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 Lemons ... get it?
Lemons ... get it?
I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).


This is a little graphic for those of bạn who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)



1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous

2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy

3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling

4. Edward has a temper

5. Though there are no ma cà rồng and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL

6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile

7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella

8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them

9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)

10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 giây after seeing Bella only bite her lip

11. Tanya is a bitch

12. Rose is the coolest badass ever

13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere

14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re đọc a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: hoặc Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]

15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story hoặc a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I tình yêu you” before sex

16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 giây before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids

17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella búp bê barbie and always takes her shopping against her will

18. No matter how long the story is hoặc what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips

19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her bởi Alice hoặc Rose

20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with âm nhạc and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits

21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon

22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.

23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick

24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.

25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah

26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme

27. They always rip condoms with their teeth

28. At one time hoặc another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”

29. The tác giả will almost always sneak in at least one book hoặc movie quote

30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out bởi Edward watching her sleep
posted by Emmett4ever
Hey all your wait is over. I decided to post Ch.2. ENJOY!!! :)


Bella's POV


I got in my car and drove to school. All eyes were on my car. I was so excited and then I remebered I was 18. That's when I saw him. An angel,my angel,I couldn't beleive that I was so lucky to have him.To see him waiting for me with that tim, trái tim stopping smile. My Edward. And tiếp theo to him his sister,Alice (they weren't related.The buzz around here is that all the Cullen sibilings were adopted bởi Dr.Cullen and his wife.But they looked alike with their golden eyes and the bruise like shadows under their eyes). In Alice's hands...
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Maria, tired of tripping over the same entanglement of brambles every single time she walked through the front gate, reached down and forcefully ripped the twisted plant from the soil. It came loose reluctantly and left Maria with numerous cuts and scratches on her palm. She wasn’t worried- she was used to that kind of thing.
Brushing her hands, Maria made her way up the path and opened the peeling front door.
“Grandma?” she called. There was no answer. It was likely that her grandmother was working in the garden. Maria wondered if it was something all old people did. Her grandmother, certainly,...
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posted by AliceHaleCullen
[Right, so i've been having a look around and couldn't find many Carlisle fanfics. So i decided to have a go at one myself. please leave your thoughts and reviews!]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Racing through the dim lit streets, I could feel it following me. Feel the heavy prescence, the un human heart, the menace. I slipped on the lightly soaked cobbles. Then everything went black.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Waking in the dark, damp cellar I waited to be woken from this horrific dream like experience. A ngọn lửa, chữa cháy so powerful, so raw burnt through my entire body, like logs...
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posted by surfergal
I got up the stairs and just started crying quietly. I knew everyone could hear me but I didnt feel like talking about it hoặc thinking about it hoặc anything. I put on some sweat pants and I found one of Cody's long sleeved t-shirt in my closet I put it on just smelling his scent on it. I just layed in my giường and cried, soon I feel asleep. When I woke up my face was sticky feeling from dried tears. I couldnt believe what had happened yesterday afternoon. i really thouhgt he was going to be my firend but I guess not. I walked hoặc hobbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Alice and Esme were...
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posted by Sk8bordNewMoon
It was not a plasent ngày when I woke up at lunch. My hand was killing me and I felt bad for getting mad at Jacob. I know sooner hoặc later I would have to talk about to some body, I am just not that good on sharing my feelings. I would just rather keep them to myself. I heard people talking in the kitchen, it sounded like Charlie was over. Great, that is all that I need. I liked Charlie but he didn't know any of the secrets, so I would need to lie. I got mad and punched a brick wall? Um, that one would work, unless they already told them. I could here them talking about what happen last night....
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posted by surfergal
I
new is was cold out but I didn't care to much. I freshened my makeup
and he came inside to get me and he was talking to Carlisle, as I was
walking down the stairs Alice told me that Carlisle is playing a
fatherly role. I laughed a little bit but not to where Max would
notice. Carlisle told me to be back before 12 am that is. I đã đưa ý kiến hi to
max and gave him a hug.

I made small talk in the way to the beach. It wasn't much though. When
we got there it was way colder than I thought it was going to be, but I
didn't complain. I ask him how was the coast guard going and he đã đưa ý kiến
good he đã đưa ý kiến that he...
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posted by courtneykutie
Well i was bored and so i just put down whatever came to mind!!hope bạn like it!this is one năm after breaking dawn!


"how long are bạn going auntie alice?"nessie asked me while i was packing up for mine and jazz's trip to Africa,we are visting Những người bạn and want some time alone!

"um...3 weeks"i đã đưa ý kiến and looked yep we will get back in three weeks
"yep i seen us get back in 3 week ness bạn need to try not to grow up that fast while im gone"i đã đưa ý kiến and kissed her curly hair.
"I'll try!"she đã đưa ý kiến and jumped up gave me a hug and Kiss and said"bye auntie alice tình yêu you"the she left

then i seen Edward...
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posted by edwardcullen865
i would try to get her back through talking but if that didn't work i would fight for her .emmett đã đưa ý kiến he would help me and edward probably would to but as for the rest i'm uncertain about.
we landed in vancouver at nine o'clock ni the evening . we lấy trộm, đánh cắp a fast car a red one .i wasn't to happy on the fact that we lấy trộm, đánh cắp it as everyone else was confortable. Nessie wasn't far away now. i was so worried and scared for Nessie and for all of us.i wondered if we would have to go in the way we did last time a was in Italy. it all flashed before my eyes ,and i think Edward's too because he kissed me...
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What is your typical ngày like on the set of New Moon, the sequel to Twilight?

New Moon was a very relaxed film to work on and it all starts with how easy going director Chris Wietz is. That vibe rolls down to the crew and actors. It makes it so easy when we've all worked together before. Everything was so well organized, making it easy for the actors to do our job. We had thêm time to just laugh and make jokes and hang out; it's important to have a cast that gels the way we do and you'll see that thêm in the một giây film.

The entire cast of Twilight and New Moon has gone from Hollywood new faces...
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posted by pie-102
hi i dont know what to call this but heres the first chapter if bạn have any ideas tell me

"Alice we don't need to dress up it's just high school.again." I đã đưa ý kiến under my breath.
"Oh come on Bella can't bạn let me have some fun today."
"Fine." I đã đưa ý kiến giving up trying to argue with Alice. Alice had me in dark washed skinny jeans and high heel ankle boots,with a purple long-sleeved layered casual t.
"Just today though."Not wanting her to get the wrong idea that i would let her do this everyday.
"Agreed.Now stay still I'm almost finished.
"Time to go Renesemee,Jacob."I yelled upstairs. Jacob was now moved in with us we all pretty much not breath anymore but we had to get used to it again since we can go to schol again beacause renesemee is 7 now and stoped ageing
ok so i have it up quicker, i hope that makes everyone happy. this is dedicated to littlemiss_ME for commenting first. same again for this one. plz plz plz plz plz review.....it makes me very, happy. i dont know if i've been putting disclaimers on here but i always froget, i dont own Twilight, i only own Keith. and this one is quite long. thanks for reading!!

Chapter 9 Finding Treasure (Edward’s P.O.V.)

I ran up the trail as fast as I could, leaving Emmett and Jasper in my dust. It spread out about 25 miles up and then just all went separate ways as if she was torn into a bunch of pieces and...
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ok so i finally got this one done, the fight is tiếp theo in edwards pov then the tiếp theo chapter is the fight in bella's pov. this is dedicated to     
1twilight_lover for commenting first, same for this one, plz plz review, even if u dont like it, just lie to make me feel like people actually like it, lolz jk but plz review it really makes me happy. i will get the tiếp theo one up bởi thursday in america. thanks to everyone who supported me while i was nghề viết văn this, there are only 15 chapters, and they are all done, in a notebook, but im happy to post them on here. now read and be happy...this...
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posted by Natalia94
----------Edward and his family leave Forks because he believes he is endangering Bella's life. Bella falls into a deep depression, until she develops a strong friendship with werewolf Jacob Black. Jacob and the other Người sói in his tribe must protect her from Victoria, a vampire seeking to avenge her mate James' death bởi killing Bella. A misunderstanding occurs, and Edward believes Bella is dead. Edward decides to commit suicide in Volterra, Italy, but he is stopped bởi Bella and Alice, Edward's sister. They meet with the Volturi, a powerful coven of vampires, and are released on the condition...
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Edward's Pov.

I wake up, finding myself asleep, in ropes, mouth covered. Everyone else is sleeping,
and I can't break myself out of it. Then, Jasper and the man, come in. I pretend to sleep.

"Should we do it now? hoặc later?"

"The killing of Bella? We will wait until she goes through what these guys experienced,
then, we will do them first. Then her."

No. No. NO!!!!! I must get my self out of this! I must find Bella and fast!!
What am I going to do! I can't get myself out!

Rosalie: Uh...

Jasper: Looks like sumbody's up! Can we do it now master? Please!?
Just so I know what to do with the others?

Master: Alright, but just her.

Rosalie: AH Mrjekjsnubgu!!!

NO!!! NOT ROSALIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bella's Pov

"Stop Jasper!!! Stop!! bạn are under a wicked spell!
Is this your revenge!"

"Why yes my dear. bạn married Edward and had a baby named
Renesmee. So, what I have decided to do is to throw them in the dungeon
until bạn say yes to my proposal."

Now, I was in tears.

"Will bạn marry me?"

I wanted to say NO!!! But not in that tone of manner.

"Thank you, but I will pass," I đã đưa ý kiến as politly as I could.

Then Rosalie went through exactly the same thing
Renesmee and Edward did.

"You know, I will do this to all your family. I even did it to Alice.
They aren't strong enough to break the ropes they...
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Its short sorry. its supposed to be a cliff hanger. the tiếp theo one is a lot longer.
I promise.


Bella's Pov.

We all looked at each other. That scream was SO familiar. Where's Alice?
Alice?

"Alice? Alice where are you?!" I shouted.

Then there was another yell coming from the middle door.
Then we realized. Alice went ahead of us and went towards the middle
section. We all ran as fast as we could. Edward smashed the door
and there they were. Alice, The mysterious man, and Jasper, with
mysterious purple eyes.

"Surprised to see me?" the man and Jasper đã đưa ý kiến at once.
Renesmee Pov.

I was excited when I heard that I got to do what my family does!
I was happy until now. That sign creeped me out. Greatly. Mom and
Dad were in front of the crowd, and I stood in the back tiếp theo to Emmett
and Rosalie. Uncle Emmett hugged me. He knew that I was dyingly scared.

"It will be okay. Uncle Jasper will be back to normal in no time," he đã đưa ý kiến gently.

"Right. He will be fine," Aunt Rosalie said.

Suddenly, the large door opened, then, mom and dad entered proudly.

__________________________________________________

I felt a chill spread through my body. Though, I felt like I need to help Jasper. He needs
help. My help.

As we entered the black castle, it was pitch black. There was a bondfire ahead of us and
it wasn't just a regular fire! IT MOVED! It showed us the way until we reached the main room.
Then there were three doors. Through the middle, we heard yelling and screaming from a
girl.
Here's the tiếp theo one!

Edward Pov's

How could Jasper betray us?! He has never done such a thing.
I never thought any of the Cullens would be against each other.

"It says that we need to go to Europe, in France. London, France to be exact.
There is supposed to be a beautiful forest, and deep within the forest is
a black castle. No one is allowed to trespass unless if they wish to die the
harsh way," Bella đã đưa ý kiến solemnly.

I didn't know what to say but to say, "Let's find him."

________________________________________________________________________

Alice' Pov

I felt so ashamed that I kept this secret...
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Sorry bạn guys! I'm overwelming bạn guys aren't I? I'm trying to post as many of these as I can. I'm already done with the series and is planning to write the sequel. So I kind of need to post as many as I can. It'll be confusing to put new and old story up at the same time! ^_^

Bella's POV

It has been passed 2 hours since Edward left. Sigh. To try not to make this harder than it needs to be. I mostly minded my own business. But if Aro hoặc Royce come, I follow their lead. But I hated to do it. When I look myself in the mirror. I really looked like a vampire. I got my Blood-red eyes back for...
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Extra one for bạn today!

Edward's POV

Once we were released, I glanced back at Bella before they shut the door. Bella wasn't even hiển thị a sign of sadness hoặc pleading. She was lifeless, a goddess with a hard, cold, unhappy heart.

Once I got back to the vacation house, I couldn't chịu, gấu it. I can't remember the time at the honeymoon hoặc what happened a couple days ago. I miss her too much. I feel worse than when I left Bella. It was almost as bad as when I thought she was dead. I still can't understand why Bella acted like this. I need some answer.

I decided to go back and see Carlisle. We are...
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