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posted by Bond_Of_Fury
Looking for a laugh?
Say no more, look no further! :{D


1.
Two guys are taking the subway. One of them had a bunch of bananas and a jar of musterd. He peeled a banana, dipped it in the mustard and threw it out of the window. The other guy looked at him weird, but decided not to say anything. After a một phút hoặc two, he did the same thing. Peeled the banana, put it in the mustard, and threw it out of the subway train!
"Why on Earth are bạn doing that." the guy said.
"Hell, do you like bananas with mustard?"

2.
Two guys, Buck and Jamie, were sitting with Mindy, Jamie's girlfriend, in a bar chatting. Buck was amorously glancing towards Mindy, but carefully of course, as Jamie is very jealous. When Jamie got to the bathroom real quick, Mindy whispered Buck hastily:
"Grab your chance! Now!!"
Buck looked around nervously, and drank Jamie's bia up in 1 draft, and ran away.


3.
Why do Japanese students always have such a high IQ? Ever seen a blonde Japanese kid?

4.
I used to hate weddingparties when I was younger. Everyone gave me a poke in my side, saying:
"Hey, when will it be your turn?"
They all stopped when I began doing the same thing... on funerals.

5.
"Tell me, Rose. You're married to an archaeologist, right? Isn't that boring?"
"Not at all! The older I get, the thêm interesting I get to him!"

6.
So once upon a time there was a doctor who had sex with his patient. He has so many regret for it that his concious started to play games with him. To calm himself down, he continuously told himself:
"It's not that bad. You're not the first doctor who's been in giường with his patient, and you're certainly not going to be the last."
But then his other half pulled him inside the real world again, saying:
"But buddy... you're an animal doctor...

7.
So this blonde girl walked into a store.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with dark hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl left, and returned to the store a while after, only with purple hair.
"Mister, can I buy that tv from you?"
"I ain't selling nothing to blonde girls."
The blonde girl asked:
"I don't get it, I'm not even blonde anymore, why wouldn't bạn sell me that tv, mister?"
"Because this is a microwave!"

8.
Why did Napoleon wear a red vest? Because he was a hero whose environment wouldn't notice a thing if he was injured.

So now we know why Hitler wore brown pants.

9.
It's a warm, sunny say on the funeral. An old man was standing tiếp theo to an open grave, as a boy walked bởi and said:
"Feels great, huh gramps, taking a breath of fresh air?"

10.
Yesterday I've witnessed the greatest thing. I got trang chủ from an evening at the pub (not too late this time). I came inside and my wive received me, dressed in sexy lingerie and holding only two velvet cords. She told me:
"Tie me up, and afterwards bạn may do anything bạn want..."

So I tied her up and went to get me another beer!
so, this started out as an email to my friend, but it just kept going on and on and on so i decided to write a book. what is this book about bạn might ask? well, since bạn asked, i shall tell bạn . this is a book about absolutely nothing. so i hope bạn enjoy.

oh and if you're in the middle of something, bạn should probably not read this, cos its really really really long. and this is just a preview!

This Is The Almighty, Great, Incredible Book Of Nothing‼‼

so i stayed trang chủ today and i made this big giant slide hiển thị like summarizing all the twilight sách and its rlly cool and has pics and...
continue reading...
added by Smilebaby05
lmao.
video
crazy
stupid
funny phim chiếu rạp
weird
This video is funny every time I watch it!
video
added by CielXlizzy19
Source: Me
added by KWcat_03x
added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by stickymonkey
Source: Google
posted by Usui--takumi
EMOTICONS Happy‏
^o^ ☺ ☻ ت ヅ ^.^ ツ ッ シ Ü ≧◡≦ ᵔᴥᵔ ^^ (°⌣°)
٩(^‿^)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃) ◕‿◕ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶ =^.^=
(•‿•) ó‿ó ¢‿¢ ٩◔‿◔۶ ಠ◡ಠ ༺‿༻ (^L^)
♥‿♥ ◙‿◙ ●‿● ^( '‿' )^ ^‿^ ❀‿❀ 乂◜◬◝乂
{◕ ◡ ◕} (。◕‿◕。) ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ (▰˘◡˘▰)
< (^^,) > q(❂‿❂)p <【☯】‿【☯】> |◔◡◉| ⊂◉‿◉つ
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ ۹⌤_⌤۹ ⎝⎲⏝⏝⎲⎠ ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
⎝ᄽ⏝⏠⎠...
continue reading...
added by Snake-Eye
Source: comixed.com
Part 2 of zombie survival

1. "Borrow" the car of your dreams.
2. Challenge yourself to get a thêm entertaining zombie kill each week.
3. Make a collection of anything.
4. Get a hobby. (besides zombie killing.)
5. Vandalize something that bạn despise.
6. (If it hasn't happened already) free the động vật from zoo's.
7. Make Những người bạn with a cute little puppy.
8. Go to the place where your yêu thích movie was filmed.
9. Wear whatever bạn think is fashionable.
10. Try to do something impossible.
11. Trash a người nổi tiếng house.
12. Die your hair a different color everyday.
13. Take a mini-vacation from...
continue reading...
Fat lady looking for chapstick cause her lips hurt!
video
funny
weird
ngẫu nhiên
hilarious
crazy
stupid
fat
chapstick song
video
funny
ngẫu nhiên
weird
hilarious
stupid
added by EllentheStrange
Source: deviantart
added by Hot_n_cold
xD I tình yêu this video.
video
funny
ngẫu nhiên
happy birthday
stupid
âm nhạc
parody
posted by dxcfan101
girl 1: OMFG did u hear dat mr scalleywag got fired
girl 2: yah...do u think we should make him a good-bye card???????
girl 1: HECK NO
girl 2: y?????
girl 1: remeber, wat he made us do
girl 2: oh yah.......wait wat???????
girl 1: he made us do really hard pop-quizes, remeber
girl 2: no dat waz ms perrywinkle
girl 1: oh yah.....i know lets make mr scalleywag a good-bye card
girl 2: i just.......never mind
girl 1: sooooo u will come 2 my place nd we will make it
girl 2: k, den tomorrow we will bring it to skool
girl 1: y
girl 2: so everyone can sign it and den we will mail it 2 mr scalleywag
girl 1: k, sooo i'll come over 2 ur house
GIR 2: i thought i waz coming 2 ur house
girl 1: nah we will make it at ur house because u hav better art stuff dan me :)
girl 2: k bye :)
girl 1: bye :)
In haloween people are supposed to dress up in scary costumes... and well scare someone!
were I live, I didn't find anything scary.
Tinkerbell.... NOT SCARY princesses......NOT SCARY
hot chó wearing iron man masks...NOT SCARY
fat sumo wrestelers.....maybe a little bit....
NOT SCARY, bạn get the point. Why couldn't they have at least one person who has a arm that comes of when bạn touch it.but,when I was watching my little brother trick hoặc treat I saw this man.... He was in a wheelchair... saying ders kẹo over there!, In this weird voice that reminded me of Michal Jackson! Then out of no where he fell out of his wheel chair and said,Yah want to shake my
hand?, with his black teeth open wide....then, I steped back a few (dozen) feet with my eyes
open wide. that was the only thing on haloween that actually scared me.
added by dreamcatcher321