sorry this took so long my ever faithful darlings. I tình yêu bạn all i just keep getting really sick. I don't like winter flu's. anyway i'm back and ready to go so i wrote the tiếp theo part for bạn all. WARNING this part is a little sad :(
Tanner ~POV~
As soon as Jessie stormed off and drove away I headed for my room. It wasn’t because I felt like crying, I mean I was sad that I had hurt Jessie, It was thêm because I didn’t want to see my brother. I could hear Stephan yelling after me.
"Hey Tanner wait! Tanner I’m sorry, let me explain…." I didn’t need an explanation. My brother was an idiot and I didn’t think I’d ever understand why. Why he decided to bring his homophobic girlfriend here to meet me. Why he would even start dating a girl like that.
I slammed the door to my room and threw myself on my bed. I wasn’t about to cry, I told myself. I felt like a total dick. I had kissed Jessie back every time he kissed me. I even allowed him to do perverted things to me; I didn’t pull away hoặc tell him to stop. I actually liked it, all of it. Then, as soon as he’s called my 'boyfriend' I push him away.
What was wrong with me? I liked Jessie didn’t I? After Tyler I hadn’t wanted to ngày anyone. I had được trao him everything, literally. I hadn’t really expected it to last but when it did end I was crushed.
I was trying to protect myself. I didn’t want to get hurt, I had convinced myself all jocks were the same but maybe Jessie wasn’t like that and I needed to give him a chance.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Go away!” I yelled.
“It’s me Elijah, open up” he said.
“It’s not locked, bạn can come in” I đã đưa ý kiến back. I heard the door opened, the giường sank under the weight of my brother. Elijah crawled up beside me and laid down. I looked over at him, his golden eyes looking at me from under black bangs.
“What do bạn want?” I asked.
“Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?” he asked with a smile. Elijah, 14 and yet I still felt he knew thêm about life itself than me.
“So I met Katrina” he said. I put my head in my pillow. “Ya know maybe bạn should have heard Stephan out.”
“So he could say what? ‘I’m sorry for dating someone who won’t accept you?’ ”
“Like I đã đưa ý kiến bạn needed to hear him out. Stephan really likes this girl. She’s really nice and their perfect together, except for the obvious.”
“So because he lives here, I’m going to just have to put up with her and her phobia?!”
“No, he’s trying to help her. I mean he’s trying to make her…none homophobic.” It made me feel a little better to know that but I still didn’t totally like the idea of not being informed. “I also heard about um the guy bạn were with.”
“You mean the one that I really liked and screwed up because I’m a fucking idiot? Ya he was here”
“So what are bạn going to do? I mean about Jessie, that’s his name right?”
“What the hell!” I đã đưa ý kiến sitting up. “How do bạn know all this?”
“I came trang chủ early today, I was coming through the phòng bếp, nhà bếp door and well...I think I walked in on something I shouldn’t have. I just watched everything from that point on.” I blushed; my 14 năm old brother saw all THAT!
“Oh, so you’re not wireded out are you?” I asked.
“No, Jessie’s really hot so I say good for you” I blushed again. My younger brother was also an in the closet Bi.
“Well if bạn did see everything then bạn saw how I let him leave. What the hell do I do now?”
“Well bạn could apologize and explain” he said.
“Explain what?”
“That your scared, tell him why, tell him the truth and trust me he’ll understand. And if he is still upset after that well I can think of some ways to make him happy” he đã đưa ý kiến winking. I shoved him and he lunged at me as we wrestled before he pushed me off the bed.
We both laughed at the other. Elijah was right, I needed to face my past sooner hoặc later. If I wanted Jessie back, I was going to have to break down my mental barrier first.
Jessie’s POV
At school the following ngày I felt…off. I couldn’t concentrate in first hoặc một giây period. All through English Tanner avoided eye contact with me. I wanted to yell at him for ignoring me after what he đã đưa ý kiến the other day. To tell him that he was being childish if he though avoiding me was the answer.
It wasn’t that he đã đưa ý kiến that he wasn’t my boyfriend, it was the way he đã đưa ý kiến it. Like the thought of being my boyfriend was disgusting. My reaction to what Tanner đã đưa ý kiến may have seemed over dramatic but not to me. We had never officially become boyfriend and well boyfriend, but when we kissed I knew he felt something.
I knew that for normal circumstances our ‘relationship’ was moving at a fast pace. I just couldn’t help it, for someone who has never found anyone attractive, I wasn’t willing to waste time.
When the chuông, bell for lunch rang I was grateful, I needed time to think about what to do next. di chuyển on? Approach Tanner? Instead I went straight for the cafeteria. I found my bàn were my fellow football players and cheerleaders were waiting. I sat beside Stephen, I smiled thinking it funny. Tanner’s brother’s name was Stephan and Stephen happens to be my best friend’s name.
“‘Sup Jessie” Stephen said. I threw my bag on the floor bởi my feet.
“Not much, same old I guess” I replied. I did a quick scan of the cafeteria to try and find Tanner. I didn’t see him but that was probably because he usually goes out for lunch. I continued to sweep the room for him anyway.
“Jessie who are ya looking for?” Natalie asked. She was clearly upset she wasn’t getting enough attention. I looked at all my friends.
“Sorry guys and girls but I gotta go” I đã đưa ý kiến picking my bag back up and standing.
“Well were the hell are bạn going?” they asked.
“Uh Tanner” I đã đưa ý kiến before running into the crowd of people buying lunch.
“Wait Tanner the gay one?” I could hear Stephen yell after me, but I ignored him. I walked around scanning every table. I noticed Melody sitting at a bàn at the very back with the boy Lewis and another blond guy but there was no Tanner. I walked up to them.
“Where’s Tanner?” I asked Melody. All three of them looked up at me in shock except for the blond. In fact he glared at me like I was an enemy hoặc something.
“Oh uh he’s at the green house, some meeting I think” Melody said.
“Why do bạn wanna know were tanner is?” The blond asked in an aggressive voice.
“Jack shut it” Lewis whispered to him. “Excuse him please” Lewis đã đưa ý kiến smiling at me.
“Do bạn need help finding the greenhouse?” melody asked.
“No I should be fine” I đã đưa ý kiến and turned towards the door. How could I forget were me and Tanner had our first kiss? I easily found it at the back of the school garden. I looked through the windows but I couldn’t see anyone.
I opened the door, it was unlocked. I walked quietly down the aisles of plants. I didn’t hear any talking. I found that weird since there was supposed to be a meeting. I turned the corner and almost tripped over Tanner. He was crouched on the floor with his head buried in his shirt. He looked up at me and immediately covered his face again. That’s when I noticed his red eyes and tears.
I Bent down in front of him and put a hand out. He flinched and tried to pull away.
“Tanner I’m not going to try anything” I said. He relaxed and I pulled the áo sơ mi from his face, he looked away from me. “I’m sorry if I made bạn upset Tanner.” Immediately he looked at me with almost panic.
“No Jessie it’s not your fault” he đã đưa ý kiến in a shaky voice.
“Then what is it?” I asked.
“I told myself yesterday that I was going to tell bạn everything about my past so you’d understand but...Then I started remembering and I...I just...” he started tearing again. To make him cry it must have been something serious.
“What about your past?” I asked again.
“Tyler, the reason I’ve been afraid. The reason I didn’t want a boyfriend”
“Tanner what did Tyler do to you?”
“He… he invited me to a party. The one they had to celebrate their tournament victory.” I had been at the party, it was at Tyler’s house, lots of people, booze drugs bạn name it.
“He still hadn’t told anyone that we were going out, I wanted to confront him about it at the party. When I got there it was already maybe an giờ in to the party, Tyler had obviously been drinking. He came to me and asked if I wanted to go upstairs, I was naïve being much younger.”
“I thought he just wanted alone time, he brought me to his room. He pushed me on the giường and tore off my clothes. I got scared, I didn’t want that, I wasn’t ready. I asked and begged him to stop. He đã đưa ý kiến that it was my fault for thinking he’d wait. No matter how much I begged, he didn’t even prepare me. He just started and I cried and cried but he wouldn’t stop.”
Tanner started to tear up thêm and they spilled over. “After he was done he left me, naked, torn, broken, bleeding and scared. He told me he couldn’t be with someone who was a guy, he đã đưa ý kiến that he wanted sex and if I couldn’t do it he would find someone who could”
Tanner completely broke down sobbing. I felt tears sting my eyes to. I grabbed him and pulled him towards me, I put his head on my chest and he curled his tiny body on my lap. I held him till his tears stopped.
“Did bạn tell anyone?” I asked.
“The only ones I told were my brothers, but not till a năm later. I told them going to the police was useless and that I’d be okay. They didn’t believe me but I forced the memory back. I pushed it to the very back of my mind till I totally forgot. But every once in a while I remember”
“Tanner, I need bạn to know that I will never hurt you. bạn might not believe me and after what bạn went through. I like bạn and some people don’t believe in tình yêu at first sight because it’s cheesy. I have never felt like this for someone like I do for you.”
Tanner looked up at me. “Jessie, I’m sorry for making bạn so mad, I mean what I đã đưa ý kiến was really un-called for.”
“Hey um Tanner?”
“Yea?”
“Could I be your boyfriend?”
“Alright but be prepared”
“Prepared for what?”
“Your Những người bạn aren’t exactly going to be understanding” he said.
“Well I couldn’t give a fuck what they think” I đã đưa ý kiến and bent down to Kiss him.
Tanner ~POV~
As soon as Jessie stormed off and drove away I headed for my room. It wasn’t because I felt like crying, I mean I was sad that I had hurt Jessie, It was thêm because I didn’t want to see my brother. I could hear Stephan yelling after me.
"Hey Tanner wait! Tanner I’m sorry, let me explain…." I didn’t need an explanation. My brother was an idiot and I didn’t think I’d ever understand why. Why he decided to bring his homophobic girlfriend here to meet me. Why he would even start dating a girl like that.
I slammed the door to my room and threw myself on my bed. I wasn’t about to cry, I told myself. I felt like a total dick. I had kissed Jessie back every time he kissed me. I even allowed him to do perverted things to me; I didn’t pull away hoặc tell him to stop. I actually liked it, all of it. Then, as soon as he’s called my 'boyfriend' I push him away.
What was wrong with me? I liked Jessie didn’t I? After Tyler I hadn’t wanted to ngày anyone. I had được trao him everything, literally. I hadn’t really expected it to last but when it did end I was crushed.
I was trying to protect myself. I didn’t want to get hurt, I had convinced myself all jocks were the same but maybe Jessie wasn’t like that and I needed to give him a chance.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Go away!” I yelled.
“It’s me Elijah, open up” he said.
“It’s not locked, bạn can come in” I đã đưa ý kiến back. I heard the door opened, the giường sank under the weight of my brother. Elijah crawled up beside me and laid down. I looked over at him, his golden eyes looking at me from under black bangs.
“What do bạn want?” I asked.
“Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?” he asked with a smile. Elijah, 14 and yet I still felt he knew thêm about life itself than me.
“So I met Katrina” he said. I put my head in my pillow. “Ya know maybe bạn should have heard Stephan out.”
“So he could say what? ‘I’m sorry for dating someone who won’t accept you?’ ”
“Like I đã đưa ý kiến bạn needed to hear him out. Stephan really likes this girl. She’s really nice and their perfect together, except for the obvious.”
“So because he lives here, I’m going to just have to put up with her and her phobia?!”
“No, he’s trying to help her. I mean he’s trying to make her…none homophobic.” It made me feel a little better to know that but I still didn’t totally like the idea of not being informed. “I also heard about um the guy bạn were with.”
“You mean the one that I really liked and screwed up because I’m a fucking idiot? Ya he was here”
“So what are bạn going to do? I mean about Jessie, that’s his name right?”
“What the hell!” I đã đưa ý kiến sitting up. “How do bạn know all this?”
“I came trang chủ early today, I was coming through the phòng bếp, nhà bếp door and well...I think I walked in on something I shouldn’t have. I just watched everything from that point on.” I blushed; my 14 năm old brother saw all THAT!
“Oh, so you’re not wireded out are you?” I asked.
“No, Jessie’s really hot so I say good for you” I blushed again. My younger brother was also an in the closet Bi.
“Well if bạn did see everything then bạn saw how I let him leave. What the hell do I do now?”
“Well bạn could apologize and explain” he said.
“Explain what?”
“That your scared, tell him why, tell him the truth and trust me he’ll understand. And if he is still upset after that well I can think of some ways to make him happy” he đã đưa ý kiến winking. I shoved him and he lunged at me as we wrestled before he pushed me off the bed.
We both laughed at the other. Elijah was right, I needed to face my past sooner hoặc later. If I wanted Jessie back, I was going to have to break down my mental barrier first.
Jessie’s POV
At school the following ngày I felt…off. I couldn’t concentrate in first hoặc một giây period. All through English Tanner avoided eye contact with me. I wanted to yell at him for ignoring me after what he đã đưa ý kiến the other day. To tell him that he was being childish if he though avoiding me was the answer.
It wasn’t that he đã đưa ý kiến that he wasn’t my boyfriend, it was the way he đã đưa ý kiến it. Like the thought of being my boyfriend was disgusting. My reaction to what Tanner đã đưa ý kiến may have seemed over dramatic but not to me. We had never officially become boyfriend and well boyfriend, but when we kissed I knew he felt something.
I knew that for normal circumstances our ‘relationship’ was moving at a fast pace. I just couldn’t help it, for someone who has never found anyone attractive, I wasn’t willing to waste time.
When the chuông, bell for lunch rang I was grateful, I needed time to think about what to do next. di chuyển on? Approach Tanner? Instead I went straight for the cafeteria. I found my bàn were my fellow football players and cheerleaders were waiting. I sat beside Stephen, I smiled thinking it funny. Tanner’s brother’s name was Stephan and Stephen happens to be my best friend’s name.
“‘Sup Jessie” Stephen said. I threw my bag on the floor bởi my feet.
“Not much, same old I guess” I replied. I did a quick scan of the cafeteria to try and find Tanner. I didn’t see him but that was probably because he usually goes out for lunch. I continued to sweep the room for him anyway.
“Jessie who are ya looking for?” Natalie asked. She was clearly upset she wasn’t getting enough attention. I looked at all my friends.
“Sorry guys and girls but I gotta go” I đã đưa ý kiến picking my bag back up and standing.
“Well were the hell are bạn going?” they asked.
“Uh Tanner” I đã đưa ý kiến before running into the crowd of people buying lunch.
“Wait Tanner the gay one?” I could hear Stephen yell after me, but I ignored him. I walked around scanning every table. I noticed Melody sitting at a bàn at the very back with the boy Lewis and another blond guy but there was no Tanner. I walked up to them.
“Where’s Tanner?” I asked Melody. All three of them looked up at me in shock except for the blond. In fact he glared at me like I was an enemy hoặc something.
“Oh uh he’s at the green house, some meeting I think” Melody said.
“Why do bạn wanna know were tanner is?” The blond asked in an aggressive voice.
“Jack shut it” Lewis whispered to him. “Excuse him please” Lewis đã đưa ý kiến smiling at me.
“Do bạn need help finding the greenhouse?” melody asked.
“No I should be fine” I đã đưa ý kiến and turned towards the door. How could I forget were me and Tanner had our first kiss? I easily found it at the back of the school garden. I looked through the windows but I couldn’t see anyone.
I opened the door, it was unlocked. I walked quietly down the aisles of plants. I didn’t hear any talking. I found that weird since there was supposed to be a meeting. I turned the corner and almost tripped over Tanner. He was crouched on the floor with his head buried in his shirt. He looked up at me and immediately covered his face again. That’s when I noticed his red eyes and tears.
I Bent down in front of him and put a hand out. He flinched and tried to pull away.
“Tanner I’m not going to try anything” I said. He relaxed and I pulled the áo sơ mi from his face, he looked away from me. “I’m sorry if I made bạn upset Tanner.” Immediately he looked at me with almost panic.
“No Jessie it’s not your fault” he đã đưa ý kiến in a shaky voice.
“Then what is it?” I asked.
“I told myself yesterday that I was going to tell bạn everything about my past so you’d understand but...Then I started remembering and I...I just...” he started tearing again. To make him cry it must have been something serious.
“What about your past?” I asked again.
“Tyler, the reason I’ve been afraid. The reason I didn’t want a boyfriend”
“Tanner what did Tyler do to you?”
“He… he invited me to a party. The one they had to celebrate their tournament victory.” I had been at the party, it was at Tyler’s house, lots of people, booze drugs bạn name it.
“He still hadn’t told anyone that we were going out, I wanted to confront him about it at the party. When I got there it was already maybe an giờ in to the party, Tyler had obviously been drinking. He came to me and asked if I wanted to go upstairs, I was naïve being much younger.”
“I thought he just wanted alone time, he brought me to his room. He pushed me on the giường and tore off my clothes. I got scared, I didn’t want that, I wasn’t ready. I asked and begged him to stop. He đã đưa ý kiến that it was my fault for thinking he’d wait. No matter how much I begged, he didn’t even prepare me. He just started and I cried and cried but he wouldn’t stop.”
Tanner started to tear up thêm and they spilled over. “After he was done he left me, naked, torn, broken, bleeding and scared. He told me he couldn’t be with someone who was a guy, he đã đưa ý kiến that he wanted sex and if I couldn’t do it he would find someone who could”
Tanner completely broke down sobbing. I felt tears sting my eyes to. I grabbed him and pulled him towards me, I put his head on my chest and he curled his tiny body on my lap. I held him till his tears stopped.
“Did bạn tell anyone?” I asked.
“The only ones I told were my brothers, but not till a năm later. I told them going to the police was useless and that I’d be okay. They didn’t believe me but I forced the memory back. I pushed it to the very back of my mind till I totally forgot. But every once in a while I remember”
“Tanner, I need bạn to know that I will never hurt you. bạn might not believe me and after what bạn went through. I like bạn and some people don’t believe in tình yêu at first sight because it’s cheesy. I have never felt like this for someone like I do for you.”
Tanner looked up at me. “Jessie, I’m sorry for making bạn so mad, I mean what I đã đưa ý kiến was really un-called for.”
“Hey um Tanner?”
“Yea?”
“Could I be your boyfriend?”
“Alright but be prepared”
“Prepared for what?”
“Your Những người bạn aren’t exactly going to be understanding” he said.
“Well I couldn’t give a fuck what they think” I đã đưa ý kiến and bent down to Kiss him.
Blessed Yaoi <3 My Tanner and Jessie ;)
