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posted by Brown_x_Eyes
Edward: Happy Birthday, Bella.

Bella: Screw my birthday, I don’t wanna grow up!

Edward: You’re like Peter Pan, except you’re a girl!

Bella: About that…

Edward: What?

Bella: Nothing.

Edward: Let’s go to my place.

Bella: Giving in? The perfect present…

Edward: Hell no! bạn think I’m weak?! WELL I’LL hiển thị bạn WEAK! –Bends down to Bella’s neck-

Bella: Edward, wait for Victoria to kill me. She has thêm practice.

Edward: Let’s go inside!

Alice: Surprise! Big huge party to be celebrated bởi only 8 people! WOO!

Bella: I totally didn’t see this coming…

Esme: I baked bạn this wonderful cake! Since bạn are the only edible thing for the seven of us, you’ll just have to eat this yourself! And then we get to watch bạn grow as fat as Jessica! Isn’t that super? –Twitches-

Bella: …

Alice: Er… present time!

Bella: Thanks for the box of nothing, I deserve it. –Sobs-

Alice: God, you’ve never been so bipolar. IT’S A STEREO! CAN’T bạn TAKE A JOKE?! –Foams from mouth-

Bella: That was awkward.

Jasper: Cut the pain away!

Edward: What the hell Jasper?

Jasper: It helps me, even though no blade could even mark my skin. Rosalie’s fingernails sure are strong…

Cullens: …

Jasper: But seriously, Bella, cut the pain away. If bạn do it while I’m around, I’ll have the perfect excuse to jump you.

Bella: Being the non-selfish person I am, I’ll try that. Give me the tiếp theo present.

Esme: trang chủ DEPOT!

Bella: Okay then… -gets paper cut-

Jasper: Can I eat bạn now?

Bella: Edward?

Edward: Nah. Not yet. Give me that piece of glass over there, please?

Bella: -Hands Edward glass-

Edward: Thanks. –Draws line with glass from elbow to hand on Bella-

Bella: What the hell, Edward!

Edward: Just taking Jasper’s advice…

Jasper: No one understands me! -Sobs in corner-

-The tiếp theo day-

Edward: Go into the forest while I forge your signature.

Bella: …

Edward: Do it before I rape you!

Bella: bạn already used that one on me in the last parody.

Edward: Fine. Uh… before I bring Jasper over to get all emo on you?

Bella: A little better. Work harder on your threats, though.

Edward: Go before I bring Oprah into this!

Bella: Aw, that was weak. I’m going, though.

-In the forest-

Edward: Bella, I’m leaving you.

Bella: No! Who will save me from my abusive father?

Edward: Paris Hilton. They don’t just teach bạn how to get off crack in rehab.

Bella: She doesn’t look like a Paris to me. I think her name should be Samantha.

Edward: Back to the point…

Bella: Which was?

Edward: I’m leaving.

Bella: Why?

Edward: You’ll find out later in the book.

Bella: …

Edward: Bye!

Bella: NOOOO!! -Has mental and emotional breakdown-

-4 months later-

Bella: Oooh, motorcycles. It’s like the hot wheels version of a bike. I’ll just go take them since they look thêm like computer chairs with headlights right now. –drives to Jacob’s-

Bella: Fix these bikes and I’ll pretend to like you.

Jacob: I’m hopeless, have no future, and am to stupid to recognize my family history, let’s go!

-In garage-

Jacob: bạn can sit in this piece of crap I call a car.

Bella: I feel special.

-At motorcycle riding place-

Bella: I hear Edward’s voice in my head.

Jacob: That doesn’t make bạn crazy at all!

Bella: He talks to me when I do dangerous things.

Jacob: Nope, no therapy needed…

Bella: I’m just… gonna go now…

Jacob: -Just stands there, talking to no one- nope, of course not! Hearing voices in your head? Definitely not insane! Completely normal!

No one: My parents really hate me to give me this name.

Jacob: At least your name isn’t ‘anybody.’ (A/N bạn would have to read my story ‘aim with the Cullens’ to really get this)

No one: I still think no one is worse.

Jacob: Screw you; we’re supposed to be talking about MY problems here!

No one: I thought we were talking about Bella’s.

Jacob: -Throws No one over a cliff- Back to my rambling…

-The tiếp theo day-

Bella: xin chào Jacob, a guy asked me out on a sort-of group ngày and I don’t want to be alone even though there will be like 10 other people there. Wanna go with me?

Jacob: I have no social life of my own. Sure, why not?

-Movies at Port Angeles-

Mike: I feel sick.

Jacob: Shut up! Can’t bạn see I’m not watching the movie?!

Mike: -Runs to bathroom-

Jacob: Hahaha. GAY!

Bella: God, Jacob, you’re such a hypocrite about you’re orientation.

Jacob: True dat. Watching Mike pour his insides into the toilet through his mouth actually kind of turns me on.

Bella: …

Jacob: Let’s go home.

-At Bella’s house-

Jacob: I feel odd.

Bella: bạn look odd.

Jacob: That was a really gay comeback.

Bella: Shut up, asshole!

Jacob: I’m going trang chủ before I explode into an oversized dog. Bye!

-The tiếp theo day-

Bella: -Calls Jacob-

Billy: xin chào Bella.

Bella: Where the hell is Jacob?

Billy: God, Bella. Don’t go all bipolar on me. He uh… can’t talk right now.

Bella: Why does everyone keep telling me I’m bipolar?! And why can’t he?

Billy: Because he just turned into a mythical creature and will probably kill bạn if he see’s you.

Bella: …

Billy: I mean… just kidding?

Bella: Is Jacob a vampire?

Billy: …No! –Hangs up-

-One tháng later-

Bella: Jacob, I’m just going to stalk bạn until bạn talk to me!

Jacob: We’re not Những người bạn anymore, so fuck off!

-Later that night-

Jacob: Open the damn window!

Bella: Stalker…

Jacob: There’s a reason we can’t be friends.

Bella: Which is?

Jacob: -Dramatic pause- I’m a werewolf!

Bella: Oh no!

Mike: Oh no!

Charlie: Oh no!

-Koolaid man bursts through wall-

Koolaid man: OH YEAH!

Everyone: …

Koolaid man: -Backs out of wall- (A/n I was watching Family Guy last night and I couldn’t resist putting that up there)

Bella: Could you, like, NOT eat people?

Jacob: What the hell Bella?! Do bạn think I’m a cannibal?!

Bella: Yes.

Jacob: …

Bella: I regret nothing.

-Valentines Day-

Jacob: I got bạn a box of kẹo hearts because I pity that bạn don’t have anyone to care for you.

Bella: These hearts taste like the chalk bạn use to draw on the sidewalk.

Jacob: I’m a REALLY good at sculpting things.

Bella: So I’m eating…

Jacob: Yes, Bella. bạn are eating tim, trái tim shaped chalk.

Bella: I want more!

-The tiếp theo day-

Bella: I’m gonna go cliff diving to hear Edward’s voice!

Guy in passing car: Don’t jump! It’s not worth it! (A/N that actually happened to me once, me and my Những người bạn were on this bridge and my friend was looking over the edge and a guy passed bởi in a car and đã đưa ý kiến “don’t jump!” anyways, back to the story)

Bella: -Shrugs- This’ll probably kill me, here goes nothing! -Jumps-

Edward’s voice: Swim like you’re immortal!

Bella: -Passes out-

-At Jacob’s house-

Jacob: Harry Clearwater died.

Bella: Finally…

-At Bella’s house-

Jacob: Vampire!

Bella: Woo!

Jacob: Oh, HELL no! I’ve picked up your pieces and you’re just going to go right back to them?

Bella: Yeah…

Jacob: Just makin’ sure. See ya Bells!

Bella: -walks inside-

Alice: Bella?

Bella: Alice!

Alice: Bella!

Mike: Mike!

Bella: How are bạn still lonely?! Go find Jessica hoặc something! Can’t bạn see we were having a moment?

Mike: Jessica still looks like a pregnant Chris Crocker.

Alice: …

Mike: -Sulks- Fine. hoặc maybe I’ll just go hang out with Anybody… (A/N Again, read AIM story to understand)

Alice: Why are bạn still alive?

Bella: Why are you?! bạn were supposed to die like 80 years ago!

Alice: Ouch… that was cold, Bella.

Bella: I regret nothing!

Alice: Well, anyways, Edward’s about to die and we have to go save him.

Bella: Cool, where are we going?

Alice: Italy.

Bella: Sweet, road trip!

-In Italy-

Alice: Run, fat boy, run!

Bella: -trips, hyperventilates, sweats-

Edward: I’m in hell! It owns.

Bella: Not yet. bạn will be soon, though, I’m sure of it.

Edward: Nice to see bạn too.

Felix: Die, die, die!

Bella: um… ahh??

Felix: Be afraid, be VERY afraid…

Edward: kẹo Mountain, here we come!

-In vampire city… thing…-

Aro: xin chào girl!

Bella: Edward, bạn never told me Aro was gay.

Edward: There are a lot of things I didn’t tell you.

Aro: So, Edward, Who’s the lucky lady? -Winks-

Edward: I don’t feel comfortable about this…

Bella: I’m Bella.

Aro: Nice to meet you, Bella. I have to say, I’m jealous. No one could ever live up to someone as godly as him.

Bella: Finally, someone I can relate to!

Edward: Okay, ew. Are bạn gonna kill us hoặc not?

Aro: That depends.

Edward: On?

Aro: On.

Edward: On…

Aro: On!

Edward: Dammit, Aro! Are bạn going to slaughter us hoặc what?!

Aro: That depends…

Edward: Go on with it.

Aro: On if you’ll bite her.

Edward: Hell no! An eternity with… her?! -Shudders-

Aro: If bạn don’t I’ll kill you’re family.

Edward: One ngày I’ll do it… eventually…

Aro: Fabulous. Oh, And Edward? Come back any time bạn want. –winks and giggles-

Edward: Um… no. –Picks up Bella like a football and runs-

-At Bella’s house-

Bella: Don’t leave me again! I still tình yêu you!

Edward: And bạn still smell good!

Bella: I never want bạn to leave again!

Edward: Never say never, Bella!

Bella: What are you, Barney? And bạn just đã đưa ý kiến it twice…

Edward: Well piss off! I didn’t want you, anyway!

Bella: You’ll stay though, right?

Edward: I guess. I mean, I have no where else to live.

Bella: Score!

Edward: Don’t push it.

Bella: So are bạn really gonna change me?

Edward: Probably not.

Bella: Screw you. I’ll ask the others.

-At Cullen House-

Bella: Want me to become a vampire?

Rosalie: I’d kill myself before that happened.

Bella: It’s not even possible for bạn to kill yourself...

Rosalie: Shut up, bitch!

Bella: What are everyone else’s opinions on this?

Emmett: Dah… four? -Drools-

Esme: trang chủ DEPOT!

Bella: Anymore fanfiction stereotypical answers?

Alice: SHOOPPING!

Jasper: Emo! EEEEMOOOO!! Cut the pain away! -runs to corner and cries while cutting wrists-

Bella: What about Carlisle?

Carlisle: I don’t really have a stereotype.

Bella: Oh.

Carlisle: So are we changing you?

Edward: No! We didn’t even get any real answers!

Bella: I know. But we are going to do what I want. I mean, I am the guest.

Edward: Screw it all, I’m going to Canada.

Bella: No! We have school tomorrow!

Edward: Oh yeah… Let’s go back to Charlie.

-At Charlie’s house-

Jacob: xin chào Bella, I’m baaaaack… người đi đòi nợ, dun người đi đòi nợ, dun DUN!

Bella: Oh no!

Edward: Oh no!

Charlie: Oh no!

Koolaid man: Oh yeah!

Edward: Oh my god, NO! bạn can only do that on Tuesdays!

Koolaid man: No one told ME that…

No one: I đã đưa ý kiến no such thing!

Jacob: I thought I killed you!

Edward: -slaps forehead- just… get out of here…

Koolaid man: -walks away shamefully with no one-

Jacob: Ahem… Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I’M BACK! MUAHAHAHA!

Bella: Why?

Jacob: What?

Bella: Why? Why are bạn back?

Jacob: Oh… um. I told Charlie about the motorcycles.

Bella: That sucks.

Jacob: It should.

Charlie: BELLA! GET IN HERE BEFORE I TAKE AWAY MR. FEELINGS!

Jacob: Mr. Feelings? What the hell?

Bella: He’s the only one that listens to me. He’s my best friend.

Jacob: Um.

Edward: Yeah. Um.

Bella: I have a lot of free time.

Edward: I’ve noticed.

Bella: Well, I’m gonna go now. See bạn guys later.

Jacob: No! That’s not supposed to happen! I’m supposed to go off, then Edward is supposed to comfort you.

Bella: Oh. Okay.

Jacob: I think this is my cue to leave. –Runs-

Bella: Oh, no! What did I do?!

Edward: I don’t know. What DID bạn do?

Bella: No! You’re supposed to hug me and tell me everything is going to be alright!

Edward: Oh. It’ll be alright… -Hugs Bella awkwardly-

Bella: I feel all better now! Let’s go play Hide and Seek in the Meadow.
added by neeki
Source: http://twilightextremists.com/?page_id=24...
added by Ann_89
Source: Ann
posted by Angrykittykj
A/N: This chapter gives các câu trả lời to some of the các câu hỏi so far but there isn’t a lot of action, sorry.

Chapter Four: Questions

I sat in the living room an giờ later, Nessie holding my hand on one side and Esme holding my hand on the other. Emmett and Jasper had taken Edward hunting again, Alice had made the decision that keeping Edward and I apart for the moment was probably the best course of action.

“Mom, this isn’t your fault,” Renesmee đã đưa ý kiến and smoothed my hair back. I turned to her and I’m sure the agony I felt was present in my eyes.

“Did bạn see him when he left? Did you...
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posted by LexisFaith
"Do I know bạn from somewhere?" She asked and I froze, tensing up. Now how the hell was I supposed to answer that? Only half of it.

"Um, well, bạn might recognize my voice?" I answered.

"You're voice?" her brow furrowed on her forehead.

"I'm kind of part of a pretty big band." I smiled at her.

"Oh yeah? What's it called?"

I grinned at her. "Sweet Affairs."

Her mouth dropped. "No." She gasped.

"Yeah." I nodded and set her omlet down infront of her.

"What do bạn do?"

"Sing."

She stopped mid bite. "You're joking right?"

"No." I laughed and sat down infront of her.

"Could bạn play me something?" She asked...
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posted by Dragonclaws
 Internet joke critcizing Bella's adoration of Edward's stalking
Internet joke critcizing Bella's adoration of Edward's stalking
Okay, I’m a big Twilight fan. I’ve got all the books. I’ve got all the movies. I’ve been to Forks and La Push for Twilight tourism. I have two Twilight T-shirts, one with the Cullen family crest and one with a werewolf presumably supposed to be Jacob. I’m planning to redo my room in a Gô tích vampire theme based on a Twilight room in a motel in Forks. On the other hand, I’ve gotten into the subject of feminism and feminist analysis, and I’ve been đọc all these anti-Twilight các bài viết at link talking about how abusive Edward and Jacob are, and I’ve had a bit of a conflict between...
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xin chào guiz...dis is Seth's POV..
Hope U lyk it!!

Chapter 4-Part 2

I ran..I had to get to the Cullens'.
I looked down at her and I saw her staring at me...I couldn't meet her gaze..dunno why..I was running so fast that I hadn't noticed her arms around me. She was clinging to me. Like Nessie usually clung to Bella hoặc Jake. Maybe she felt protected with me.Maybe she loved me as much a I loved her..Hope..I could only hope.. I ran until I reached the baseball clearing..
This place..the place where many have Mất tích their immortal lives..Redhead's newborns..Innocent people who had been changed just for use..for...
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I woke up the tiếp theo morning full of energy,ready to do something.I hurried to get dressed throwing on a pair of denim short shorts, a tank hàng đầu, đầu trang and a pair of flip flops. I skipped into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and looked in the cabinets.
"We have no food."I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned and saw Edward in only a towel wrapped around his waist and water leaking down his body. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out, he just chuckled lightly.
"I'm going to the store in an giờ hoặc so..If bạn wanna come with me and pick up somethings..that'll be ok."He đã đưa ý kiến to me.I nodded my head in...
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posted by groovychicklisa
Edward picked me up at eight the following morning, since we had a bit of a walk ahead of us.

"Got comfy shoes on?" He asked as I got into the car.

"My yêu thích sneakers." I replied.

"Good." He pulled out of the driveway and headed north on the one-oh-one, CCR's Have bạn ever seen the rain on the stereo. After a while, we turned onto the one-ten, and drove until it turned into a small, dirt road. He stopped, and I could see a hiking trail disappear into the woods ahead of us.

We got out of the car, and he pulled two backpacks from the trunk, handing one of them to me.

"This one's only got a couple...
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posted by Tatti
So, I decided to continue nghề viết văn about Alice but this time I added Jasper's point of view. Hope bạn liked, if bạn have any thoughts about it leave a comment.

September of 1945

Jasper

So the war has been over... Too bad for me and others of my kind. It'll be harder to explain people deaths. I stopped for moment and watched clouds passing me by. What am I going to do in my life? The north would be heaven to me if I don't feel that strangling pain radiating from my victims. I can feel their fear, anger and desperation wherever I am going, it follows me to every city, every state, every country or...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



TWILIGHT - epilogue - AN OCCASION


His hands hesitated at my waist, and he glanced at my bum leg. "Do bạn want to dance again? hoặc can I help bạn get somewhere?"
Edward answered for me. "That's all right, Jacob. I'll take it from here."
Jacob flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edward, who stood just beside us.
"Hey, I didn't see bạn there," he mumbled. "I guess I'll see bạn around, Bella." He stepped back, waving half-heartedly.
I smiled. "Yeah, I'll see bạn later."
"Sorry," he đã đưa ý kiến again before he turned for the door.
Edward's arms wound around me as the tiếp theo song started....
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posted by _madz_
xin chào guys, sorry this took so long but i had a mega homework load, plus like four tests in one week...year 12 sucks. i also had to work the entire weekend, so i didn't have much nghề viết văn time. (i work at paper squared, largest scrapbooking cửa hàng in Australia, check it out....yeah, i'm shameless lol)hope bạn like anyway :P


His thoughts abruptly changed direction, moving onto thoughts of Alice that I would rather not see.
The teacher chose that moment to enter the room, quieting everyone.
I tried to tune out Jasper and went back to watching Bella through the minds of others.

Bella’s POV:
Would this...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



TWILIGHT - chapter 10 - INTERROGATIONS


It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a dream. Logic wasn't on my side, hoặc common sense. I clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined - like his smell. I was sure I could never have dreamed that up on my own.
It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect. He had no reason not to be in school today. I dressed in my heavy clothes, remembering I didn't have a jacket. Further proof that my memory was real.
When I got downstairs. Charlie was gone again - I was running later...
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this must be my quew charlie thought comming up and tapped me on the back i nodded onse and went to stand and watch with everyone els.
airnt bạn going ro ask your own mother to dance? esme thought i quickly held my hand out as an invertation. she took it and we started toward the dance floor we walsted around my mind a amillion miles away "whats the matter?" esme asked looking conserned
"mike newton" i muttered it was one thing him flirting with her but a nother dreaming about her that way.
esme chuckled "edward dear bella chose bạn and do bạn think he is going to take her away from you?"
"no...
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so, i suppose the tiêu đề is self explanitory...
anyway, this story is currently đã đăng on the Eternal Night spot, so if bạn would like to keep reading, thats where it is :)
enjoy.



Fire and Ice
~~
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Robert Frost.

I glanced up at the clock, even though I knew exactly how long had passed. I should know; I’d been counting the seconds.
I was sitting in my car around...
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 Zafrina
Zafrina
Renessemee was now turning six.We all at her party.She was running around hugging everyone she could.Rosalie excited for baby Renessemee.Everyone still called her a baby.She's just as adoreable as one.Kinda hard not to.Esme inside getting the presents together.Bella standing with me.Watching our baby girl.Renessemee was only six but looked ten.But not like most ten năm olds.She was thêm intellegent,More slender,she read thi ca at night instead of bedtime stories.She also in joyed the book wheithering hieghts.Just like Bella when she was human.Esme came out with two boxes in her hands.Carsisle...
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posted by myau
A.k.a. 10 ways to get yourself killed.

10: Sign him up for anger management.
…no one can deny he doesn’t need it

9: “Accidentally” sign him up for an Edward người hâm mộ club. Force him to go to every single meeting.

8: Force him to play a game with bạn that bạn invented. Change the rules every 5 giây so he loses.

7: hiển thị him those tình yêu letters “Victoria” sent Edward.

6: Tell him Victoria likes men who wear tutus. Buy him one; get all offended when he doesn’t wear it. Start crying and don’t stop until he puts it on. Video tape him in it and send it to the Cullens’, the Volturi, the Quileutes,...
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posted by WritenOnTheSand
Fear is such an overrated word. Insecurity now thats a good one. At this moment I feel that one emotion that everyone hates when bạn want to hide under a rock.

I lean back agains the tường hitting my head against it. A loud thud echoes through the house. I can see that my grandparents have heard. There slow foot steps thud against the hard wood floor.

"Laylia? Is that you?" Grandpas voice sound from the corner around the stair case. I quickly gather my self up and swiftly run to my room.

The hours went bởi slowly as I layed in giường that night. The morning has finaly come and i now have to prepare...
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posted by rose_emmett
Okay I couldnt wait any longer to write this! Its gonna be fun!




Renesmee's POV:

I grabbed my surf board from the shack and we headed back down to the beach.

"Okay so bạn have no clue how to surf?" I asked.

"Yup, no clue." he đã đưa ý kiến with a smile.

"Okay. Um...do bạn at least no how to stand on a surf board?" i asked.

"Do bạn really think that if I have no clue how to surf I know how to stand on the board?" he đã đưa ý kiến sarcastically.

"Okay dumb question." I đã đưa ý kiến as I started walking to the water.

"Im going to first teach bạn how to stand on it." I đã đưa ý kiến as I layed the board down on the sand where the waves rolled...
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posted by jaime-kataeff
I really just wanted to put this out there, How many of bạn would like to read about the honeymoon from Edwards perspective? I have alot of stories running around in my head but I think they would not be for anyone under the age of 16, due to the sensitive content. Also I was wondering if bạn would like to see it from Bella's point of view. I don't want to offend anyone so please give me some feedback. I chose 16 as that is the legal age in most countries, let me know. Sorry if I have offended anyone with these các câu hỏi there was no offence intended. I was just curious.
posted by Bella_Swan3
-Renesmee-

"Yes, Jacob, I'm fine," I say into the small black cellphone, putting extra stress on the word fine.

I've forced him out of the house for the day. It was almost as difficult as trying to pull my parents apart from one another. And that's saying something. Certainly thêm difficult than trying to seperate Rosalie from her cosmetics box. Which she clearly doesn't need.

Anyway, I was trying to politely tell Jacob that if he didn't hang up already, I was coming over there and obliterating his phone.

Emmett had taken to calling MY baby "jelly bean", just because of what she'd looked like...
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