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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If tình yêu is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should bạn believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that chó tình yêu to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at bạn if bạn blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a cây falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the hình năm góc, hình ngũ giác, lầu năm góc were run bởi women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do bạn plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your ghế, chỗ ngồi can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice ngày in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that con cừu, cừu don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 giờ convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for thêm than one ngỗng is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did bạn know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If ôliu, ô liu oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do bạn know if chua cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern ngày witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do Những nàng tiên cá wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do ngựa call their scary dreams?
41) Do bạn get to keep the time bạn save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does một phút cơm, gạo have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do bạn slam revolving doors?
52) If bạn put thực phẩm colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an trái cam, màu da cam is trái cam, màu da cam and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
posted by tamore
 ya know I needed this dumb lil eagle n flag somewhere
ya know I needed this dumb lil eagle n flag somewhere
I fucking tình yêu America.

Yeah, that’s right, I tình yêu it. In a time when it’s oh so trendy to hate society and all this country’s flaws, I tình yêu the United States of America.

And yes, I do acknowledge the flaws. It does suck that there’s still widespread racism and sexism and it sucks that same-sex marriage isn’t nationally recognized. (It also sucks that Marijuana isn’t legal everywhere but ya know, I can let that go.)

I tình yêu America because I’m free. I tình yêu America because I’m free to tình yêu it hoặc I’m free to hate it. I can choose. I can voice my opinions.

I tình yêu that it can be funny...
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