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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Running from Chicagoat to San Franciscolt is a railroad called the Union Pacific. It's the largest railroad in the United States, and is run bởi thousands of ponies. This is the story of some of those ponies that run the rails, aka railroading.

Episode 1: New worker

Cheyenne, July 26, 1950

Coffee Creme: *walking on platform*
Orion: Hey, are bạn the new ngọn lửa, chữa cháy mare?
Coffee Creme: Yes.
Orion: Alright, you're working with another ngựa con, ngựa, pony on that passenger train. You're going to Las Pegasus. Good luck on your first day.
Coffee Creme: Thanks *walks to engine*
Hawkeye: Hi, bạn must be my new ngọn lửa, chữa cháy mare.
Coffee Creme: Yup.
Hawkeye: Name's Peirce Hawkins, though some ponies call me Hawkeye. Climb aboard, and we'll get going.
Coffee Creme: *enters locomotive*
Hawkeye: Alright, all bạn have to do is use this shovel, to put all the coal into this firebox. I'll let bạn know when to stop.
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: *waiting for signal*
Snowflake: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: Alright, once I pull this lever, we'll get the wheels moving, and we're outta here. *pulls lever*

The wheels moved, but Hawkeye's train didn't go anywhere

Hawkeye: Come on. You're made to pull this!
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: Alright. Now we're moving.
Coffee Creme: Can I stop?
Hawkeye: Sure. Now get to the right side of the cab, and look out for anything that could get in our way. We don't want that happening.
Coffee Creme: So how far is L.P from here?
Hawkeye: I'd say about 200 miles. We only have to go as far as Denver. When we get there, another crew will take over, and we'll take control of another train.
Coffee Creme: Does it say which one?
Hawkeye: It says a train with diesels.
Coffee Creme: Well, that's very helpful. Surely the engine must have a number.
Hawkeye: It does, and don't call me shirley.
Coffee Creme: What number is it?
Hawkeye: Doesn't say. It must be Mất tích from it's owner.

Soon, the two ponies arrived at Denver. Another train pulled bởi diesels stopped on the other side of the platform

Hawkeye: *climbs out*
Honey Bee: *climbs out* Hi Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: What's good Honey?
Honey Bee: I'm going to Las Pegasus. I see bạn have the new worker.
Hawkeye: Yeah.
Coffee Creme: I'm Coffee Creme
Honey Bee: Yeah, that's cool. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: What was that all about?
Hawkeye: She's not use to new workers. After a while, the new worker disease will be cured.
Gordon: *climbs out of engine* Well, I see they hate the new worker so far.
Hawkeye: They like her. In fact they like her so much that they didn't want her going with you.
Gordon: Ugh. Go fuck something.
Hawkeye: Please be thêm specific. "Something" does not help.
Gordon: UGH!!!! *walks away*
Hawkeye: *climbs in* Alright. Says here that we are going back to Cheyenne.
Coffee Creme: *climbs in* What about this freight train?
Hawkeye: We take it to the trainyard, and let the workers there do whatever. After that, it goes off to St. Foalis.
Coffee Creme: Alright then, let's go.
Hawkeye: Ok. *waits for green signal*
Coffee Creme: What are bạn waiting for?
Hawkeye: See that red light?
Coffee Creme: Yeah.
Hawkeye: We can't go until it turns green.
Coffee Creme: When does that happen?
Hawkeye: When bạn make it vomit.
Coffee Creme: *laughs* Now for real, what happens that makes the light turn green.
Hawkeye: We gotta wait for a train infront of us. It just turned yellow.
Coffee Creme: What does that mean?
Hawkeye: It means we can go, but the train in front of us hasn't cleared our path. *pushes lever*

The train started to move, when two ponies in a truck got ahead.

Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Is this the maintenence crew?
Hawkeye: It is. The best one we have too. Those ponies named Percy, and Jeff really know how to repair tracks.
Coffee Creme: They seem to be doing good.
Hawkeye: Yeah. *blows horn*
Percy: Better luck tiếp theo time Hawkeye! bạn can't scare us!
Hawkeye: I'll win tiếp theo time. And if I do, you'll owe me $4!
Jeff: You'll owe us $8 if we win!
Percy: Alright, it's all fixed.
Hawkeye: Thanks guys!
Percy: *drives away*
Hawkeye: *drives train*

When Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme got to Cheyenne, they were heading towards the train yard.

Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Ok, we're hear. Now what?
Hawkeye: Now we uncouple the locomotives, and put them in the servicing facility. Meanwhile, three engines will get behind the train, and push it down the hump.
Coffee Creme: How do bạn hump a train?
Hawkeye: bạn don't. It goes down a đồi núi, hill which is called the hump, because it goes uphill, and shortly after that it goes downhill.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Sort of. The cars in the train get uncoupled, and they go to different parts in the yard. The operator here is quick on her hooves.
Coffee Creme: What's her name?
Hawkeye: Red Rose. bạn can see her through the windows in that tower.
Orion: Hey. Get your engines uncoupled, and let's go.
Hawkeye: Sure thing. *uncouples engines* Alright. We're set. *enters locomotive*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Orion: *couples engines*
Red Rose: *switches tracks*
Hawkeye: *gets out of way*
Orion: *pushes train*
Hawkeye: And now, enjoy the action.

A few ponies were uncoupling cars, and when that happened they rolled down the hill.

Hawkeye: *enters servicing facility*
Coffee Creme: What happens here?
Hawkeye: These engines are going to be maintained. Whether it's being repaired, hoặc refueling this is where it goes after delivering a train.
Coffee Creme: Cool. What do we have to do?
Hawkeye: Let the maintenance crew work on it.
Coffee Creme: I thought they repaired the tracks.
Hawkeye: That's one of them. The other maintenance crew works here to look over locomotives. We head back to the station, and wait for another assignment.
Coffee Creme: Ok.
Pete: Hello Hawkeye! How have bạn been doing giving our new worker a tour of the Union Pacific?
Hawkeye: Fine, just fine. And she's been doing good too.
Pete: Well then. I'm glad that I had bạn hired. See bạn around. *walks off*
Coffee Creme: I suppose that's the owner of this railroad.
Hawkeye: bạn could say that. He just controls the area that we work in. His name is Pete Reimer.
Coffee Creme: Alright. What do we do now?
Hawkeye: We go back to the station, and wait for our tiếp theo assignment.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Pretty much.

They both got to the station. At the signal tower nearby was a pegasus walking towards them.

Hawkeye: Snowflake, what are bạn doing?
Snowflake: It's 7 PM. Our shift is over.
Hawkeye: Oh. Alright then.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: We usually go hangout at Snowflake's house. Wanna tham gia us?
Coffee Creme: Sure.

The three ponies then walked out of the station, and towards their cars.

Snowflake, Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme drove to Snowflake's house. When they got there, the three were playing monopoly

Coffee Creme: Can I ask bạn a question?
Hawkeye: Sure.
Coffee Creme: Why is Gordon such an ass?
Hawkeye: He was once a great driver, until he accidentally killed Pete's wife. Now he basically acts mean towards everypony for no reason.
Coffee Creme: That's terrible.
Snowflake: *rolls dice* Yeah. It's hard to believe, but it's true. How much do I owe you?
Hawkeye: It's New York avenue with two houses, so bạn owe me 90 dollars.
Snowflake: Here *hands over 100 dollar bill*
Hawkeye: Thank you.
Coffee Creme: What was it like before Gordon killed Pete's wife?
Hawkeye: He was working for the Santa Neigh railroad. It happened about two years cách đây

February 13, 1948

Hawkeye: *waits at station*
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Darling, where are bạn going?
Theresa: I'm going for a walk.
Pete: Alright, but come back soon. Our train leaves soon.
Honey: Surely this signal has to turn green someday.
Hawkeye: It will, and don't call me Shirley.
Theresa: *on bridge* Is this part of your line?
Pete: No, that belongs to the Santa Neigh line.
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Watch out!!
Theresa: Ah! *drops purse*
Gordon: *going 50* Get outta the way!!
Theresa: *grabs purse*
Pete: Hurry up!

Present day, July 27, 1950

Hawkeye: Then, the unfortunate occurred.
Coffee Creme: That's so terrible!
Hawkeye: It's even terrible bringing it up.
Snowflake: Forget that, my car is beating your train!
Hawkeye: We're on roads, not train tracks. *rolls dice*
Coffee Creme: Great, now he's gonna buy the Baltimare & Ohio!
Hawkeye: Yeah. Why don't they have the Union Pacific on here though?
Snowflake: Hey, that's a good point.
Gordon: *enters house*
Coffee Creme: Uh, aren't bạn supposed to be in Las Pegasus?
Gordon: No. May'be, who cares? *drinks beer*
Hawkeye: You're not drinking because of that accident in '48 are you?
Gordon: No! How dare bạn bring that up?!!?
Hawkeye: New worker.
Gordon: Then I'll have her fired.
Hawkeye: bạn can't ngọn lửa, chữa cháy her Gordon! She hasn't done anything wrong!
Gordon: She has interfered with a superior engineer! *drinks thêm beer*
Hawkeye: Alright, look. I know you're upset, but drinking booze won't help. Just forget about that, and look phía trước, chuyển tiếp to the future. bạn got that?
Gordon: Hey.. bạn know what? You're right.
Snowflake: *rolls dice*
Gordon: In fact you're so right, that it's a lie! *leaves house*
Hawkeye: Well, it was worth a try.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: It's almost eight. I have to get going.
Snowflake: Ok, bye,
Hawkeye: See bạn *walks out of house*

The End

tiếp theo up in Ponies On The Rails

The Union Pacific decides to borrow some engines, but Hawkeye has other plans.

SeanTheHedgehog: Copyright 2013
 Robotnik: Pingas!
Robotnik: Pingas!
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - cầu vồng Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Giải cứu thế giới - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland hiển thị - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin with the intro

Theme song: link

Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity:...
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posted by Canada24
Last chapter for the night.. It does contain one of my biggest "don't fuck with Johnny K!" moments...

-------------------------------------------------------------------


Johnny follows the compass, and before long it points to a waterfall, once at the location, he sees Buck again.

"Y -You put a tracker on me didn't you~!?" Johnny cried, offically creeped out.

"Hey, your my yêu thích pupil" Buck said, getting closer, Johnny holds him back.

"Hey, keep away from me!" Johnny said, hiển thị that this point Johnny is actually kinda frightened of Buck's ability of always appearing. It's almost supernatural....
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - cầu vồng Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Giải cứu thế giới - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland hiển thị - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Twilight was giving a lecture to everypony.

Twilight: Okay y'all. I'm the most important ngựa con, ngựa, pony in this shithole of a town, and bạn know it. The fact that-
Pinkie Pie: *Running towards Twilight* Herr Kommandant!! Herr Kommandant!!
Twilight: Man, I'm in da middle of an important lecture!! Everypony wants to hear dis!...
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posted by Canada24
So I have gotten a request from WindWaker430.. Review Adam Standler movies..

Well, least he's not making me watch Sebian Film again..

I suppose I could do this.. I like Adam Standler.. And thankfully, I don't have to review 12 Crazy Nights. Wind is gonna do that one.. Cause if I have to sit though 12 Angry Nights. Than deal off..



I still remember Grown Ups when first came out.. When I saw Adam Standler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, and David Spade, all in the cover. I was excited.. Not ironically.. I really was excited to see this movie.

So of coarse, my only reason to see that movie was to...
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#1: THE RING ITSELF:
He/She seems to have a personality of it's own.
It corrupts you. bạn want it even if bạn don't know why.
This is best shown in the beginning of Return of the King, when Smeagul and his cousin became immediately hostile towards each other..


#2: MURDOR:
The way Boromir describes it to the Council of Elrond. Despite inspiring one of the most classic memes..


#3:
The shot from the prologue of the men who will become the Nazgul, each holding a ring and standing in almost robotic uniformity, in contrast to the natural movements of the elves and the dwarves in the trước đó shots. And...
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Spoiler review..

So this has to be one of the most famish ghost phim chiếu rạp I could think of..

I wish I could go into this not knowing the twist.. But I been "Bruce Willis was dead all along" for my entire life.. As well as "I see dead people" memes..

But fact is. This movie really is "that good".

Bruce Willis has been known for the action films lke DIE HARD, at the time. He never did such a quite role.. But it really was some of the best diễn xuất I seen from Willis.. Just like Mel Gibson in Signs.. Which I still don't get why everyone hates that movie.. Espically after Chris Stuckmann's review..

Anyway.....
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posted by Canada24
I read my bài viết POOR SQUIDWARD.. And doing this to hiển thị his brief moments of epicness

TOP EIGHT AWESOME SQUIDWARD MOMENTS

#1: pizza, bánh pizza DELIVERY:
SpongeBob finally got the pizza, bánh pizza to the customer, who proceeds to chó cái, bitch and scream about how they didn't bring him a drink (which he totally didn't order) and refuses to take the pizza. SpongeBob returns to Squidward in hysterical tears, and Squidward — who, mind you, despises SpongeBob — goes back to the customer..
Customer: Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't payin' for that!
Squidward: Well, this one's on the HOUSE! (slams pizza, bánh pizza box...
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#1: ROY EARLE - LA NOIRE:
Earle has little respect for others. This is evident from various racist and misogynistic remarks that he makes throughout the game.

Earle is also an opportunist. He lấy trộm, đánh cắp a roll of money worth $1,000 which was actually evidence, after claiming "the department owed him fifty," when the department only owed him $20. He also evidently took bribes and had a personal stake in the fixed boxing match between Albert Hammond and Kid Galahad. He also tells Phelps in The Black Caesar that he wanted to bọc up the case before he had to actually work overtime instead of just claiming...
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#1: THE MYSTERIOUS MAN:
The strange man doesn't seem to be entirely human. He knows a startling amount of John's personal history despite John having no recollection of ever meeting him in the past, and John repeatedly asks who he is, and how he knows John, but the man always avoids the question. In his last encounter with John, he is seen standing bởi a cây overlooking John's ranch at Beecher's Hope. He cryptically tells John that it's "a beautiful spot". In the Playable Epilogue, it's the excat spot that John, Abigail, and Uncle are buried after the US Army's attack on the ranch.
And even...
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#5: BRIAN JEREMY:
He has a pretty childish way of agreeing on everything Billy says and does, and once imitated Johnny in a pretty immature way. He's willing to lie, Kiss ass, and stab people in the back if it means saving his own skin. And even if bạn spare him, he later tries to kill bạn anyway..


#4: JASON MICHAELS:
Yes Jason, keep fucking a Russian Mobster's daughter, and stealing man's expensive vodka. Clearly nothing bad is gonna come from that. Especially when your fully aware of how angry it's making him..


#3: ASHLEY BUTLER:
Her addiction means she'll sleep with anyone to get the tiếp theo fix,...
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#1: FRIDAY THE 13th, ORGINAL:
I just don't get how THAT gave us Jason Voorhees.. It's so stupid.


#2: KILL BILL:
It's weird.. I just always found this movie TOO action-y.. I don't know if it's Uma Thurman.. The over acting.. The subtitles.. hoặc just that I had to sit though it over a thousand times..
Either way.. I'll put this movie lower on this, but it's the quickest I could think of.


#3: SAW 3D:
This is when the series became that torture porn bạn THINK the series started as.. It's stupid.. The movie is stupid.


#4: RESIDENT EVIL:
No thank you..


#5: REVENANT:
Let me clarify.. I DO like this movie.. But I mainly just watch the first half, rarely the một giây half.
But still.. Leonardo literary had to eat raw meat, crawl in the snow, and get ravaged bởi a CGI grizzly, to finally get that damn oscar..
Well.. Shit.. This is what my life has come to.

Reviewing one of the most, sadistic, mean spirited, shit your pants, scary, films ever made..

This film has NO limits.. They legit murdered real animals, cause the diractor is a sadist.. So much so, that he, no joke, was actually arrested and had to prove to a court room that it's only a movie, and that his actors are all fine.

So yeah.. bạn can all keep watching your Blair Witch Project.. bạn can keep believing that to be real.. But least nobody got arrested for that one.

Next time someone says "found footage was NEVER scary", maybe so them this...
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THE KNOCKING GAME:

I have a friend at MHC who was willing to clean this up and pass it along. I’m not sure NoSleep is the right place for this story. There are no ghosts hoặc anything like that. I just wanted to share a creepy prank someone played on me and my friends.

---

Back when I was in high school, we used to play something called the Knocking Game. We’d go out to the abandoned McAllister house after dark, shut ourselves inside, turn off all the lights, and wait. Eventually, there would be a knock at the door. The knocking would get louder and louder until somebody finally chickened out...
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Let's review the most overrated creepy mỳ ống, mì ống ever..

Everyone loves too say it.. "Jeff the killer is overrated"..

I know what your thinking.

YOU: Connor, how can it be overrated if nobody likes it?..

Well... Shut up. I'M the sarcastic one here. Not you.

Let's take read what Wind says..

"Jeff is just another emotional emo teenager who wants to be edgy and scary when he is just annoying. There is nothing cool about being a psychotic murderer. There’s nothing great about glorifying someone who kills people. This is just pathetic. So Jeff is a kid who gets picked on so much to the point where he just...
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One of the greatest examples of GOOD jump scares is Insidious.
This movie is so scary, yet so awesome.
Even the 3rd one was pretty enjoyable.
Elise Reiner is the protagonist of the third, and she's the most badass old lady ever.. Well. She's about 60 hoặc something.. So.. Old-ish..

Anyway.. Here's what happens..

A married couple Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne), their sons Dalton (Ty Simpkins) and Foster (Andrew Astor), and infant daughter Cali have recently moved into a new home. One night, Dalton is drawn to the attic when he hears creaking noises and sees the door open bởi itself. He...
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Read the MLP/GTA crossover if your wondering why Trixie is suddenly the stories cover, instead of Glazey, Glaze, Glaze..





Trixie and Saten are lying in bed.

Trixie: Ohh, cheer up.. There were.. Parts I liked.

Saten: This is so embarrassing.

Trixie: (kisses his cheek) It's okay, you've had it rough lately.

Saten: (sighs) Just give me another try.

Trixie: Ohh, jee.. bạn don't have to impress me babe.

Saten: Too be honest, it's thêm for myself.

Trixie: (giggles) Fine, I guess we ca-

Dinky: I'm home.

Saten: Damn it.

Trixie: (laughs at this, and goes to get dressed).

SHORTLY AFTER:

Saten: (hugs Dinky) xin chào kiddo,...
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#1: RYAN REYNOLDS - GREEN LANTERN:
Anyone who's seen the trailer of DeadPool, knows Ryan is just looking for any excuse possible to insult his own performance in Green Lantern.
It's not the WORST movie, it's at least watchable.
But still pretty bad..


#2: JASON BATEMAN - HORRIBLE BOSSES 2:
I actually found this movie hilarious, but yet Bateman wishes he had nothing to do with it, even though it's not even too bad of a movie..


#3: JIMMY TATRO - GROWN UPS 2:
It's his first time appearing in hollywood.
And I can tell Jimmy hates this, almost every new Youtube skit involves insulting this movie.
Though.....
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Earl Haley honestly "tried".. But the script was all wrong, so was the make up..

They probably were trying to make Freddy scary again.

But they missed on actually SCARY in the orginal.. It was just pointless jump scares like the remake.. Freddy was in the shadows, bạn never understood who, hoặc even WHAT this was.. And he barely talks in the first.. He is always laughing (and I mean SCARY laughter)..

Also..

It actually takes a while before he kills bạn in the REAL Freddy Krueger movies..
He likes playing games with his victims.. In the first, this including sadistically stalking you, and getting...
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Nostalgia Critic..

Who doesn't tình yêu Nostalgia Critic.

Well, certainly enough people for him to have a name for Fanfiction stories..

But the thing is. I was shocked bởi the fact this story I'm đọc is actually GOOD..
It actually fits the mood of Nostalgia Critic.
It's not just one of the great many soap operas, hoặc clopping stores.

It's him reviewing that dumb đít, mông, ass hiển thị TEEN TITANS GO. After Satan brought it to earth (for those that don't watch the show. The recurring actor Malcolm cá đuối, ray has a recurring role lord Saten, protraying the "devil" as a "internet troll", rather than the "king of evil"), cause...
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