A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.
She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.
He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".
"I can't," các câu trả lời the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms!"
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Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde đã đưa ý kiến while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she đã đưa ý kiến to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.
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A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.
She says she's going to Châu Âu on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind Of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the đường phố, street in front of the bank, she has the tiêu đề and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at The blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground nhà để xe and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While bạn were away, we checked bạn out and found that bạn are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would bạn bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally... a smart blonde joke.
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At a bữa tối, bữa ăn tối party, several of the guests were arguing whether men hoặc women were thêm trustworthy. 'No woman,' đã đưa ý kiến one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret.'
'I don't know about that,' answered a blonde woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.'
'You'll let it out some day,' the man insisted.
'I hardly think so!' responded the blonde lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.'
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A blonde and a redhead met for bữa tối, bữa ăn tối after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a áo, áo khoác hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the áo, áo khoác hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend đã đưa ý kiến anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the hàng đầu, đầu trang is down."
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Three blondes are sitting bởi the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.
"Well, if you're going to fish, bạn need fishing licenses," đã đưa ý kiến the Game Warden.
"But officer," replied the một giây blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," đã đưa ý kiến the Game Warden. "Take all the debris bạn want." And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb cá Cop," the một giây blonde đã đưa ý kiến to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead cá hồi in this river?"
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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to dye her hair so she would look like a brunette. Once she was finished and her hair was brown, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of con cừu, cừu and thought,
"Oh! Those con cừu, cừu are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many con cừu, cừu bạn have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, đã đưa ý kiến she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.
He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".
"I can't," các câu trả lời the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde đã đưa ý kiến while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she đã đưa ý kiến to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.
She says she's going to Châu Âu on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind Of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the đường phố, street in front of the bank, she has the tiêu đề and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at The blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground nhà để xe and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While bạn were away, we checked bạn out and found that bạn are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would bạn bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally... a smart blonde joke.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a bữa tối, bữa ăn tối party, several of the guests were arguing whether men hoặc women were thêm trustworthy. 'No woman,' đã đưa ý kiến one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret.'
'I don't know about that,' answered a blonde woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.'
'You'll let it out some day,' the man insisted.
'I hardly think so!' responded the blonde lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde and a redhead met for bữa tối, bữa ăn tối after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a áo, áo khoác hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the áo, áo khoác hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend đã đưa ý kiến anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the hàng đầu, đầu trang is down."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three blondes are sitting bởi the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.
"Well, if you're going to fish, bạn need fishing licenses," đã đưa ý kiến the Game Warden.
"But officer," replied the một giây blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," đã đưa ý kiến the Game Warden. "Take all the debris bạn want." And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb cá Cop," the một giây blonde đã đưa ý kiến to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead cá hồi in this river?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to dye her hair so she would look like a brunette. Once she was finished and her hair was brown, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of con cừu, cừu and thought,
"Oh! Those con cừu, cừu are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many con cừu, cừu bạn have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, đã đưa ý kiến she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
It seems that life goes bởi resembling somewhat of a chuông, bell curve of what is considered successful...
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 10...success is...making your own meals.
At age 12...success is...having friends.
At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is...having sex.
At age 35...success is...having money.
At age 50...success is...having money.
At age 60...success is...having sex.
At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is...having friends.
At age 80...success is...making your own meals.
At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 10...success is...making your own meals.
At age 12...success is...having friends.
At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is...having sex.
At age 35...success is...having money.
At age 50...success is...having money.
At age 60...success is...having sex.
At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is...having friends.
At age 80...success is...making your own meals.
At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot bởi loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that bạn are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls tình yêu Italian food...
Bad girls tình yêu Italian waiters.
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot bởi loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that bạn are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls tình yêu Italian food...
Bad girls tình yêu Italian waiters.