Last edited 21 December 2007
If a link is to be believed, most of us fanpop users live in cities hoặc their suburbs. For those of us who do, I issue another challenge, but this time it's not designing your own game hoặc nghề viết văn poetry. This is a giáng sinh challenge, so it follows in the spirit of the holiday. We can all get caught up in the glamour of the holiday (in both meanings of the word), but regardless of your belief in the divinity of Jesus, the holiday is to commemorate his birth, and since most of the history we have of him is about his caring for the disenfranchised, poor and sick, I challenge us all to do the same this holiday season.
Some background
It's my habit to bring snacks to meetings I attend at work (so that, if nothing else of worth happens, at least there's good victuals to be had). Recently I bought groceries for my family at link, only to discover that I'd accidentally bought a product that my wife and son couldn't eat due to their allergies. Whoops! Yesterday I realized that I had a little time before my first meeting, and drove off to TJ's to exchange the item. Walking out of the store, feeling pretty smug that I'd completed the transaction so quickly, I realized that I could use this thực phẩm for the meeting, so that I could continue my tradition of supplying thực phẩm for our often-stultifying meetings. Now I was really smug!
Then I saw James, a weatherbeaten, stooped homeless man, shuffling across the parking lot, and my smug bubble burst. I went over and introduced myself, shook his hand, asked him his name, and listened to him. He asked for some money, which I gave to him. Then I realized that I was still holding the package of food, and so I offered it to James, who thought about it and decided to accept my offer. We talked a little bit more, I shook his hand again and bade him farewell. I drove off and started to soạn thảo this bài viết in my mind.
The Challenge
The challenge is simple: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than bạn before the new year. If bạn live in a city hoặc a suburb of a city, there are homeless people where bạn live. There are also likely to be battered women's shelters, orphanages and súp kitchens, all of which are certain to need help during the holdiays, when the need is most felt (to paraphrase Dickens).
Some of bạn may say "I already make a regular financial donation to X organization, which provides aid to the homeless" to which I say Bravo! But that's not the challenge. The challenge is: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than bạn before the new year.
Ways to give your time
In a broad sense, there are two ways to give your time to those less fortunate than you: in person, hoặc via an organization formed for such a purpose.
Volunteering with an organization
There are many, many charitable organizations around the world that serve the hungry and the homeless where bạn live, and almost all of them are operated bởi volunteers just like bạn hoặc me. I'll provide some đường dẫn to some ones that are local to me at the end of this article, but I'd appreciate it if bạn would add đường dẫn for organizations in your area in your các bình luận on this article. Generally speaking, the way it works is this:
* bạn volunteer bởi calling a telephone number for the organization
* a volunteer there tells bạn when and where to be in order to help
* bạn arrive at the appointed place and time (usually a shelter, community center hoặc church). Donated food/toys/supplies arrive, and bạn tham gia the volunteers sorting the goods in preparation for the recipients' arrival.
* the homeless/needy/abused people arrive, form a queue and proceed past the volunteers, getting thực phẩm hoặc supplies served to them
* after the bulk of the serving is done, volunteers might have time to circulate among the people and interact with them
* after the appointed time has come to a close, the volunteers clean up
Interacting with the homeless in person
Whether bạn volunteer with an organization hoặc bạn see the man on the đường phố, street corner rather than stepping over him, at some point you'll have an opportunity to interact with the people bạn are trying to help. Here's some general guidelines for such interaction:
1. Money
Many homeless people will ask for money. Some of bạn may say "I don't give money to those people. They'd just waste it on <insert vice here>." Here are some things to consider:
* bạn can't control how anybody uses a gift bạn give them. If bạn think bạn can, bạn are just that crazy.
* If bạn withhold something that they need from someone because they might misuse it, that means that bạn neither respect nor trust that person. The message bạn send is "I don't think bạn are capable to handle responsibility, so I won't give bạn that chance."
* Giving money is much, much easier than giving your time. Most homeless have come to ask for money because that's the most they can expect to get, and even that is ego-crushing/humbling. Don't think for a moment that it is easy for an homeless person to ask for money. Imagine instead how bạn would feel if bạn woke up one morning and everything was gone. No Fanpop, no computer, no bed, no room, no house, no car, no money in the bank. What would bạn do? You'd try to fix it on your own, right, maybe get a loan from the bank hoặc use a credit card? Imagine then that neither will extend bạn any credit, and that your family is not there to support you, for whatever reason. You'd have to rely on the kindness of strangers, even if it was just to keep bạn alive until your tiếp theo paycheck, knowing that whatever the causes of your poverty, everyone is going to assume that it's your fault that you're in this situation and judge bạn accordingly. Imagining all that, how easy is it going to be for bạn to ask for money? How much worse will it feel when the people don't give bạn anything? Does that get easier over time, the judgement and rejection from complete strangers?
All that said, earlier I specifically đã đưa ý kiến that the challenge was not to give money but to give time. Giving some money to a homeless person is a way of demonstrating trust, respect, and providing support to a person who is down on his/her luck. As I đã đưa ý kiến earlier, it's also the sum total of what such a person has come to expect, through long experience of painful interactions ("Here's some change. Don't touch me!"). As such it can serve as a way of getting past the barriers the person has put up so that bạn can, possibly, hiển thị them some further respect bởi spending time with them. If bạn really don't have money to give, bạn can still give them your attention.
2. Attention
The homeless life is incredibly isolating, as the people find themselves disenfranchised, ignored, and alone thêm often than not. One of the most valuable things bạn can give to someone who is homeless, neglected hoặc abused is your attention. Talk to them, and listen to what they have to say. Tell them your name, ask them theirs, and remember it. Make eye contact, and ask các câu hỏi about the things they tell you.
3. Touch
To be human is to need physical contact with our fellow men. If bạn can do so safely and appropriately, make some slight physical contact as bạn both feel comfortable. Such physical contact should never make bạn feel threatened, so if bạn feel really unsafe, don't do it. A handshake always works well to demonstrate respect, I've found. If you've already established a friendship with the person from trước đó interactions and you'd think that you'd both be comfortable with it, bạn might clap a hand on the shoulder in camaraderie or, maybe, give a hug when saying hello hoặc goodbye (that's really only appropriate if you've seen and talked to the person several times previously).
The physical contact should also communicate that bạn are interacting as equals, so bạn should avoid doing things that might be interpreted as condescending hoặc overly familiar to the other person, such as patting them on the head hoặc remaining in their personal không gian for any significant length of time. Generally, a good distance is just inside arm's-length, not closer and not farther away.
4. Other things
In general, think of your interactions with homeless as with an old acquaintance whom bạn haven't seen for years. Whether hoặc not bạn see your way to giving money, bạn could take them to a store and buy them a áo khoác hoặc blanket. bạn could take them to a restaurant and buy a meal. bạn could take them to a grocery and buy them some food, water and perhaps some toiletries. As an alternative, bạn could prepare a "kit" of such things in advance, so that when bạn run into someone who is homeless, bạn could readily provide these things from the bag.
A note on food:
thực phẩm is best when it's packaged, unopened, and not partially eaten. It's OK when bạn have just finished a meal with the person to offer the leftovers to them, but meeting someone on the đường phố, street and handing them a package of leftovers, while it might help them, is still treating them like the family dog. The better thing to do is to order an extra burger at the fast thực phẩm place, hoặc buy a couple of extra packages of thực phẩm at the store, then offer complete, "virgin" items. That way the person doesn't feel like an afterthought.
Tips on being safe
All this said, don't put yourself in unsafe situations. For many people new to it, interacting with the homeless might feel uncomfortable: that's not what I'm talking about. Uncomfortable in that context can be good. What I'm talking about it taking precautions to make sure that bạn are an toàn, két an toàn and that your boundaries as well as the other's boundaries are not broken. Homeless, orphans and abused women/children are people deserving of your respect, but they are human, and have their foibles and brokenness just like the rest of us. Here are some basic tips:
A. Don't go alone.
If bạn go to volunteer, take an adult friend hoặc family member with you. For that matter, let family and Những người bạn know where bạn will be before going. If bạn talk to homeless people on the street, make sure bạn are in a public, well-lit place with lots of other people in the vicinity.
B. Be prepared for rejection
Much like the link who is surprised that other những người hâm mộ object when they bombard ngẫu nhiên spots with content, bạn will occasionally find that your attention is not welcomed. Do not insist on your philanthropy - it's condescending if it's not welcome. Be prepared that some people just won't want to talk, won't want handouts, and won't even want money. Humans are universally proud, and everyone wants to feel that he can do it on his own, sometimes.
C. Be prepared to assert your boundaries
Be friendly, but know that desperate people can be very "clingy" emotionally. They may try to take thêm of your time hoặc personal không gian from bạn than you're willing to give. If a person is trying to get too close to you, trying to touch bạn inappropriately, hoặc asking inappropriate questions, be firm, saying: "I want to talk to you, but I'm not comfortable with what you're doing/saying right now. If bạn continue, I'm going to have to leave." if they're being physically inappropriate hoặc "I'd rather hear about <x> (where you're from, how long you've been in this area, et cetera)." if the conversation is getting abusive hoặc too personal.
D. Give money wisely
If bạn do give money, have the bills ready in a pocket separate from the rest of your money hoặc in your hand as bạn offer it to them. Don't unroll bills from a money clip hoặc flash your billfold in front of them. Don't jingle your pockets full of change at them.
E. Leave safely
When you're ready to leave, be clear that it is time for bạn to leave, and say goodbye. Shake the person's hand if bạn are comfortable doing so, and then leave. If it seems like the person is following you, go to a public location with lots of people and call a friend hoặc family member to come get you. If bạn were volunteering with an organization, go to the volunteer coordinator and tell him/her that bạn are uncomfortable. Make sure to leave with all the other volunteers, rather than remaining afterward so that bạn have to leave alone.
F. Give them a choice
Whether bạn offer money, food, hoặc other supplies, make it clear that they have the option to refuse your charity. Rather than saying "You look like bạn need this thêm than I do; here, take this" say something like "I've got this; would bạn like it?"
G. Exercise common sense
Use your best judgement as to what's an toàn, két an toàn in these situations. If bạn are a minor, don't even think about accepting this challenge without the consent and assistance of one hoặc both of your parents.
Conclusion
giáng sinh is a time for giving, not just to the people we know, but to the less fortunate all around us. I invite bạn to accept this challenge and give some of your time to someone who really needs it.
As I mentioned before, please provide đường dẫn to your local agencies that provide such assistance in the các bình luận on this article, as well as accounts of your experiences reaching out in this manner.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Some đường dẫn for volunteer organizations:
link
link
link
If a link is to be believed, most of us fanpop users live in cities hoặc their suburbs. For those of us who do, I issue another challenge, but this time it's not designing your own game hoặc nghề viết văn poetry. This is a giáng sinh challenge, so it follows in the spirit of the holiday. We can all get caught up in the glamour of the holiday (in both meanings of the word), but regardless of your belief in the divinity of Jesus, the holiday is to commemorate his birth, and since most of the history we have of him is about his caring for the disenfranchised, poor and sick, I challenge us all to do the same this holiday season.
Some background
It's my habit to bring snacks to meetings I attend at work (so that, if nothing else of worth happens, at least there's good victuals to be had). Recently I bought groceries for my family at link, only to discover that I'd accidentally bought a product that my wife and son couldn't eat due to their allergies. Whoops! Yesterday I realized that I had a little time before my first meeting, and drove off to TJ's to exchange the item. Walking out of the store, feeling pretty smug that I'd completed the transaction so quickly, I realized that I could use this thực phẩm for the meeting, so that I could continue my tradition of supplying thực phẩm for our often-stultifying meetings. Now I was really smug!
Then I saw James, a weatherbeaten, stooped homeless man, shuffling across the parking lot, and my smug bubble burst. I went over and introduced myself, shook his hand, asked him his name, and listened to him. He asked for some money, which I gave to him. Then I realized that I was still holding the package of food, and so I offered it to James, who thought about it and decided to accept my offer. We talked a little bit more, I shook his hand again and bade him farewell. I drove off and started to soạn thảo this bài viết in my mind.
The Challenge
The challenge is simple: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than bạn before the new year. If bạn live in a city hoặc a suburb of a city, there are homeless people where bạn live. There are also likely to be battered women's shelters, orphanages and súp kitchens, all of which are certain to need help during the holdiays, when the need is most felt (to paraphrase Dickens).
Some of bạn may say "I already make a regular financial donation to X organization, which provides aid to the homeless" to which I say Bravo! But that's not the challenge. The challenge is: give some of your time to help someone way less fortunate than bạn before the new year.
Ways to give your time
In a broad sense, there are two ways to give your time to those less fortunate than you: in person, hoặc via an organization formed for such a purpose.
Volunteering with an organization
There are many, many charitable organizations around the world that serve the hungry and the homeless where bạn live, and almost all of them are operated bởi volunteers just like bạn hoặc me. I'll provide some đường dẫn to some ones that are local to me at the end of this article, but I'd appreciate it if bạn would add đường dẫn for organizations in your area in your các bình luận on this article. Generally speaking, the way it works is this:
* bạn volunteer bởi calling a telephone number for the organization
* a volunteer there tells bạn when and where to be in order to help
* bạn arrive at the appointed place and time (usually a shelter, community center hoặc church). Donated food/toys/supplies arrive, and bạn tham gia the volunteers sorting the goods in preparation for the recipients' arrival.
* the homeless/needy/abused people arrive, form a queue and proceed past the volunteers, getting thực phẩm hoặc supplies served to them
* after the bulk of the serving is done, volunteers might have time to circulate among the people and interact with them
* after the appointed time has come to a close, the volunteers clean up
Interacting with the homeless in person
Whether bạn volunteer with an organization hoặc bạn see the man on the đường phố, street corner rather than stepping over him, at some point you'll have an opportunity to interact with the people bạn are trying to help. Here's some general guidelines for such interaction:
1. Money
Many homeless people will ask for money. Some of bạn may say "I don't give money to those people. They'd just waste it on <insert vice here>." Here are some things to consider:
* bạn can't control how anybody uses a gift bạn give them. If bạn think bạn can, bạn are just that crazy.
* If bạn withhold something that they need from someone because they might misuse it, that means that bạn neither respect nor trust that person. The message bạn send is "I don't think bạn are capable to handle responsibility, so I won't give bạn that chance."
* Giving money is much, much easier than giving your time. Most homeless have come to ask for money because that's the most they can expect to get, and even that is ego-crushing/humbling. Don't think for a moment that it is easy for an homeless person to ask for money. Imagine instead how bạn would feel if bạn woke up one morning and everything was gone. No Fanpop, no computer, no bed, no room, no house, no car, no money in the bank. What would bạn do? You'd try to fix it on your own, right, maybe get a loan from the bank hoặc use a credit card? Imagine then that neither will extend bạn any credit, and that your family is not there to support you, for whatever reason. You'd have to rely on the kindness of strangers, even if it was just to keep bạn alive until your tiếp theo paycheck, knowing that whatever the causes of your poverty, everyone is going to assume that it's your fault that you're in this situation and judge bạn accordingly. Imagining all that, how easy is it going to be for bạn to ask for money? How much worse will it feel when the people don't give bạn anything? Does that get easier over time, the judgement and rejection from complete strangers?
All that said, earlier I specifically đã đưa ý kiến that the challenge was not to give money but to give time. Giving some money to a homeless person is a way of demonstrating trust, respect, and providing support to a person who is down on his/her luck. As I đã đưa ý kiến earlier, it's also the sum total of what such a person has come to expect, through long experience of painful interactions ("Here's some change. Don't touch me!"). As such it can serve as a way of getting past the barriers the person has put up so that bạn can, possibly, hiển thị them some further respect bởi spending time with them. If bạn really don't have money to give, bạn can still give them your attention.
2. Attention
The homeless life is incredibly isolating, as the people find themselves disenfranchised, ignored, and alone thêm often than not. One of the most valuable things bạn can give to someone who is homeless, neglected hoặc abused is your attention. Talk to them, and listen to what they have to say. Tell them your name, ask them theirs, and remember it. Make eye contact, and ask các câu hỏi about the things they tell you.
3. Touch
To be human is to need physical contact with our fellow men. If bạn can do so safely and appropriately, make some slight physical contact as bạn both feel comfortable. Such physical contact should never make bạn feel threatened, so if bạn feel really unsafe, don't do it. A handshake always works well to demonstrate respect, I've found. If you've already established a friendship with the person from trước đó interactions and you'd think that you'd both be comfortable with it, bạn might clap a hand on the shoulder in camaraderie or, maybe, give a hug when saying hello hoặc goodbye (that's really only appropriate if you've seen and talked to the person several times previously).
The physical contact should also communicate that bạn are interacting as equals, so bạn should avoid doing things that might be interpreted as condescending hoặc overly familiar to the other person, such as patting them on the head hoặc remaining in their personal không gian for any significant length of time. Generally, a good distance is just inside arm's-length, not closer and not farther away.
4. Other things
In general, think of your interactions with homeless as with an old acquaintance whom bạn haven't seen for years. Whether hoặc not bạn see your way to giving money, bạn could take them to a store and buy them a áo khoác hoặc blanket. bạn could take them to a restaurant and buy a meal. bạn could take them to a grocery and buy them some food, water and perhaps some toiletries. As an alternative, bạn could prepare a "kit" of such things in advance, so that when bạn run into someone who is homeless, bạn could readily provide these things from the bag.
A note on food:
thực phẩm is best when it's packaged, unopened, and not partially eaten. It's OK when bạn have just finished a meal with the person to offer the leftovers to them, but meeting someone on the đường phố, street and handing them a package of leftovers, while it might help them, is still treating them like the family dog. The better thing to do is to order an extra burger at the fast thực phẩm place, hoặc buy a couple of extra packages of thực phẩm at the store, then offer complete, "virgin" items. That way the person doesn't feel like an afterthought.
Tips on being safe
All this said, don't put yourself in unsafe situations. For many people new to it, interacting with the homeless might feel uncomfortable: that's not what I'm talking about. Uncomfortable in that context can be good. What I'm talking about it taking precautions to make sure that bạn are an toàn, két an toàn and that your boundaries as well as the other's boundaries are not broken. Homeless, orphans and abused women/children are people deserving of your respect, but they are human, and have their foibles and brokenness just like the rest of us. Here are some basic tips:
A. Don't go alone.
If bạn go to volunteer, take an adult friend hoặc family member with you. For that matter, let family and Những người bạn know where bạn will be before going. If bạn talk to homeless people on the street, make sure bạn are in a public, well-lit place with lots of other people in the vicinity.
B. Be prepared for rejection
Much like the link who is surprised that other những người hâm mộ object when they bombard ngẫu nhiên spots with content, bạn will occasionally find that your attention is not welcomed. Do not insist on your philanthropy - it's condescending if it's not welcome. Be prepared that some people just won't want to talk, won't want handouts, and won't even want money. Humans are universally proud, and everyone wants to feel that he can do it on his own, sometimes.
C. Be prepared to assert your boundaries
Be friendly, but know that desperate people can be very "clingy" emotionally. They may try to take thêm of your time hoặc personal không gian from bạn than you're willing to give. If a person is trying to get too close to you, trying to touch bạn inappropriately, hoặc asking inappropriate questions, be firm, saying: "I want to talk to you, but I'm not comfortable with what you're doing/saying right now. If bạn continue, I'm going to have to leave." if they're being physically inappropriate hoặc "I'd rather hear about <x> (where you're from, how long you've been in this area, et cetera)." if the conversation is getting abusive hoặc too personal.
D. Give money wisely
If bạn do give money, have the bills ready in a pocket separate from the rest of your money hoặc in your hand as bạn offer it to them. Don't unroll bills from a money clip hoặc flash your billfold in front of them. Don't jingle your pockets full of change at them.
E. Leave safely
When you're ready to leave, be clear that it is time for bạn to leave, and say goodbye. Shake the person's hand if bạn are comfortable doing so, and then leave. If it seems like the person is following you, go to a public location with lots of people and call a friend hoặc family member to come get you. If bạn were volunteering with an organization, go to the volunteer coordinator and tell him/her that bạn are uncomfortable. Make sure to leave with all the other volunteers, rather than remaining afterward so that bạn have to leave alone.
F. Give them a choice
Whether bạn offer money, food, hoặc other supplies, make it clear that they have the option to refuse your charity. Rather than saying "You look like bạn need this thêm than I do; here, take this" say something like "I've got this; would bạn like it?"
G. Exercise common sense
Use your best judgement as to what's an toàn, két an toàn in these situations. If bạn are a minor, don't even think about accepting this challenge without the consent and assistance of one hoặc both of your parents.
Conclusion
giáng sinh is a time for giving, not just to the people we know, but to the less fortunate all around us. I invite bạn to accept this challenge and give some of your time to someone who really needs it.
As I mentioned before, please provide đường dẫn to your local agencies that provide such assistance in the các bình luận on this article, as well as accounts of your experiences reaching out in this manner.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Some đường dẫn for volunteer organizations:
link
link
link