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posted by yoshifan1976
Once there was a black Yoshi named Bob. He was new to town and didn't have any friends. He was a kind and caring Yoshi who had the power to heal. He went to school and saw a group of Yoshis. Bob asked the other Yoshis if he could play with them. The other Yoshis laughed and scoffed at him. He didn't get angry. He just walked away with his head to the ground. Then suddenly, a human was very very sick. She was taken to the hospital. The doctors couldn't admit her. There was nothing they could do. "Yoshi", he said. It meant let me heal her. Then out of the blue, Bob laid his hand on her chest and there was a light shining. Then the human was cured!!! "Thank you", she said. "Yoshi". (Which means you're welcome). The other Yoshis saw what was going on and they apologized to Bob in Yoshi. He forgave them and then they played tag. Then no one ever teased Bob again. He had new Những người bạn and they lived happily ever after.
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the hàng đầu, đầu trang of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long ngày of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill đã đưa ý kiến to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task bởi concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped hát and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.

1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.

2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.

3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.

4. The UK population grew in thêm 2008 than at any time since 1962.

5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.

6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.

7. The smell of cut cỏ makes people happy.

8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.

9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.

10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.

Hopefully there will be thêm tiếp theo week.
Lyrics:
Halloween night 1963
In haddenfield illinois there would be
A gruesome case of sibling rivalry
Beetween kids in the myers family
Micheal a six năm old lesurely
walked into his sisters room silently
And butchered her body so violently
he left for a mental facility
and when the state hospital deputy
relaxed the maximum security
and micheal would stop waiting patiantly
for another chance at a murder spree
his doctor sam loomis tried legally
to put him away for eternity
said "my patient has no humanity"
but others did not exactly agree
they đã đưa ý kiến "micheal was the epitome of the ideal patients activity
no...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Holiday Inn, Charlestown South Carolina

Three women arrived in a Chevrolet Cruze. Two were sitting up front, while one was in the back seat.

Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith* We'll be right back. We need to get something important.
Edith: Leave the engine running.
Charlotte: *Nods. She watches the women walk into the hotel, then picks up her phone to talk to her mother*
Mom: Hello?
Charlotte: Hi Mom, món ăn bơm xen, charlotte here.
Mom: How are bạn doing?
Charlotte: Good. I made a couple of new friends, and I just became a member of this group called Social Justice Warriors.
Mom: Congratulations darling. I need...
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posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on Facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I Mất tích my phone, can bạn call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake tình yêu notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near bạn falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the hàng đầu, đầu trang of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already....
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on Google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS hoặc If bạn find a áo sơ mi store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the thực phẩm court and go to a fast thực phẩm place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a bàn hát elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as bạn can "I tình yêu THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT ngày AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until bạn see an old lady/guy...
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posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and bạn have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
(WARNING: There is tons of cussing in this bài viết to emphasize my hatred for this song a bit more. If that bothers you, please leave now.)

Train, bạn did it. bạn FREAKING DID IT. After watching Drive By, I didn’t think it was POSSIBLE for ANYBODY to make a worse song than that.

Except maybe Ryan.

Seriously though, this song isn’t just bad. It’s nowhere near bad. To call it a terrible piece of shit would be complimenting it. I can’t describe the rage I feel for this song at all. And if I were to shred every particle of my brain molecules, destroying my memory in the process, just to get...
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posted by Bluekait
There are certain rules of survival in horror movies. The movie Scream had some rules, but they weren’t very useful. Our rules are much better and teach bạn exactly how to survive a horror movie.

Don’t walk around saying “Hello?” like the killer is going to reply “Yeah I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

If someone says “Oh yeah, that’s the house where Old Man Jenkins was murdered” then it’s time to di chuyển house.

If your friend gets bitten bởi a zombie and says “Maybe I wont turn into one”, kill him. Better an toàn, két an toàn than sorry.

Upstairs? Bad idea. Outside? Don’t go there....
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posted by tokidoki123
[The Simpsons] 1F02 - Homer Goes To College #255
Homer: I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
Contributed bởi funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F05 - Bart's Inner Child #32
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
Moe: They're heading for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not.
Moe: Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!
Contributed bởi funnytvquotes.com



[The Simpsons] 1F06 - Boy Scoutz 'N the mui xe #86
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what...
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1) Pay the ring bearer a dollar to pick his/her nose during the ceremony.

2) Laugh hysterically the whole time while the vows are being said.

3) Pay the hoa girl a dollar to heap the petals on the floor, and walk in front of the bride with the basket on her head.

4) Play a heavy metal song in your portable CD player during the procession. Make sure bạn disabled the piano/organ first.

5) Walk around, handing other guests copies of embarrassing pictures of your cousin, who is the one getting married.

6) Get your best friend to call bạn repeatedly during the ceremony. Make sure bạn set your ringtone to an irritating tone.

7) Paint yourself purple for the occasion.

8) "Trip" and spill Sô cô la fondue all over the bride.

9) Put a "kick me, I'm making a stupid di chuyển bởi getting married" sign on the groom's back.

10) "Invite" a pit bull.
 The Mew bánh pudding goes "Na no da"
The Mew Pudding goes "Na no da"
20. bánh pudding Fon "Tokyo mew mew" The cuties character in the anime she's hyper, active and has the best tình yêu interest despite not being the main character and only eight years old.

19.Hiei from "Yu Yu Hakusho" Hiei has the darkest life. He was thrown off a cliff as a child, torn from his family, Mất tích the only thing he had of them and then his sister was captured bởi the UGLIEST of all fat greedy bastards. No not the one from Disney's "Pocahontas".
 A sucky life gave him an attitude everyone loves
A sucky life gave him an attitude everyone loves

18.Snow White from "Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs" The most innocent of the Disney princess naive,...
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#10 Ask if they have change for a penny.
#9 Have one of your Những người bạn hit bạn on the back and spit out a piece of white gum hoặc a tic-tak, this will make people think they broke your tooth.
#8 Go to the mall and ask people if they have change for the payphone. Don't stop until bạn have $20 hoặc more.
#7 If bạn have to write a story for English class, write: Once upon a time, The end, and turn it in.
#6 After a lesson, if the teacher ask if there are any questions, ask something completely randon like "Where do em bé come from?"
#5 If the teacher leaves during the middle of a movie, get up and change the channel to Spongebob hoặc âm nhạc videos.
#4 Go around hát the Free Credit Report.com songs.
#3 Go around hitting people on the head and say: "Could've had a v8."
#2 Get a bra and use it to shoot eggs at people.
#1 When the intercom comes on, drop to your knees and yell, "NO! It's those voices again!
posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone bạn love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard hoặc hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as bạn open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 phút hoặc so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring hoặc your nails on the blackboard tiếp theo time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. tiếp theo buổi hòa nhạc bạn go to, yell out "Mmmbop!"...
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Happy October everyone. In celebration lets talk about one of the best October films, scream..

I don't think the late Wes Craven realized just how relevant this movie would end up. What with Columbine shooting, Colorado theatre shooting, and the constant scapegoating of violent media instead of accepting fault.. Hell it even inspired some assholes to dress up as GhostFace and attempt real life killing sprees..

All that, It truly makes the film hold up. That and all the classic Wes Craven goodness.

So the film starts off bởi famishly killing off Drew Barrymore after all the advertisements of the...
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So recently I've been watch a lot of Bad Girls Club as it just returned, it's kind of been a guilty pleasure show. As many know I like the female villain characters so I was thinking; what if I just put 'em all in a house together BGC style. For those of bạn who don't know, BGC is a hiển thị where they put 7 women ages 21 to 28 in a house together in hopes that the women can 'redeem each other'. But they usually just end up beating each other up lol. While some of the characters I chose are younger than 21 hoặc older than 28, I decided to go with it anyhow. I have thêm than 7 yêu thích characters...
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Something Beautiful
I was in a restless mood.
I tried to read and ended up with sách scattered all over the floor.
I tried listening to âm nhạc but all the words sounded out of tune.
I tried to write but ended up staring at a blank page for ten minutes.
So I decided to create something beautiful.
I wrote a song, drew a picture, and made a frame for it.
I took a photo, made a vase, and arranged some flowers.
I drew a tattoo on my hand, made a tower out of everything, climbed on my roof and did a dance.
But no matter how hard I try the most beautiful thing I ever created will always be you.
posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits tiếp theo Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have bạn tried hiển thị him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed bởi funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like bạn - very homosexually.
Contributed bởi funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - cá Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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