Okay, I'll admit that I haven't laughed this hard at a film since I saw The Hangover last summer. Seriously, what was the plot here? I actually found the first film to be much better than this travesty. bạn can find my review of the first movie link. I'll go through it like I do with all movies. Pros and cons, then an overall.
Pros
The Volturi
Finally! Some ACTUAL vampires!! The Volturi I found were pretty awesome because, bạn know, they actually were cruel, soulless, mean, and did some actual VAMPIRING. The part towards the end where a tour group of humans is led directly to them and bạn hear their screams was pretty awesome. Come on people, that's what ma cà rồng do. They drink the blood of huuumans. Sheesh. Also, they were pretty cruel too, what with the whole cái tát, đánh đập, smack down of Edward and nearly killing Bella (so bummed that didn't happen). Getting a small glimpse of the actor who will be playing Grindelwald in Deathly Hallows was a nice bonus too. So for all bạn Twilight fans, the Volturi are GOOD examples of vampires. Much like the soulless ma cà rồng on Buffy.
The chó sói, sói Clan
Now why I didn't particularly enjoy the crappy computer phim hoạt hình of the Người sói (more on that later) I did enjoy the characters of the chó sói, sói clan. The one scene that I really liked is where we see Sam's fiance, with half her face clawed up. My friend and I definitely agree that even with the claw marks she was amazingly beautiful. I would see a movie about her and Sam in a heartbeat. It would be much much better than this terrible film. Pity they were stuck in it.
Jacob
Lautner got hot. No denying that. Other than the hotness factor though, he was probably the only real character with any dimensions and depth besides Bella's father. The way their relationship built to where Jacob fell for Bella, and she pretty much for him, was very realistic and healthy. So bạn can imagine my dissappointment when she chose Edward, who abandoned, controlled, and basically led to much of her depression, over Jacob. bạn Team Jacob fans, I now consider bạn semi-sane because bạn recognized a HEALTHY relationship. các điểm thưởng to bạn guys.
Cons
Bella...you there?
I hate the character of Bella, I truly do. She doesn't think for herself, is defined solely bởi her relationships, and for some reason Stewart could NEVER SHUT HER MOUTH. Even when she wasn't talking!! What was up with that?! Gaah. The fact too that she dissed her Những người bạn at school and put her dad through so much crap with the screaming at night (seriously, wtf, she doesn't have PTSD) made me just loathe her character even thêm with a passion. Furthermore, her whole obsession over age was just ridiculous. Ohhh nooo you're a whole năm older than your 107 năm old vampire boyfriend!! Now he's not going to tình yêu bạn anymore!!! Yea, stupid. Those những người hâm mộ out there that idolize her, please find a healthier role model such as Eowyn, Hermione, heck even Lily on How I Met Your Mother. Bella is a very unhealthy and psychologically unstable character and is an insult to females everywhere. She didn't even drive her own car most of the time! Disgusting.
How is she special too btw?
If someone can explain how Bella is unaffected bởi any of the vampire's powers, it'd be much appreciated. That just seems like something that's just thrown out there. My theory? It's because Bella has no thoughts!
Edward...dude wtf?!
Sooo this guy that supposedly is totally in tình yêu with bạn throws bạn into a glass bàn for protection, lies to you, breaks up with you, and abandons bạn in the forest. A car ride trang chủ would have been nice plskthnx. Also, the throwing into the glass bàn for her protection? That was totally safe. bạn know, because she was bleeding even thêm profusely after the bàn than she was after the papercut. Also, who has ever bled that much after a papercut anyways, if at all? Furthermore, the fact that he kept "appearing" everytime Bella had an adrenaline rush was just weird. I think if my ex-boyfriend started hiển thị up everytime I had a rush, I'd go and get a CT of my brain to make sure I didn't have a brain tumor a la Izzie seeing Denny b/c of her tumor. Also, the fact that Bella takes him right back after all the crap he put her through was just great. Really shows girls that hey, after a guy lies to bạn like that bạn can totally trust him again with no really good explanation other than "I tình yêu you". Nice.
OMG a Plot Point!!!
Annd what was the plot?? Everytime a possible plot point appeared it seemed to get derailed, such as the shots of Victoria, Laurent, hoặc whenever anyone đã đưa ý kiến Bella was diễn xuất crazy. If anyone spoke reason hoặc a plot point appeared, it did not hiển thị again.
Lupin's chó sói, sói Looked Better...
The film must have had the world's worst computer phim hoạt hình department because those Người sói were a travesty. How about those transf...I mean FURSPLOSIONS eh? Really bad phim hoạt hình coupled with a laughable transformation sequence (FURSPLODE!) led to even thêm laughs. Too bad there weren't enough fursplosions.
That's What She Said!
There were way too many lines in the film where one could easily say that. For example- Bella: I'm coming! Me: That's what she said! Edward: I don't want bạn to come! Me: That's what HE said!! If bạn don't get the meaning behind that, then please go watch The Office where it is regularly utilized. Furthermore, the scene where Edward kisses Bella in front of her truck after the party was too funny. Edward acted like...well like link SNL skit. Please be forewarned that that link is meant for those 16 and older. That scene probably got one of the biggest laughs out of me.
Blocked
Finally, all the kiss-blocking that poor Jacob suffered through. Face cú đấm high school guy who threw up at an action movie (he's so gay then), Bella denies, and Edward calls just as he macks on the upper lip! Seriously, Jacob should have just pulled an Owen (Grey's Anatomy character), grabbed Bella, and just rocked her world. Doubt she woulda left if he did that.
Overall
Overall, this movie was a travesty to the film community. It was plotless, very poorly acted, and featured a very unhealthy set of characters that girls and women alike should not look up to as role models. Bella should have been thrown in a psych center for the stuff she was experiencing. I'm not going to apologize either if I've offended anyone. This is my honest opinion, and I know I wasn't as kind as I was in my first review. Now you've heard an opinion of an anti-Twilighter. bạn Team Jacobers, bạn got some respect from me now. Please save your brain cells and your money and do not see this movie. Unless bạn want a really good laugh then bởi all means do. Oh and one thêm thing to note. The ending with the whole Marry me? Ending on the *gasp* garnered a huge laugh from our audience. And just for my own satisfaction, FURSPLODE TIME!!
When she first looked into her daughters dark Sô cô la eyes she felt tình yêu and happiness. The soft broze curls in her hair shot a feeling of hope in her body;that she was alive.She felt tình yêu for this little one.
A kind of tình yêu she had never felt before:of tình yêu and protection. The kind of tình yêu a mother feels.A tình yêu so passionate it hurt for her to feel.
The Angel looking back at her was the most beutiful she had ever seen. No one had ever imagined such beuty.
Then the little cherub clutched her mothers finger and the two felt tình yêu and happiness forever.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
A kind of tình yêu she had never felt before:of tình yêu and protection. The kind of tình yêu a mother feels.A tình yêu so passionate it hurt for her to feel.
The Angel looking back at her was the most beutiful she had ever seen. No one had ever imagined such beuty.
Then the little cherub clutched her mothers finger and the two felt tình yêu and happiness forever.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
![this is samantha the new chó sói, sói for chapter 4 this is samantha the new chó sói, sói for chapter 4](http://images2.fanpop.com/images/soapbox/twilight-series_16836_top.jpg?cache=1243179779)
this is samantha the new wolf for chapter 4
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming bạn have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the vượt qua, cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming bạn have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the vượt qua, cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
Isabella "Bella" Marie thiên nga (later Isabella Marie Cullen) is a clumsy, accident-prone teenage girl who moves from Phoenix, Arizona, to Forks, Washington, to live with her father, Charlie. Though many boys are attracted to her when she arrives, she falls in tình yêu with Edward Cullen, a mysterious boy she discovers to be a vampire. In an attempt to protect Bella from his lifestyle, Edward leaves her. Bella falls into a depression and is comforted bởi her friend, Jacob Black. She comes to tình yêu Jacob as well, though not as deeply as she loves Edward. She eventually marries Edward and, after a complicated pregnancy, gives birth to their daughter, Renesmee, and becomes a vampire at age 18. After Bella's transformation, she has the ability to shield her and others' minds from mental attacks.