Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if bạn know us then bạn know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope bạn guys like it.

Emmett's pov.

"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 phút and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he đã đưa ý kiến chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. hoặc at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I đã đưa ý kiến a bit sharply.

"No.I was getting bored.", he said.

"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I đã đưa ý kiến in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he đã đưa ý kiến a little impatient. " Jeese.", I đã đưa ý kiến again. He sighed. "Alright. So if bạn can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard bạn can fart.", I đã đưa ý kiến triumphently. "And how did bạn come across this?", he đã đưa ý kiến chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he đã đưa ý kiến fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I đã đưa ý kiến sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two thêm just to be on the an toàn, két an toàn side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out hoặc bạn won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( ngẫu nhiên letters =fart sounds, the thêm letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I đã đưa ý kiến clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he đã đưa ý kiến laughing again."Let's go practice.", he đã đưa ý kiến eager to learn.


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"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to hiển thị bạn something.", we đã đưa ý kiến in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", đã đưa ý kiến rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen bạn know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't bạn the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I đã đưa ý kiến irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for ma cà rồng to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID bạn EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. bởi now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least bạn can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", đã đưa ý kiến Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", đã đưa ý kiến Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", đã đưa ý kiến Alice thêm alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", đã đưa ý kiến Jake. "Then why are bạn coming closer?", đã đưa ý kiến Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I đã đưa ý kiến still watching." bạn can't but I can.", đã đưa ý kiến Edward chuckling. bởi now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are bạn willing to bet he is going to get his sorry đít, mông, ass knocked around?", đã đưa ý kiến Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the tiếp theo minute?", I said. "Your on.", đã đưa ý kiến Edward."Edward aren't bạn going to go help him?", Bella đã đưa ý kiến worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", đã đưa ý kiến Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But bạn Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I đã đưa ý kiến knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." bạn know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", đã đưa ý kiến Bella. "hey Bella can bạn go make some bắp rang bơ, bỏng ngô this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I đã đưa ý kiến and sat down to enjoy the hiển thị just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."