How Boys Think (all credits to the author) 

Chapter 1: Seeing A Girl You Like For The First Time by HowBoysThink

Chapter 1: Seeing A Girl You Like For The First Time

Clyde (Manwhore): Five years or older. I like older woman. HOT.

Dean (Blondie): That’s just wrong, you know some girl in china was 5 and pregnant?

Roger (Nerd): Eww, Dean do you Google shit like that?

Brandon (Badass): You guys a fucking retards. A 3 year age difference is alright. Oh and Reece, Vagina.

Reece: Is that what you have, Brandy? Alright, would you kiss on the first date?

Clyde (Manwhore): Kiss? Are you serious? On the first date? I bang!

Dean (Blondie): Maybe a small peck on the cheek so that she doesn’t think I’m a Manwhore. *Cough* Clyde.

Brandon (Badass): Roger, he doesn’t mean blow a kiss through Skype. Oh and if it seems like she wants to make-out then let the force be with her.

Reece: If someone tells you that your crush is a… slut, what would you do?

Clyde (Manwhore): I would bloody run around fist pumping the air!

Dean (Blondie): Oooooh sluts? I don’t do sluts.

Roger (Nerd): I would start singing “I’m in Love with a Stripper,”

Brandon (Badass): Not that I care, long as she’s not a prossie when we’re dating.

Reece: Advice time! Help this guy on Yahoo Answers.

I like this girl! I’m friends with her on facebook and thats about it. i want to maybe hang out with her more but i dont want to be wierd and i dont know what to say... i dont want to work through my friend to get her i want to do it on my own. what should i say on facebook to her if shes online, if anything? can you tell me exactly what to say? how do i give her signs im interested without being wierd? im a 16 year old boy, and girls have told me im cute but ive got moderate acne with a decent body...

Clyde (Manwhore): Tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. Girls like that shit. Does she have some nice tatas?

Dean (Blondie): Tatas? As in boobs? Just be honest with her! Maybe she already knows.

Roger (Nerd): Wow, that’s a lot of spelling errors.

Brandon (Badass): Tell her you’ve seen better and you don’t like her. She would seek attention from you for the rest of your life.

Reece: Final question, what do you think girls should do in order to attract guys?

Clyde (Manwhore): Victoria’s Secret. Wear it, live it, be it.

Roger (Nerd): She should be herse- Wait, did someone say vagina? Vaggy!

Brandon (Badass): She shouldn’t do jack if she’s going to attract the guys above me.

Reece: We’ve reached the end, any final answers?

This sentence was removed as we felt the user’s privacy and life might be at risk.

Dean (Blondie): Clyde, you are now in the running to be America’s Next Whore.

This sentence was removed as we felt that if you added this user on Skype, you would have nightmares until you’re 65.