Chapter 15,

March 17, 2008,

Damien and I have been dating for a while now and I turned 14 a few days ago. I'm still managing to keep our relationship a secret from my dad and I don't see anything ruining that in the near future. Damien turns 17 at the end of this year.

I was getting ready to leave the house and go to the giày trượt băng, skate Park. After I snuck out, I went to our usual meeting place that the guys and I had picked out. When I got there, Damien walked up to me and gave me a kiss. Our immature Những người bạn started saying "gross; bạn two are always kissing each other!" I asked "would bạn rather us make out in front of you?" Brandon rolled his eyes and Damien đã đưa ý kiến "that's what I thought! bạn guys just wait until bạn have girlfriends! AJ and I are going to make so much fun of you!” I kissed him again just to get on their nerves and the two of us chuckled.

The two of us started walking down the đường phố, street and Damien took out his wallet. He đã đưa ý kiến "wait till bạn see what I got yesterday!" I asked "what?" He passed me a card and đã đưa ý kiến "my driver’s license! Now I don't have to drive around with my mom in the car anymore!" I đã đưa ý kiến "that's cool! The only thing that sucks is that bạn don't have a car of your own yet." He đã đưa ý kiến "I might get a job soon so; it won't be long before I do have one." I laughed and đã đưa ý kiến "it's hard to picture bạn driving! I wish bạn could take me somewhere!" He đã đưa ý kiến "my mom doesn't like me driving her car hoặc else I would." I đã đưa ý kiến "I have an idea!" He rolled his eyes and đã đưa ý kiến "oh boy; I can't wait to hear this!" I đã đưa ý kiến "my dad parks his car nowhere near our house and he always leaves the keys in it because no one goes over there." Damien raised his eyebrows and asked "so what you're telling me is that we should just take your dad's car without him knowing?" I laughed and đã đưa ý kiến "that's exactly what I'm saying!"

Damien is a troublemaker too so; he didn't put too much thought into my plan and we casually made our way to where the car is. We walked up to the black Rolls-Royce and Damien's mouth dropped as he asked "this is your dad's car?" I constantly have to remind myself that he doesn't know who my dad is and I đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; there it is." He đã đưa ý kiến "wow; your dad's a good businessman!" I đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; now bạn see why he has to hide the car all the way over here in the middle of nowhere." I opened the car door and took the keys out. I pass them to Damien and he đã đưa ý kiến "oh man; I can't believe I get to drive this awesome car!"

He started the car up and I đã đưa ý kiến "whatever bạn do; don't crash because then I'll have to come clean to my dad about sneaking out and dating you!" He đã đưa ý kiến "I passed my driver’s test on the first try so; there's nothing to worry about!" He drove down to the local movie rental place and the two of us got out of the car. I asked "what are we doing here?" He đã đưa ý kiến "I saw the TV that is built into the back ghế, chỗ ngồi and figured we could watch a few movies! I'll use my movie card because I always pick up phim chiếu rạp on my way trang chủ from school and I can rent as many phim chiếu rạp as I want to for only $15 a month." I asked as we walked inside "what movie did bạn want to get?" He đã đưa ý kiến "let's get Spiderman three because I haven't seen that yet." We went and checked out our movie and then got back into the car.

Damien and I climbed into the back ghế, chỗ ngồi and started the movie. Soon after the movie started, it reached a boring part and we started making out. After a few minutes, Damien đã đưa ý kiến "you know; bạn are 14 now." I đã đưa ý kiến "so" and he đã đưa ý kiến "maybe it's time we take that tiếp theo step!" Millions of thoughts came into my head and I asked "you're talking about sex; right?" He smiled and đã đưa ý kiến "yes!" I đã đưa ý kiến "okay" and he took off my shirt.

bởi the time he had gotten to my jeans, he was already in his boxers. Just as we were about to start, I was remembering the talk that dad and I had on the bờ biển, bãi biển that ngày back in 2006. I looked at Damien and asked "wait; do bạn have a condom on you?" He đã đưa ý kiến "we'll be fine without one!" I asked hesitating a little bit "what makes bạn think that?" He đã đưa ý kiến "all three of the guys have already Mất tích their virginity and they didn't use condoms! I'll just pull out before it gets too intense. Trust me; there's nothing to worry about! I know it will work!" I đã đưa ý kiến "well; as long as bạn promise that you’ll pull out then we can have sex!" He got excited and đã đưa ý kiến "I will; I promise!"

Afterwards, Damien and I brought the car back to where it belongs. He walked with me until we were about three blocks away from my house. I didn't want him to see where I lived because then he would know that Michael Jackson is my dad. He leaned in to Kiss me and I đã đưa ý kiến "I didn't know losing your virginity was supposed to hurt this bad!" He đã đưa ý kiến "it didn't hurt me!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I knew my first time was supposed to hurt because I'm a girl but; this is way worse than I thought it would be!" He đã đưa ý kiến "it should be better bởi tomorrow but; I have to get going before my mom starts to worry."

March 18, 2008,

I came downstairs and was still in excruciating pain from losing my virginity last night and walked into the living room. Dad walked up behind me and đã đưa ý kiến "good morning AJ!" He kissed my forehead and đã đưa ý kiến "I tình yêu you!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I tình yêu bạn too." As I sat down on the couch, Blanket came over and sat on my lap and I đã đưa ý kiến "ouch!" Before I realized that I đã đưa ý kiến that out loud, dad asked "what's wrong?" I đã đưa ý kiến "oh nothing; I just slept on my back all night long without rolling over and I'm a little sore." He đã đưa ý kiến "just go upstairs and sleep for a while; it should feel better after that!"

I have to admit that sleeping sounded pretty good because of the amount of pain I was in. I went upstairs and ended up sleeping for seven hours straight. When I woke up, I was feeling a lot better and wasn't worried anymore about dad finding out!

April 10, 2008,

I'm pacing around my bedroom because I bought a pregnancy test. I'm really worried at this point because I've had all the early signs of being pregnant. I closed my eyes and then open them as I looked down at the pregnancy test. I picked it up and took a closer look as I saw a màu hồng, hồng plus sign on it. I immediately started crying as I held my head in my hands and sat down on the bed. I picked up my cell phone and texted "Damien; I need to tell bạn something!" He responded 20 phút later bởi saying "what's going on?" My fingers stroked the keyboard on my cell phone as I tried to figure out what to say

I finally just took a picture of the pregnancy test and sent it to Damien. He responded "what is that?" I asked "what does it look like?" He đã đưa ý kiến "alright AJ; this joke really isn't funny anymore!" I đã đưa ý kiến "IT'S NOT A JOKE DAMIEN!" I waited for a response for over an giờ but there wasn't one.

I knew that I would eventually have to tell my dad EVERYTHING so; I just wanted to get it over with. I opened my bedroom door and asked "dad; can bạn come in my room for a minute?" He smiled and đã đưa ý kiến "of course!" I shut the door and he đã đưa ý kiến "it's been a long time since I've spent time with bạn alone." I took a deep breath as I sat back down on my giường and đã đưa ý kiến "I want to talk to you." He đã đưa ý kiến "okay" and I đã đưa ý kiến "I think bạn should sit down!" He pulled my computer chair across from me and đã đưa ý kiến "alright; I'm sitting!" I đã đưa ý kiến "before I really start talking I need bạn to promise me that bạn won't interrupt?" He đã đưa ý kiến "okay; I promise!"

As I got up the courage to start the conversation, I stared at his smile and perfect teeth. I took a deep breath and đã đưa ý kiến "I haven't been as well behaved as bạn think I have since we got to Vegas. There are three things that I need to tell you. The first thing is that I've been sneaking out of the house since we moved here!" He raised his eyebrows and I đã đưa ý kiến "the một giây thing is that I have boyfriend!" His eyes widened as big as saucers and mouth slightly opened.

Before I could get to the third thing, dad asked under his breath "you've been sneaking out of the house? bạn have boyfriend?" I shook my head in agreement and he đã đưa ý kiến "you're not 16 years old yet! What are bạn doing sneaking out of the house and dating some guy?" I đã đưa ý kiến "no one knows what my face looks like in public because I wear my mask when I'm out with bạn so; no one notices me when I'm not wearing it!" He đã đưa ý kiến "you've been going out of the house without your mask on!" I shook my head again and he asked with clear irritation in his voice "who is this boy you're dating???" I đã đưa ý kiến "his name is Damien and I met him at an alley a few blocks away from here. We hang out at the giày trượt băng, skate Park together all the time and I've made a few other Những người bạn also!" Dad asked "how old is he?" I took a deep breath and whispered so quietly that he couldn't hear me. He asked "what?" I đã đưa ý kiến "he'll be 17 at the end of this year." Dad's mouth dropped wide open and đã đưa ý kiến "17; he's going to be 17 bởi the time you're almost 15!!!" He started to get really angry with the fact that I had a boyfriend and that he is two years older than I am!

Dad slammed his fist down on my nightstand and đã đưa ý kiến "I'm not angry with bạn but; this guy must be really stupid if he thinks dating a 14-year-old is okay!" He looked up at me and asked "what was the third thing that bạn wanted to tell me?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I don't think I can tell bạn so; I'll hiển thị you."

My hand shook as I passed dad the positive pregnancy test and he looked down at it. He literally didn't say anything for 15 phút as he stared down at it. I saw tears pour down his face as he shook his head in disbelief. He asked "you're pregnant?" I started to cry because of how emotional he was and đã đưa ý kiến "yes!" He đã đưa ý kiến "well; there goes your childhood forever! I tried so hard to make sure that bạn had the chance to be a kid! You're only 14 years old and you're going to be a mother!!!" He wiped tears away and đã đưa ý kiến "you knew I didn't want bạn having sex and bạn went and did it anyway! Where did bạn two have sex?" I hesitated and he asked "WHERE DID bạn TWO HAVE SEX?" I đã đưa ý kiến with a shaky voice "in the Rolls-Royce." He đã đưa ý kiến as he put his hands on the hàng đầu, đầu trang of his head "in my car? bạn HAD SEX IN MY CAR!!!"


Dad started gagging and đã đưa ý kiến "even though I don't want bạn having sex; I thought I explained to bạn the importance of using a condom! If you're going to have sex even though I told bạn not to; I would want bạn to use a condom! Why didn't this Damien kid put one on?" I đã đưa ý kiến while wiping away tears "he didn't have one and he told me that he would pull out before things got too intense!" Dad looked at me in disgust as he pictured what I was describing and đã đưa ý kiến "Alanna; don't listen to a guy when they say that! It doesn't work; trust me!!!" I đã đưa ý kiến while sobbing "yeah; I can see that now!"

My dad saw that reality was hitting me and hitting me hard! He sat down tiếp theo to me on the giường in silence as he stared at the pregnancy test once more. He hugged me and squeezed me as tight as he possibly could! He đã đưa ý kiến trying to console me "I know; it's going to be hard but; we’ll get through it! I smiled up at him and he đã đưa ý kiến "there's always a positive side! bạn have a human being growing inside bạn and that's one of God's greatest gifts! You're going to have to grow up fast but; I'll be here to help bạn every step the way!" I asked calming myself down "are bạn mad at me dad?" He đã đưa ý kiến the words no child wants to hear "no; but I am disappointed in you!" We got up and he went over to my closet. He took out my baseball bat and đã đưa ý kiến "I don't want to hear bạn complain; you're hiển thị me where Damien’s house is!"

Dad and I pulled up in front of Damien's mother's house. We both got out of the car and he opened up the trunk. He took the baseball bat out and I asked "what do bạn need that for?" He didn't answer me and I đã đưa ý kiến "don't hurt him daddy!" Dad looked at me as we walked up the front steps and đã đưa ý kiến "I'm not making any promises!"

I knocked on the door and Damien’s mom answered it. She didn't notice dad at first and đã đưa ý kiến "hi AJ!" Her eyes slowly moved over to dad and she asked while stuttering "are bạn Michael Jackson?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "yes I am; is Damien here?" She đã đưa ý kiến "come on in; he's in the living room." We walked inside and Damien was sitting on the couch. Damien looked up in shock at the fact that Michael Jackson was standing in his living room!

Before Damien could say anything, dad grabbed him bởi his T-shirt and pinned him up against the wall! Kate asked "WHAT DO bạn THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY SON?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "WHY DON'T bạn ASK YOUR SON?" Damien looked at me confused and I đã đưa ý kiến "well; bạn finally met my dad!" Damien asked "MICHAEL JACKSON IS YOUR DAD???" I đã đưa ý kiến "yup" and Kate asked "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'M SO CONFUSED!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "apparently; Damien got Alanna pregnant!" She looked at Damien and đã đưa ý kiến "WHAT!" Damien đã đưa ý kiến with a nervous laugh "congratulations grandma!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến as he raised his fist to cú đấm him "I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY AT ALL bạn LITTLE ASSHOLE!!!"

I lowered dad's fist away from Damien's face and đã đưa ý kiến "can't we just talk about this without all the screaming!" Dad took a deep breath and released his grip on Damien’s áo sơ mi and đã đưa ý kiến "you're right." Kate gestured for dad and I to sit down on the đi văng tiếp theo to them. She went and got some snacks for us to eat while dad tried to intimidate Damien with the stare he was giving him. When Kate came back into the room, I đã đưa ý kiến "all right; if we're going to have this conversation we need to do it without the yelling because that's not going to get us anywhere."

Damien looked at my dad and waited for him to say something. Dad looked at Kate with the same expression of disbelief on his face. Kate just shook her head over and over because she couldn't believe that I was actually pregnant. Dad interrupted the silence bởi asking "what would make bạn think that it's okay for bạn to ngày a 14-year-old?" Damien đã đưa ý kiến "I don't think two years is that much of an age difference between AJ and I." Dad đã đưa ý kiến "okay well; I disagree with that. How come bạn didn't use protection?" Damien stuttered "I – I didn't think we needed too. I thought if I pulled out nothing would happen." Kate rolled her eyes and đã đưa ý kiến "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth Damien and you’ve đã đưa ý kiến a lot of stupid things before." Dad đã đưa ý kiến "that obviously didn't work! Damien let out a deep sigh and đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; I know!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "you seem like bạn don't care Damien! I don't think bạn understand the gravity of the situation! There is a baby growing inside of Alanna right now and you're the whole reason the baby is there in the first place!" Dad nodded in agreement and đã đưa ý kiến "you took the words right out of my mouth." Kate đã đưa ý kiến "this is so much to take in at once! First I find out that AJ's father is Michael Jackson! Then I find out bạn and AJ had sex! Then to hàng đầu, đầu trang it all off, you're going to be a father at 16 years old!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "tell me about it! I think everyone should just take a few days before we really talk about this because this is a lot to take in."

As dad and I got back into his car, we both looked at each other in silence before he turned the key in the ignition. I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm really sorry Dad. I didn't want any of this happened so soon!" He đã đưa ý kiến "I know bạn didn't… It's just really disappointing and it hurts!" I just looked down at my feet because I knew there's nothing I could have đã đưa ý kiến to make the situation any better. I remember looking at dad and just thinking to myself "I wonder what he's thinking about? I really hurt him this time; I can tell bởi the look on his face!!!”

April 12, 2008,

Dad and I haven't really talked about me being pregnant since we left Damien's house a few days cách đây because he doesn't want my siblings to find out just yet. I was up in my room lying in my bed, when dad came in and shut the door behind him. He asked "can I talk to bạn for a minute?" I looked up at the ceiling and đã đưa ý kiến "yeah sure." He sat down on my giường and smirked down at me.

He đã đưa ý kiến as he held my hand "I've been thinking… I was wondering what do bạn want to do with the baby?" I đã đưa ý kiến "well; I'm of course going to keep it!" He asked with a worried tone in his voice "are bạn sure about that? It's a lot of work taking care of a baby and it's not just for a few years; you're making a lifelong commitment! Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, going to doctors’ appointments… IT'S A LOT OF WORK!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'll make it through it!" He đã đưa ý kiến "I'd like to offer bạn something and it's up to bạn whether hoặc not bạn like the idea. I won't be upset if bạn don't go along with it.” I looked up at him and asked "what?" He sighed and đã đưa ý kiến "I thought I was done with having thêm children at this point in my life. I'm willing to adopt your baby and raise it as my own that way; bạn can have your childhood back and be able to see the baby every day!” I đã đưa ý kiến "it's nice of bạn to offer to do something for me like that but; I want to be a mom. I think it would be kind of awkward to hear the baby call me sister and for me to know that he hoặc she is really my child!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "that's okay; I understand where you're coming from. It was just a thought that I had last night. If you're going to raise this baby though; bạn have to get your act together! bạn can't put yourself first anymore because bạn have a child that depends on you! bạn can't constantly be getting yourself into trouble! I just want to make it very clear that if bạn really want to do this then you're going to be the one taking care of the baby, not me! I'm not saying that I won't help bạn out every now and then but; it's your responsibility." I shook my head in agreement and he hugged me.

April 16, 2008,

Dad and I were cleaning up the phòng bếp, nhà bếp when we heard frantic knocking on the front door. He opened up the door and Kate ran inside. Dad looked around to see if my siblings were upstairs then, he asked "what's wrong?" She đã đưa ý kiến as she sat down at the bàn "I don't know where Damien is! I think the reality of being a dad was getting to him and he ran away! He won't answer my phone calls but; he's been on his MySpace page!" Dad asked "when was the last time bạn saw him?" She đã đưa ý kiến "the ngày bạn came over! He seemed fine after bạn left! When I woke up the tiếp theo morning, all the money in my wallet was gone and my credit cards too!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "well; he must be planning be gone for a while if he took your credit cards!" She đã đưa ý kiến "I'm not going to hủy bỏ them because he might need them to buy food!" Dad asked "did bạn check the gần đây charges made on your account? We might be able to find out where he is!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "I already checked! Wherever he is; he doesn't want us to find him because he's being really smart about what he buys with my credit cards. What I really want him to do is rent a hotel room because then we can find him!" I interrupted "trust me; he wouldn't be that stupid! I'm a troublemaker too so I understand his brain!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "the police đã đưa ý kiến that there's nothing they can do because Damien's 16 and if he doesn't want to come trang chủ they wouldn't be able to make him!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "keep an eye on your credit cards Kate because the only choice we have right now is to hope that he'll slip up hoặc just decide to come home! For the time being, at least we know he has money on him."

1 million thoughts went through my mind as I stood there at the phòng bếp, nhà bếp counter while the two of them had their conversation. That idiot; I can't believe he would leave me like this and without even saying anything. He's the one who got me pregnant and he can't just bail on me like that. When he gets back I'm going to give him up to my mind! He can't take it back now because I'm already pregnant!

April 22, 2008,

Dad is having a man named Dr. Murray come over to the house today so I can have my first ultrasound. I would've wanted Damien here for this but; there's still no sign of him! He did finally call his mom though but only to say that he's not coming home! I don't like how this whole situation is starting to play out and I hope Damien comes to his senses because I don't want to do this on my own!

Dad and Dr. Murray shook hands and I lay down on the couch. Dr. Murray asked with a thick Jamaican accent "are bạn excited to be a mother?" I đã đưa ý kiến "it hasn't really sunk in yet!" While he prepped me for the ultrasound, he and dad made small talk. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I heard that bạn specialize in cardiology." Dr. Murray đã đưa ý kiến "primarily yes; this is just something I do on the side." He scanned my stomach and đã đưa ý kiến "well; there's definitely only one baby in there; that's for sure! Dad took a sigh of relief and đã đưa ý kiến "thank God it's only one!" I asked "how long will it be until I can find out if it's a boy hoặc a girl?" He đã đưa ý kiến "10 thêm weeks until bạn can find out." Dad asked "don't bạn want it to be a surprise?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I have to know as soon as possible! I can't wait nine months; did bạn forget who bạn are talking to?" Dad and I both started laughing and he đã đưa ý kiến "oh yeah!"

Dr. Murray wrote on a notepad and đã đưa ý kiến "I've done the math and it looks like your due ngày should be November 18th of this year." As I got up off of the couch, I asked "will bạn come back in 10 weeks so I can find out the gender of the baby?" He smiled and đã đưa ý kiến "of course I will; let me give bạn a prescription for your prenatal vitamins before I leave."

May 5, 2008,

I was in my room surfing the Internet and stared at Damien's MySpace page. I was hoping that he would magically start a conversation with me but; that didn't happen. Dad came into my room and sat down tiếp theo to me. He đã đưa ý kiến "I need to talk to bạn about something and I don't know how you're going to react.” I raised my eyebrows and asked "what?" He đã đưa ý kiến "I'm going on tour again!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I don't know why bạn think I would react badly to that; that's so awesome!" He sighed and đã đưa ý kiến "that's not the part I'm worried about."

He hesitated over and over before I đã đưa ý kiến "just tell me already!" He đã đưa ý kiến "we're moving back to LA for now and eventually to Luân Đôn where the concerts will be." I đã đưa ý kiến "back to LA? Then to London? We can't move! What if Damien comes back?" Dad looked at me sympathetically and đã đưa ý kiến "sweetheart; I think you're in denial about Damien! I don't think he's coming back." I looked at him as I shook my head and đã đưa ý kiến "he's going to come back!" Dad grabbed my hand and đã đưa ý kiến "I don't think he is AJ." I pulled away and đã đưa ý kiến raising my voice "YOU'RE WRONG; YOU'LL SEE!"

Dad looked at the desperation in my eyes as I refuse to believe what he was telling me. I sat down on the giường and he sat down tiếp theo to me. I đã đưa ý kiến "HE DIDN'T DITCH ME; HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Dad hugged me and in that moment I realized that he was right. I continued to repeat "he didn't abandon me; DAMIEN'S COMING BACK" as I started to sob uncontrollably. Dad could hardly understand me as I repeated that phrase over and over again.

Dad passed me a tissue and I đã đưa ý kiến crying to an uncontrollable point "I can't do this alone!" Dad smiled down at me as he wiped my tears with his sleeve and đã đưa ý kiến "who đã đưa ý kiến bạn would be alone? You've got me; don't you?" I smiled and đã đưa ý kiến "I guess." He đã đưa ý kiến "guessing has nothing to do with it! I'm here for bạn now and I'm never leaving! I'll never abandon bạn like Damien did! He's an immature jerk and needs to grow up! I think it's best that he stays wherever he is right now because if he comes back I'll kick his ass!!!"

I started laughing and dad asked "what's so funny?" I đã đưa ý kiến "sorry; I can't help it! It's so weird hearing bạn swear; I'm not used to it!" He smiled as if he didn't even notice that he swore and đã đưa ý kiến "I'm angry with Damien! Not for leaving but; for hurting you!" I couldn't care less about him being around because I don't think he'd be a good influence on bạn hoặc the baby but seeing bạn so desperately want him here hurts me thêm than bạn could imagine! Hurt me; I don't care! Hurt my baby and you'll regret it! I actually think that staying away is the only smart thing I've seen him do since I met him!" The two of us laughed and I đã đưa ý kiến "I think you're right about that one" as he put his arm around me.

May 9, 2008,

After dad found a place for us to live in California, we moved into it yesterday. Dad reluctantly decided to invite the rest of the Jackson family over for dinner, of course not including my grandfather.

As I was tossing the empty cardboard boxes out of my new bedroom, dad came in and sat down on my bare mattress. He đã đưa ý kiến "I think what we should do is tell Grace and your siblings that you're pregnant now. Then we'll tell everyone else at bữa tối, bữa ăn tối tonight." I sighed and đã đưa ý kiến "okay; I want to get this over with!"

The two of us walked downstairs and went to gather them. All of us sat down on the đi văng and dad đã đưa ý kiến "AJ needs to tell bạn guys something." I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm going to be having a baby." Prince and Paris smiled while Blanket looked at me with a confused look on his face. He asked" where did the baby from?" Dad and I both looked at each other while we searched for the right answer. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "a special hug." I had to force myself not to laugh at dad's explanation and Blanket asked "who did AJ hug? Dad lightly thumped the back of my head to get me to stop laughing and đã đưa ý kiến "a friend of hers." Paris đã đưa ý kiến "that means I'm going to be an aunt and bạn guys are going to be uncles!" Blanket hugged me and asked "when is the baby going to come out of your tummy?" I đã đưa ý kiến "not until November" as Grace pulled dad and I into the other room.

She shut the door behind her and asked "are bạn really pregnant?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I wouldn't joke about something like this! Yes I really am pregnant!" She asked "Michael how long have bạn known?" He đã đưa ý kiến "since the beginning of April." She asked "who's the father?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "his name is Damien but; I don't think you'll be seeing too much of him! He skipped town and hasn't contacted any of us since." Grace looked shocked as she tried to comprehend the idea of me being a mother. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "trust me; AJ understands that it's not going to be easy! She wants to raise the baby on her own and bạn and I will be here to help her if she needs us." She asked "how do bạn think the rest of the family is going to react?" He đã đưa ý kiến "all I can say right now is that I'm glad Joseph isn't coming because he would blame everything on me!"

After bữa tối, bữa ăn tối had been served, dad, my uncles, aunts, my grandmother, and I all sat down in the living room. Uncle Jackie asked "how come bạn invited us over for bữa tối, bữa ăn tối Michael?" Dad looked at me and asked "do bạn want me to tell everyone?" I đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; they will take bạn better if it's coming from you!" Uncle Randy asked "what's going on?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "well; Alanna's pregnant. Before bạn ask, the baby's father is nowhere to be found and we don't expect to hear from him anytime soon!" I looked at my grandmother and asked "are bạn okay grandma?" She đã đưa ý kiến "I didn't expect bạn to be a grandfather so soon Michael." Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I know; I'm surprised bởi it too!" Aunt Janet asked "when the baby due?" I đã đưa ý kiến "November 18 of this year."

I was surprised when they each congratulated me and đã đưa ý kiến they would be there for support. After they left, dad đã đưa ý kiến "that went better than I expected!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm just glad it didn't turn into a screaming match!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I thought for sure that one of them would accuse me of not being involved enough with bạn to stop bạn from getting pregnant!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I don't think bạn would've been able to stop me either way. bạn know how I am; I do whatever I want to do in the moment!"

June 4, 2008,

Dad was in the middle of his first ngày of rehearsals for his "this is it" tour when I called him. He answered his phone and asked frantically like any concerned father would "what's wrong? Are bạn okay?" As he responded to me he đã đưa ý kiến "don't feel bad! I'll be right there!" He hung up his cell phone and Kenny Ortega the director of the tour asked "is everything all right Michael?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; AJ has been having morning sickness and accidentally threw up all over her bathroom floor. Grace isn't trang chủ because she took the other children out shopping so; I'll be back in an giờ after I finish cleaning up the bathroom." Kenny đã đưa ý kiến "okay; it's time for a break anyway." Dad yanked his car keys off a nearby bàn and walked out the door as he adjusted the Fedora hat on his head.

About 15 phút later, I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as he called out "I'm coming AJ." He opened up my bedroom door and I was sitting on my bed. He walked up to my bathroom and looked down at the ground. He looked back up at me as I was about to say something but; I just started crying. He looked at me sympathetically and asked as he sat down on the giường "what's wrong?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was so close but –" he đã đưa ý kiến "Alanna; it's okay! It's thêm normal than bạn think it is." I đã đưa ý kiến "I know that you're not mad at me." He raised his eyebrows and asked "then why are bạn crying?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I honestly don't know! I've literally been crying like this on and off since they all went shopping! I was watching TV when a commercial break started and I burst out crying because I didn't want to watch commercials! How stupid is that? I can't believe I was crying over freaking commercials!"

Dad chuckled as he grabbed a roll of paper towels from the cabinet under my bathroom sink. He đã đưa ý kiến "it must be the mood swings!" I asked confused "mood swings; really?" He đã đưa ý kiến as he cleaned up the floor "yes; that's part of being pregnant! You're supposed to have mood swings!" I asked "how many thêm times am I going to cry like this?" He đã đưa ý kiến as he shut off the bathroom light "the entire pregnancy; every now and then probably!" I đã đưa ý kiến with tears flowing from my eyes "I'm going to be like this until November! I don't cry dad! This isn't who I am! I think I've only cried five times since I was 10!" He couldn't help but laugh at how overdramatic I was being and I đã đưa ý kiến as I cried into a tissue "it's not funny dad!"

He sat down tiếp theo to me on my giường and đã đưa ý kiến still trying to hide his laughter "I'm sorry; I've never seen bạn like this and from my point of view it is really funny!" I lay down on my giường and propped myself up with pillows. I looked at the TV and screamed as I sobbed uncontrollably "not thêm commercials! Why do they always have to have commercials at the best part of the show?" He chuckled into his arm and asked "why don't bạn just watch a movie that way there isn't any commercials?" I đã đưa ý kiến in between sobs "because this is a good hiển thị and that skinny little dog is going to get adopted and, and –!" Dad got up and đã đưa ý kiến "I think that's my cue to leave now!" He laughed as he got up from my giường and đã đưa ý kiến "have fun crying your eyes out!" I playfully threw a throw cái gối, gối at his head as he shut my bedroom door.

June 23, 2008,

It was the middle of the night when I walked down to dad's bedroom. He was fast asleep but; I barely tapped him and he jumped up. He frantically asked "did your water break?" I rolled my eyes and đã đưa ý kiến "daddy I've only been pregnant for 2 1/2 months! It's nowhere near time for that yet!" He rubbed his eyes and asked "what's the matter?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm hungry!" He đã đưa ý kiến "then go downstairs and get something to eat." I đã đưa ý kiến "I don't want anything down there!" He yawned and asked "then what do bạn want?" I đã đưa ý kiến "KFC" and he looked at his alarm clock. He đã đưa ý kiến "it's two in the morning and bạn want me to get bạn Kentucky fried chicken." I pouted "please; that's what the baby wants!" He smiled and đã đưa ý kiến "I can't say no to you." I đã đưa ý kiến "thank bạn daddy!" He đã đưa ý kiến as he hugged me "yeah, yeah, yeah!"

25 phút later, he walked into my room carrying a big bag of thực phẩm and sat down on my bed." As he took container after container out of the bag, I asked "why did bạn get so much?" He đã đưa ý kiến "well; there's no way I'm going to be able to fall right back asleep now so, I might as well eat with you!" I đã đưa ý kiến as I began to fill my plate with thực phẩm "sorry for waking bạn up in the middle of the night to go get me KFC dad." He đã đưa ý kiến "that's alright; I know bạn can't help it! If Damien was here that's what he'd be doing anyway and I told bạn that bạn weren't going to do this whole pregnancy thing alone! If that means I have to make late-night runs to get bạn whenever you're craving then so be it!" I hugged him as I stuffed my face and he laughed. This was the first of many craving trips I would send him on during these nine months!

July 11, 2008,

I came downstairs and đã đưa ý kiến "come on Dr. Murray hurry up and get here already! I want to know now!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến down tiếp theo to me on the đi văng and asked as he laughed at my apparent excitement "will bạn chill out? You're going to make yourself go into early labor!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I can't; I need to know now if I'm having a boy hoặc a girl!"

I heard the front door open and pretty much dragged Dr. Murray into the living room. Dad đã đưa ý kiến as Dr. Murray sat down to start prepping "I have something I’d like to ask bạn Dr. Murray." He responded "yes?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "well; I've started rehearsing for my 'this is it’ tour and I'd like to hire bạn as my permanent physician from this point on to the end of the tour. My buổi hòa nhạc promoters have agreed to pay bạn six figures a year!" Dr. Murray was taken aback at the amount and đã đưa ý kiến "of course; anything for bạn Michael!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "great; you'll start tiếp theo week and accompany me to each of my rehearsals at the Staples Center."

I cleared my throat to break their conversation and Dr. Murray đã đưa ý kiến "oh yeah; I forgot why I came here in the first place!" He started scanning my stomach and đã đưa ý kiến "alright; let's see what we've got here. As he moved the computer chuột across the screen dad đã đưa ý kiến with a smile on his face "oh; I think I can tell what it is already!" I đã đưa ý kiến "be quiet you; don't ruin this moment!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I wasn't going to!" I đã đưa ý kiến "shhhh" as Dr. Murray zoomed in. Dr. Murray đã đưa ý kiến "okay; it looks like it's a baby…… Boy!"

I jumped up and pointed my finger at dad. I đã đưa ý kiến "I knew it was a boy! I told bạn so!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I was for sure it would be a girl!" Dr. Murray đã đưa ý kiến as he packed up his stuff "now bạn can start decorating and picking out names!" I đã đưa ý kiến "it didn't really matter to me whether it was a boy hoặc girl! I was dying to know just so I could start picking out names!" Dad rolled his eyes and đã đưa ý kiến "oh boy; this is going to be fun!" He walked Conrad Murray to the door and đã đưa ý kiến "meet us at the Staples Center at 9 o'clock on Tuesday! Welcome to team Jackson!" Dr. Murray thanked dad as he shut the door behind him.

July 6, 2008,

My stomach has really started to hiển thị but; it's pretty easy to hide it under the baggy clothes I like to wear. Still no sign of Damien and he's really starting to make me mad I wish he would at least respond to my phone calls. He talks to his mom all the time but; won't tell her where he is.

There was a knock at the front door and I got off the đi văng to answer it. I was surprised to see Kate Damien's mother standing there. I hugged her and called for my dad to come downstairs. He walked up to her and gave her a hug before he asked "what brings bạn here?" She đã đưa ý kiến "just because Damien doesn't want to be a dad doesn't mean I can't be a grandma! I found a cheap flight here from Las Vegas and was wondering if I could stay with bạn guys for about a week?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "of course bạn can! We have lots to fill bạn in on!"

Dad brought snacks to the coffee bàn in the living room and the three of us sat down to talk." Kate looked at my stomach and đã đưa ý kiến "awww you're getting a baby bump!" I đã đưa ý kiến "yeah I know; it's weird for me!" Dad and Kate both đã đưa ý kiến "it's weird for us too!" I đã đưa ý kiến as I looked at her "dad and I found out whether it's a boy hoặc a girl; did bạn want to know?" She đã đưa ý kiến "well; obviously!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "you're going to have a grandson." I smiled as her face lit up and I asked "what do bạn want the baby to call you? Dad already decided he wants to be called Poppa." She đã đưa ý kiến "I like just the traditional grandma." Dad đã đưa ý kiến "being called grandpa would make me feel old! That's why I picked Poppa!" She chuckled and đã đưa ý kiến "you look like thêm of a Poppa than bạn would as grandpa!" I adjusted myself on the đi văng and đã đưa ý kiến "the baby's kicking." Kate placed her hand on my stomach and a tear rolled down her face. I hugged her and asked "what's wrong?" She composed herself and đã đưa ý kiến "I want bạn to know that I don't agree with the way Damien's diễn xuất right now. I tried to convince him that he needs to come trang chủ and help bạn but; he just hangs up on me! I hope you'll allow me to be an active part of the baby's life!" I đã đưa ý kiến baffled that she wouldn't think she would be able to be a part of her grandson's life "of course bạn can! bạn don't ever have to worry about that! I'll never stop bạn from seeing him! I can definitely use the help after the baby is born!" She took a sigh of relief and đã đưa ý kiến "I'm sorry that my son is so immature!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "you don't have to feel bad about that because it's not your fault! bạn did your best and single mom and Damien didn't really have his father around as a good role model. Alanna asks me for help if she needs something; even if it's something crazy!" Kate laughed and asked "what crazy things has she had bạn do?" Dad and I laughed and he đã đưa ý kiến "she's had me go to just about every fast thực phẩm restaurant in Los Angeles! Most of the time she wakes me up at 1 AM to go get the food. That isn't the easiest thing to do when you're Michael Jackson!" I laughed and đã đưa ý kiến "Kate; bạn should of seen the look on his face when I asked him to rub my feet yesterday!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "don't get too used to it because once that baby's born I'm done with that!" I laughed and said" I might as well take advantage of bạn while I can! I would be making Damien did the same thing if he were here!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "well; bạn can ask me for help while I'm here so your dad can have a break!" Dad hugged her and đã đưa ý kiến "finally; I won't hiển thị up to tour rehearsals tired, at least for a week." She asked eagerly "when is my grandson due?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "November 18." She đã đưa ý kiến "I'm going to take off a few days before and after the baby is born so I can be here for the birth and to help out." I đã đưa ý kiến "the three of us should go shopping and look at baby names together this week!" She clapped her hands with joy and đã đưa ý kiến "it's been a while since I've been able to buy baby things; we're going to have so much fun this week!"

I'm glad that Kate is going to be supportive even though Damien isn't! That takes a lot of the weight off of dad's shoulders and I know that I will be able to ask her for Lời khuyên about things that dad wouldn't know about! I'm still really mad at Damien though because the baby isn't even born yet and he is already being selfish!

July 9, 2008,

Kate, dad, and I was sitting in the living room while Grace had taken my siblings to the movies. I opened up my laptop and đã đưa ý kiến "we should look at baby names!" Dad opened up your computer and went on to a pregnancy website as well. Kate sat down tiếp theo to me so she could see the names as I scrolled through a danh sách of thousands. She pointed at one and I shook my head in disagreement. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "you could name the baby –" and I interrupted bởi saying "I'm not naming him Prince Michael the third dad!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "please don't; it would be too confusing!" I đã đưa ý kiến "you don't have to worry about me choosing Prince because I narrowed my choices down to two names. I'll choose one of them as his first name and the other one as his middle name. The two of bạn can help me figure out which is which but; don't try to change my mind because I'm dead set on these names!" Kate asked "what names did bạn pick?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I picked out Carter and Shawn." Dad đã đưa ý kiến "really? bạn should pick a strong majestic African name! I like Rafiq!"

Kate and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. I asked "what the heck kind of name is that?" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "that sounds like a character in the lion King!" I đã đưa ý kiến "he's not going to be able to spell that when he gets older! I don't want anything too weird hoặc something with like 20 letters in it!" Dad started laughing and Kate đã đưa ý kiến "I personally like Shawn better as the first name but; it's up to bạn AJ!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I like Carter better!" I đã đưa ý kiến "you guys don't make this any easier on me! Carter Shawn, hoặc Shawn Carter? What one do I like better?" I wrote both options down on a piece of paper and asked "which one looks better to bạn guys. Kate grabbed the piece of paper from me and dad looked at it from over her shoulder. They both đã đưa ý kiến in unison "Carter Shawn! Yeah; definitely Carter Shawn!" I đã đưa ý kiến "good because that looks better to me too!" Dad kissed my stomach and đã đưa ý kiến "hi little Carter Shawn! I can finally stop calling bạn baby hoặc it!"

July 11, 2008,

Today is Kate's last stay here because she has to go back to work in two days. She was sitting in the living room with the family and đã đưa ý kiến "there; I bought my tickets for November so; I can be here a few days before Carter is born and stay here a few days after his birth." I đã đưa ý kiến "since today is your last ngày here; you, dad, and I should go to em bé R us!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến as I put on my feathered mask" I'm so excited!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I'm just letting bạn know beforehand that the paparazzi can be a little annoying and whatever bạn do don't respond to their questions! As far as I'm concerned; they can think that I'm shopping for someone else's baby! Word can't get out yet that AJ's pregnant because it will be complete disaster!" Kate nodded her head and đã đưa ý kiến "don't worry; I won't say anything!"

As we got into dad's Rolls-Royce and he put the key in the ignition, Kate đã đưa ý kiến "this car is amazing!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "thanks; it was definitely well worth the money I paid for it!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "I didn't know that bạn can drive Michael!" He đã đưa ý kiến "yeah I do drive myself places but; it's not very often when I'm able to!" I đã đưa ý kiến "next year; bạn have to teach me how to drive dad because I'll be old enough to get my drivers permit!" He đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; don't remind me!"

When we got to the store, word had gotten out that we had moved back to Los Angeles and the paparazzi had crowded the entrance. We got out of the car and shoved our way through. Once the manager realized who my dad was, he got everyone else to leave the store so none of us would have những người hâm mộ coming up and interrupting us!

As they walked down the aisles, Kate asked "is it this crazy every time bạn guys go out?" I đã đưa ý kiến "every single time! That's why us kids wear masks in public that way; when were not with dad we don't have to wear them and we can live as normal a life as possible." She đã đưa ý kiến "I never looked at it that way; that's a really smart idea!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "there's always a method to my madness that people don't understand! The paparazzi just jump to conclusions and say whatever they want about me. Most of the time, what they say is just downright mean; especially when they say things like wacko Jacko! hoặc they call the children socially deprived because of my life!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "well; I don't believe any of that crap!"

I looked at one of the shelves and đã đưa ý kiến "there's baby wipe warming machines; really?" Kate chuckled as she put it in the xe đẩy, giỏ hàng and đã đưa ý kiến "well yeah; bạn don't want the baby to freeze!" Dad laughed and đã đưa ý kiến "that brings back memories from when bạn were little AJ!" I picked out a furniture set and then we went over to pick out a car seat. I stood there with Kate and dad and we must've looked at 50 different styles. I đã đưa ý kiến "I didn't know that picking out a car ghế, chỗ ngồi would be this hard; each one is adorable!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "there's a red and black one over there inside the matching stroller!" The một giây I saw it I đã đưa ý kiến "this is the one!"

After we gave the store the shipping address for all the big items, we went outside into the ambush of paparazzi waiting for us. They shouted "how's your health Michael? When did bạn di chuyển back to LA? Will your brother's be part of the new tour? Who are bạn shopping for? Who is this woman? Is she your new wife? Is she your girlfriend? Are bạn having another child Michael?"

Dad gently guided me into the back ghế, chỗ ngồi while Kate sat in the passenger seat. We quickly sped off and Kate đã đưa ý kiến "Michael; I can't believe they just assume that I'm either your girlfriend hoặc your wife!" Dad laughed and đã đưa ý kiến "anytime I go out in public with a female they ask that! It could be a 90-year-old woman for God's sake and I'll see the tiêu đề of a magazine say 'wacko Jacko is getting married to the wrinkly woman of his dreams!" We all burst out laughing and I đã đưa ý kiến "we all just learn to laugh at it because we can't really do much about it!" She đã đưa ý kiến "I've had so much fun with bạn guys! It sucks that I have to leave tomorrow and at 9 AM!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I don't want bạn to leave either because we all had fun with you! Most of all though; it means that I'm going to have to get up in the middle of the night again!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm going to miss the weird conversations bạn and I had at midnight while we ate the fast thực phẩm bạn picked up!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "don't forget that I'll be back when you're still pregnant, a couple of days before bạn have Carter so it isn't the last fast thực phẩm conversation the two of us have!" I hugged her and we drove back to the house.

October 2, 2008

Dad came into my room and sat down tiếp theo to me. He đã đưa ý kiến "only one thêm tháng left until little Carter Shawn it here!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm so done being pregnant; everything hurts!" He đã đưa ý kiến "I wish we could find somebody to paint a mural to go along with the nursery side of your bedroom!" I đã đưa ý kiến as I smiled "I think I know a guy!" He đã đưa ý kiến "you should call him because we have to paint the nursery today!"

3 hours later there was a knock at the front door and I heard a whole bunch of feet shuffle up the stairs. Dad opened my bedroom door and đã đưa ý kiến "AJ; your Những người bạn are here!" Colton, Sketch, and Brandon stood in front of me and we gave each other fist bumps. I asked "dad is it okay to use spray paint on the walls?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "yeah but; bạn can't be around it until the room airs out from the smell because bạn are pregnant." I đã đưa ý kiến okay; these are my Những người bạn that I was telling bạn about, Brandon Colton, and Sketch." Dad looked at me puzzled as we left the room and asked "why do they call him Sketch?" I put my hand on his shoulder and đã đưa ý kiến "you'll see!"

Over five hours later, the guys came downstairs and đã đưa ý kiến "it doesn't smell like spray paint anymore and we're done the mural so; bạn can check it out!" We all went back upstairs and I slowly turned the doorknob to my room. Dad and I stood there staring at the one tường in my bedroom with giant graffiti letters that say 'Carter ‘in all different shades of blue. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "this is amazing! bạn guys are really talented artists! Now I can see why they call bạn Sketch!" Brandon smiled and đã đưa ý kiến as he fist bumped me "no problem; it's the least we could do! We're really sorry that Damien is being such a jerk! Every time he gets on his MySpace page, we tell him that he needs to get his butt here to LA and be with you! Oh and bởi the way; thanks for paying for our flight down here Mr. Jackson!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "of course and now that I see that bạn guys are nothing like Damien is, bạn can hang out with AJ thêm often! Probably not a lot now because her first priority is being a mother but; every now and then is fine!"

November 16, 2008,

I was sitting on the đi văng when the doorbell rang. I yelled "dad; I think Kate is here!" He opened the door and đã đưa ý kiến "it's so nice to see bạn again!" She ran into the living room to see me and đã đưa ý kiến "hi AJ!" I đã đưa ý kiến "hi; I would get up to hug bạn but; I'm stuck!" All three of us started laughing and Kate sat down so I could hug her. She đã đưa ý kiến "you look exhausted!" I rubbed my eyes and đã đưa ý kiến "I am; I just want him out now!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I don't think you'll be saying that when he is ready to come out!" Kate chuckled and asked "did bạn set up all the nursery stuff we bought in your bedroom?" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I'm sure you've heard from the guys that Damien and AJ hang out with that they painted the mural on the bedroom wall." Kate đã đưa ý kiến "they still haven't stopped talking about it! They were like 'dude; Michael Jackson's house is huge! We've never legally spray-painted anything before! He paid us $500 each for that one mural! He seems like such an awesome dad; AJ is so lucky!'" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "we wanted to wait until bạn came to set up the furniture because bạn helped us pick everything out." She đã đưa ý kiến "well; come on! I want to go see the mural too!" I asked "okay but; one of bạn needs to help me up because I wasn't exaggerating when I đã đưa ý kiến I was stuck!" The two of them laughed as they helped a very pregnant me off of the couch.

The three of us made our way upstairs as I grabbed onto dad for support. I opened my bedroom door and Kate was shocked bởi the state of my room. She đã đưa ý kiến "the mural looks amazing but; there are clothes everywhere! Not to mention all the video games cases all over the floor!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I was planning on cleaning up in here a few hours before AJ comes back from the hospital." She đã đưa ý kiến "that's fine; I'll clean it! Just promise me that bạn won't let your room get like this again after the baby is born!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I'll make sure that she doesn't let it get like this again because I won't stand for it with a baby around!" She took a sigh of relief and đã đưa ý kiến "that's good!"

As she picked up things in my room she noticed the tường opposite of the one with the mural on it. Almost 100 posters of Jesse McCartney were taped up there and dad đã đưa ý kiến "oh; I see you've discovered Alanna's secret infatuation with J – Mac!" I đã đưa ý kiến "dad; I can call him that but; it's creepy when bạn do!" bởi the way Kate; I don't have an obsession with Jesse McCartney; no matter what my dad says!" She đã đưa ý kiến as she pointed at the tường "you can't tell me that bạn don't have an obsession with him with a tường like this! You're lucky that Damien can't see this because he would probably rip them all down! He hates the boy band type singers! He ripped all of his sisters Jonas Brothers posters down because I think he's jealous that they have girls falling all over them!" Dad chuckled and đã đưa ý kiến "alright; enough about Jesse McCartney! We've got some decorating to do!"

November 18, 2008,

We were all sitting at the phòng bếp, nhà bếp bàn when I got up and dad asked nervously "where are bạn going?" I đã đưa ý kiến "calm down dad! I'm just going to the bathroom! When the baby is coming; you'll be the first to know!" Kate rolled her eyes and đã đưa ý kiến "oh my gosh Michael; AJ and I weren't nervous at all but; you're making us nervous! The last thing we need it for AJ to be nervous!"

I whispered from down the hall "Kate; come here!" She walked over secretively and saw that I was standing in a bloody puddle. She đã đưa ý kiến "your dad's going to freak out!" She walked out back into the phòng bếp, nhà bếp and dad asked "where's AJ?" She calmly responded "her water just broke." Dad stared at her in shock for a few giây and đã đưa ý kiến "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GO NOW!!!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "if you're like this Michael; bạn going to stress her out! bạn need to stay calm!" He took a deep breath and đã đưa ý kiến "you're right! We really do need to leave though!" I đã đưa ý kiến "can we talk about this another time!"

Dad and Kate walked me out to the car and helped me into the back seat. Kate got into the driver’s ghế, chỗ ngồi and started the car as dad sat down tiếp theo to me. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "it takes 15 phút to get to the hospital! Are bạn in any pain yet?" I đã đưa ý kiến "a little bit so far." He held out his hand and I đã đưa ý kiến "no; I don't have to hold your hand; it doesn't hurt that bad!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "trust me; you're going to want to hold my hand!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I'm fine dad!"

We pulled up in front of the hospital and dad was surprised with how calm I was. We got out of the car and walked inside. Kate walked up to the front bàn and đã đưa ý kiến "we have someone whose water just broke!" The staff brought a wheelchair out to me and we slowly started to go down to our hospital room all the way at the end of the long hall. When we were halfway there dad and Kate noticed the spontaneous change in me. Dad asked "are bạn okay Alanna?" I put my hand over my forehead and đã đưa ý kiến "I think I'm feeling it now!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "we're almost there; just a few feet away." I can say now that that walk down the hall seemed like it took hours!

I slowly moved from the wheelchair I was in and into the hospital bed. Dad asked "is the doctor coming?" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; I can hear footsteps." A female doctor came into the room and đã đưa ý kiến "I've heard that we have a baby on the way in here." Dad shook hands with her and đã đưa ý kiến "nice to meet bạn Dr. Benson" as he read her name tag. She looked at me and asked "how are bạn feeling?" I đã đưa ý kiến "it's slowly getting thêm intense bởi the minute. It's not excruciating yet though!" She đã đưa ý kiến "that's good! Let's see if you're really ready to have this baby!"

After examining me, she đã đưa ý kiến "you're not ready yet! I'll be back in about 15 phút to check again." She left the room and I asked as I looked up at Kate who was sitting beside my hospital giường "how long is it going to be before I can start pushing?" She đã đưa ý kiến "who knows; it could be phút hoặc it could be hours." I đã đưa ý kiến "hours!" Dad kissed my forehead and he could tell that the pain was getting increasingly worse but; I was being my usual stubborn self and wasn't going to hiển thị my discomfort easily!

15 phút later, Dr. Benson came back into the room and đã đưa ý kiến "it seems to me like you're ready now!" I đã đưa ý kiến "thank God" and dad đã đưa ý kiến "the pushing is the painful part!" At this point, I was already sweating and trying my best to hide my tears. I asked "you mean to tell me that it's going to be thêm painful than it already is right now?" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "so much worse! Like the worst pressure you've ever felt in your life!" Dr. Benson asked "would bạn like to have the epidural hoặc natural childbirth?" I asked confused "what's an epidural?" She responded "it's a needle full of medicine that numbs everything so bạn can't feel any pain." I đã đưa ý kiến "no I don't need that; I'm doing it naturally!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "AJ; I suggest bạn use the epidural; I know how bạn are and bạn don't want to use it because bạn want to be tough!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "I've done it once naturally and once with the epidural and I agree with your dad completely! I really think bạn need to just go along with what we are suggesting! bạn have to remember that your only 14 and I'm telling bạn that bạn are going to be in some serious pain if bạn don't choose to go with the epidural; I'm just letting bạn know!" I đã đưa ý kiến as I looked up at Dr. Benson "no; I want to do this naturally." She asked "are bạn 100% sure because once bạn start pushing there is no changing your mind?" I đã đưa ý kiến "yeah; I'm sure!" Dad and Kate looked at each other worried and dad sat in the chair tiếp theo to her.

A few phút later, Dr. Benson đã đưa ý kiến "okay; push as hard as bạn possibly can for as long as bạn can!" What I felt with that very first push I couldn't possibly explain to you; I guess I guess I could compare it to someone slowly ripping the skin off your body! Not to mention the tremendous pressure that Kate had warned me about. Dr. Benson đã đưa ý kiến "okay push again!" I started crying as I attempted again and the tiếp theo thing I knew dad had grabbed my hand! I đã đưa ý kiến "I told bạn I didn't need to hold your hand dad!" He đã đưa ý kiến "stop being so stubborn and push AJ!"

While I pushed for the third time I must've practically crushed dad's hand with how hard I was holding it! bởi the fourth time, I đã đưa ý kiến "I WANT HIM OUT NOW! I'm going to kill Damien for putting me through this!" Dr. Benson đã đưa ý kiến "I can see a head! It should only take about one thêm BIG push to get him out! Kate switched places with dad so he could help Dr. Benson guide the baby out and suddenly I finally felt the relief I had been searching for!

giây later, I heard my son cry for the first time and dad came over to me with tears in his eyes. He kissed the hàng đầu, đầu trang of my head and đã đưa ý kiến "you did it; he's here!" I started crying uncontrollably and đã đưa ý kiến "I want to see Carter!" Kate walked over to where the nurses were evaluating him and đã đưa ý kiến "he's beautiful AJ!” One of the nurses shouted "AJ; he weighs 7 pounds exactly." Dad went over to look at his grandson and I asked "will bạn bring him over here to me now?"

Dad walked over to me with a bundle of blue blankets in his arms and đã đưa ý kiến "here's Carter; don't forget to support his head!" That was the first time I saw my son and he was even cuter than I had imagined. Kate stroked his head while he was still in my arms and I passed him to her and she đã đưa ý kiến "hi Carter; I'm your grandma!" I đã đưa ý kiến while growing impatient "I want him back now!" Dr. Benson đã đưa ý kiến "he seems pretty healthy so; instead of going for further evaluation, bạn can keep him in here with bạn guys! A nurse will come in and help bạn finalize his birth certificate in about two hours!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "thank bạn for everything Dr. Benson!" She đã đưa ý kiến "no problem; this is why I tình yêu my job!"

I passed Carter to dad and looked out the window that was tiếp theo to me. I looked down at the parking lot and đã đưa ý kiến "I think bạn guys are going to want to see what I can see from over here!" Kate and dad got up and looked out the window. Dad asked "is that Damien? It is!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "he must've used my credit card to buy a plane ticket out here!” I bit my lip angrily and đã đưa ý kiến "now after all this time he shows up!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến as he grinded his teeth "I'm sorry about this Kate but; I'm about to go down there into the parking lot and kick your son's ass!!!" She đã đưa ý kiến "go right ahead! I think I might tham gia you! I'm seething with anger right now!" I đã đưa ý kiến "whatever bạn do don't let him come up here because I'll bash his head in! Yes I'm aware that I just had a baby but; at this point I don't care how exhausted I am he deserves it!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến as he ran out of the room with Kate "don't worry; he won't want to after I'm done with him!” Forgetting that he had Carter in his arms, he quickly ran back into the room and passed him back to me!

As I saw the two of them storm to where Damien was; I decided to open the window so I could hear what was going on. Dad looked at Damien and asked "what do bạn think you're doing here?" Damien đã đưa ý kiến "I'm here to see my son!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "you're about nine months too late for that!" Damien đã đưa ý kiến "I'm going to see my son!" Dad pushed Damien seeming to want to instigate a fight and đã đưa ý kiến "no you're not!" Damien asked "you want to go? I'm not scared of bạn Michael!" I đã đưa ý kiến under my breath "well; bạn should be!"

The two of them put their fists up and started to cú đấm the air around the others face!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "come on and cú đấm me then!!!" Damien swung his fist in the air but missed! I couldn't help but laugh and dad đã đưa ý kiến "let me hiển thị bạn how it's done jerk face!" I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could hear dad's fist make contact with Damien's face. Damien fell to the ground and Kate đã đưa ý kiến "don't come back here! If bạn think it's cool to run off like that then don't bother coming back to the house when bạn go back to Vegas either! I'm canceling my credit cards and bạn can have fun trying to make it on your own in the real world! Don't come crawling back to me when bạn can't do it anymore! Until bạn get your priorities straight and apologize to AJ; who I'd like to remind bạn is the mother of your son… Just don't come back until bạn grow a pair and own up to the stupid choices bạn have made!" Damien stumbled off looking like he had sprained his ankle when he fell to the ground!

Dad and Kate came back upstairs to our room and I đã đưa ý kiến "wow Kate; I didn't know that bạn had that you!" Dad asked "was it just me hoặc did bạn smell alcohol on Damien's breath too?" She đã đưa ý kiến "I could too; I'm used to it though! He's been drinking since last year!" I shook my head in disbelief and dad smiled as he đã đưa ý kiến "I can't believe I gave him a black eye! I don't think he will come back unless he grows up!" I đã đưa ý kiến "if it doesn't bother bạn Kate; I'd prefer to have Carter's last name be Jackson instead of Hayes because I don't think Damien deserves the right to have the same last name as his son! If he can prove to me that he does then I will have it legally changed!" She đã đưa ý kiến "of course and I agree with you." I đã đưa ý kiến "I can't wait to bring my little Carter Shawn Jackson trang chủ tomorrow so he can me everyone!"

November 19, 2008,

We were just arriving back to the house after leaving the hospital when I could see Blanket running excitedly down the driveway. I opened the car door and he đã đưa ý kiến "I want to see Carter!" I đã đưa ý kiến while whispering "you can see him when we get inside but; bạn have to calm down and be quiet because he’s sleeping!" Dad and Kate walked inside behind me while I carried Carter in his car seat.

As I picked Carter up out of his car ghế, chỗ ngồi he started to cry. I was freaked out bởi this because I don't really know how to figure out what he needs yet. Dad came over and took him from me. I đã đưa ý kiến "I don't know what he needs!" Dad asked as his eyes widened "well; are bạn ready to learn how to change a diaper?" I đã đưa ý kiến "I might as well learn how to now!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "I'll talk bạn through it!"

Kate put a blanket down on the đi văng and I laid Carter on it. Dad đã đưa ý kiến "you don't have to clean him up with the wipes for 15 phút AJ; oh my gosh!" I đã đưa ý kiến "I just want to make sure I'm doing it right dad! Would bạn rather I not be so meticulous about it?" He đã đưa ý kiến "I like that bạn want to be thorough but; you've got to go a little bit faster hoặc he might –! I asked "he might what?" Dad and Kate looked down and đã đưa ý kiến "do that!" I looked to see what they were talking about and jumped up. I đã đưa ý kiến "ewww bạn didn't tell me that he would pee on me!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến while laughing along with Kate "we tried to but bạn wouldn't listen!" I shouted all the way from the bathroom where I made an attempt to save my áo sơ mi "that's so disgusting; it's not funny bạn guys!" Kate đã đưa ý kiến "just so bạn know; everything about em bé and toddlers is disgusting; something is always going everywhere hoặc all over you… Welcome to motherhood AJ!" Dad đã đưa ý kiến "he only got a little bit on you! Just wait till it's 2 in the morning one of these times and bạn have to take a vòi hoa sen because of that!"

(awww i'm sad, the chapter after this one is the last one with Michael alive)