Looking for a laugh?
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a một phút hoặc two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are bạn doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's bia up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the thêm interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in giường with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't bạn sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing tiếp theo to an open grave, as a boy walked bởi and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got trang chủ from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy lingerie and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards bạn may do anything bạn want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
Say no more, look no further! :{D
1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a một phút hoặc two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are bạn doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"
2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's bia up in 1 draft, and ran away.
3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?
4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.
5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the thêm interesting I get to him!"
6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in giường with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...
7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't bạn sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"
8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.
So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.
9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing tiếp theo to an open grave, as a boy walked bởi and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"
10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got trang chủ from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy lingerie and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards bạn may do anything bạn want..."
So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
1.I got stabbed bởi a freaking spoon!
2.OMG!A purple sock!
3.I cú đấm boxes!
4.Oh,shit,shake that grass!
5.Who ate all the đậu phụng, đậu phộng butter!
6.If I ever get the chance to meet wiL Francis,I'm going to ask to touch his wenis.
7.I bet bạn Gerard Way was a player as a baby.
8.I laughed at the orgasm
9.Gerard Way and wiL Francis are the same freaking person!
10.The obsession with death becomes a way life.
11.I have a blood fetish
12.Holy cannibal cupcakes!
13.Edward Cullen is a sparkling gay fairy.
14.THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
15.The cow goes meow
16.I could live off of mac and cheese!
17.I would totally burn a church.
18.Don't touch my bruise!
19.But M&M's are my friends
20.Mommy!The teddy chịu, gấu is staring at me.
2.OMG!A purple sock!
3.I cú đấm boxes!
4.Oh,shit,shake that grass!
5.Who ate all the đậu phụng, đậu phộng butter!
6.If I ever get the chance to meet wiL Francis,I'm going to ask to touch his wenis.
7.I bet bạn Gerard Way was a player as a baby.
8.I laughed at the orgasm
9.Gerard Way and wiL Francis are the same freaking person!
10.The obsession with death becomes a way life.
11.I have a blood fetish
12.Holy cannibal cupcakes!
13.Edward Cullen is a sparkling gay fairy.
14.THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
15.The cow goes meow
16.I could live off of mac and cheese!
17.I would totally burn a church.
18.Don't touch my bruise!
19.But M&M's are my friends
20.Mommy!The teddy chịu, gấu is staring at me.
Tonight bạn go on a murder spree.
It happens every week.
I'm hoping that bạn won't kill me.
bạn buy weapons and guns.
bạn are certainly hooked.
bạn go crazy when your victim runs.
Once the Bones are torn.
bạn cannot turn back.
I hate to say a war is born.
bạn may think it's a-thrilling,
To end so many lives.
But bạn should not go a-killing.
bạn like it when your victims go jumping,
They give out loud hollers.
But you'll soon come to nothing.
Your stopping people from eating,
This trouble needs to stop.
No thêm talking, no thêm beating.
I know this will not cease,
It has been a năm now,
bạn have become a beast.
My friend, my friend.
It happens every week.
I'm hoping that bạn won't kill me.
bạn buy weapons and guns.
bạn are certainly hooked.
bạn go crazy when your victim runs.
Once the Bones are torn.
bạn cannot turn back.
I hate to say a war is born.
bạn may think it's a-thrilling,
To end so many lives.
But bạn should not go a-killing.
bạn like it when your victims go jumping,
They give out loud hollers.
But you'll soon come to nothing.
Your stopping people from eating,
This trouble needs to stop.
No thêm talking, no thêm beating.
I know this will not cease,
It has been a năm now,
bạn have become a beast.
My friend, my friend.
here u go
1. ride around on trolles
2. scream at the hàng đầu, đầu trang of ur voice
3. chuck thing over the isle
4. run around like an idiot
5. go around annoying randemers
6. have a game of bogies(with a friend u have to say it louder than ur friend)
7. play with the kids toys
8. if the cửa hàng has those mad moving step that are flat run up and down them
9. runo up and down them on the wronge side
10. keep runing in and out the cửa hàng
if bạn have done one hoặc thêm of these tips bạn should have benn ngôi vua, ngai vàng out
have fun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
1. ride around on trolles
2. scream at the hàng đầu, đầu trang of ur voice
3. chuck thing over the isle
4. run around like an idiot
5. go around annoying randemers
6. have a game of bogies(with a friend u have to say it louder than ur friend)
7. play with the kids toys
8. if the cửa hàng has those mad moving step that are flat run up and down them
9. runo up and down them on the wronge side
10. keep runing in and out the cửa hàng
if bạn have done one hoặc thêm of these tips bạn should have benn ngôi vua, ngai vàng out
have fun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx