Hang yourself
You're a fag
Overdose on pills
Worthless
Suicidal freak
My eyes locked on the notes. The words mocking me as they make me read them over and over until someone spoke, "Like our notes?" Laughter burst out as I turned around, seeing everyone pointing at me. Tears coming from their eyes since they're laughing so hard. Ally caught my eye. Just as she walked bởi with her friend Julie, I looked down, wanting to hide in a dark corner, away from everyone and everything. If only I could talk to Ally, nobody else would matter. Their insults and bullying, well, I wouldn't give a two cent care anymore. Gripping the notes, I ripped them down furiously, everyone laughing just as the chuông, bell rung. They will be late for class... but I'll be even thêm late. The teachers already hate me for my lateness, but it doesn't bother me in any way anymore. I already disappoint them bởi my F average grades. I grabbed my World History textbook and notebook, slammed my locker door shut, and made a fast pace off to my class.
Eyes I captured as I walked into World History like a Mất tích puppy. I heard whispering as Mr. Kennedy shook his head in my direction as in utter disappointment. I strolled towards my ghế, chỗ ngồi in the back, hearing nothing but whispers and mumbles of "Emo", "Fag", and "I can't wait until he kills himself." I sat down, taking out my notebook which I do not write notes down in. I just doodle. It's not like Mr. Kennedy cares anyway. He's already được trao up on me. Flipping through it, I found my drawing of Ally that I haven't finished. I do quite well with art, but I'm not good enough to be what bạn call 'talented' in. I shade in the eyeliner she wears and the flawless part of her hair that she always keeps tucked behind her ear. I smile to myself as my pencil draws thêm pieces of her hair.
...The chuông, bell rings before I could finish my drawing.
"Oh, what do bạn have here?" Jack asked, snatching my notebook right out of my hands.
"Hey! Give it back," I say, but way too quiet.
"What did bạn say?" he asked, moving closer as in mocking me. I didn't say anything. "Thought so." He turned back to the page of my drawing of Ally. "Gross, this drawing SUCKS! It's of Ally?!" His laugh was a deafening shriek.
"Just give it back," I mumbled, trying to grab it, but Jack just pulled back.
"I've so gotta hiển thị this to Ally!"
"You can't do that!"
"Why can't I?"
"...Just... don't," I begged.
Jack departed from class. I hurried after him, but why am I? It's no use. He's way faster and knowing him, he's definitely going to reveal the drawing to Ally. And when she sees it... she's definitely going to be disgusted with me. Only if she'd realize who Jack's speaking of.
"That's him." Jack pointed straight at me as I made my way around the hallway corner.
Ally glanced up from my drawing. Her eyes wide of, what, embarrassment?
"Awh, little emo kid has a crush on Ally!" Mark teased, poking Ally against her arm. She looks as if she's gonna puke. I'm trying to stay strong to what she's going to say, but she didn't say a word. She escaped from everyone embarrassing her more.
"I see bạn have no chance!" Melanie howled in a laughter. Everyone joining in.
It's already bad enough having people bullying you. But having the girl you're desperately in tình yêu with running away when she first acknowledges that bạn have a crush on her...? Someone shoot me! Literally! I dashed to the boys' bathroom like lightning.
"I don't wanna be here!" I yelled into the stall's wall, punching it hard with my fists. Tears started to create its pattern in my eyes. Its pattern on its timing of pouring out. I want to die right now. I don't want to live any more---no one loves me! Not my mom, not my dad, not any of my family, no one at school. Absolutely no one at school. Hell, not even God loves me. Because if God loved me, he would have me killed bởi now. But has he? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! The chuông, bell rung, which meant time for lunch. I'm not hungry. I'm never hungry. So I'm not hiển thị up for lunch. I'll stay in this damn stall all ngày for all I care. I sat down on the cold bathroom floor. Seeing a broken piece of glass, I picked it up, pulling back my sleeve. As my eyes scanned over the cuts I've already made, I slit one cut over one of the spaces where I've not yet cut. That relieved a little bit of the pain, but not enough. I slit another. Then another. Then another. I started sobbing into my hands at the thoughts of everyone with their hatred of me when I've done nothing wrong. Well, the wrong thing is being born and not committing suicide yet. Why can't ONE person tình yêu me?! Just ONE? I take the broken piece of glass and hold it up to my neck.
This'll make everyone happy. The voice in my head said.
Just do it!
I hold it closer.
"I can't do it!" I throw it across the floor. "I still have my dream of Ally! I can't ruin it!" I whisper.
She'll never tình yêu you! You're worthless!
I sob even more.
The chuông, bell rings again. Which means for drama. The class I have with Ally. Reaching my locker, I see thêm notes spread on the front.
Commit Suicide
FAG
Short penis
Why doesn't the staff ever see this?
"Okay Class, we're going to do a play on Romeo & Juliet," Ms. Hanigan said. "Now we'll be going to the stage to do auditions. This will take through your tiếp theo class, too."
"YAY!" Everyone yelled.
We all approached the stage.
"In this hat, I will choose who will audition first."
She drew a small piece of paper out of the hat, unfolded it and read,
"Max."
Everyone made disgusted noises.
"Let's see how good bạn do. Now everyone including bạn Max, do your best, PLEASE."
Ms. Hanigan handed me the script, pointing to what lines to say, then I walked up on the stage, nervous as hell.
I started on the lines, looking around first, then back at the script.
I started:
bởi a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee;
Had I it written, I would tear the word.
Ms. Hanigan clapped like hell. "Amazing! tiếp theo for Romeo! Three more!"
Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.
With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;
For stony limits cannot hold tình yêu out,
And what tình yêu can do that dares tình yêu attempt;
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.
Alack, there lies thêm peril in thine eye
Than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet,
And I am proof against their enmity.
I look up at her. "ONE more!"
I have night's áo choàng to hide me from their sight;
And but thou tình yêu me, let them find me here:
My life were better ended bởi their hate.
Than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.
"Now let's pick..." Ms. Hanigan went through the hat again.
"Jonah."
I handed him the script.
"If bạn get the part, the world's screwed," he said.
I sit in the middle of the room, watching as some others try for the parts.
"Ally!" Ms. Hanigan called out.
I sat up. I really want to hear Ally audition for the part of Juliet.
Ally stood up quick, taking the script from Lacie. Lacie looked absolutely disgusted. Ally reached the stage, and started on the script...
What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night
So stumblest on my counsel?
"Fantastic, but I'm gonna need to hear three more!"
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
I started to fall in tình yêu with her even more...
If they do see thee, they will murder thee.
She's... perfect.
"AMAZING!"
She's my Juliet.
After everyone got their chance in audition, Ms. Hanigan told us to stay in our seats because she has already picked for Romeo & Juliet.
"The part for Romeo will be Max!"
My eyes grew wide. Everyone yelled "Gross!"
"Be mature!" Ms. Hanigan hollered, sighing after.
"And Juliet will be..."
"Please be Ally. Please be Ally." I whispered very softly, crossing my fingers.
"Ally!"
Everyone gasped. Ally stared over at me with the widest eyes. I threw my eye sight on my lap, becoming depressed because she hates her part, I know it.
"Okay, tomorrow y'all will be out of ALL your classes!"
"YAY!"
"Now bạn all get ready for the end of the day. I'll need to talk to Ally and Max real quick." Ms. Hanigan waved us over.
"I feel so sorry for you, Ally," I heard Julie say.
Ally just rolled her eyes. We both strolled over to see Ms. Hanigan.
"You know, bạn two would be a cute couple." She complimented.
My ears grew hot.
"Awhhh... Ally's blushing!"
In surprise, I looked over at her. And Ms. Hanigan is damn right, Ally is blushing.
"You like Max, don't you, Ally?"
Ally tried hiding her face.
"Come on, admit it, Ally! bạn like him."
Ally shook her head.
"Admit it!"
She shook her head again. I couldn't help but smile.
"Admit it---"
"Fine, I admit it! I like Max, okay?!" Then she ran off, leaving me with my jaw dropped.
"And bạn think girls don't like you." Ms. Hanigan chuckled.
I kept smiling to myself. Just as the chuông, bell rang, I walked out, seeing Ally at her locker. I stood there behind her and sighed, then walked to my locker. Seeing notes AGAIN. What is wrong with people?
Gay
Weirdo
Fags wear nail polish
"Oh my God." I turned around quickly, seeing Ally shaking her head. "When will this shit end?!" She tore the notes down from my locker. "You don't deserve this." Then she left for the buses.
I grabbed my stuff from my locker and walked on to the buses. I got on and sat down at my usual seat. Like always, everyone was talking as loud as bullhorns and chortling.
I ended up at home. My stomach growling, but I know I'm not eating tonight. I never eat at home. I go hungry every day.
"You hungry, Max?" My mom asked, coming in from the kitchen. I raised my eyebrow.
"Yeah..."
"Well, TOO BAD!" She laughed, coming at me with her belt.
I tried running away, but she kept whipping me so hard I kept falling down.
"You're worthless!"
"You will be alone for the rest of your life!"
"Bad excuse for a f***in' son!"
I kept whimpering as she whipped me each time. This went on for thirty minutes. The after pain was so unbearable, that I just decided to go to my room and fall asleep.
Man, I hate my life...
Bounce your head, snap
To the classic, to the rap
Step ball change
Basic with a buck
Pleay, tour jete
Bounce your head to the rock
One two three,
Two two three,
Count along with your head
Mosh with the beat
Hop shuffle hop back
Twirl your arms, bend your back
Do the thingamajiggie
Wear out your taps
Breathe it in, breathe it out
Reach for the sky, dance on the ground
Flitter here, gallop there
Lose yourself anywhere
Flow with the music
Feel it in your veins
As bạn bounce your head, snap
Boom boom clap
As light fades the brightest of souls can even be turned to do the darkest of things. As time time pushes phía trước, chuyển tiếp the mind and body of an individual changes for either good hoặc bad. the decisions they make and the things they do will stick with them forever. I was told this many years cách đây bởi a wise old man that fortold my future. He đã đưa ý kiến "the one with the dragon soul is not alone in the world he knows." After being told this it left me nothing but confused but i had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last time i heard of it.
Ever since my family died down to be just me.... I`ve been alone since they died in a car accident. I got out fine (only with cuts and a migrane), but they died. I now live with my grandpa... but he doesn't get me..... I cut my self, dresss diffrently, and never really talk.
4 days after the funeral for my family.... I became Emo. But the ngày my Family died, something changed within me..... something good went rotten.
My Grandpa see's it, but ignores my pain and anger... only if that drunk driver that hit us was sober and never... spun out of control. Some ngày I hope his tim, trái tim gives out and he dies in jail.
Does any one feel the same?
4 days after the funeral for my family.... I became Emo. But the ngày my Family died, something changed within me..... something good went rotten.
My Grandpa see's it, but ignores my pain and anger... only if that drunk driver that hit us was sober and never... spun out of control. Some ngày I hope his tim, trái tim gives out and he dies in jail.
Does any one feel the same?
