I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).
This is a little graphic for those of bạn who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no ma cà rồng and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 giây after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re đọc a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: hoặc Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story hoặc a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I tình yêu you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 giây before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella búp bê barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is hoặc what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her bởi Alice hoặc Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with âm nhạc and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time hoặc another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The tác giả will almost always sneak in at least one book hoặc movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out bởi Edward watching her sleep
This is a little graphic for those of bạn who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no ma cà rồng and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 giây after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re đọc a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: hoặc Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story hoặc a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I tình yêu you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 giây before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella búp bê barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is hoặc what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her bởi Alice hoặc Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with âm nhạc and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time hoặc another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The tác giả will almost always sneak in at least one book hoặc movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out bởi Edward watching her sleep
Dreamed last night about a time and place
Where from our troubles we had escaped
I held your hand and I felt complete
As bạn turned and đã đưa ý kiến to me
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
bạn and me, we will be
Years went bởi and nothing changed
The tình yêu we shared just stayed the same
As hair grew grey on hàng đầu, đầu trang of our heads
Every night I quietly said
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
bạn and me, we will be
Only a dream
Only a dream
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
bạn and me, we will be
Where from our troubles we had escaped
I held your hand and I felt complete
As bạn turned and đã đưa ý kiến to me
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
bạn and me, we will be
Years went bởi and nothing changed
The tình yêu we shared just stayed the same
As hair grew grey on hàng đầu, đầu trang of our heads
Every night I quietly said
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
bạn and me
bạn and me, we will be
Only a dream
Only a dream
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
bạn and me, we will be
I done me wrong
I done all wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite long
I done all wrong
I done me wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite, quite long
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
If you’re doing wrong
If bạn done all wrong
bạn can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite long
If bạn done all wrong
You’re doing wrong
bạn can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite, quite long
All the wrong bạn done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong bạn done
Will be undone in song
We’re doing wrong
We all done wrong
If we did no wrong
I’m sure we would be gone
I done all wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite long
I done all wrong
I done me wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite, quite long
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
If you’re doing wrong
If bạn done all wrong
bạn can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite long
If bạn done all wrong
You’re doing wrong
bạn can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite, quite long
All the wrong bạn done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong bạn done
Will be undone in song
We’re doing wrong
We all done wrong
If we did no wrong
I’m sure we would be gone
A tear in my brain
Allows the voices in
They wanna push bạn off the path
With their frequency wires
And bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But bạn don’t feel any better
(In my eyes
In my eyes)
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
bạn wish bạn felt better
bạn wish bạn felt better
(In my eyes
A better place)
bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
Allows the voices in
They wanna push bạn off the path
With their frequency wires
And bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But bạn don’t feel any better
(In my eyes
In my eyes)
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
bạn wish bạn felt better
bạn wish bạn felt better
(In my eyes
A better place)
bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
bạn can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ah, ah, ah ,ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek bạn out
Flay bạn alive
One thêm word and bạn won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through bạn any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for bạn to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for bạn to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek bạn out
Flay bạn alive
One thêm word and bạn won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through bạn any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for bạn to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for bạn to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
The giờ has begun
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my tình yêu always
Your window’s opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my tình yêu always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my tình yêu always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Yeah I tremble for bạn tình yêu always
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my tình yêu always
Your window’s opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my tình yêu always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my tình yêu always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Yeah I tremble for bạn tình yêu always
When the thorn bụi cây, cây bụi, tổng thống bush turns white that’s when I’ll come home
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back trang chủ with me
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As bạn watch me wander, curse the powers that be
‘Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long
Far, far away, no voices sounding
No one around me and you’re still there
Far, far away, no choices passing
No time confounds me and you’re still there
In the full moon’s light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear bạn calling me
But I don’t know where I am
And I don’t trust who I’ve been
But if I come trang chủ how will I ever leave
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back trang chủ with me
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As bạn watch me wander, curse the powers that be
‘Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long
Far, far away, no voices sounding
No one around me and you’re still there
Far, far away, no choices passing
No time confounds me and you’re still there
In the full moon’s light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear bạn calling me
But I don’t know where I am
And I don’t trust who I’ve been
But if I come trang chủ how will I ever leave
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little thêm fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, hoặc Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do bạn think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
Breaking Dawn may have been a smash hit with Twihards all over the world, but the Golden dâu rừng, quả mâm xôi foundation was impressed for a different reason.
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little thêm fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, hoặc Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do bạn think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little thêm fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, hoặc Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do bạn think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?