Why do I have this painful, depressing feeling that Michael is angry at me?

I feel like he's so mad at me that there's no way to change that. I admit it. A long time cách đây (I don't remember if it was before hoặc after he passed) I was being very stupid. A complete hybocrit. I fell stupid and like a hybocrit right now. I was saying things about him that makes no sense at all. Things that an MJ người hâm mộ would never say about mike. I don't want to say what I đã đưa ý kiến here because I'm afraid that y'all are going to be angry at me too. All I know is that I regret what I was saying. But I was just joking. I didn't mean any of those things I đã đưa ý kiến but what I was saying was a bit much. I feel like no matter how much I say sorry to him bởi spirit, there no way in the world he can't forgive me. When I đã đưa ý kiến those things, my mom was right there when I was saying those thing, anyways, when I was saying what I was saying, she said, "Valerie, how can bạn say that?" Is it my fault? Is that the reason why I don't be having that much of dreams about him like y'all do? Is it the reason why I don't feel his presence? One time I had a dream about me and him in the bad era was in this kẹo store and I saw a bag of kẹo I wanted and I was saying," Michael can I get this please?" and he said, "no. bạn can't have that. It's not good for you" and I kept asking him why. And he says, "you can't get that. It's not healthy for you," and I say, "but everything in this store is all sugar and candy. It's suppose to be like that," And the tiếp theo thing I remember is that me and him started fighting over it. Can bạn believe that?! Me and the Michael Jackson, my yêu thích sensational biểu tượng was actually fighting over a bag of candy! Where did that come from? Was that dream suppose to be something for him to get back at me with? Is that what that dream was all about? Just to get back at me? I mean, I was just sitting here in my room just minding my business and I just hit me like I've been shot. Then I just layed back on my giường so upset about what I was saying about him. The things I was saying w