When I got home, Charlie, Renée and Phil were just sitting down to have dinner, and I joined them.
"Hey dad, I wanted to talk to bạn about something." I đã đưa ý kiến as I put some rau xà lách, salad on my plate. Charlie insisted that I have vegetables with every meal. He was the one who told me what I could and couldn't eat, and also made sure I followed the "rules". Which was why I always went to Angela's for ice cream. Nowhere had I found anything to indicate that I shouldn't eat ice cream – I'd even asked Doctor Jamieson, who had đã đưa ý kiến that it was fine – but Charlie insisted that too much sugar wasn't good.
"What's up, Bells?"
"Well, I've been thinking about names for a while, and I remembered the story bạn used to tell me when I was little, about your great grandmother Lily. Do bạn remember?"
"Of course I remember." He chuckled. "You refused to sleep if I didn't tell bạn the story every night."
"I know. So I think I want to call her Lily." I smiled at Renée. "Lily Renée Swan. That way she gets something from both of you. What do bạn think?"
"Oh, honey, I think it's perfect!" Renée exclaimed, her eyes shiny with emotion.
"Yeah, Bells, that's a great name." Charlie mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. I realized that I had embarrassed him a little, but decided that he could take it for once.
Renée and Phil headed back to their giường and breakfast after dinner. I decided to make it an early night and curled up in giường with Nick Carraway. I didn't get far before my eyelids got heavy, and I put the book aside.
I hadn't had any nightmares in a while, but that night I woke up screaming again. Charlie came rushing into my room.
"What's wrong?"
I breathed deeply, trying to calm my racing heart.
"Nothing, just a dream."
"You scared the crap out of me, Bells." He sighed. "Try to go back to sleep, it's still early."
"I will."
I curled up under the covers as well as I could – my stomach was starting to get in the way. Wrapping the cover tightly around me, I closed my eyes.
It had been a new dream this time. I was walking along the bờ biển, bãi biển at La Push, a little girl with long, bronze colored hair and big, brown eyes walking tiếp theo to me, her hand in mine. Suddenly, she let go off my hand and ran down to the water, laughing as she went. I stayed where I was and watched her skipping through the shallow water. Then, out of nowhere, Edward was there. He scooped her up, and walked away from me. I ran after them, but the distance between us just grew, until they disappeared completely, and I woke up.
I wasn't sure what had brought the nightmare on. Maybe talking about the ngày he left had triggered something inside me.
I didn't sleep thêm that night.
xxxxx
"How can they even tell that it's a girl?" Mike asked the tiếp theo day, turning the ultrasound picture around in his hands. The store was empty, and we were once again sitting on the counter tiếp theo to the register.
"I have no idea." I admitted, yawning. My thêm hoặc less sleepless night was starting to take a toll on me. "But the doctor was pretty sure, so I'm taking her word for it. I've thought she was a girl all along, anyway."
"I'm guessing the nursery will be completely pink, then?" He gave me back the picture.
"There is no actual nursery, but I'm sure Angela will force me to get plenty of màu hồng, hồng stuff." I had started to dread the upcoming shopping trip a little. "We're going to Port Angeles on Saturday."
"Sounds like fun. What are bạn doing for New Years tomorrow?"
"Hanging out with Charlie, eating Chinese thực phẩm and watching Dick Clark." Renée and Phil were flying back to Florida that afternoon, so Charlie and I would be on our own again.
"I would invite bạn to go with Jess and me to Lauren's New Years Eve party, but I doubt you'd want to spend any thêm time than necessary in their company." Mike got a sheepish look on his face and avoided my eyes.
"As tempting as some public humiliation sounds, I think I'll put that off until school starts back up."
"Sounds smart." Mike nodded. "I've tried talking to Jess, I just don't understand why she doesn't want to be Những người bạn with bạn anymore."
I didn't want to tell Mike that the only thing Jessica cared about was what people thought of her, and that the only reason she had even hung out with me in the first place had probably been because I was new and attracted a lot of attention. She was his girlfriend, after all, no need to rub his nose in all her unflattering characteristics.
"It's OK, Mike, bạn don't have to try to get her to come around." I was perfectly fine without her company. "Some people just aren't meant to be friends." There, that was nice enough, right? Not judgmental at all.
"I guess. But I told her off when she asked me not to talk to bạn anymore. She can't tell me who to be Những người bạn with." His voice sounded defiant.
"Thanks."
An old man entered the store just then, and Mike jumped off the counter to go and help him. I climbed down using a chair. Mike showed the man to the right section of the store and then returned to me.
"I just remembered that I need to ask bạn a favor." I đã đưa ý kiến as he rounded the counter.
"What?"
"Well, I have to go to these Lamaze classes in Port Angeles on Wednesdays, the fist one's in two weeks, and since I work every other Wednesday, I was wondering if bạn could switch shifts with me."
"Sure, no problem. bạn want Tuesdays instead?"
"Really? Great, thank you."
"What Những người bạn are for."
xxxxx
The shopping trip with Angela turned out to be a lot of fun. Sure, my feet and back ached when we got home, but it was worth it.
We had found a lot of great stuff at The Kids Closet, and since everything had been on sale, I had gotten away with spending a lot less money than I had thought. Angela had insisted on buying a bunch of stuff too, and between what we had gotten and what Renée and Phil had được trao me for Christmas, I now had all the clothes, bottles, bibs, pacifiers and other little things that I would need for the first month, at least. Bigger things, like a crib, changing bàn and baby carriage I was saving up for from my salary.
The rest of the giáng sinh break was uneventful. I worked with Mike, and hung out with Angela most nights, since Ben was off trượt tuyết somewhere in Vermont with his parents. When I got trang chủ in the evenings, Charlie would always be down in the basement with the door locked. I tried to ask him what he was doing down there, but he avoided my question.
I got my answer the ngày before school started back up. Charlie came up from the basement with a satisfied look on his face just when I was finishing dinner.
"Come on, I want to hiển thị bạn something." He looked like a kid on Christmas.
I followed him down to the basement, where something was covered with a sheet in the middle of the floor.
"Stand over here." He placed me a few feet away. "Ta-da!" He pulled the sheet away, and I looked in awe at the piece of furniture in front of me.
"Wow." I ran my hand over the smooth, white wood of the crib. "Did bạn make this?" He shook his head.
"It's your old crib. I just fixed it up, painted it and stuff. Do bạn like it?" He looked worried, like he thought I wouldn't.
"I tình yêu it." I gave him a big hug that he awkwardly returned before quickly slipping away. I could already see the cũi, giường cũi under the window in my room, the Winnie the Pooh mobile hanging above it.
"I didn't know if bạn wanted it to be màu hồng, hồng hoặc not, so I thought white would work. I can get màu hồng, hồng paint if bạn want, though."
"Don't be silly, it's absolutely perfect."
He carried the cũi, giường cũi up to my room, and under my instructions placed it right under the window. I got the mobile from the closet and attached it to the crib.
"There." I wound it up, and we stood listening as the song played to an end.
xxxxx
If I had thought that the giáng sinh break would have made people tire of staring at me wherever I went hoặc whisper about me behind my back, I had been sorely mistaken. The first ngày back felt very much like the two weeks before the break. Angela, Ben, Austin and Mike were still the only students who actually spoke to me instead of about me.
My mood had been pretty good at the start of term, but the unwelcome attention from my fellow school mates along with the increasing ache in my back from the weight of the baby started to wear me down pretty soon. The fact that it was becoming increasingly difficult to sleep, since I couldn't find a position that was comfortable for longer than five phút at a time, didn't exactly help either. bởi February, I was starting to feel like the Michelin man, and I still had thêm than three months to go.
The Lamaze class in Port Angeles was interesting, but there, too, I was the one people looked at. The other mothers-to-be were all in their early thirties and accompanied bởi husbands hoặc boyfriends. They didn't stare as openly as the kids at school did, but it still made me uncomfortable.
"Do bạn want to do something Saturday?" Angela asked one ngày when we were walking to the parking lot after school. "You're not working, are you?"
"Nope, this is my Saturday off. What did bạn have in mind?"
"I don't know. Whatever bạn want." Angela shrugged, and I thought she sounded a little too casual. I wondered what that was about.
"Hang on." Something occurred to me. "Saturday's Valentine's Day."
"I was kind of hoping bạn didn't remember that." She đã đưa ý kiến with a sheepish look on her face.
"Angela, I'm not going to monopolize bạn on Valentine's Day. It's the first one bạn and Ben are spending together."
"It's fine, Bella. We're going out on Friday."
"No." I was not backing down on this.
"I just don't want bạn to be alone all day."
"I'll be fine. I'll ask Mike if I can take his shift at the store, he probably wants to spend the ngày with Jessica anyway."
"Are bạn sure?" Angela insisted.
"Yes, Ang. Spend the ngày with your boyfriend, at least one of us should have some fun."
"If you're positive." She still sounded hesitant.
"I am. There won't be any Valentine's stuff at the store anyway; I can pretend that it's just any day."
"OK." Angela agreed. "But promise to let me know if bạn change your mind."
"I will." I assured her.
But when I got home, I didn't call Newton's to talk to Mike. When I dropped my school bag on my bed, I noticed the envelope Angela had được trao me for giáng sinh on the desk. I pulled the gift certificate out. They were probably booked on Saturday, but it was worth a shot. I dialed the number on the card.
"Renaissance Massage and Wellness, how may I help you?" A pleasant, female voice answered.
"Yes, hi, I would like to know if I could schedule a massage on Saturday?"
"Let me just check… yes, we have an opening at three. What kind of massage would bạn like?"
"I think it's called MoMA."
"Oh, yes, our mother's massage. I'm sure bạn will enjoy it. And what name should I put the appointment in?"
"Bella Swan."
"OK, Bella. Now, bạn need to be here twenty phút before your scheduled appointment, since there is a form to fill out before the actual massage. Do bạn know your way around Port Angeles?"
I had passed the place a couple of times, and was pretty sure I could find it.
"I think I will find it, thank you."
"Good. Then I hope bạn will have a pleasant experience here with us on Saturday."
When I hung up the phone, the bad mood I had been in lately had brightened somewhat. I deserved to pamper myself a little; it could be my Valentine's present to myself.
xxxxx
Charlie and I had lunch before I left for Port Angeles that Saturday. I found the massage place without a problem, and walked into the building.
"Welcome to Renaissance." A blonde woman with a big smile on her face greeted me from behind a counter inside the doors.
"Hi." I walked up to the counter. "I have an appointment at three."
"Miss Swan?"
"Yes."
She handed me a piece of paper and a pen, the smile still in place; my cheeks were starting to hurt just from looking at her.
"I need bạn to fill this out; bạn can sit down right over there. Your massage therapist will be out in just a little while."
I took a ghế, chỗ ngồi in one of the armchairs she had indicated and filled out the form. After a few minutes, another woman came into the reception area, a smile similar to that of the receptionist's on her face as she approached me.
"Miss Swan?"
"Yes." I stood up.
"My name is Rebecca, I'll be your massage therapist." She held out her hand and I shook it.
"Bella."
"Bella, then. I can take that." She took the form I had just filled out. "Right this way." I followed her through a door and down a corridor. Soft, classical âm nhạc was playing in the background. "Here we are."
She held open a door for me and followed me into the room. There was a massage bàn with a big hole in it in the middle of the room – I had wondered how that would work – and candles covered the flat surfaces around the room.
"I will leave bạn to get undressed. bạn can keep your underwear on. Just lie down on your back and cover yourself with the sheet when you're done."
Rebecca left the room and I followed her instructions, folding my clothes and putting them on a chair bởi the wall. When I had been ready for a couple of minutes, she opened the door slightly.
"Are bạn ready?"
"Yes."
She came back into the room.
"Are there any areas in particular that bạn want me to focus on?" She asked, taking a bottle of massage oil from a table.
"The back, I guess." It had been aching almost constantly the last couple of weeks.
"I see."
She stood at the head of the bàn and started massaging my shoulders. I closed my eyes and let the low background âm nhạc and her soft hands relax my body.
Showers and Dancing
I was thêm relaxed over the tiếp theo couple of days than I had been in months. For almost a week , the after effects of the massage made my mood much lighter, and not even Lauren's evil looks hoặc Jessica's cold shoulder could affect me.
February passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was the middle of March. The preliminary due ngày I had been được trao bởi Doctor Jamieson loomed on the horizon, and I was slowly starting to freak out. I didn't handle pain very well, and the one thing I was sure about when it came to the birth was that it would be painful.
"It'll be fine." Angela tried to assure me one afternoon when we were sitting in the Coffee Shop. "There are tons of drugs they can give you, bạn won't feel a thing."
"God, I hope you're right." I grimaced.
"Try not to worry about it." She suggested, and I stared at her incredulously.
"That'll be easy."
Renée had told me the story of when I was born too many times for me to be able to relax at all; hours and hours of labor, people prodding every possible and impossible part of your body, hearty nurses telling bạn to "tuff it out".
At the end of March, I finally had enough money saved up to get a baby carriage. I had been shocked when I had first done an internet tìm kiếm to find a good carriage – they were very expensive. I had found a couple that were combined baby carriages and strollers – they could be used for several years, which was a definite plus – but they were all at least $400. I also had to get a car seat, which luckily was not as expensive. Charlie had searched the basement a little thêm thoroughly and unearthed my old high chair, so that was one less thing to worry about. He had also gotten a good deal on a used playpen from a friend. I still wasn't sure what to do about a changing table, since neither my room nor the bathroom were large enough to actually fit one.
So, the last Saturday in March, Angela and I headed to Port Angeles. There was a store there that sold everything from toys to furniture and clothes; I had brought all my savings, and was prepared to use them.
"This one is nice." Angela noted, picking up a car seat. It was pretty neutral, in white and gray, and had all the things I had put on my list.
"That's a very good choice." A sales clerk came up to us, a friendly smile on her face. "That model has been very popular, and so far no unhappy customers."
"How much is it?" I asked warily. The price really was essential.
"Since this particular model is no longer available from the manufacturer, we've just lowered the price to $79. And if there's anything else bạn need, I'm sure I can make bạn a good deal."
I was starting to like this store.
"Well, I was looking to get a baby carriage too." I said, glancing around the store. "Do bạn have any of those combined strollers and carriages?"
"We certainly do." The woman escorted us over to a corner of the store, where several different strollers were gathered. "These người mẫu are all combinations, and come with both a bassinette and a toddler seat, so you'll be all set."
"Which one would bạn recommend?" I had tried to educate myself on the importance of different things when it came to strollers, but hadn't quite understood everything I had read.
"Well, they're all good." She studied the different strollers for a brief moment. "This one is on sale right now, and it's been quite a best-seller, a yêu thích among our customers." She indicated a red stroller close to the wall.
I silently thanked her for understanding that money was an issue without me having to say it.
"It used to be available in several different colors, but I'm afraid we only have the red one left." She apologized.
"That's OK, I'll take it."
The clerk went to the storage room to get a stroller that was still boxed up, and Angela carried the car ghế, chỗ ngồi over to the check-out counter.
"I might actually have some money left after this." I contemplated out loud. I didn't know how much the stroller was, but it should be less than I had calculated since it was on sale.
The clerk returned with a box on a cart.
"Let's see then." She came around the counter. "That's $79 for the car seat, and $400 for the stroller, and half off on that one…" She gave me a quick smile. "Let's make it $250 total."
I quickly got the sum out of my wallet and handed her the money.
"Thank you." She put the money into the register before giving me the receipt. "Save that, because there's a two năm guarantee on both the stroller and the car seat."
"I will. Thank bạn very much."
I took the receipt in one hand and the car ghế, chỗ ngồi in the other. Angela grabbed the box with the stroller and managed to haul it out the door and to her car in the parking lot. I opened the door and she heaved the box into the backseat. I put the car ghế, chỗ ngồi into the trunk, and we both got into the car.
"Wow, I still have thêm than three hundred left." I counted the bills in my wallet. I had no doubt that the money would come in use later, but for the moment I felt rich.
"We got lucky." Angela noted.
"Definitely."
When we got back to my place, Charlie came out and helped us unload the stroller. He took the box and the car ghế, chỗ ngồi down to the basement, where they would be the least in the way until they were needed.
"Could bạn turn your computer on?" Charlie wondered when he came back upstairs. "I want to hiển thị bạn something I found."
I gave him a wary look, but headed upstairs and turned the practically antique machine on. I hadn't even been aware that Charlie knew how to use a computer; he had always seemed to be one of those anti-technology guys.
"Go out on that internet thing." He đã đưa ý kiến when the computer had finally finished loading, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. When the internet window had opened, he typed the address into the url-window with his index fingers. It took a while.
"I didn't know bạn were such a computer wiz." I teased when he hit enter. We waited as the page loaded.
"Mark showed me this." He explained. "There." He pointed at the screen, and I looked at it.
There was a picture of a plastic changing bàn attached to the wall, the kind bạn found in public restrooms.
"You can hang it on the tường in the bathroom." Charlie needlessly explained. "It won't take up any không gian at all when you're not using it."
"That's great dad." Another problem solved.
"Mark helped me order it at work, so it should be getting here tiếp theo week."
"Thanks, dad." I squeezed his hand in an appreciative gesture.
"No problem." He mumbled, going slightly red from my display of affection. He pulled his hand away and shuffled out of the room. When I heard him turn the ti vi on in the living room, I couldn't help but laugh to myself.
xxxxx
March turned into April, and Charlie started talking about trading my truck in for another car.
"Why?" I whined, not caring that I sounded very much like a petulant child. I loved my truck; it wasn't just a car, it had personality.
"It's not a suitable car, Bella." Charlie tried to explain. "You can't put the car ghế, chỗ ngồi in the truck." I pouted, but didn't argue. Even though I didn't want to give up my truck, I realized that he had a point. That didn't stop me from moping a little, though.
The following afternoon, we went to Port Angeles to try to find a car that was "suitable". Charlie knew a guy who knew a guy that owned a dealership there, and would give us a good deal.
When we got there, the guy took one look at my beloved truck and snickered.
"I don't have a lot that bạn can trade that old thing for, but if bạn can throw in a few thousand, I've got just the car for you."
I didn't like him – he was hurting my truck's feelings.
"One thousand." Charlie replied, and I nudged him in the ribs. I didn't have a thousand dollars, and even if I'd had that kind of money, I wouldn't have spent it on a car. "Don't worry, Bells. I got it." He mumbled.
The guy led us over to a blue sedan with fluffy, white dices hanging from the rear view mirror. I instantly disliked it – not for any sensible reason, just out of principle.
"Accord, 1990. Engine in perfect condition." The guy patted the hood. "You're not going to get a better deal anywhere else, I can tell bạn that."
"What do bạn think, Bells?" Charlie wondered, turning to me.
"It's fine." I shrugged, looking away from the fluffy dices – they would definitely have to go.
I knew it was just a car, but I was going to miss my truck.
"I'll give bạn five hundred." Charlie countered, turning back to the car salesman.
"Seven fifty. That's the best I can do."
"OK." They shook on the deal, and the guy went to get the necessary papers.
I drove the Accord back to Forks, and it was nothing like the truck. The engine wasn't exactly quiet, but it was nowhere near the racket the truck made. And it smelled funny; not bad, really, just… weird, somehow.
"I'll take it to Joe's tomorrow; he'll do a thorough cleaning." Charlie said, wrinkling his nose.
"Thanks."
xxxxx
April brought spring to Forks, and I was glad to finally be able to put my parka back in the basement. I hadn't been able to close it in over a month, and didn't feel like buying a new winter jacket.
An unusually warm night the week after Easter, Angela and I were walking through Tillicum Park. Doctor Jamieson had ordered me to take a walk at least three times a week.
"So, less than four weeks left." Angela noted. "How does it feel?"
"Like I'm about ready to explode." I complained. Doctor Jamieson had đã đưa ý kiến that I was smaller than what was normal at thirty six weeks, and having seen các bức ảnh of other pregnant women, I did believe her. Of course, knowing that didn't help at all – I was still thêm than a little uncomfortable.
"It'll be over soon." Angela đã đưa ý kiến encouragingly.
"Yeah. I sure hope this kid is punctual."
Angela laughed.
Everything was ready at the house; the cũi, giường cũi was fully equipped, the extra dresser I had gotten was full of the essentials, the high chair in place in the kitchen, stroller just inside the door, car ghế, chỗ ngồi in the car. The changing bàn was hanging on the tường in the bathroom, having arrived a few days after Charlie had ordered it.
One good thing about my current waist measurement was that Angela picked me up for school in the mornings; I had only been able to drive the Accord for about a week, before I could no longer reach the pedals if I put the ghế, chỗ ngồi far enough back to actually fit behind the wheel. I still hadn't bonded with me new car, and I was in no rush.
"You about ready to head home?" Angela asked, and I nodded.
"Yeah, this should be enough exercise for one day."
We headed in the direction of her car, and a few phút later, she dropped me off at home.
"See bạn tomorrow." I said, pushing off from the ghế, chỗ ngồi to get out of the car.
"Same time, same place." Angela smiled as she pulled out from the curb, and I waved before going inside.
Charlie was in the living room, watching a bóng rổ game. I had never really understood the beauty of tall guys chasing a rubber ball around a court, trying to get it through a hoop, but I flopped down tiếp theo to him on the couch.
"Good walk?" He asked, eyes never leaving the screen. The game must be exciting.
"I guess." I shrugged.
"Renée called earlier." He continued. "She's booked a flight on the first."
"That's thêm than a week early. She doesn't have to come here so soon." I objected.
"I told her that too, but she only mumbled something about em bé coming early all the time, and that she didn't want to miss anything." He shrugged. "You can always try reasoning with her." The last part was đã đưa ý kiến in a sarcastic tone, and I chose to ignore it.
"But Doctor Jamieson đã đưa ý kiến that it's far thêm likely that I'll go past the due ngày than that anything will happen before it." I pointed out.
"You know Renée." Apparently, he thought that was enough of an explanation.
I sighed. He was right, of course; if she had her mind set on something, there was nothing that could convince her otherwise.
Normally, Renée and I got along great, but I had been getting annoyed bởi her overprotective behavior even over the phone lately, and was worried that we would get on each other's nerves when she was actually in the same house.
"It'll be fine, Bells." Charlie said, as if he knew what I was thinking. "She's just a bit extreme because she's all the way across the country, it'll be better once she's here."
"I hope so." At least it couldn't get any worse… hoặc so I hoped.
xxxxx
As I got closer to the due ngày – and as my belly expanded – I got less and less nervous about the actual birth, and thêm and thêm anxious for the whole thing to just be over. I wanted time to di chuyển faster and, of course, expected it to do the exact opposite, which – in my experience – was usually the case.
So I was surprised when I woke up one morning, and realized that it was May. As I took a vòi hoa sen and got dressed, I briefly wondered what had happened to the rest of April.
"You ready to go soon?" Charlie asked when I waddled into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp for breakfast. There really was no other word for the way I moved these days.
"Yeah, just need some food." I poured some muesli and sữa into a bowl and grabbed two slices of bread, popping them in the toaster. I finished off the muesli as I waited for the lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ to return my bánh mỳ, bánh mì slices, and then I quickly spread some bơ and dâu, dâu tây mứt on them and swallowed them in a few bites.
"Hungry?"
I looked up to find Charlie watching me with an amused look on his face. I only glared at him in response.
"Let's go."
Renée was even thêm overwhelming than she had been at Christmas. She started crying when she spotted us, and I wondered if she had gotten a dose of my hormones.
"I'm so glad to be here." She mumbled as she wrapped her arms loosely around me.
"Mom, I'm not made of glass." I said, squeezing her thêm tightly.
"I know, sweetie, I know." But her hug was still a little too careful.
I spent the ride back to Forks in silence, not having to participate in the conversation Charlie and Renée were having in the front seat. She was interrogating him, making sure everything was in order for the impending arrival. He assured her that it was, but her doubtful tone made me think she wasn't convinced.
She did approve of everything when we got to the house though. She admired the cũi, giường cũi that Charlie had fixed up, thought the changing bàn was very practical, and was impressed bởi the good deal I had gotten on the stroller and car seat.
Charlie left Renée and me alone that night, going out to La Push to spend some time with Billy. I suspected that he had gotten an overdose of estrogen and needed to do some manly things; watch some sports hoặc do some fishing, perhaps. Renée and I curled up on the đi văng – well, she did, I just tried my best to find a somewhat comfortable position – with ice cream and Thelma and Louise. Brad Pitt was a nice bonus.
"So." Renée stated after a while. "Are bạn ready for this?"
"I'm thêm than ready not to be this uncomfortable all the time." I replied. "As for the part that comes after that… I don't know. I guess we'll have to see.
"I think you're going to be an amazing mom."
I hadn't quite come to terms with the word "mom" being used about myself, but the way Renée đã đưa ý kiến it sounded nice.
"I hope so." I sighed. "I mean, I've read everything. I know what to do in theory, but in practice…"
"You'll do fine." She cut me off.
"Thanks, mom. It's nice to hear." I shifted a little on the đi văng so I could lean my head against her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me as well as she could.
"My little girl." I heard her mumble quietly. "All growed up."
xxxxx
I didn't suspect anything when Renée dragged me out of the house for a walk after lunch the following day. I didn't have any reason to. Of course, looking back, I should have known that the way she winked at Charlie and his almost imperceptible nod in return meant that the two of them were up to no good. Maybe I was just not as observant as usual.
Either way, I was completely caught off guard when we reentered the house an giờ later and were met bởi "SURPRISE!" shouted bởi several people in the living room.
"What is this?" I asked, trying to make sense of the scene in front of me. Angela came up and gave me a hug.
"A baby shower, silly." She pulled me over to the couch, sitting down tiếp theo to me. Renée claimed the ghế, chỗ ngồi on my other side.
I felt tears rise in my eyes, and impatiently wiped them away. I should have known that Angela would pull something like this, but I honestly hadn't seen it coming. Again with the inattentiveness.
The room seemed crowded, even though there weren't that many people there. Mrs. Newton was sitting in one of the armchairs, Angela's mom in the other. Ben was tiếp theo to Angela on the couch, and Mike was perched tiếp theo to him on the arm rest. Charlie hovered bởi the wall, looking thêm uncomfortable than I had ever seen him before.
"I know showers are normally girls only, but I thought…" Angela trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence, but I knew what she meant. The girls at school didn't even speak to me if they could avoid it.
"It's perfect, Ang." I assured her. "Thank bạn so much."
"OK, presents!" She excitedly exclaimed.
I spent the tiếp theo half giờ opening gifts, getting even thêm clothes and toys, a diaper genie from Mike and his mom, and various other things.
After all the presents were opened, Renée went into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and came back with a cake. We all ate and talked until people started to leave a few hours later. Angela knew me well; she hadn't planned any "normal" baby vòi hoa sen games, and I was grateful.
Angela and her mom were the last to leave. I gave them both big hugs at the door.
"Thank bạn so much." I đã đưa ý kiến again, and again, I had trouble keeping the tears at bay.
"You're welcome." Angela hugged me back tightly.
"Did bạn have a good time?" Renée asked anxiously as I came back into the living room.
"The best." I assured her. I saw her visibly relax, and realized she must have been worried that I wouldn't appreciate the surprise party. I couldn't blame her; normally, I hated attention of every kind, but the vòi hoa sen had been really nice.
"You have some pretty amazing friends." She remarked.
"I know."
"Hey dad, I wanted to talk to bạn about something." I đã đưa ý kiến as I put some rau xà lách, salad on my plate. Charlie insisted that I have vegetables with every meal. He was the one who told me what I could and couldn't eat, and also made sure I followed the "rules". Which was why I always went to Angela's for ice cream. Nowhere had I found anything to indicate that I shouldn't eat ice cream – I'd even asked Doctor Jamieson, who had đã đưa ý kiến that it was fine – but Charlie insisted that too much sugar wasn't good.
"What's up, Bells?"
"Well, I've been thinking about names for a while, and I remembered the story bạn used to tell me when I was little, about your great grandmother Lily. Do bạn remember?"
"Of course I remember." He chuckled. "You refused to sleep if I didn't tell bạn the story every night."
"I know. So I think I want to call her Lily." I smiled at Renée. "Lily Renée Swan. That way she gets something from both of you. What do bạn think?"
"Oh, honey, I think it's perfect!" Renée exclaimed, her eyes shiny with emotion.
"Yeah, Bells, that's a great name." Charlie mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. I realized that I had embarrassed him a little, but decided that he could take it for once.
Renée and Phil headed back to their giường and breakfast after dinner. I decided to make it an early night and curled up in giường with Nick Carraway. I didn't get far before my eyelids got heavy, and I put the book aside.
I hadn't had any nightmares in a while, but that night I woke up screaming again. Charlie came rushing into my room.
"What's wrong?"
I breathed deeply, trying to calm my racing heart.
"Nothing, just a dream."
"You scared the crap out of me, Bells." He sighed. "Try to go back to sleep, it's still early."
"I will."
I curled up under the covers as well as I could – my stomach was starting to get in the way. Wrapping the cover tightly around me, I closed my eyes.
It had been a new dream this time. I was walking along the bờ biển, bãi biển at La Push, a little girl with long, bronze colored hair and big, brown eyes walking tiếp theo to me, her hand in mine. Suddenly, she let go off my hand and ran down to the water, laughing as she went. I stayed where I was and watched her skipping through the shallow water. Then, out of nowhere, Edward was there. He scooped her up, and walked away from me. I ran after them, but the distance between us just grew, until they disappeared completely, and I woke up.
I wasn't sure what had brought the nightmare on. Maybe talking about the ngày he left had triggered something inside me.
I didn't sleep thêm that night.
xxxxx
"How can they even tell that it's a girl?" Mike asked the tiếp theo day, turning the ultrasound picture around in his hands. The store was empty, and we were once again sitting on the counter tiếp theo to the register.
"I have no idea." I admitted, yawning. My thêm hoặc less sleepless night was starting to take a toll on me. "But the doctor was pretty sure, so I'm taking her word for it. I've thought she was a girl all along, anyway."
"I'm guessing the nursery will be completely pink, then?" He gave me back the picture.
"There is no actual nursery, but I'm sure Angela will force me to get plenty of màu hồng, hồng stuff." I had started to dread the upcoming shopping trip a little. "We're going to Port Angeles on Saturday."
"Sounds like fun. What are bạn doing for New Years tomorrow?"
"Hanging out with Charlie, eating Chinese thực phẩm and watching Dick Clark." Renée and Phil were flying back to Florida that afternoon, so Charlie and I would be on our own again.
"I would invite bạn to go with Jess and me to Lauren's New Years Eve party, but I doubt you'd want to spend any thêm time than necessary in their company." Mike got a sheepish look on his face and avoided my eyes.
"As tempting as some public humiliation sounds, I think I'll put that off until school starts back up."
"Sounds smart." Mike nodded. "I've tried talking to Jess, I just don't understand why she doesn't want to be Những người bạn with bạn anymore."
I didn't want to tell Mike that the only thing Jessica cared about was what people thought of her, and that the only reason she had even hung out with me in the first place had probably been because I was new and attracted a lot of attention. She was his girlfriend, after all, no need to rub his nose in all her unflattering characteristics.
"It's OK, Mike, bạn don't have to try to get her to come around." I was perfectly fine without her company. "Some people just aren't meant to be friends." There, that was nice enough, right? Not judgmental at all.
"I guess. But I told her off when she asked me not to talk to bạn anymore. She can't tell me who to be Những người bạn with." His voice sounded defiant.
"Thanks."
An old man entered the store just then, and Mike jumped off the counter to go and help him. I climbed down using a chair. Mike showed the man to the right section of the store and then returned to me.
"I just remembered that I need to ask bạn a favor." I đã đưa ý kiến as he rounded the counter.
"What?"
"Well, I have to go to these Lamaze classes in Port Angeles on Wednesdays, the fist one's in two weeks, and since I work every other Wednesday, I was wondering if bạn could switch shifts with me."
"Sure, no problem. bạn want Tuesdays instead?"
"Really? Great, thank you."
"What Những người bạn are for."
xxxxx
The shopping trip with Angela turned out to be a lot of fun. Sure, my feet and back ached when we got home, but it was worth it.
We had found a lot of great stuff at The Kids Closet, and since everything had been on sale, I had gotten away with spending a lot less money than I had thought. Angela had insisted on buying a bunch of stuff too, and between what we had gotten and what Renée and Phil had được trao me for Christmas, I now had all the clothes, bottles, bibs, pacifiers and other little things that I would need for the first month, at least. Bigger things, like a crib, changing bàn and baby carriage I was saving up for from my salary.
The rest of the giáng sinh break was uneventful. I worked with Mike, and hung out with Angela most nights, since Ben was off trượt tuyết somewhere in Vermont with his parents. When I got trang chủ in the evenings, Charlie would always be down in the basement with the door locked. I tried to ask him what he was doing down there, but he avoided my question.
I got my answer the ngày before school started back up. Charlie came up from the basement with a satisfied look on his face just when I was finishing dinner.
"Come on, I want to hiển thị bạn something." He looked like a kid on Christmas.
I followed him down to the basement, where something was covered with a sheet in the middle of the floor.
"Stand over here." He placed me a few feet away. "Ta-da!" He pulled the sheet away, and I looked in awe at the piece of furniture in front of me.
"Wow." I ran my hand over the smooth, white wood of the crib. "Did bạn make this?" He shook his head.
"It's your old crib. I just fixed it up, painted it and stuff. Do bạn like it?" He looked worried, like he thought I wouldn't.
"I tình yêu it." I gave him a big hug that he awkwardly returned before quickly slipping away. I could already see the cũi, giường cũi under the window in my room, the Winnie the Pooh mobile hanging above it.
"I didn't know if bạn wanted it to be màu hồng, hồng hoặc not, so I thought white would work. I can get màu hồng, hồng paint if bạn want, though."
"Don't be silly, it's absolutely perfect."
He carried the cũi, giường cũi up to my room, and under my instructions placed it right under the window. I got the mobile from the closet and attached it to the crib.
"There." I wound it up, and we stood listening as the song played to an end.
xxxxx
If I had thought that the giáng sinh break would have made people tire of staring at me wherever I went hoặc whisper about me behind my back, I had been sorely mistaken. The first ngày back felt very much like the two weeks before the break. Angela, Ben, Austin and Mike were still the only students who actually spoke to me instead of about me.
My mood had been pretty good at the start of term, but the unwelcome attention from my fellow school mates along with the increasing ache in my back from the weight of the baby started to wear me down pretty soon. The fact that it was becoming increasingly difficult to sleep, since I couldn't find a position that was comfortable for longer than five phút at a time, didn't exactly help either. bởi February, I was starting to feel like the Michelin man, and I still had thêm than three months to go.
The Lamaze class in Port Angeles was interesting, but there, too, I was the one people looked at. The other mothers-to-be were all in their early thirties and accompanied bởi husbands hoặc boyfriends. They didn't stare as openly as the kids at school did, but it still made me uncomfortable.
"Do bạn want to do something Saturday?" Angela asked one ngày when we were walking to the parking lot after school. "You're not working, are you?"
"Nope, this is my Saturday off. What did bạn have in mind?"
"I don't know. Whatever bạn want." Angela shrugged, and I thought she sounded a little too casual. I wondered what that was about.
"Hang on." Something occurred to me. "Saturday's Valentine's Day."
"I was kind of hoping bạn didn't remember that." She đã đưa ý kiến with a sheepish look on her face.
"Angela, I'm not going to monopolize bạn on Valentine's Day. It's the first one bạn and Ben are spending together."
"It's fine, Bella. We're going out on Friday."
"No." I was not backing down on this.
"I just don't want bạn to be alone all day."
"I'll be fine. I'll ask Mike if I can take his shift at the store, he probably wants to spend the ngày with Jessica anyway."
"Are bạn sure?" Angela insisted.
"Yes, Ang. Spend the ngày with your boyfriend, at least one of us should have some fun."
"If you're positive." She still sounded hesitant.
"I am. There won't be any Valentine's stuff at the store anyway; I can pretend that it's just any day."
"OK." Angela agreed. "But promise to let me know if bạn change your mind."
"I will." I assured her.
But when I got home, I didn't call Newton's to talk to Mike. When I dropped my school bag on my bed, I noticed the envelope Angela had được trao me for giáng sinh on the desk. I pulled the gift certificate out. They were probably booked on Saturday, but it was worth a shot. I dialed the number on the card.
"Renaissance Massage and Wellness, how may I help you?" A pleasant, female voice answered.
"Yes, hi, I would like to know if I could schedule a massage on Saturday?"
"Let me just check… yes, we have an opening at three. What kind of massage would bạn like?"
"I think it's called MoMA."
"Oh, yes, our mother's massage. I'm sure bạn will enjoy it. And what name should I put the appointment in?"
"Bella Swan."
"OK, Bella. Now, bạn need to be here twenty phút before your scheduled appointment, since there is a form to fill out before the actual massage. Do bạn know your way around Port Angeles?"
I had passed the place a couple of times, and was pretty sure I could find it.
"I think I will find it, thank you."
"Good. Then I hope bạn will have a pleasant experience here with us on Saturday."
When I hung up the phone, the bad mood I had been in lately had brightened somewhat. I deserved to pamper myself a little; it could be my Valentine's present to myself.
xxxxx
Charlie and I had lunch before I left for Port Angeles that Saturday. I found the massage place without a problem, and walked into the building.
"Welcome to Renaissance." A blonde woman with a big smile on her face greeted me from behind a counter inside the doors.
"Hi." I walked up to the counter. "I have an appointment at three."
"Miss Swan?"
"Yes."
She handed me a piece of paper and a pen, the smile still in place; my cheeks were starting to hurt just from looking at her.
"I need bạn to fill this out; bạn can sit down right over there. Your massage therapist will be out in just a little while."
I took a ghế, chỗ ngồi in one of the armchairs she had indicated and filled out the form. After a few minutes, another woman came into the reception area, a smile similar to that of the receptionist's on her face as she approached me.
"Miss Swan?"
"Yes." I stood up.
"My name is Rebecca, I'll be your massage therapist." She held out her hand and I shook it.
"Bella."
"Bella, then. I can take that." She took the form I had just filled out. "Right this way." I followed her through a door and down a corridor. Soft, classical âm nhạc was playing in the background. "Here we are."
She held open a door for me and followed me into the room. There was a massage bàn with a big hole in it in the middle of the room – I had wondered how that would work – and candles covered the flat surfaces around the room.
"I will leave bạn to get undressed. bạn can keep your underwear on. Just lie down on your back and cover yourself with the sheet when you're done."
Rebecca left the room and I followed her instructions, folding my clothes and putting them on a chair bởi the wall. When I had been ready for a couple of minutes, she opened the door slightly.
"Are bạn ready?"
"Yes."
She came back into the room.
"Are there any areas in particular that bạn want me to focus on?" She asked, taking a bottle of massage oil from a table.
"The back, I guess." It had been aching almost constantly the last couple of weeks.
"I see."
She stood at the head of the bàn and started massaging my shoulders. I closed my eyes and let the low background âm nhạc and her soft hands relax my body.
Showers and Dancing
I was thêm relaxed over the tiếp theo couple of days than I had been in months. For almost a week , the after effects of the massage made my mood much lighter, and not even Lauren's evil looks hoặc Jessica's cold shoulder could affect me.
February passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was the middle of March. The preliminary due ngày I had been được trao bởi Doctor Jamieson loomed on the horizon, and I was slowly starting to freak out. I didn't handle pain very well, and the one thing I was sure about when it came to the birth was that it would be painful.
"It'll be fine." Angela tried to assure me one afternoon when we were sitting in the Coffee Shop. "There are tons of drugs they can give you, bạn won't feel a thing."
"God, I hope you're right." I grimaced.
"Try not to worry about it." She suggested, and I stared at her incredulously.
"That'll be easy."
Renée had told me the story of when I was born too many times for me to be able to relax at all; hours and hours of labor, people prodding every possible and impossible part of your body, hearty nurses telling bạn to "tuff it out".
At the end of March, I finally had enough money saved up to get a baby carriage. I had been shocked when I had first done an internet tìm kiếm to find a good carriage – they were very expensive. I had found a couple that were combined baby carriages and strollers – they could be used for several years, which was a definite plus – but they were all at least $400. I also had to get a car seat, which luckily was not as expensive. Charlie had searched the basement a little thêm thoroughly and unearthed my old high chair, so that was one less thing to worry about. He had also gotten a good deal on a used playpen from a friend. I still wasn't sure what to do about a changing table, since neither my room nor the bathroom were large enough to actually fit one.
So, the last Saturday in March, Angela and I headed to Port Angeles. There was a store there that sold everything from toys to furniture and clothes; I had brought all my savings, and was prepared to use them.
"This one is nice." Angela noted, picking up a car seat. It was pretty neutral, in white and gray, and had all the things I had put on my list.
"That's a very good choice." A sales clerk came up to us, a friendly smile on her face. "That model has been very popular, and so far no unhappy customers."
"How much is it?" I asked warily. The price really was essential.
"Since this particular model is no longer available from the manufacturer, we've just lowered the price to $79. And if there's anything else bạn need, I'm sure I can make bạn a good deal."
I was starting to like this store.
"Well, I was looking to get a baby carriage too." I said, glancing around the store. "Do bạn have any of those combined strollers and carriages?"
"We certainly do." The woman escorted us over to a corner of the store, where several different strollers were gathered. "These người mẫu are all combinations, and come with both a bassinette and a toddler seat, so you'll be all set."
"Which one would bạn recommend?" I had tried to educate myself on the importance of different things when it came to strollers, but hadn't quite understood everything I had read.
"Well, they're all good." She studied the different strollers for a brief moment. "This one is on sale right now, and it's been quite a best-seller, a yêu thích among our customers." She indicated a red stroller close to the wall.
I silently thanked her for understanding that money was an issue without me having to say it.
"It used to be available in several different colors, but I'm afraid we only have the red one left." She apologized.
"That's OK, I'll take it."
The clerk went to the storage room to get a stroller that was still boxed up, and Angela carried the car ghế, chỗ ngồi over to the check-out counter.
"I might actually have some money left after this." I contemplated out loud. I didn't know how much the stroller was, but it should be less than I had calculated since it was on sale.
The clerk returned with a box on a cart.
"Let's see then." She came around the counter. "That's $79 for the car seat, and $400 for the stroller, and half off on that one…" She gave me a quick smile. "Let's make it $250 total."
I quickly got the sum out of my wallet and handed her the money.
"Thank you." She put the money into the register before giving me the receipt. "Save that, because there's a two năm guarantee on both the stroller and the car seat."
"I will. Thank bạn very much."
I took the receipt in one hand and the car ghế, chỗ ngồi in the other. Angela grabbed the box with the stroller and managed to haul it out the door and to her car in the parking lot. I opened the door and she heaved the box into the backseat. I put the car ghế, chỗ ngồi into the trunk, and we both got into the car.
"Wow, I still have thêm than three hundred left." I counted the bills in my wallet. I had no doubt that the money would come in use later, but for the moment I felt rich.
"We got lucky." Angela noted.
"Definitely."
When we got back to my place, Charlie came out and helped us unload the stroller. He took the box and the car ghế, chỗ ngồi down to the basement, where they would be the least in the way until they were needed.
"Could bạn turn your computer on?" Charlie wondered when he came back upstairs. "I want to hiển thị bạn something I found."
I gave him a wary look, but headed upstairs and turned the practically antique machine on. I hadn't even been aware that Charlie knew how to use a computer; he had always seemed to be one of those anti-technology guys.
"Go out on that internet thing." He đã đưa ý kiến when the computer had finally finished loading, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. When the internet window had opened, he typed the address into the url-window with his index fingers. It took a while.
"I didn't know bạn were such a computer wiz." I teased when he hit enter. We waited as the page loaded.
"Mark showed me this." He explained. "There." He pointed at the screen, and I looked at it.
There was a picture of a plastic changing bàn attached to the wall, the kind bạn found in public restrooms.
"You can hang it on the tường in the bathroom." Charlie needlessly explained. "It won't take up any không gian at all when you're not using it."
"That's great dad." Another problem solved.
"Mark helped me order it at work, so it should be getting here tiếp theo week."
"Thanks, dad." I squeezed his hand in an appreciative gesture.
"No problem." He mumbled, going slightly red from my display of affection. He pulled his hand away and shuffled out of the room. When I heard him turn the ti vi on in the living room, I couldn't help but laugh to myself.
xxxxx
March turned into April, and Charlie started talking about trading my truck in for another car.
"Why?" I whined, not caring that I sounded very much like a petulant child. I loved my truck; it wasn't just a car, it had personality.
"It's not a suitable car, Bella." Charlie tried to explain. "You can't put the car ghế, chỗ ngồi in the truck." I pouted, but didn't argue. Even though I didn't want to give up my truck, I realized that he had a point. That didn't stop me from moping a little, though.
The following afternoon, we went to Port Angeles to try to find a car that was "suitable". Charlie knew a guy who knew a guy that owned a dealership there, and would give us a good deal.
When we got there, the guy took one look at my beloved truck and snickered.
"I don't have a lot that bạn can trade that old thing for, but if bạn can throw in a few thousand, I've got just the car for you."
I didn't like him – he was hurting my truck's feelings.
"One thousand." Charlie replied, and I nudged him in the ribs. I didn't have a thousand dollars, and even if I'd had that kind of money, I wouldn't have spent it on a car. "Don't worry, Bells. I got it." He mumbled.
The guy led us over to a blue sedan with fluffy, white dices hanging from the rear view mirror. I instantly disliked it – not for any sensible reason, just out of principle.
"Accord, 1990. Engine in perfect condition." The guy patted the hood. "You're not going to get a better deal anywhere else, I can tell bạn that."
"What do bạn think, Bells?" Charlie wondered, turning to me.
"It's fine." I shrugged, looking away from the fluffy dices – they would definitely have to go.
I knew it was just a car, but I was going to miss my truck.
"I'll give bạn five hundred." Charlie countered, turning back to the car salesman.
"Seven fifty. That's the best I can do."
"OK." They shook on the deal, and the guy went to get the necessary papers.
I drove the Accord back to Forks, and it was nothing like the truck. The engine wasn't exactly quiet, but it was nowhere near the racket the truck made. And it smelled funny; not bad, really, just… weird, somehow.
"I'll take it to Joe's tomorrow; he'll do a thorough cleaning." Charlie said, wrinkling his nose.
"Thanks."
xxxxx
April brought spring to Forks, and I was glad to finally be able to put my parka back in the basement. I hadn't been able to close it in over a month, and didn't feel like buying a new winter jacket.
An unusually warm night the week after Easter, Angela and I were walking through Tillicum Park. Doctor Jamieson had ordered me to take a walk at least three times a week.
"So, less than four weeks left." Angela noted. "How does it feel?"
"Like I'm about ready to explode." I complained. Doctor Jamieson had đã đưa ý kiến that I was smaller than what was normal at thirty six weeks, and having seen các bức ảnh of other pregnant women, I did believe her. Of course, knowing that didn't help at all – I was still thêm than a little uncomfortable.
"It'll be over soon." Angela đã đưa ý kiến encouragingly.
"Yeah. I sure hope this kid is punctual."
Angela laughed.
Everything was ready at the house; the cũi, giường cũi was fully equipped, the extra dresser I had gotten was full of the essentials, the high chair in place in the kitchen, stroller just inside the door, car ghế, chỗ ngồi in the car. The changing bàn was hanging on the tường in the bathroom, having arrived a few days after Charlie had ordered it.
One good thing about my current waist measurement was that Angela picked me up for school in the mornings; I had only been able to drive the Accord for about a week, before I could no longer reach the pedals if I put the ghế, chỗ ngồi far enough back to actually fit behind the wheel. I still hadn't bonded with me new car, and I was in no rush.
"You about ready to head home?" Angela asked, and I nodded.
"Yeah, this should be enough exercise for one day."
We headed in the direction of her car, and a few phút later, she dropped me off at home.
"See bạn tomorrow." I said, pushing off from the ghế, chỗ ngồi to get out of the car.
"Same time, same place." Angela smiled as she pulled out from the curb, and I waved before going inside.
Charlie was in the living room, watching a bóng rổ game. I had never really understood the beauty of tall guys chasing a rubber ball around a court, trying to get it through a hoop, but I flopped down tiếp theo to him on the couch.
"Good walk?" He asked, eyes never leaving the screen. The game must be exciting.
"I guess." I shrugged.
"Renée called earlier." He continued. "She's booked a flight on the first."
"That's thêm than a week early. She doesn't have to come here so soon." I objected.
"I told her that too, but she only mumbled something about em bé coming early all the time, and that she didn't want to miss anything." He shrugged. "You can always try reasoning with her." The last part was đã đưa ý kiến in a sarcastic tone, and I chose to ignore it.
"But Doctor Jamieson đã đưa ý kiến that it's far thêm likely that I'll go past the due ngày than that anything will happen before it." I pointed out.
"You know Renée." Apparently, he thought that was enough of an explanation.
I sighed. He was right, of course; if she had her mind set on something, there was nothing that could convince her otherwise.
Normally, Renée and I got along great, but I had been getting annoyed bởi her overprotective behavior even over the phone lately, and was worried that we would get on each other's nerves when she was actually in the same house.
"It'll be fine, Bells." Charlie said, as if he knew what I was thinking. "She's just a bit extreme because she's all the way across the country, it'll be better once she's here."
"I hope so." At least it couldn't get any worse… hoặc so I hoped.
xxxxx
As I got closer to the due ngày – and as my belly expanded – I got less and less nervous about the actual birth, and thêm and thêm anxious for the whole thing to just be over. I wanted time to di chuyển faster and, of course, expected it to do the exact opposite, which – in my experience – was usually the case.
So I was surprised when I woke up one morning, and realized that it was May. As I took a vòi hoa sen and got dressed, I briefly wondered what had happened to the rest of April.
"You ready to go soon?" Charlie asked when I waddled into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp for breakfast. There really was no other word for the way I moved these days.
"Yeah, just need some food." I poured some muesli and sữa into a bowl and grabbed two slices of bread, popping them in the toaster. I finished off the muesli as I waited for the lò nướng bánh, máy nướng bánh mỳ to return my bánh mỳ, bánh mì slices, and then I quickly spread some bơ and dâu, dâu tây mứt on them and swallowed them in a few bites.
"Hungry?"
I looked up to find Charlie watching me with an amused look on his face. I only glared at him in response.
"Let's go."
Renée was even thêm overwhelming than she had been at Christmas. She started crying when she spotted us, and I wondered if she had gotten a dose of my hormones.
"I'm so glad to be here." She mumbled as she wrapped her arms loosely around me.
"Mom, I'm not made of glass." I said, squeezing her thêm tightly.
"I know, sweetie, I know." But her hug was still a little too careful.
I spent the ride back to Forks in silence, not having to participate in the conversation Charlie and Renée were having in the front seat. She was interrogating him, making sure everything was in order for the impending arrival. He assured her that it was, but her doubtful tone made me think she wasn't convinced.
She did approve of everything when we got to the house though. She admired the cũi, giường cũi that Charlie had fixed up, thought the changing bàn was very practical, and was impressed bởi the good deal I had gotten on the stroller and car seat.
Charlie left Renée and me alone that night, going out to La Push to spend some time with Billy. I suspected that he had gotten an overdose of estrogen and needed to do some manly things; watch some sports hoặc do some fishing, perhaps. Renée and I curled up on the đi văng – well, she did, I just tried my best to find a somewhat comfortable position – with ice cream and Thelma and Louise. Brad Pitt was a nice bonus.
"So." Renée stated after a while. "Are bạn ready for this?"
"I'm thêm than ready not to be this uncomfortable all the time." I replied. "As for the part that comes after that… I don't know. I guess we'll have to see.
"I think you're going to be an amazing mom."
I hadn't quite come to terms with the word "mom" being used about myself, but the way Renée đã đưa ý kiến it sounded nice.
"I hope so." I sighed. "I mean, I've read everything. I know what to do in theory, but in practice…"
"You'll do fine." She cut me off.
"Thanks, mom. It's nice to hear." I shifted a little on the đi văng so I could lean my head against her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me as well as she could.
"My little girl." I heard her mumble quietly. "All growed up."
xxxxx
I didn't suspect anything when Renée dragged me out of the house for a walk after lunch the following day. I didn't have any reason to. Of course, looking back, I should have known that the way she winked at Charlie and his almost imperceptible nod in return meant that the two of them were up to no good. Maybe I was just not as observant as usual.
Either way, I was completely caught off guard when we reentered the house an giờ later and were met bởi "SURPRISE!" shouted bởi several people in the living room.
"What is this?" I asked, trying to make sense of the scene in front of me. Angela came up and gave me a hug.
"A baby shower, silly." She pulled me over to the couch, sitting down tiếp theo to me. Renée claimed the ghế, chỗ ngồi on my other side.
I felt tears rise in my eyes, and impatiently wiped them away. I should have known that Angela would pull something like this, but I honestly hadn't seen it coming. Again with the inattentiveness.
The room seemed crowded, even though there weren't that many people there. Mrs. Newton was sitting in one of the armchairs, Angela's mom in the other. Ben was tiếp theo to Angela on the couch, and Mike was perched tiếp theo to him on the arm rest. Charlie hovered bởi the wall, looking thêm uncomfortable than I had ever seen him before.
"I know showers are normally girls only, but I thought…" Angela trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence, but I knew what she meant. The girls at school didn't even speak to me if they could avoid it.
"It's perfect, Ang." I assured her. "Thank bạn so much."
"OK, presents!" She excitedly exclaimed.
I spent the tiếp theo half giờ opening gifts, getting even thêm clothes and toys, a diaper genie from Mike and his mom, and various other things.
After all the presents were opened, Renée went into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and came back with a cake. We all ate and talked until people started to leave a few hours later. Angela knew me well; she hadn't planned any "normal" baby vòi hoa sen games, and I was grateful.
Angela and her mom were the last to leave. I gave them both big hugs at the door.
"Thank bạn so much." I đã đưa ý kiến again, and again, I had trouble keeping the tears at bay.
"You're welcome." Angela hugged me back tightly.
"Did bạn have a good time?" Renée asked anxiously as I came back into the living room.
"The best." I assured her. I saw her visibly relax, and realized she must have been worried that I wouldn't appreciate the surprise party. I couldn't blame her; normally, I hated attention of every kind, but the vòi hoa sen had been really nice.
"You have some pretty amazing friends." She remarked.
"I know."
Regarding Kayla.....
Guys, I regret to inform bạn that my internet had committed technical suicide. I have stolen someone's laptop to write this and I hate to tell bạn that until someone revives my internet no further Kayla chapters can be posted.
This is an unforseen event and I will kick as many asses as I can to get the internet working agan.
I will continue to write the chapters and try to steal as many laptops and PCs as possible to post them.
I hate that I leave my story with bạn at such a critical point. Unfortunately this post is just a spur of the moment thing and I don't have my memory stick with me hoặc I'd shove a chapter on at the end of this message.
Very sorry my peeps. bạn can verbally abuse me, my internet hoặc BT broadband hoặc all three!
Emmii-Luu
Guys, I regret to inform bạn that my internet had committed technical suicide. I have stolen someone's laptop to write this and I hate to tell bạn that until someone revives my internet no further Kayla chapters can be posted.
This is an unforseen event and I will kick as many asses as I can to get the internet working agan.
I will continue to write the chapters and try to steal as many laptops and PCs as possible to post them.
I hate that I leave my story with bạn at such a critical point. Unfortunately this post is just a spur of the moment thing and I don't have my memory stick with me hoặc I'd shove a chapter on at the end of this message.
Very sorry my peeps. bạn can verbally abuse me, my internet hoặc BT broadband hoặc all three!
Emmii-Luu
bạn know Robert's song, Never Think, is on the Twilight soundtrack, right? Well my dad overheard me listening to the song and đã đưa ý kiến he has NO TALENT.
I don't geddit. He says the bands I listen to have no talent. I say Robert has tons of talent, but some people just don't SEE it. I think he's great for the role of Edward, and his voice is awesome, but I guess it's the way he sang for the recording.
Anyways, I want to let all of bạn know is that my dad will never change his tastes. I hate that. He'll keep bothering me because I'd ended my Jonas Brothers' Stage. He'll bother me because my sister listens to Hannah Montana/ Miley Cyrus. Why does he bother me further when I stay in the Twilight Stage?!!! I saw how big this fanspot is, and whoa, if my dad saw this, he'd lay off.
*Giggle*
I tình yêu Twilight, and hopefully, that'll NEVER change. Oops, baby brother on the prowl.
See ya!
I don't geddit. He says the bands I listen to have no talent. I say Robert has tons of talent, but some people just don't SEE it. I think he's great for the role of Edward, and his voice is awesome, but I guess it's the way he sang for the recording.
Anyways, I want to let all of bạn know is that my dad will never change his tastes. I hate that. He'll keep bothering me because I'd ended my Jonas Brothers' Stage. He'll bother me because my sister listens to Hannah Montana/ Miley Cyrus. Why does he bother me further when I stay in the Twilight Stage?!!! I saw how big this fanspot is, and whoa, if my dad saw this, he'd lay off.
*Giggle*
I tình yêu Twilight, and hopefully, that'll NEVER change. Oops, baby brother on the prowl.
See ya!
