"Shelby?" Sage asked quietly, coming into my room. "Can I ask bạn something?" I sat up on my bed.
"Sure," I sighed, not so enthusiastic; but I was trying not to be so irritable all the time. Sage came in front of the bed, then plopped down on the floor in front of me.
"What's that stuff bạn take?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do bạn mean, Sage?"
"You know, that stuff bạn take," she said. "Like this." She put her palm to her nose, and inhaled deeply. My tim, trái tim fell into my stomach. I quickly fell down to her height, and grabbed her shoulders.
"Sage. How do bạn know about that," I đã đưa ý kiến urgently. She frowned at me.
"I saw you," she whined, like she was in trouble; when in reality, I was the one in deep trouble. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I đã đưa ý kiến quickly. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Understand?" Despite my urgency, she didn't seem to see what the big deal was.
"Ok, but wh---"
"Sage," I breathed, my voice trembling. "Do not. Say. A word... bạn promise?" Sage sighed.
"I guess." She stood up and left. I could only stare after her. What if she told someone? What if she told Paige? hoặc Blair hoặc James? I'd be dead. I could only hope that Sage kept her promise and didn't tell anyone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Needing relief, I went and grabbed the bad underneath my cái gối, gối case.
***
I got off the bus, looking around for my friends. I saw Rigby and Jordan over away from the others. I went over to them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said. "Where's Carissa?" Rigby and Jordan looked at each other, their faces grave.
"Carissa's dead," Jordan đã đưa ý kiến in a monotone. "She O.D.'ed last night." It felt like my tim, trái tim just froze over.
"What?" I whispered. "She's... She's dead?" Rigby nodded. My head swirled. I'd talked to Carissa just yesterday. In that amount of time, she'd Mất tích her life. Rigby sighed.
"Get over it, Shelby," he shook his head. "It happens." It felt like he'd just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. How could he say that?! Carissa was one of the most nicest people I'd ever met! And now she was dead?! How could he stand there and say it was no big deal? She'd never grow up now; have a family and kids! She was only thirteen! The chuông, bell rang, and Jordan and Rigby headed off. Jordan patted my shoulder once, a sad smile on his lips.
Needing relief, but feeling a little worried, I took a little bit of cocaine before class. It was nowhere near as much as I used to take; just enough to take the edge off a bit.
I couldn't pay attention in class, even if I wanted to that day. I could only think about Carissa. What would she have done today if she hadn't died? What had happened afterwards? Did her grandmother find her asleep in her room, only to find out her granddaughter was actually dying?
"Students are to remain in their class rooms for the tiếp theo hour," the principal droned over the announcements. "There's a drug tìm kiếm being held, and all students are to remain in their classrooms." I felt the blood rush to my face as the teacher explained further; the police were here with the drug sniffing dogs. My drugs were in my locker. Right. Now. I felt like I was going to be sick again. My trembling hand went up.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"You can't, Shelby. bạn can go in an hour," she said, then went on with the trước đó lesson. I held my head in my hands, trying to stay conscious.
"I need to go to the nurse," I tried.
"I'm sure you're fine, Shelby," the teacher sighed. "If bạn still don't feel well later, bạn can go. But for now everyone needs to stay in the classroom." It felt like a hole was being burned into my stomach. If I didn't do something now, I was going to lose it.
Before I was aware what was going on, I found myself in the hallway. I was running. I had no idea how I got there, hoặc why I was running, but the shouting behind me only confirmed the idea that I should keep running. Then I remembered, and ran to my locker. Maybe I could get back before the police saw me. I fumbled with the lock, dialing in the combination. I pulled up, but I'd screwed up the combination and it remained locked.
"...23...18...5---" I was pulled back, bởi great force. I looked up in shock to see a police man, and he looked at the cop tiếp theo to him, holding the leash. The other man let the dog sniff my locker, and after only a few seconds, the dog was barking. The cop holding me back looked down at me.
"You're under arrest."
"Sure," I sighed, not so enthusiastic; but I was trying not to be so irritable all the time. Sage came in front of the bed, then plopped down on the floor in front of me.
"What's that stuff bạn take?" she asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do bạn mean, Sage?"
"You know, that stuff bạn take," she said. "Like this." She put her palm to her nose, and inhaled deeply. My tim, trái tim fell into my stomach. I quickly fell down to her height, and grabbed her shoulders.
"Sage. How do bạn know about that," I đã đưa ý kiến urgently. She frowned at me.
"I saw you," she whined, like she was in trouble; when in reality, I was the one in deep trouble. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I đã đưa ý kiến quickly. "You cannot tell anyone about this. Understand?" Despite my urgency, she didn't seem to see what the big deal was.
"Ok, but wh---"
"Sage," I breathed, my voice trembling. "Do not. Say. A word... bạn promise?" Sage sighed.
"I guess." She stood up and left. I could only stare after her. What if she told someone? What if she told Paige? hoặc Blair hoặc James? I'd be dead. I could only hope that Sage kept her promise and didn't tell anyone. I felt like I was going to be sick. Needing relief, I went and grabbed the bad underneath my cái gối, gối case.
***
I got off the bus, looking around for my friends. I saw Rigby and Jordan over away from the others. I went over to them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said. "Where's Carissa?" Rigby and Jordan looked at each other, their faces grave.
"Carissa's dead," Jordan đã đưa ý kiến in a monotone. "She O.D.'ed last night." It felt like my tim, trái tim just froze over.
"What?" I whispered. "She's... She's dead?" Rigby nodded. My head swirled. I'd talked to Carissa just yesterday. In that amount of time, she'd Mất tích her life. Rigby sighed.
"Get over it, Shelby," he shook his head. "It happens." It felt like he'd just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat. How could he say that?! Carissa was one of the most nicest people I'd ever met! And now she was dead?! How could he stand there and say it was no big deal? She'd never grow up now; have a family and kids! She was only thirteen! The chuông, bell rang, and Jordan and Rigby headed off. Jordan patted my shoulder once, a sad smile on his lips.
Needing relief, but feeling a little worried, I took a little bit of cocaine before class. It was nowhere near as much as I used to take; just enough to take the edge off a bit.
I couldn't pay attention in class, even if I wanted to that day. I could only think about Carissa. What would she have done today if she hadn't died? What had happened afterwards? Did her grandmother find her asleep in her room, only to find out her granddaughter was actually dying?
"Students are to remain in their class rooms for the tiếp theo hour," the principal droned over the announcements. "There's a drug tìm kiếm being held, and all students are to remain in their classrooms." I felt the blood rush to my face as the teacher explained further; the police were here with the drug sniffing dogs. My drugs were in my locker. Right. Now. I felt like I was going to be sick again. My trembling hand went up.
"I need to go to the bathroom," I whispered, staring at the ground.
"You can't, Shelby. bạn can go in an hour," she said, then went on with the trước đó lesson. I held my head in my hands, trying to stay conscious.
"I need to go to the nurse," I tried.
"I'm sure you're fine, Shelby," the teacher sighed. "If bạn still don't feel well later, bạn can go. But for now everyone needs to stay in the classroom." It felt like a hole was being burned into my stomach. If I didn't do something now, I was going to lose it.
Before I was aware what was going on, I found myself in the hallway. I was running. I had no idea how I got there, hoặc why I was running, but the shouting behind me only confirmed the idea that I should keep running. Then I remembered, and ran to my locker. Maybe I could get back before the police saw me. I fumbled with the lock, dialing in the combination. I pulled up, but I'd screwed up the combination and it remained locked.
"...23...18...5---" I was pulled back, bởi great force. I looked up in shock to see a police man, and he looked at the cop tiếp theo to him, holding the leash. The other man let the dog sniff my locker, and after only a few seconds, the dog was barking. The cop holding me back looked down at me.
"You're under arrest."
Here I spread the màu sắc of my life
They sound like a tune of fife
They always closed me in a dark room
I put on my headphones, enjoyed & played the boom
It's so boring to just see the sky
Today I decided I'll go and fly
Eveyones mind is full of depressions
But mine is full of imaginations
I changed the dark night into shining sequins
And the heap into beautiful fragrance
I don't want bạn to make my hair a mess
Cause I'm wearing the tiara to be a princess
My passion, my obsession, my desire
Don't interfere in between hoặc I'll blow bạn up with flames of fire
They sound like a tune of fife
They always closed me in a dark room
I put on my headphones, enjoyed & played the boom
It's so boring to just see the sky
Today I decided I'll go and fly
Eveyones mind is full of depressions
But mine is full of imaginations
I changed the dark night into shining sequins
And the heap into beautiful fragrance
I don't want bạn to make my hair a mess
Cause I'm wearing the tiara to be a princess
My passion, my obsession, my desire
Don't interfere in between hoặc I'll blow bạn up with flames of fire