didn’t get off the car until I rang the doorbell. Probably didn’t want to have to explain to his dad why he was sitting in the car alone. His dad answered the door and greeted me with a surprised smile. i asked if i could stay with him in the nicest way I could and then shot up the stairs as soon as let room for me to get through the door. Matthew was barely walking through the door. He did look hurt bởi what I đã đưa ý kiến but i wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. When I didn’t see him walk up the stairs, i knew he would be going to tell his dad what happened. Usually i would want to ez-drop but I didn’t this time. An giờ hoặc two went bởi when I heard a knock on my door. I couldn’t sleep.
“Come In.”
Matthew walked in a box of pizza, bánh pizza and the most guilty smile a man could have.
:“Pizza?” He had a hopeful smile.
I tried to smile and I just nodded. He came and plumped on the giường with me and put the pizza, bánh pizza box in front of us.
“Look I know bạn are mad at me. But i want bạn to here me out please?”
“I couldn’t really resit hearing what he had to say.
“First of all Im not mad at bạn Matt. When have I ever been mad at you? And fine…I will hear bạn out.”
We both took a deep breath and relaxed.
He took and deep breath and began, “Well what bạn đã đưa ý kiến in the car hurt…and untrue.”-he couldn’t look at me anymore-" That kiss"-i flinched at the word-" was ….is….the best Kiss I have ever had. And I wouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone else but you…"
I looked up at him and gave him a smile that even I couldn’t believe I gave him. It was a flirty smile! He knew that smile and he as well was surprised. He hesitated at first bởi then leaned in to give me a Kiss on my forehead. It was sweet, I will have to admit that but he didn’t have me yet.
“I hope bạn know I’m not done. We’re gonna be at this for a while.” He shot me back a flirty smile now.
I smiled at him and then just like that the words came out when I didn’t mean for them to come out…It was an accident.! …“i tình yêu you”
Sobriety is beyond a horizon for you,
One bạn won't be alive to even get to.
Your mind is set to be dead in 10
Years, my fears, my tears,
don't matter, your emotionless, here.
My bothersome phone calls,
"I'm just checking in"
"Yeah, I don't care"
I can't ever win.
My eyes are taped open,
horrific hình ảnh replay,
and even when I close them,
they're imprinted in my mind,
they're there to stay.
Blackness engulfs me,
like a whirlpool of nothing,
Your arch nemesis,
Your pal,
Your meaningless suffering.
Why do bạn do this,
to yourself, and to me?
I don't get why bạn mess around,
just let yourself be!
One bạn won't be alive to even get to.
Your mind is set to be dead in 10
Years, my fears, my tears,
don't matter, your emotionless, here.
My bothersome phone calls,
"I'm just checking in"
"Yeah, I don't care"
I can't ever win.
My eyes are taped open,
horrific hình ảnh replay,
and even when I close them,
they're imprinted in my mind,
they're there to stay.
Blackness engulfs me,
like a whirlpool of nothing,
Your arch nemesis,
Your pal,
Your meaningless suffering.
Why do bạn do this,
to yourself, and to me?
I don't get why bạn mess around,
just let yourself be!
this is just somthing that describes me :)
love bites
I'm haunted by the memory's i hold
Impossible
Here I phase
Here in my old age
Here I run with no place to go
Here I stand with no purpose
Here I am with no show,
No lights,no cameras,no grace
Here I am with this world having me in it's tight embrace.
But I won't give in.
For God Loved me so.
Here I am in this place,
Here I am just watching the world race.
Watching the world fall apart,
Here I am just waiting for a new start.
As this breaks my heart,
I know I will tham gia God's cart,his army,his people and I will live in heaven above.
Here I am asking you,
What will bạn do?
Here I am watching bạn phase,
Here I am watching bạn turn to old age.
With no place to go,
Here I am telling bạn don't want to low.
As we change and as we grow,
This world will face judgment,This I know.
Don't turn to old age,
Don't get Mất tích in the world's maze.
Save bạn self.
Don't let yourself phase.......
Here in my old age
Here I run with no place to go
Here I stand with no purpose
Here I am with no show,
No lights,no cameras,no grace
Here I am with this world having me in it's tight embrace.
But I won't give in.
For God Loved me so.
Here I am in this place,
Here I am just watching the world race.
Watching the world fall apart,
Here I am just waiting for a new start.
As this breaks my heart,
I know I will tham gia God's cart,his army,his people and I will live in heaven above.
Here I am asking you,
What will bạn do?
Here I am watching bạn phase,
Here I am watching bạn turn to old age.
With no place to go,
Here I am telling bạn don't want to low.
As we change and as we grow,
This world will face judgment,This I know.
Don't turn to old age,
Don't get Mất tích in the world's maze.
Save bạn self.
Don't let yourself phase.......
