I'm afraid to get close to God.

I agree with what tiagih said.

A relationship with God is a happy, peaceful, and loving relationship. bạn were caught in a hard time, and I think what bạn may be feeling is a bit of guilt. Forgive me if I'm wrong. bạn might be feeling guilty for cutting yourself. Of course, it's not a particular "sin," but God doesn't approve of cutting because He wants bạn to come to Him in your times of trouble and grief.

Go to church, listen to Christian music, talk to a pastor, and keep yourself regulated. Thank God for the things He's blessed bạn with. He's not a hard-core, menacing God wielding a whip and shouting bloody murder everytime someone disobeys Him.

He's a fatherly figure. He wants what's best for you. He is your Protector, your Strong, Right Hand, your Salvation, and your Savior. He's never going to push bạn away, even though bạn may do so sometimes. He will always tình yêu you. No matter what bạn may do, He is always ready to forgive bạn if bạn đệ trình to Him and ask Him to get rid of the sin conflicting with your soul.

There will be times when bạn feel isolated from God. It's called spiritual warfare. That's when Satan tries to grab a hold of your weakness and drag bạn down into disbelief.

Don't let that happen. Ask God for strength, and bạn can accomplish anything. Let Him be your dad.

Before I bình luận I want bạn to try and read the bible on what it takes about when God "part" of your hoặc when bạn "feel" him. I can't say what bạn feeling is hoặc isn't of God but I can tell bạn from my experience it is nothing but true happiness being in his presence. Its so peaceful and bạn feel warm and an toàn, két an toàn for that moment.
What bạn may be feeling is God getting rid of your demons that could posses bạn to sin. When demons posses our lives and God comes to get rid of them, it doesn't always feel comfortable. Imagine trying to máy bơm your stomach of alcohol that is what it is when God is purging us of our demons, and that is what I think is happening to you.

It will feel weird at first since it is the process of purging, but once its over and your a new and "born again" person, I can assure bạn that bạn will feel 100% better. Just keep the faith and fulfill all righteousness because I think God is trying to "clean" your soul so he can us bạn for something for his good will and pleasure.

If bạn don't understand what I am saying let me know

Idk but I am afraid to get close to him because will all my fears come true hoặc no if I’m still afraid hoặc will he just fake it away