Twilight Funnies

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Six
BuffyFaithfan1
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[ELEVEN]
    "You're married?" I asked, and he nodded.
    "Her name is Olivia. We got married last Fall, and I tình yêu her. She knows about my Death Clan of the Fallen days, says my tattoo is sexy." I laughed. "She forgives me for what I've done, which is good. I didn't tell you, because she didn't want me to tell bạn yet. She was wanting to meet bạn first. But, I thought, once all of this is over, bạn can come over and meet her hoặc whatever." Tabra was rubbing his left ring finger,...

This is thêm to the fanfic i wrote Rensmee C. Cullen. If bạn didnt read that then this probably wont make much sense (:



“Renesmee, what do bạn think of all this?” my mom asked.
    “Well, I think it all makes thêm sense now. I think I was ready to know this. I always thought of Jacob. I always missed Jacob. I always wanted to be with Jacob. I never knew why. Now that I know he imprinted, it makes thêm sense.”
    My mother nodded.
    “We should probably get going,” I suggested. “I need to apologize to Uncle Emmett.”
    I...

*episode ten*
*The Breakfast Club*
*thinking*
Alice’s P.O.V:
Vomit is a color no-one likes.
They get sick.
They die…
Or worse…
They find out they’re…pregnant…
Like me.
*done thinking*
Carlisle: I found out why bạn are pregnant. I think bạn can get an abortion.
Alice: *focused on how she got pregnant* how did I get pregnant?
Carlisle: *rolls his eyes at the door* boys! Just come in.
Edward: *barges the door down* Thanks!
Emmett: Yeah.
Jasper: ALICE! *runs over and grabs her hand*
Bella: Anyways…
Carlisle: bạn got pregnant because the last time hoặc so bạn fed it was a pregnant animal-the pregnancy...

Every ngày for the past couple of weeks I have been with Mace, we either would go shopping,talk, do homework,or double ngày with each other...she was my Alice and I was my mom except I wasn't clumsy and didn't need saving 24/7.
"Homecoming is tiếp theo week." She đã đưa ý kiến to me as we sat in the living room of my grandparents house...she knew the whole story about my family and the wolves.
"Did someone say homecoming?" I heard my Aunt lice say as she came down sttairs and flitted over to us.
"Yeah, we have Homecoming tiếp theo weekend." Maci said. I gave her a look that made her confused.
"I'm taking bạn shopping...

chapter 2 is short so i added chapter 3. and i hope bạn like it :) i know i đã đăng this way to early :-p sorry if miss spelled hoặc words sound out of order :-p



Chapter 2
                    LUNCH
I sat where Jill was sitting. The same people from before. The blonde
Kid, the reporter with a few other people. They introduced themselves.
And I giggled when they all were done. I đã đưa ý kiến "I laugh a lot...sorry"
Ken rolled his eyes. I cracked up. Mart the one who bumped into me asked me "so Estella--" "call...

i feel like i could kill someone!
PRESS ONE BUTTON AND ALL I HAVE WROTE IS GONE! puff! shes gone!grr!!
TAKE FUCKING TWO!:


Coming out the ladies room was as Embarrassing as farting in class hoặc having really bad Bo, its the one WHERE EVERYONE LOOKS AT YOU!
i looked like i literally imerged in the toilet, my hair dripping of water wih chucks of pancakes, after fainting and my hair landing in the toilet. gross.
Alice held one arm, where Edward joined snatching my free arm at first sight.
This made me feel even thêm embarrassing, been dragged out the toilets in a crowed cinema bởi two angels?
stumbling...

Seth was still sleep when I got up. I wrote him a note to tell him I would be back in a while , if he woke up while I was gone.
I hopped in my car and drove down the familiar road and parked on the side walk when I got there. I walked threw the rows until I arrived at my mother's grave. I sat down and touched the headstone.
"Hi Mom."I đã đưa ý kiến to the grave."I miss bạn so much." I felt the tears streaming down my face."I like La Push,it has a beach.I met a guy. His name is Seth and he's perfect..I tình yêu him." I sat there in silence for a couple of minutes."I'm sorry ,mom..." was all I could manage...

I went trang chủ a couple hours of later. I didn't have to go to school because it was Thanksgiving break. So I decided to ask my dad can I drive down to Portland to visit my friends. He đã đưa ý kiến yes.
I was packing my bag for my trip when I heard the doorbell ring.."Coming!!"I yelled. I opened my door and Seth was standing there.
"Hey" I đã đưa ý kiến and gave him a hug. I went up stairs and he followed me. I closed my bag and sat it near my door.
"Where are bạn going?" Seth asked me.
"I'm going to Portland for break to visit some friends" I đã đưa ý kiến and sat down tiếp theo to him and he wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm coming...

Hi again, everyone! After three long and busy days, I've finally finished chp. 20 :D thank bạn so much for đọc and all your sweet các bình luận on my last post! I hope bạn all enjoy this one. Much love, as always, to each and every one of bạn all, from me!
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Love and War
Alice ran to embrace Summer, who was sitting on the floor of the living room in tears. She had no words to comfort her, but, thankfully, Jake did. Carlisle told him the news, and as soon as he told Sam, he came bursting into the Cullens’ trang chủ in a matter of minutes. He saw Summer...

My skin absorbed the sunlight in the schools courtyard, it was warm. For once in Forks, Washington there was actually heat. I almost felt like I was back in Phoenix, sipping nước chanh on a long outdoor chase, with my mom, Renee and Paul, my step-father.

"Bella!" Jacob đã đưa ý kiến running over to my stone bàn in the courtyard.

"Yeah, Jake?" I đã đưa ý kiến looking at him with a curious look. He was frantically shaking and he tried speaking but all that came out was gasps.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" I yelled, demanding him to talk.

"Bella, please, it was an accident!" Jacob whimpered.

"Jacob! What accident! Spit...

Here is Jacob's POV...I do want to warn bạn about this chapter...you will never expect what is coming!! ;) lol...well enjoy -Kayla

Chapter 12. (Jacob)

Edward finally left and Bella let me inside. "Why would bạn do this to Charlie? To him? To me?" I asked yet again. She didn't answer me. "Come on, Bells, there has to be a reason." I begged. I wanted an answer badly. "Well, I don't want to live in a house full of Charlie's rules when i'm old enough to get my own house and make my own rules." She stated. "You're not telling the truth. You're lieing." I told her. She sat on her giường and yawned. "Jake,...

I woke up in an unfamiliar room and in an unfamiliar áo sơ mi that was like 10 times bigger than it should be. I hoped out the giường and opened the door. Now I realized I was at Jake's , he was sleeping on the couch.
I went over , lifted up his arm and snuggled into him. I guess he felt the change because he woke up looked at me and smiled.
"Morning beautiful. How did bạn sleep." I wrinkled my nose and laughed
"YOU breath stinks but I like it." he smiled and rolled his eyes. "I slept well, but why am I at your House?"
He sat up taking me with him.
"Well, I didn't want to see Edward and I didn't want...

Chapter 8

You walk downstairs when bạn see all the lights off. bạn see a row of candles on the floor leading to the dining room. bạn follow the path and bạn see rose petals on the bàn and Emmett standing right tiếp theo to the bàn with his hands behind his back. bạn cant help but smile. He sees bạn and smiles back.

Emmett-(pulling out a chair) Ma'am.

You-(going to the chair and sitting down) Thank You.

Emmett pushes your chair in and he sits own tiếp theo to you.

You-What is this for Emmett?

Emmett-For you.

You-why?

Emmett-Because bạn deserve it and plus I wanted to ask bạn something.

You-Like what?

Emmett...

Chapter 7

You and Emmett walk in the door. And Alice comes over to bạn and hugs you.
Alice-I am so sorry to hear about your Mom ___
You-Thanks Alice.
Emmett-___, its late, do bạn want to go sleep?
You- Yeah, It's been a, really long day.
Emmett-Okay I'll go up with you.
You-Goodnight everyone
Everyone-night ___.

You and Emmett go up to his room and bạn see your vanity for your make up and your hair bởi a huge window in his room and bạn see your dresser right tiếp theo to it. bạn also see that your pajamas are set out on his bed. bạn knew alice did it, and bạn grabbed them and changed in the bathroom in...

ok im very sorry , for THE LONG WAIT, but ive been working flat out and i jsut hadnt been in the moosd, but im pumped and woah! i hope to do two chapters today but ill see how i go.
ok a recap. Bella is about to perform on stage.

Bella's POV.

This was it, the moment ive been practicing for. to get his attention again. I remember him saying that he diddnt want me, but this was my chance to prove to him how much i wanted him.
I searched over and over like a father looking for this remote as the super ball has ten phút of the game. To find the perfect song and that all the lyrics just fit....

Sabrina ended up sleeping in bạn guys room. Emmett sat her on the giường and bạn and him went hunting. bạn guys was out for like 8 hours. bạn guys got back and it was 7 in the morning. bạn woke Sabrina up and Emmett went to enroll her into school. bạn waited for him to get back. Alice, Rose, and Esme went shopping. Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper went on a hunting trip. So, that left bạn and Emmett the house. bạn heard him pull up. bạn turned off the T.V. and he came in.
You: So how did it go?
Em: Good. Where is everyone?
You: Edward, Jasper,and Dad went hunting. Alice, Rose and Mom went shopping.
He...

bạn guys got back to the house saw everyone sitting watching the news and heard Alice ask.
Alice: Can I plan the wedding? Please?
Everyone looked at bạn guys confused and bạn looked at Emmett and he nodded.
You: Of course.
Esme: Wait. bạn guys are engaged?
You smiled and nodded.
You: Yeah mom.
She got up and hugged bạn both.
You: Rose? bạn and Alice want to be my brides maids?
Rose/ Alice: Of course.
You smiled and hugged them.
Em: Jasper and Edward my grooms men?
They nodded and bạn asked.
You: Where are we moving now?
Carlisle: We are thinking about Alaska. How does that sound kids?
You: I like it there....

bạn had a knock at your bedroom door. bạn got up and answered it.
You: xin chào mama.
Esme: Time for bed.
You: Thank you.
You laid down and she came over to your giường and kissed your forehead.
Esme: Good night sweetheart.
You: Night mom I tình yêu you.
Esme: tình yêu bạn too.
She turned the CD on low and turned out the lights. bạn thouht about your ngày while listening to the music. bạn were about asleep when someone came into your room. bạn felt the teddy chịu, gấu in your arm and knew it was Emmett. bạn smiled and said.
You: Night Teddy Bear.
Em: Night
You fell asleep.
The Dream.
You were back in the forest and bạn looked...

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[NINETEEN]
(THIS PART IS IN TABRA's POINT OF VIEW!!)
    "I am drawing the rooms down, and nghề viết văn in the entrance places the bugs possibly enter in," My southern draw made a good additional piece, if I do say so myself.
    "Oh. I never understood exterminators. Just, carry along." He patted my back, and I went along to the tiếp theo room on this level of the castle.
    Whew! I thought. That was a close one!
    I carried on to a room that...

I'm so so happy bạn all are enjoying this story! Your comments, like always, are so sweet and loving. Thanks for đọc and for all your generous support. tình yêu bạn all!! Enjoy!! :]
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Lethal Independence
It was 10pm before Chloe drifted off to sleep in Summer’s arms. Athe and Chloe fussed over Summer every một giây once they found out she was injured. Summer was able to easily heal her bruise, but she didn’t understand why she was still being coddled like a feeble infant. As soon as Summer laid Chloe in her cũi, giường cũi and assured Athe that she was fine,...