From an email I got.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until bạn hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A ngày without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live bởi the sword get shot bởi those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime bạn have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is đã đưa ý kiến that if bạn line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left behind bởi those who got there first.

12. Give a man a cá and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to cá and he will sit in a thuyền all ngày drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When bạn go into court, bạn are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.